The Importance of Being Alice (10 page)

My gaze remained on Elliott even though my conscience pricked me mightily.
You don't have the right to pry into his life,
it reminded me.
You may have gotten sweaty with him, but that doesn't mean he has to tell you his private business.

That's all well and fine in theory,
my brain argued,
but real life is different. What if he is in some sort of trouble?

If he was, you'd just make it worse,
my conscience said with a self-righteous sniff.

Haters gonna hate,
I told it, then realized I was bickering with myself, and decided that sanity demanded I stop right that instant.

“I'll just keep my eye on him,” I said softly to myself, feeling that compromise was the best way to proceed. “If he's in trouble somehow, I'll offer my help. And if he's not, then . . . well, we'll see. After all, it means I have a good excuse to spend lots of time admiring those curls. And his chest. And dear lord above, his ass.”

“It is a very nice ass,” a voice cooed beside me.

Deidre! The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

“Not that I've seen it in its natural state,” she said with a feline smile. “Yet.”

“Really?” I asked. “That's the best you've got? Oh, don't give me that faux look of surprise. We both know what you're doing. If you think a slinky walk and inappropriate touching of Elliott's chest—yes, I saw you earlier pretending to be brushing a crumb off his shirt—if you think that's going to cause any trouble, you had better think again.” I spoke with a bravado that I wasn't quite feeling, but I felt it was important to make it absolutely clear to Deidre that I was on to her nefarious plans.

“Dear, sweet Alice,” she said, patting my cheek. “You really think you stand a chance against me, don't you? The truth is that I haven't yet decided whether or not I should take Elliott away from you. I'm mulling it over.” Her eyes were hooded as she gazed at the subject of our discussion. “He's certainly not hard to look at, and I'm sure he's divine in bed, but I'm just not sure if he's sufficiently interesting to make him worth the effort.”

“He's very interesting,” I said, outraged on Elliott's behalf before I realized what I was doing. I crossed my arms over my chest. “He's also mind-numbingly fabulous in bed, so you can just suck on that.”

She pursed her lips.

“Yes, all right, that was a poor choice of phrase, but you can just take the gist of the comment, because I don't really give a damn what you decide to do about Elliott. If you want to make a fool of yourself fawning over a man who isn't interested in you, then by all means knock yourself out. Literally or metaphorically—the choice is yours.”

She tossed her head, her mane of black hair flicking back dramatically. “Thank you, dear heart. You just helped me make up my mind. You've annoyed me enough that I think I will have Elliott.” Her smile was filled with acid. “Enjoy the rest of your trip.”

“Oh, it's on now,” I said under my breath when she sauntered off. So she wanted Elliott? Well, I might not be sure I wanted him in my life on a permanent basis, or even one lasting longer than the cruise, but I certainly didn't intend on handing him over to her on a plate.

He was a nice man, and deserved better than that sort of predatory she-devil. He deserved someone who was nice, too. Someone who appreciated his dry, rather quirky sense of humor. Someone who didn't care that he lived in a castle, or might be a spy, or even that he gave the best pity kisses in the world.

He deserved me.

You don't want him,
my annoying inner self pointed out.
You are devastated, and betrayed, and all that other crap that you keep going on and on about. You're not looking for a man, any man, especially not one like Elliott,
who, despite what his mother said about that woman on Page Three, probably takes relationships seriously.

I sighed, and slowly moved toward the group. The problem was, I was beginning to think that maybe I had a lucky escape with Patrick, especially if it meant I got to meet the delightfully mysterious Elliott.

A little smile curled my lips as I came up behind him. Oh, yes, I was going to enjoy unraveling the puzzle that was Elliott. I was going to enjoy it more than I'd enjoyed anything in a very long while.

Expense Account

Item one:
forty-two euros

Remarks:
entrance to club

Item two:
eighty euros

Remarks:
room rental, plus one nipple-abusing parrot

E
lliott was aware of Alice the second her delightful scent tickled his nose. He didn't have to turn around to know she was behind him—he could detect her nearness even over the sounds and scents of thousands of visitors to the great Dom. It was almost a prickling sensation along his skin, one that made him very aware that he was a man, and she was a woman, and they had fit together extremely well earlier that morning.

There was the fact that he probably shouldn't have given in to those urges that seemed to overwhelm him whenever she was near, but she seemed quite honest in
her statement that she wasn't using him to make herself feel better about the breakup with Patrick.

“Did Tiffany run you off?” he asked without turning his head, knowing by the tightening of the skin on his back that she was very close.

“Uh . . . not so much. Laura and I were talking about how we'd rather look around on our own than be guided through.” She moved up to stand beside him, giving him a look he had a hard time putting a name to.

“Ah. I'm sorry I had to run out for a few minutes. There was a slight family issue I had to take care of.”

“Nothing wrong with your mother, I hope?” she asked.

“Not in the sense you mean, no. She is quite hale and hearty. A little too hearty for my comfort, but there is little I can do about that short of moving her to the dower house, and that's unfit for habitation at the moment. Once the work is completed on the castle, however, that is next on my list for repair.”

