The India Fan (6 page)

He nodded. ell, then you should go.

e shall be there for a few days.

daresay that will be all right. You will have Polly with you.

Polly was delighted that I was going with her. She said Eff would be pleased.

So I shared in the funeral rites, and very illuminating I found it.

I was surprised by the size of Eff house. It faced a common, round which the four-storied houses stood like sentinels. ff always liked a bit of green,Polly told me. nd she got it there. A little bit of the country and the horses clopping by to let her know she not right out in the wilds.

t what you call the best of both worlds,I said.

ell, I won quarrel with that,agreed Polly.

Eff was about four years older than Polly but looked more. When I mentioned this Polly replied, t the life she led.She did not mention Him because he was dead, and when people died, I realized, their sins were washed away by the all-important respect; but I knew it was life with Him that had aged Eff beyond her years. I was surprised, for she did not seem to be the sort of woman who could be easily cowed, even by Him. She was like Polly in many ways; she had the same shrewd outlook on life and the sort of confidence that declared that none was going to get the better of her before anyone had attempted to do so. During my brief stay I recognized the same outlook in others. It was what is referred to as the cockney spirit; and it certainly seemed to be a product of the streets of London.

That visit was a great revelation to me. I felt I had entered a different world. It excited me. Polly was part of it and I wanted to know more of it.

Eff was a little nervous of me at first. She kept apologizing for things. ot what youe used to, I sure,until Polly said, on you worry about Drusilla, Eff. Me and her get. on like a house afire, don we?I assured Eff that we did.

Every now and then Polly and Eff would laugh and then remember Him lying in state in the front parlour.

e makes a lovely corpse,said Eff. rs. Brown came in to lay him out and she done a good job on him.

We sat in the kitchen and talked about him. I did not recognize him as the monster of the past; I was about to remind Polly of this, but when I attempted to, she gave me a little kick under the table to remind me in time of the respect owed to the dead.

I shared a room with Polly. We lay in bed that first night and talked about funerals and how they hadn known how ill He had been until He had been ook sudden.I was comforted in this strange house to be close to Polly, because below us in the parlour lay he corpse.

The great day came. Vaguely I remember now those solemn undertakers in their top hats and black coats, the plumed horses, the coffin, enuine oak with real brass fittings,as Eff proudly explained.

It was piled with flowers. Eff had given him he Gates of Heaven Ajar,which I thought a little optimistic for one of his reputationefore death, that was. Polly and I had hurried to the flower shop and bought a wreath in the shape of a harp which seemed hardly suitable either. But I was learning that death changed everything.

There was a solemn service, with Eff being supported on one side by Polly and on the other by Mr. Branley, to whom she let rooms in the house. She drooped and kept touching her eyes with a black-bordered handkerchief. I began to think that Polly had not told me the truth about Him.

There were ham sandwiches and sherry, which were taken in the parlourlinds now drawn up and looking quite different without the coffin little prim and unlived-in, but without the funereal gloom.

I learned that there was a great bond between Polly and Eff, though they might be a little critical of each otherolly of Eff for marrying Him and Eff of Polly because she had one into service.Father, Eff hinted, would never have approved of that. Mind you, Eff conceded, it was a special sort of service and Polly was almost one of the family, with that rector who never seemed to know whether he was standing on his head or his heels, and Eff admitted that I was nice little thing.

I gathered that Eff was in no financial difficulties. Polly told me that it was Eff who had kept things going in the house on the common. He hadn worked for years because of his Chest. Eff had taken lodgers. The Branleys had been with her for two years and they were more like friends than tenants. One day, of course, when the little nipper grew up they would have to consider getting a place of their own with a garden, but just now the Branleys were safe.

I realized that Eff fondness for the Branleys was largely due to he nipper.The nipper was six months old and he dribbled and bawled without reason. Eff allowed them to keep his perambulator in the hall great concession of which Father would never have approvednd Mrs. Branley would bring him down so that he could have his airing in the garden. Eff liked that; and I gathered so did Polly. When he lay in his pram Eff would find some excuse to go into the garden and gaze at him. If he were cryinghich was oftenhey would babble nonsense at him: idums want his Mumums then?or something like that, which sounded so strange on their lips, as they were both what Mrs. Janson would have called harp tongued.They were completely changed by this baby.

It occurred to me that the great lack in the lives of both Polly and Eff was a baby of their own. Babies seemed to be very desirable creaturesven Fabian had wanted one.

I remember very well an occasion two days after the funeral. Polly and I were going back to the rectory the next day. Polly had been making the most of our last day and she had taken me p West,which meant the west end of London.

We were in the kitchen. I was seated by the fire and I was so sleepy that I dozed off.

Vaguely I heard Polly say, ook at Drusilla. She half asleep already. Well, we did a bit of traipsing about, I can tell you.Then I really did doze.

I awoke suddenly. Eff and Polly were at the table, a big brown earthenware teapot between them.

Eff was saying, reckon I could take two more people in here.

don know what Father would have said, you taking in lodgers.

hey call them paying guests in the sort of place Il have. Did you know, Poll, the Martins next door are going and I reckon I could take on that place.

hatever for?

ore paying guests, of course. I reckon I could make a real business out of this, Poll.

reckon you could.

ind you need help.

hatl you do get someone to come in with you?

want somebody I know. Somebody I could trust.

ice business.

hat about you, Poll?

There was a long silence. I was quite wide awake now.

he two of us would make a regular go of this,said Eff. t would be a nice little venture. You in service well, you know Father would never have liked that.

wouldn leave Drusilla. She means a lot to me, that child.

ice little thing. No beauty but she sharp and I reckon she got a way with her.

h!said Polly.

