The India Fan (52 page)

f she took it to court all their money and the fact that Fleur is their flesh and blood

won have it. Eff won either. They wouldn want all that dragged through the courts all about Madam Lavinia affairs in France. Course they wouldn.

or would you, Polly. You wouldn want Fleur to be faced with all that.

Polly was silent for once.

h it won get to that,she said at length.

hey are very determined and accustomed to having their own way.

ere someone who not letting them. But wee talking about you. You know you want to get that Fabian out of your mind. That other one well, it mightn be such a bad idea.

ou mean Dougal?

es, him. He a bit of a ninny, but there are the children, and you know how fond you are of them.

e were great friends really. I liked him very much. But then Lavinia appeared. She was so beautiful, Polly. I think it ruined her life in a way. She couldn resist admiration. She had to have it from everyone and in the end she died.

I found myself telling the story. It all came back to me so vividly. Roshanara the Khansamah his meetings with Lavinia in her boudoir to that last terrible scene.

he was lying on the bed, Polly. I knew what had happened. She had insulted his dignity and she paid for it in a special way. He gave her a peacock-feather fan. She thought it was because he was contrite and so enamoured of her beauty. But it was the sign of death. That what it meant. And there she lay with the bloodstained fan at her feet.

ell, I never.

ou see, Polly, there is a legend about peacocksfeathers.

They are bringers of ill fortune. You remember Miss Lucille and her fan.

do indeed. And reason to be thankful for it. I reckon it saved our Fleur life.

ut getting the jewel cost her lover his.

reckon them men would have got him at any time.

ut it was when he was taking the fan to have the jewels set in that it happened. Lucille believed it was the ill luck of the fan.

ell, she was off her rocker.

know she was unbalanced but it was due to what happened to her.

ou want to get rid of all them fancy ideas about fans.

ut it means something to them, Polly. They are a strange people. They are not like us. What seems plain common sense here is different there. Dougal found there was a legend about peacocksfeathers. The Khansamah must have believed it, for he gave Lavinia the fan and when he killed her he laid it at her feet. It was a sort of ritual.

ell, let them think what they like. A bundle of feathers is a bundle of feathers to me, and I can see anything to frighten yourself about that.

olly, I have the fan. At one time my father and others thought Dougal would ask me to marry him. They all thought it would be good for me.

e have shown a lot more sense if he had asked you, and I not sure you wouldn have shown some if you said yes. He might not be all that you want not one of them dashing heroes he might be just a timid little man but he not so bad, and you can have everything in life. Sometimes it best to take what you can get providing it all right in the main.

e didn want me when he saw Lavinia. It was as though he were bewitched. He didn see me after that. I was interested in what interested him, as my father was. He enjoyed being with us talking to us and then he saw Lavinia. He had seen her before, of course, but she was grown up and he saw her afresh. He forgot any feeling he might have had for me. You see, it a sort of pattern.

shall begin to think youe going wrong in the head. What all this got to do with fans?

think, Polly, that I shall never be happy in love because I took the fan. It was in my possession for a while. That is what Miss Lucille believed and it seems as if you see.

o, I don see,said Polly. his isn like you. I always thought you had some sense.

trange things happen in India.

ell, youe not there now. Youe in plain, sensible England, where fans are just fans and nothing else.

know youe right.

f course I right. So don let have any more of this nonsense about fans. I reckon that fan done us all a good turn. When you look at young Fleur now and think what she was like at that time it makes me tremble all over now to think of it. So youe not going to marry this Dougal?

e hasn asked me yet, Polly.

ooks like he just waiting for a shove in the right direction.

shall not do the shoving.

ell, you have a grand title, wouldn you? I never thought much of them myself, but there plenty as do.

wouldn want to marry for that, Polly.

ourse you wouldn. But he seems a nice enough fellow. All he needs is a bit of pushing and you be rather good at that. And there the children, too. Theye fond of you and they have you as their mum. I reckon that what they like.

hey probably would, but one doesn marry for that reason.

oue still thinking of that old fan. Youe thinking it going to be bad luck and nothing will go right while you have it. Here. Wait a minute. Come into the kitchen. I want to show you something. Just a minute. Il go and get it.

I went into the kitchen. It was warm, for the fire was burning. It always was, for it heated the oven and the kettle was always on the hob.

Within a few minutes Polly came in; she was carrying the case that contained the peacock-feather fan.

She took it out and unfurled it.

retty thing,she said.

Then she went to the fire and put the fan into the heart of it. The feathers were immediately alightheir deep blues mingling with the red of the flames. I gasped as I watched it disintegrate.

Nothing was left of it but the blackened frame.

I turned to her in dismay. She was looking at me half fearfully, half triumphantly. I knew she felt unsure of what my reaction would be.

olly!I stammered.

She looked a little truculent. here,she said. t gone. There no need to worry about that any more. You was getting worked up about that fan. I could see it was beginning to get a hold of you. You was expecting things to go wrong and somehow that often a way of making them. It gone now that the end of it. We make our own lives you know. It got nothing to do with a bunch of feathers.

I had been in the park with Mrs. Childers and Fleur, and as soon as we returned Polly came hurrying into the hall, Eff just behind her. Polly looked anxious. Eff excited.

Eff called, visitor for you, Drusilla.And then, in a high-pitched, overawed sort of manner, she added, n the parlour.

ho ?I began.

ou go and see,said Polly.

I went in. He was standing there, smiling, making the parlour look smaller and less prim than it usually did.

rusilla!He came to me and took my hands. He looked at me for a second or so and then he held me to him tightly. After a moment he released me, holding me slightly away from him, looking at me intently.

hy did you go?he demanded. ust when I was coming home.

I thought you would want to be with your family.