And he'd certainly be having a word or two with his mother about her ploy of sending Gunner out to check up on him. Just the idea that she would be investigating Alice was annoying enough, but when she coerced his own brother into meeting with him to find out what was going on, well, that was outside of enough. He'd sent Gunner on his way with a proverbial flea in his ear, and he wouldn't hesitate to do the same to his mother.

Alice took his hand, her fingers warm against his, reminding him of just how aroused those fingers had made him feel a few short hours before. “Most of the time, I'm just coasting along thinking my thinky thoughts about stuff, and then you say things like
castle
and
dower house
, and it makes me feel like I'm in a Georgette Heyer book.”

“Not Jane Austen?” he asked, smiling down at her. Lord, she was pretty. How could he ever think she was just a normal woman, one with requisite bits and pieces, but not the amazing package of femininity that he now knew her to be? “I always fancied being the dark, brooding Mr. Darcy.”

“Oh, he was definitely hunky, but while you're dark enough, and handsome enough, to be him, you don't brood.” She gave his fingers a squeeze. “Although I bet you could do the haughty lord of the manor thing pretty damn well.”

“It goes with the title,” he said in his plummiest voice. “We are required by law to cut the hoi polloi at least once a year, or the title passes to the snobbiest relation.”

“I just bet,” she said with laughter rich in her voice. “What would the people in your castle do if you started talking like that?”

“Probably drag me out to the pond and throw me in it. Or call a mental health official,” he admitted, returning to his normal voice.

“I would totally support a pond scene like the one in
Pride and Prejudice
, but only if you were stripped first.”

He slid her a glance out of the corner of his eye. She was giving him a lascivious grin that made him feel like singing at the top of his lungs. “You have a smutty mind, Alice. It's one of the many things I admire in you. Unfortunately, we are in a holy place, and although I don't particularly hold strong religious feelings, I feel it would be insulting to the caretakers of this cathedral to give in to your lustful desires and engage in sex right here and now.” He thought for a moment. “Although I have to admit it is a tempting thought. . . .”

“Good lord, you really
did
know what I was thinking.
I agree, however—we shouldn't get it on here. Maybe later, in our cabin. Or if we can find a dark alley. Or even a moderately dim one. Oh lord, there's the she-hussy. She told me she's going to steal you from me, not that you're mine to steal, but I just thought I should warn you that you're in her sights.”

He glanced to the side. Deidre was indeed moving their way, a sultry look of invitation in her eyes. “How unfortunate. Come. Let us make our escape while we can.” He took Alice's arm and steered her to a pack of tourists, weaving skillfully through the people until he found a secluded niche featuring the stone depiction of a saint. “I don't think she'll find us here, not unless she comes looking for us.”

“I wouldn't put it past her. That woman seriously wants into your pants.” A mischievous glint lit up her eyes. “Which, I have to admit, is on the top of my to-do list, as well.”

“This insatiability in you is somewhat shocking. I don't know whether to be pleased that our lovemaking was of such a high quality that you immediately want more, or if it's an indication you are one of those sex-addicted people who are never satisfied.”

Her expression went from teasing to serious in a flash. She blinked. “Oh. I'm sorry. Did I come on too strong? I'm not really one of those sex fiends—”

He wanted badly to kiss her at that moment but, mindful of their surroundings, contented himself with taking her arms in his hands and giving them a little squeeze. “I was teasing you, Alice. I know you're not a sex addict.”

“Oh, good.” She slumped in relief. “Because I was enjoying conducting highly charged sexual banter with you.”

“As was I, although if we continue along that line,
you're going to make it extremely painful for me to walk. Shall we cool down our libidos with a spot of crypt viewing?”

She glanced at her watch and scrunched up her nose in a way that reminded him of a rabbit. An adorable rabbit. “Actually, as interesting as the cathedral is, it's kind of crowded, what with Deidre likely to appear at any moment. Would you mind giving the rest of the tour a pass? I'd much rather just walk around and kind of soak in the atmosphere of Cologne. Maybe have lunch at a cute little place. That sort of thing. Does that sound too boring?”

“It sounds,” he said, turning her and giving her a gentle push toward the door, “like a much more pleasant way to spend the day than here. The ship doesn't sail until nine tonight, so we can have dinner in town, too, if you like. And yes, I will order for you.”

Elliott felt a slight twinge of guilt over the next few hours. He really should be working, not enjoying a delightful day sightseeing with Alice, but he told himself he wanted to make sure that she wasn't secretly feeling guilt about their recent intimate activities. The truth was much less altruistic; he simply enjoyed time spent with her too much to give in to the demands of his tight writing schedule.

As it was, the hours passed quickly by with his regard for Alice growing even more. She wasn't just easy on the eyes—there was a sharp, fast wit behind that pretty face, one that made him feel pleasantly off-balance. She was impulsive, to be true, and made giant leaps in logic that he didn't always follow, but even those traits, which he would consider flaws in anyone else, were oddly attractive in her.

“My feet are about ready to drop off,” she said in the late afternoon, after they had left the Jewish Museum and its attached archaeological dig. “I could really use a break, and something cool to drink. That looks like a bar. Let's go in there and rest a bit before we decide where to go for dinner, OK?”

