The Inner Struggle: Beginnings Series Book 7 (30 page)

“But Dean, we do. We’re together.”

“Bullshit,” he argued. “And if we were, we’re not anymore.”

“No.” She argued with passion as she followed him out of the clinic. “You need me. You need me to be there for you. How are you going to get through this in your life if I don’t help you?”

“So that’s it?” Dean walked backwards in a rush talking to her. “You’re only with me out of pity?”

“No, Dean I’m not with you because I . . .”

“Save it. Save it. I’ll admit I need your eyes. I’ll admit I need your help. But don’t think you have to give yourself to me Ellen to do so. Don’t do that to me. If I’m going to depend on you, I’d rather it be for your help only, not for you. Because letting myself go, letting myself be with you, thinking we have something, is only setting myself up for a hurt I can very well avoid. To think it never crossed my mind that you were with me because you felt sorry for me. I guess I was blind in more ways than one.” Wanting to say no more, Dean turned his back to her and moved quickly to the living section.

“Dean.” Ellen raised her hand and let it fall as she watched him walk away. Her heart dropped like her hand and she immediately felt at a loss. Dean never looked back at her. He just kept moving.

Henry’s breathing was easier. Though his chest still hurt, his deep breaths weren’t as crushing as they had been the previous two days. Allowed by Andrea to get up and get cleaned, Henry was moving on this day. He wasn’t allowed before because he was being monitored too closely. But they granted him some leeway, not enough so as he could go home, but enough to take that shower he needed and put on something other than that shallow hospital garment they gave him.

Ellen made him smile when he emerged from the bathroom. She was wearing her white clinic lab coat. How long had it been since she wore that? Ellen hadn’t worked in the clinic since she and Andrea had their falling out some seven months earlier. Was Ellen working again or was she just in the mood to wear that coat and fix his bed? “Hey, El.”

She spun around, dropping the sheet with a smile. “Look at you walking around.”

“When can I go home?”

“A couple of days. They just want to make sure there isn’t any after effects, Henry.” She moved to him. “You should put a shirt on. It’s chilly in here.”

“I’m fine. Can’t you talk them into letting me go home?”

“I can’t Henry and I don’t want to do that. I need you to be better.” She laid her hand on his face. “And look.” She pulled on her lab coat. “I’m working the clinic and containment for a couple days.”

“Really?” Henry titled his head with a smile. “Aren’t you on maternity leave with Nick?”

“Check this out. Since Frank is injured and on light duty, Joe decided to let me work for a couple days and let him stay with Nick.” She let out a long breath. “I don’t need to tell you I’m enjoying it. So clinic work or not, it’s work. It’s nothing against Nick, but everything against staying home. Now back in bed.” Ellen grabbed his arm, helping him into bed. She fixed the covers, leaning over Henry and tucking him in.

“Thanks, El.”

“Knock-knock.” Jenny Matoose spoke so chipper as she opened up Henry’s door.. “Henry, I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.”

Henry’s eyes rolled slightly and pulled Ellen closer to whisper in her ear, “Why is she in here?”

Ellen turned her head to the door where Jenny stood. “Hi Jenny.”

“Being a special private nurse, Ellen?” Jenny walked in.

“You can say that. It’s called ‘getting them up faster’ therapy. You ought to try it.”

“I would, but fortunately none of my men live as dangerously as yours. Anyhow, getting to my reasons for being here.”

Wanting to laugh at Henry’s ‘Thank God’ in her ear, but she didn’t. She turned and gave Jenny her full attention. “Reasons?”

“Two of them. One, you have yet to register your menstrual cycle with Andrea. You can’t reap the benefits if you don’t.”

“I’ll do that once I figure out what it’s going to be.”

“That’ll be fine,” Jenny said. “Can you make a meeting at my house tonight, say seven? I spoke to most of the women, they can.”

“I guess I can. Why?”

“We want to have a wedding meeting. We want to pick a committee since this is a group project, and start the ball rolling on things. You know, actually sit down and write up what we need to do, who gets involved and such. We need to pick the bridesmaids and decide who the groomsmen are going to be. All of this is so important when it comes to clothing sizes. Once we know what we want to do, we can proceed with the preparations. All basic stuff. So you’ll be there?”