She looked in my direction and I immediately closed my eyes.

ell, that won go on forever, Poll. I reckon sisters ought to stick together.

ell, if it wasn for her I be with you like a shot, Eff.

ou like the sound of it, do you?

like to be here. The country dead dull. I like a bit of life.

on I know that. Always did, always will. That you, Poll.

hile she wants me Il be there.

ou think about it, that all. You don want to be at the beck and call of others all your life. You was never one for that.

h, there not much of the beck and call there, Eff. He soft and she like my own.

ell, it would be a good life. The two of us working together.

t nice to know youe there, Eff.

So a new fear had come into my life. There would come a day when I would lose Polly.

olly,I said to her that night when we had retired. ou won go away from me, will you?

hat you talking about?

ou might go in with Eff.

ere! Who been listening to what she wasn meant to? Pretending to be asleep. I know. I rumbled you.

ut you won, will you, Polly?

o. Il be there as long as I wanted.

I hugged her, holding her tightly for fear she would escape from me.

It would be a long time before I forgot Eff holding out the bait of freedom to Polly.

The French Affair

The years passed and I was fourteen years old, doing much the same as I had always done. Miss York was still with me and Polly was my guide, comforter and mentor. I still paid my periodic visits to the House, but I was no longer so subservient to Lavinia. I only had to hint that I would refuse to come and she changed her hectoring ways. She had a faint respect for mehough she would never admit it. I had helped her through one or two scrapes and that gave me an advantage.

Polly and I were closer together. We had paid several visits to Eff, who now had the house next door and was doing well with her paying guests. She seemed to have grown in importance and presided over her two houses in a very gracious and genteel manner. Polly had to admit that Father would have had very little to complain of. The Branleys had gone and been replaced by the Paxtons. uch better,commented Eff. rs. Paxton always wraps her rubbish before putting it in the dustbin. Mrs. Branley never did. Though I must say I miss the nipper.So, apart from the loss of the baby, the change really was for the better.

ff 11 do well,said Polly. ll this is right up her street.

I knew that, but for me, Polly would have been with Eff, keeping all those paying guests in order and secretly laughing with Eff over their little foibles. But Polly had sworn never to leave me while I wanted her, and I trusted Polly.

Then life started to change. An architect came to the House because there was something wrong with the structure of the east wing and it had to be put right by an expert who would know how to restore it in a suitable manner. This was Mr. Rimmel, and he and Miss Etherton became very friendly. Lady Harriet was unaware of this until it had gone too far and Miss Etherton announced her engagement to Mr. Rimmel and gave notice to Lady Harriet that she would be leaving in a month to prepare for her wedding.

Lady Harriet was incensed. Apparently there had been a succession of governesses before Miss Etherton arrival and she had been the only one who had stayed. eople are so inconsiderate,said Lady Harriet. here is their gratitude? All these years she has had a good home here.

But Miss Etherton, secure in the love of Mr. Rimmel, was by no means dismayed. She was beyond Lady Harriet disapproval now.

In due course she went. Two governesses came, but neither of them stayed more than two months.

Lady Harriet then declared that it was rather absurd to employ two governesses when there were two girls virtually of the same age living so close. She had been impressed by Miss York efficiency and she saw no reason why the young woman should not teach Lavinia and me at the same time.

My father hesitated and said he would have to consult Miss York, which in due course he did. Miss York, like the two governesses whose stay at the House was brief, was not eager to undertake the education of Lavinia; but in due course, attracted by the offer of a larger salary and no doubt overwhelmed by the dominating personality of Lady Harriet, she agreed; and as a result Lavinia sometimes came to the rectory and I sometimes went to the House, where we took lessons together. Miss York, buoyed up by the knowledge that she could to some extent make her own terms, refused to take up residence at the House and insisted on regarding the rector as her employer.

So Lavinia and I did our lessons together.

I was not displeased, for the schoolroom was the scene of my triumphs. Miss York was constantly shocked by Lavinia ignorance, and though Lavinia often copied my work, and I helped her on many occasions, she was very much my inferior in the schoolroom.

I was at heart quite fond of Lavinia, though I could not understand why. Perhaps it was a feeling of familiarity, for we had known each other for so many years. She was arrogant, selfish and domineering; but I took that as a sort of challenge. I was rather flattered to find that she secretly relied on me. I think I knew her better than anyone else did; thus I became aware of a trait in her character which, without doubt, was the reason why certain things happened to her.

She was governed by a deep sensuality and she had matured early. She was a woman at fifteen, whereas I, in spite of my superior knowledge, was physically a child. She had a small waist and was always at great pains to accentuate her figure, which was showing signs of nubility. She had always been excessively proud of her gorgeous hair. She had perfect white teeth and was fond of displaying them; she would bestow her smiles right and left so that people might see and admire them, which gave a false impression of affability.

Because she had failed academically she had decided that learning was for those who lacked physical charms.

It dawned on me that Lavinia had a perpetual love affair with the opposite sex. She blossomed when men were near. She smiled and sparkledhowing her teeth and tossing her hairand was an entirely different person.

I saw Fabian now and then. He had been away, first at school, then at the university. Sometimes he came home, almost always bringing a friend with him. I would see him riding out or perhaps in the house when I was having a lesson there.

When Lavinia talked of the young men who came to the House with her brother her eyes would sparkle and she would giggle a good deal. Fabian took no notice of me, and I supposed he had forgotten that time when he had looked after me and made such a fuss when they wanted to take me away. Although it was just a child game, I had liked to think it had made a special bond between us.

A few days after my fifteenth birthday I met Dougal Carruthers. I was taking the shortcut across the churchyard to the rectory when I noticed the door of the church was open, and as I came nearer I heard the sound of footsteps on the flagstones. I thought perhaps my father was there and that he should be making his way home, as Mrs. Janson would be displeased if he were not at the table punctually for lunch. One had constantly to remind him of such matters.