Chapter Twelve
Evelyn
The moment I saw Jeremy standing in the entrance of my Sunday school classroom this morning, staring at me with lust in his eyes, I knew I would lose my virginity with him that very day. And I did! We did the deed! This afternoon in the bedroom of his home! Finally! It was TOTALLY AWESOME! Why did you wait so long, you silly creature? I guess I had built it up in my mind as some horrible event to be avoided at all costs. I always thought if I let a boy penetrate me down there, it would be severely painful and bloody, his scary large penis ripping through my womb like a pack of wild, snarling dogs. It wasn’t that way at all! I was surprised at how easy and natural it was to have sex. Afterwards I didn’t think: oh my God, I’ve had sex, the world’s coming to an end, what will my parent’s think of me now, I’m so ashamed, I might as well kill myself, I’m going to burn in Hell. Instead I thought: that was fun, I’m going to do that again the first chance I get, with Jeremy, or if he’s busy, maybe with someone else I’m attracted to. Oh my God, I can’t believe I just wrote that. Of course, I’m head over heels in love with the guy, but if Jeremy can have fun with other lovers, why can’t I? Gosh, a little makeup, loosen the hair, no bra, sexy revealing clothes, pretty shoes (thank you, Jeremy), and suddenly I’m beating guys off with a stick.
When I got home late Friday night, Mom and Dad were waiting up for me, super pissed. They both screamed at me in unison for over an hour.
“Do you realize what time it is young lady? It’s after midnight! Your mother and I were worried sick about you! We nearly called the police! Where were you? Why didn’t you call us to let us know you’d be late? We were worried sick. Who were you out with? Was it a boy? Who is this boy? Have we met him? How long have you known him? Did you do anything with him that will bring shame to the family? What were you doing out with a boy until after midnight? You better come up with some answers pretty quick! We didn’t raise our daughter to become a wanton woman. That’s it! You’re grounded, young lady! Go to your room!”
Seriously? Twenty seven years old, a virgin (until a few hours ago), living in my parent’s house with a curfew, shelves of stuffed animals lining the walls like I’m still a little girl. Why did I wait so long to start my life? What was I so afraid of?
After my knock down drag out fight with my parents, I slept for nearly twelve hours, waking up at 1:30 on Saturday afternoon. I couldn’t believe I let a man I hardly know dress me in lingerie and kiss me all over my body, especially down there. And I have no regrets! After what happened today, I’m no longer this twenty seven year old virgin freak. It was delightful, not that painful or uncomfortable at all, though I had to do some convincing, in a sexy way, to get Jeremy to do it to me. When you hear, dear diary, what I did to him in the car to get him in the mood to make love to me, you’ll be amazed. Oh, why should I wait to tell you?
I GAVE JEREMY ORAL SEX! That’s right. You heard correctly. I made Jeremy have an orgasm… in my mouth. I didn’t mind doing it at all. In fact, it was fun. It’s easy for me to do it and I discovered I liked it. Jeremy seems to like having sex with me too, the way he growled each time. All three times! I guess I’m better at this sex stuff than I thought I’d be. What’s next for me? A job at Hooters? Maybe a pole dancer at that sexy bar in Gaithersburg I’ve heard everyone at church bitching and moaning about? My life’s not boring any more, at least. That’s something, right? I like giving oral sex.
Right before I woke up, I realized I was having a naughty erotic dream about being in the Harem and pleasuring Master Jeremy. I was on my hands and knees, naked, my ass arched, my breasts dangling under me, my mouth sucking on his cock and testicles, while a crowd of men stood around and watched. When I opened my eyes, I discovered I was touching myself in bed. My fingers were wet and sticky, with tiny particles of a white creamy substance on my fingertips. I actually gave myself an orgasm for the first time in my life. In fact, the lips of my vagina seem to have come out of hiding. They’re in a constant state of arousal now, offering themselves, wet and open, to be touched, licked, kissed, sucked on and entered. After twenty seven years of never touching myself, I can’t keep my hands away from my body now. All I think about now is SEX, SEX, SEX!