“Sure, I’ll come.”

“Good. See you then.” Jenny moved back to the door. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

Henry waited until Jenny had left before he raised his head up. “Wedding meeting?”

“Oh yeah. There’s going to be a big wedding in Beginnings in a couple of months, Henry. Now what’s going to actually happen isn’t set in stone, but by the talk, it’s going to be big. Complete with bridesmaids, groomsmen, cake, music, the whole thing. Old fashion. It’s the Moon lodge’s big group project.”

“A big wedding.”

“Like in the old world.”

“Who’s having it?”

“Me and you.”

“What?” Henry was shocked.

“Me and you Henry.”

“But, El, you said we weren’t.”

“I know. I know.” She waved out her hand. “I was trying to tell them, but they kept interrupting, they were so excited about a wedding and we were the target. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.. They were having fun and it helps my Frank-cause with Jenny so I let it go.”

“Frank knows about it?”

“Oh sure,” Ellen said. “He thinks doing this with Jenny is a great idea.”

“He thinks us getting married for real is a great idea?”

“Well, no. He didn’t really say anything about the us getting married part. I’m assuming he’ll figure a way to stop it. But he thinks the preparations for it are good.”

“So you already agreed for us to be the showcase wedding?”

“Yes, well, I didn’t have a choice. What’s wrong?”

“El, don’t you think you should have spoken to me first?”

Ellen looked oddly at him. “I’m sorry, Henry. I didn’t think you would mind. You know how important it is that I get close to Jenny.” She watched him get up from the bed. “Henry? Henry what is it?”

“El.” Henry ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t know if it’s such a good idea.”

“What? The wedding?” Ellen giggled at him. “Oh Henry, don’t worry about it. Frank will figure something out. It’s a party. Trust me, if we don’t tie the knot, they’ll find someone who will. They want this. We’re just an excuse..”

“El, I need you to know I feel really awkward about . . .about . . .” He saw she waited for an answer. “I feel . . .” He watched the smile slowly leave her face. “Never mind. Forget I said anything. Jenny involved or not, in a way it’s lying. It makes me feel awkward.”

“Then I promise I won’t let her pester you about it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but you were electrocuted. Thank you.” Ellen giggled and stepped back. “I really have to get back to work. I don’t have many work days before I’m back at home with Nick until he’s old enough to go to the nursery.”

“Will you stop by tonight?” Henry asked as he moved back to the bed.

“No Henry, I’ll stop by in an hour.” She smiled at him as she walked through the door.

After adjusting the back of the bed up, Henry spoke softly as he climbed back into it. “Planning a wedding.” He blew slowly from his mouth. “Just a ploy to get close to Jenny. A wedding.” He spoke to himself then stared at the door as he lay back in bed. “Thanks for considering my feelings in all this.” He grabbed one of his two pillows, brought it to his chest, and held it close. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against the top edge of the pillow. He laid there in a lot more thought than he wanted to be in at that moment.

<><><><>

The sound of heavy artillery aggravated the headache that George had as he inspected the training of his men. It should have been a better day. Having just heard from John Matoose, it was certain now that Beginnings no longer had the CME program. That, according to John Matoose, was lost in the lab fire, along with part of Henry’s memory, so Beginnings was set back. Even though Henry wasn’t dead, it still, in an essence, was a victory to George. Trying to concentrate on good thoughts, he held one ear shut with his finger while he read over notes and watched, with a half eye, the pitiful marksmanship.

The military was building in a replica of what was once in the old world. It was similar to what Beginnings was trying to accomplish only on a bigger scale. Ranking and structure of the military had to remain the same. It was a matter of respect and pride, George thought.

George approached the thin,
blonde, and balding man, slightly similar to John Matoose. He stood behind, marking down and keeping track of what the twenty men shot. “Sergeant.”

“Sir.” He spun to George, concentrating eyes forward and saluting him. His fingertips nearly pointed in his salute to the small half inch scar that garnished his temple a remnant of the implantation of the new chip this Sergeant received.

“At ease, Sergeant. How are our men?”

“Learning sir, but their percentages leave a lot to be desired, “so matter-of-factual he spoke.