They had turned off the main avenue onto one of the lesser side streets. Alice made a beeline for a brightly lit window through which a neon bar gently glowed. His eyes widened at the sign, and he hurried after her, trying to stop her before she entered. “That's not a bar, Alice.”

“It's not?” With one hand on the door, she peered through the window. “Sure it is. See the people sitting there? They have drinks.”

“I can guarantee you that what they are drinking contains no alcohol.” He tried to tug her away from the door, but a mulish look flitted across her face.

“How on earth can you guarantee that?”

“Because they don't allow alcohol in sex clubs.”

Her mouth dropped to form an O of astonishment. She turned to look through the window again. “Wow. It's one of the sex clubs? How come people are sitting at a bar drinking and not having wild orgies?”

“The orgies are conducted in the private rooms. They have a social area out front where you can mingle and meet someone with whom you can partner up. They make it look like a bar, but it's really not. Let's go a few streets over. I believe I spied a more suitable establishment there.”

She looked thoughtful. “Can couples go into the sex places, or do you have to pick up a partner there?”

“You can't seriously be saying you wish to go in there,” he asked, nodding toward the entrance.

“Well . . .” She made a face, then gave him a half smile. “Actually, I am. I mean, how many opportunities do you have of going to an authentic kinky German sex club? I wouldn't go by myself, but if I'm with you, then I wouldn't worry about someone trying to pull a fast move on me.”

A little devil made him say, “I assure you, my sweet little squab, if we go into that club, I will most definitely be pulling moves on you, although I can't guarantee as to the speed or lack thereof.”

Her eyes appeared to darken. He knew it was just a sexual flush, and the reaction of her pupils growing, but it had the result of making his penis stir, which in turn had him thinking that perhaps a visit to the sex club wasn't as outrageous as he first thought.

“Not many men can get away with leering at a woman while saying formal phrases like ‘lack thereof,' but boy, did you manage it. And speaking of that, you're on. So long as you don't get too wild on me. Should we have a safe word? I think we should have a safe word. What should it be?”

“Sauerkraut?” he suggested.

“Ew. Don't like. I know, Wiener schnitzel! That makes a great safe word. Can we sit at the bar first and pretend we're looking for other people?” she asked as they entered the club.

“We can, although I assumed you would wish to avoid bars.”

“Because I don't like to drink? Naw. It's never bothered me when people around me are drinking, although I will warn you that if you're going to indulge, I'm not going to enjoy kissing you a whole lot.”

He was about to ask why when the answer occurred to him. “The taste of the alcohol?”

“Yeah. You try kissing someone whose mouth tastes to you like rubbing alcohol, and see if you can keep from making a face. It's very off-putting.”

“I understand completely, and promise that if I feel the need for a drink, I'll do it when you aren't around. Not that it will be an issue at this establishment.”

He stopped at the desk and paid the (substantial) fee for a couple to use the facilities, and received in turn a sheet explaining the rules, and the prices of various theme-oriented rooms. He had to admit that he was a bit disconcerted by her desire to sit at the bar, reminding himself that although he was attracted to her,
highly
attracted to her, that didn't mean she didn't have some odd kinks that he hadn't discovered yet. Perhaps she enjoyed the idea of picking up a stranger?

She seemed to sense his concern, because she leaned into him and whispered into his ear, “Don't look so shocked, silly. I don't want a threesome or to hook up with someone; I simply want to sit because my feet hurt, and I really am thirsty. I won't be able to say ‘Wiener schnitzel' if I don't rehydrate, let alone have the strength and stamina to do anything else. Wait—are these places clean enough to do anything else? Because if it's going to be all scummy motel inside, then I'll give it a pass.”

“I've only been to one club such as this before, but it was quite clean, and judging by this lobby and the price of admission, I assume it won't give offense. Although . . .” He gave her a long look. “Forgive me, but I'm not sufficiently acquainted with you to know if you just are curious about the club, and want to see what goes on here, or whether you're so horny you are looking for a reasonable place to have what is usually called a quickie.”

She sank onto a free chair with a sigh of obvious
relief. “Can you get me a tonic and lime? No booze, just tonic water and lime. A really big one, preferably with ice, if they have it.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her until she giggled and poked him in the stomach. “Perhaps it's a little of both? Or maybe I'm just keeping my options open.”

“Hmm.” He said nothing more, just got them both drinks, his suitably nonalcoholic, and returned to the table, which was now being shared with two men.

“—and that's flattering as hell, but really, I don't think my boyfriend would be at all into that. He's not the sharing kind, and he's big, and actually, he's a lord, so he might have some sort of a pull with whatever royalty you guys have here. Or even be related to them! So thanks for asking me to be your . . . what did you call it? Pony leader? Man, I don't even know what that is, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to be it. . . . Anyway, thanks, but no thanks. Oh, hello, Elliott. This is Elliott, boys. Note his size. Note the fine definition of his bicep. Note the scowl that says he doesn't want to have a foursome. Elliott, this is Jurgen and Fritz.”

“Charmed,” he said drily, giving the two men a look that let them know they'd best take themselves off.