As soon as I woke up I got out of bed and looked in the mirror to see if what happened Friday night was just a dream. When I saw the purplish bruises Jeremy made sucking on the side of my neck, I breathed out a sigh of relief. I had not gone insane! It had actually happened. I had not just imagined my sensual awakening, I had lived it. I have no idea if God or Jesus approves. If I had to guess, I would say probably not, but I’m not sure if I care anymore. If there is a hell for sinners like me who indulge in the flesh, then I will eventually be taken down into the fiery pits, but not until I make my current existence a heaven on earth. Because now I’m going to have sex! Sex! Sex! Sex! Jeremy was right. Without judgment and fear, the Garden of Eden can be recreated, right here on Earth. And I intend to do just that.
I was thinking about Jeremy, touching myself and fantasizing about sex off and on all Saturday afternoon and evening. Every thirty minutes or so Mom kept knocking on my door and interrupting me, asking where I was until after 11:00 last night, if I was sick, if I was hungry, if I needed anything. I was starving, but I couldn’t go downstairs to get food. My neck looked like a fireworks display went off under my skin. Luckily I found an old turtleneck in the back of my closet which would cover it up.
After I put my bra on, I had this weird feeling. For the first time in my life I felt restricted and uncomfortable wearing it. The straps felt like they were digging into my shoulders. I took off the bra and tried on another, but all of them made my breasts feel like they were trapped. All my panties were too large, stretched out and ugly. I looked like my Grandmother in them. My conservative clothes and dresses were even worse.
I suddenly hated every single shred of clothes in my wardrobe now. Am I going to go through life acting like I’m already sixty years old? Did I just go through menopause? I have a cute body; at least I know someone who thinks so. Why not start showing it off?
Impulsively, I threw on the turtleneck with no bra and sweat pants and quietly tiptoed downstairs before I fainted from hunger. Luckily, Mom was doing the laundry and Dad was watching a football game, so no one saw me, thank God. I made a sandwich quickly and grabbed some snacks.
When I got back upstairs I was sweating. It was hot as hell in the house. Mom keeps the heat cranked way up during the winter. Oh well. I might as well start getting used to hell, if it exists. I punched a one-way ticket there as soon as I laid eyes on Jeremy’s handsome, virile face. I love Jeremy so much it has now officially driven me crazy. I keep thinking of climbing up to the top of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and plunging myself headfirst into the briny depths below, and on the way down shouting the name of my lover and my friend: JEREMY!
As I ate my sandwich up in my room, I thought things over. When I was a virgin I think I was right about one thing. You can’t have sex with someone and remain emotionally uninvolved. Maybe Jeremy can do it, but not me. Jeremy, if you don’t tell me you’re in love with me and want to spend the rest of your life with me, I don’t know what I’m going to do! I feel like I’m going mad. Am I? Am I going mad?
I stayed up in my bedroom Saturday night, trying to process what was happening to me and hiding from my parents. I couldn’t sleep and stayed awake all night long, thinking.
Tomorrow was trash day. So, late at night, long after I knew Mom and Dad would be asleep, I snuck down to the kitchen and took these large green trash bags back to my room. I threw out every single pair of my crappy underwear and bras and then I emptied out the rest of my closet, throwing out every piece of clothing and pair of shoes I owned. I snuck the bags outside and stuffed them in the trash containers on the curb. The next morning I heard the squealing brakes of the trash truck stop in front of our house and haul away the old version of me.
When Dad finds out I tossed out all my clothes, he’ll have me committed. I don’t care. Those clothes were picked out for me by my mom, not by me. As soon as I get paid again and save up enough tip money, I’ll buy clothes that I like. I just had to get those old clothes and clunky shoes out of my sight.
The only clothes I had left were the lingerie and shoes Jeremy bought me which I had hidden in my closet, the open-crotched panties which I was wearing, and a sexy light grey sweater dress from Express. I had impulsively bought it a few months ago with my first paycheck from TGIF as a birthday present for myself, but never had the nerve to take it out of the bag and wear it. Now I had no choice but to put it on!
When my parents see the empty closet there’ll be another shouting match, I’m sure – weeping and gnashing of teeth. They must be at their wit’s end. I was such a good little girl up until just a few days ago. Oh well, it’s time to grow up.
After I heard the trash truck pull away, I got out of bed and started to fix myself up for church. After a long hot shower, I shampooed and conditioned my hair. I washed my thong in the sink and got it as dry as I could with my blow dryer. I pulled out my Express bag and finally opened it, clapping my hands together three times like a schoolgirl when I saw it. I slipped it over my head and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked so hot in it! It fit me perfectly, showing off the natural curves of my breasts and waist where Jeremy touched and fondled me as we kissed. The hem went down just barely below my hips and stopped at my upper, upper thighs. If I bent over just a little, you can see pretty much everything that the Good Lord gave me back there, especially wearing the pencil-thin thong. Enjoy the view tomorrow, gentleman. Maybe I can single-handedly increase church attendance at the Presbyterian Church of Christ.