He laughed, a happy, derisive sort of laughter.

ou knew I wanted to be with you more than anyone.

I thought then: It is wonderful. I don care what happens afterwards this is wonderful now.

I began, was not sure

did not know you could be so foolish, Drusilla. You knew I was coming and you went away.

I tried to calm myself. oue come here because of Fleur. Youe come to try to take her away.

hat on Earth is the matter with you? Have you forgotten? Remember the last time we were together all those people around, when we wanted to be alone. The first thing I said when I came home was, here is Drusilla? Why isn she here with the children?And my mother told me you had come here. I said, ut I said she was to be here.I expected to find you at Framling as soon as I got back.

didn know you would want to see me.

He looked at me incredulously.

rusilla, what happened to you?he demanded.

I said slowly, e come home. Everything is different here. It seems to me now that in India I was living in a different world, where anything could happen. Here it is as it always was.

hat difference does it make where we are? We are us, aren we? We know what we want. At least I do. And I want you.

ave you thought ?

don have to think. Why are you being so aloof? It wasn like this when we were last together.

tell you it is different now. How was it in India?

haotic.

lice and Tom?

n a state of bliss a most wonderful example of the joys of married life.

I smiled. h,he said. ow you are more like yourself. What is the matter? Wee talking like strangers. Here am I come home to marry you and you behave as though we have just been introduced.

o marry me! But

ou are not going to raise objections, are you? You know my nature. I just ignore them.

hat of Lady Geraldine?

he is well, I believe.

ut your mother was arranging

rranging what?

he wedding.

ur wedding.

our marriage to Lady Geraldine. Your mother has been arranging it.

arrange my own wedding.

ut Lady Geraldine

hat has my mother said to you?

hat you were coming home to marry her.

He laughed. h, she has had that in mind for some time. She forgot to consult me, that all.

ut she will be furious.

y mother will agree with me. She always does. Though I believe I am the only one whose opinion she considers. Stop thinking about my mother and think of me. Youe not marrying her.

can believe all this.

oue not going to say, his is so sudden, sir,as so many well-brought-up ladies are supposed to.

ut, Fabian, it is sudden

should have thought it was obvious. The way we were in India have you forgotten?

forget nothing of what happened there.

e went through all that together, didn we? I blamed myself for bringing you out there. But now wee here together I think those times taught us a great deal about each other. It taught us that there was a special bond between us and it grows stronger every day. It never going to break, Drusilla. Wee together forever.

abian, I think you go too fast.

think I have gone unforgivably slowly. You are not going to refuse me, are you? You should know by now that I never take refusals. I would immediately abduct you and drag you to the altar.

o you really mean that you want to marry me?

ood Heavens! Haven I made that clear?

ou do realize it is most unsuitable.

f it suits me it has to suit everyone else.

ady Harriet would never allow it.

ady Harriet will accept what I want. She already knows. I was enraged when I came back and found you weren there. I said, am going to marry Drusilla and there will be no delay about it.

he must have been outraged.

nly mildly surprised.

I shook my head.

He said, am disappointed in you, Drusilla. Have you forgotten everything? That night you came to the house I shook my head and he went on, hat dreadful moment when I feared I might miss that I might be too late. Youe no idea what I went through. I lived a lifetime in those few seconds. Have you forgotten that trek to Bombay? I was desolate when you sailed away and I promised myself that the moment I was free of all that, we would be together and never part again. Drusilla, have you forgotten? Didn I choose you when you were a baby? hat mine,I said, and it has been like that ever since.

I felt numb with happiness, which I could not accept as real. He was holding me tightly. I felt protected against the fury of Lady Harriet, the disappointment of Lady Geraldine and the terrible fear that I would wake up and find I had been dreaming. Don think of what to come, I admonished myself. Live in the moment. This is the greatest happiness you could ever know.

He felt no such qualms. I knew, of course, that he would never have any doubts that he could have what he wanted.

o,he said, el go back. No delays. It will be the quickest wedding in Framling history. No more protests please.

f it is true. If you mean it if you really mean it, then

hen what?

hen life is wonderful.

We called in Polly and Eff and told them the news.

o you are getting married,said Polly. She was a trifle bellicose, I must admit. I saw the glint in her eyes. She was still a little uncertain whether her little ewe lamb was going to be devoured by the big, bad wolf.

He knew how she regarded him and I saw the glint of amusement in his eyes.

oon,he told her, ou shall dance at our wedding.

y dancing days are over,said Polly tersely.

ut on such an occasion they might be revived, perhaps,he suggested.

Eff eyes glistened. I could see her choosing her dress. t for a wedding, a rather special one. Sir Fabian Framling. He marrying a special friend of ours.I could hear her explaining to the tenants. ell, I suppose you call it one of them grand weddings. Polly and me, wee had our invitations. Such an old friend.

Polly was less euphoric. She didn trust any man except her Tom, and her suspicion of Fabian was too deeply rooted to be dispersed by an offer of marriage.

I could smile at her fears and be happy.

Fabian wanted to stay on in London for a few days, and then we would go back together. He had booked a room in a hotel. Eff was relieved. She had had an idea that she might have to ut him up,but she did not really think there was a vacant room in any of the houses that would be worthy of a titled gentleman, although the prestige that would come from being able to say, hen Sir Fabian was in one of my rooms would be great.

Later that day Fabian and I went to a jewellers to buy a ring. It was beautifuln emerald set in diamonds. When it was on my finger I felt happier than I ever had been in my life for the ring seemed to seal the bond and to proclaim to the world that I was to marry Fabian.

I believed I would be happy. I believed I could forget the horrible sights I had witnessed during the Mutiny. I was loved by Fabian, more deeply, more tenderly than I had ever believed possible; and somehow at the back of my mind I linked my happiness with the destruction of the peacock-feather fan.