“I see.” George twitched his eyebrow in thought about how it didn’t matter how much you programmed them to think and behave a certain way, only true training would get them to achieve what George had hoped for. George didn’t have a teacher with that caliber. “Keep working on them.” Rolling his eyes slightly, George moved on. He was tired of becoming annoyed at how poorly his soldiers were trained. He knew they were but there was nothing he could do about it at the moment. The proof in their training was evident when twenty of them couldn’t take out one of Robbie’s Slagel’s men. Of course Robbie’s men were trained in Beginnings and that, to George, was another thing Beginnings had in their favor. George firmly believed that one top trained man could take out an entire platoon, and an entire platoon should not be able to take out one top trained man. Unfortunately George had none of those. If he did, he certainly wouldn’t be cringing at every shot his men fired.

George stopped walking. What, was he stupid? He actually smacked himself in the forehead mid stride. What was he thinking? He had the technology now to wipe out a part of a memory while keeping the knowledge intact. So why wasn’t he using that part of his technology?

He wanted to pick up his phone but knew it wasn’t safe so he hurried down the hill toward the old CIA building where one of his biology laboratories were now located. He rushed through the first floor to search out the man he hoped would be in his office but wasn’t. He was behind a safety wall of glass working. George caught his attention, calling him out into the corridor to join him.

It took a few minutes, but Dr. Raynes joined George. “Yes Mr. President.”

“The immunization to the viral strain we issued on the Beginnings men...how effective is it once the man has been exposed or affected?”

“So-so, why?” Dr. Raynes asked. “You do know that it is not a full antidote. It has to be given prior to exposure.”

“I know this. Will it counteract the effects?”

“It can slowly and not with a hundred percent certainty. Why?”

“Get it ready.” George snapped his finger. “I need a dosage that could be considered an antidote for a man about six foot two, two hundred or so pounds. Got that? He doesn’t have it yet, but chances are he will. And I need it fast.”

“How fast?”

“I’m shipping out two squads with it tomorrow. Two squads to ensure it arrives.” George began to leave. “Pack it up so it doesn’t go bad. It may take them two or three days to get to their destination.”

“I can do that. I’ll include four vials just to be sure. We have enough.”

“Good, get on that. I have to get things situated. I’ll be sending you the men of the two squads going out. They’ll need inoculated as well.”

“Sir,” Dr. Raynes followed him, “May I ask who it was that was accidentally exposed?”

“It wasn't an accident. It was deliberate and a mistake on my part. A stupid mistake. All along I’m thinking getting rid of him is best, when it never dawned on me to bring him to us and make him work in our favor.”

“Who?”

“Robbie Slagel,” George said his name for the first time in a long time, with a smile.

<><><><>

Ellen squeezed her hands as she held them in the pockets of her lab coat, squeezing the nervousness out as she watched Dean from the clinic lab door while he worked. The day before he had pretty much avoided her like the plague he worked on. Since some time had passed, Ellen figured it safe to talk to him. With a deep breath, a wide smile, and a chipper voice, she walked in. “Morning Dean.” She approached him and he moved aside.

“Ellen.”

“How about me returning to work at the clinic?”

“I see.” He walked around the counter.

“Did you see the samples I did bright and early?”

“Yep.” He slid to her another sheet of orders. “You didn’t do these.”

“I was coming back for them.” She kept her tone upbeat. “I went to see Henry. He’s up and about.”

“Good for Henry.” Dean returned to his work.

“He’s doing pretty good for a man who supposedly has partial amnesia.” She giggled. “Isn’t that funny? I’ve been testing him for two days and he’s answered everything right. Joe thinks I’m dumb. I know what he’s up to.”

“And I know what you’re not up to.”

“Excuse me?” Ellen asked with a smile.

“Your work.” He pushed the orders closer to her. “These need to be done.”

“Dean, I’m trying to talk to you.”

“Ellen.” He finally faced her. “I don’t care. I don’t want to have idle conversation with you. Now, do what you are here to do . . . work.”

Ellen’s mouth opened in a gasp. “I thought you’d be a lot better with me today.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because it’s stupid why you’re mad.”

“You would think that.” Dean turned away from her.

“You know what, Dean?” Ellen stepped back. “Fuck you.”