Also, you could see the contours of my swollen nipples and aureoles, pointing upward, jiggling and shaking with every move I made, through the thin material.
But I didn’t care about that either, anymore. Let the guys look at me. My large nipples and the puffy pink rings around them are pretty, I think, and my breasts are young and pert. When I looked at them in my bedroom mirror, they seemed a lot bigger than I thought they were and they have a nice form, now that I’ve stopped trying to cover them up. Maybe not quite as big as Cynthia’s breasts at the Harem (hers are huge) but just as big as that other girl I saw who looked like she had rings piercing through her nipples. (OK, they looked sexy and I’m a modern woman now, but that’s where I’m drawing the line.) I’ve kept my breasts hidden all my life. I want to show them off now. I’m going braless from now on. I kept looking at myself until the break of dawn, admiring my breasts and the way they looked in the mirror. I would say they are medium sized. Yes, I thought to myself, I have a nice pair of tits.
Am I allowed to start calling them that? Tits, boobs, cha-chas. Can I say those words now? Can I write bad words in my diary? Can I write the word fuck? It’s my diary. I guess I can write whatever I want. OK, let me try.
I want you to fuck me again, Jeremy. I just want to be fucked by you. Anywhere you chose, Jeremy. Any time you desire. You know I am all yours, Master Jeremy. By contract, as a slave girl in your Harem, you’re allowed to fuck me whenever and however you desire. I’d really like it if you tied me up. Can we try that? I think it would make me really aroused. Do you want to tie me up and take me from behind? I know you want to, Jeremy. Do you want to try it? Or shall I kiss you, Jeremy? I know how you like to come in my mouth. You can’t get it out of your mind, can you? So why not just give in to your desires and just do it to me. I want you to come in my mouth, Master Jeremy, again and again and again…
Dear Diary, I’m so wet and in the mood right now from all these dirty words. I’m having such naughty, nasty thoughts and no one to share them with…
I suddenly noticed it was 8:15! I threw on some makeup to cover the marks on my neck, some lipstick and eye shadow, and tried to sneak out of the house. The only problem was that I threw out all my winter coats. Spring, summer and fall ones too. Oh boy, I’m going to freeze my little ass off. Now I wish I hadn’t gone completely crazy and kept one stupid coat at least.
So I gathered my courage and quietly crept down the stairs in my supermodel dress and high heels, attempting to escape without my parents seeing me.
Unfortunately, they were ready for me this morning. When they saw me, they both stood up from the living room couch in their fluffy bathrobes like a couple of potato-shaped jailers and blocked the doorway, speaking in unison again and overlapping each other.
“Where do you think you’re going, young lady? Where’d you get that awful dress? I can see all the way up your legs. Wait. Are you wearing a bra? She’s not wearing a bra honey. What? What? She’s not wearing a bra? You’re going to church dressed like that? Have you lost your mind again? I can see your bosom, Evelyn! Go back upstairs and put on a bra, young lady? And change out of that slutty dress immediately! What’s got into you? Why are you trying to embarrass us, Evelyn? Have we not been good parents to you? Have we not given you everything you desire? You haven’t yet told us where you were Friday night and why you came home so late. Tell us the truth, Evelyn. Don’t you lie to your mother!”
I wanted to tell them, “Don’t worry Mom and Dad. I’ve become the Harem girl of a rich man named Jeremy and I’ve become sexually involved with him. I’m in love with him, Mother. Jeremy’s training me to become a sexual love slave. I will be paraded naked, oiled and chained in front of the family members of a rich Middle-Eastern sheik at a slave auction later today. If the sheik buys me for his Harem, I’ll be flown to Dubai on Tuesday to join his Harem. If I am allowed to return, I’ll come back home a very rich woman. No more waiting tables for me. Please understand, Mom and Dad, I know you’re upset, but this is what I want to do with my life.”
Instead, without raising my voice, and in a calm manner, I said, “Mom and Dad, I appreciate your concern, but I’m twenty seven now, I’m an adult, and what I choose to wear is entirely my concern. Now please stop blocking the door so I can get to church. I have to prepare my lessons for Sunday school class.”