Authors: Catherine Jinks
‘What – what do you mean, you’re supposed to be
dead
?’ he stammered. ‘Who finks you’re dead?’
‘The hospital computer system. Which is where Vee will be getting most of his information, now that I’ve been admitted.’ Cadel turned back to Devin. ‘There aren’t any CCTV cameras inside that hospital. You only pass them at the access points. And when I left, I was in disguise.’
‘As what? A body in a bag?’ Devin gave a wet snort, like someone trying to suppress a honk of laughter. ‘What is it with you?’ he said. ‘It’s like you’re in a weird action movie, with all these Marvel-comic crooks constantly on your tail. How come
you get to have all the fun, while I’m stuck down here in a basement?’
Cadel’s jaw tightened. He fixed Devin with a frosty glare, his eyes narrowing, and said, ‘I’m glad you think this is fun. Personally, I don’t enjoy seeing my friends picked off like clay pigeons.’
‘Yeah, yeah. Whatever.’ Flapping a careless hand, Devin focused his attention on Gazo. ‘So if you’re leaving now, can I get a lift? Or am I not meant to be associating with a member of the Cadel Piggott support group, these days? Seeing as how you’ve all got big fat targets painted on your butts.’
Before Gazo could even open his mouth, Cadel jumped in.
‘Cadel Greeniaus,’ he snapped.
‘Huh?’
‘It’s not Piggott, it’s Greeniaus,’ said Cadel. Then he picked up a novelty Star Wars pen and began to scribble his message to Sonja on the back of an instruction book.
Cadel was having a nightmare. In it, he was walking down a hospital corridor, past one dimly lit room after another. The patients in these rooms were all people he had known at the Axis Institute, and most were badly injured. Clive Slaughter, for example, was burned to a crisp. Abraham Coggins lay bleeding from every pore. Jemima had a fractured skull. Doris was missing part of her face. Adolf had been blown to pieces, all of which had been loosely stitched back together and tucked into a hospital bed.
Though Adolf’s tongue was now in tatters, it still worked. He was begging Cadel to get him out – and he wasn’t the only one. Hisses and croaks and whimpers followed Cadel down the corridor, as he tried desperately to escape. But the corridor opened into another corridor, and then another, and another, until suddenly he hit a dead end.
When he turned around, Prosper English was blocking his path. Prosper wore a tweedy jacket and a wolfish grin. ‘Come with me,’ he said, crooking one bony finger. ‘I’ll show you the way.’
Behind him, some of the patients were crawling out of their rooms: blackened Clive, bleeding Abraham, reconstituted Adolf. ‘Cadel,’ they were groaning. ‘Cadel … Cadel …’
‘
CADEL!
’
Cadel woke with a start. He was lying on his stomach, and someone was prodding his shoulder. The watch on his wrist said 13:42.
Twisting around, he saw that the shoulder-prodder was a plump, red-haired girl in an apple-green suit. Her legs were clad in white stockings, and her feet in a pair of low-heeled brown pumps. According to the embroidered tag on her breast pocket, she worked for C & P Real Estate, and her name was Sandra.
But it wasn’t. Not really. Because when Cadel studied her face, he recognised her small dark eyes and her piercings. Though he was used to seeing her dressed all in black, without the wig or the green eye shadow, he still knew who she was.
‘Lexi?’ he mumbled.
‘Sur
pri-ise!
’ She dropped onto the mattress beside him, then planted a firm, wet kiss on his brow. ‘Bet you weren’t expecting me!’
Cadel wiped his forehead. He felt dazed and disoriented. ‘It’s not night-time, is it?’ he asked, sitting up.
Lexi giggled.
‘No one’s going to report me for trespassing, don’t worry,’ she said. ‘This is the perfect disguise.’ She glanced down at herself with a grimace. ‘It’s gross, but it’s perfect. I borrowed it from a friend.’
‘So – so you’re not an estate agent?’ Cadel stammered.
‘Are you kidding? As
if
!’
‘She brought her friend’s car with her,’ Devin interjected. He was sprawled across his beanbag. ‘It’s green, like the suit.’
‘It’s a company car,’ Lexi explained, correcting him. ‘It’s got “C & P” on the door. I parked it right out front, like I’ve got nothing to hide.’ She beamed at Cadel. ‘Aren’t I clever? I couldn’t wait around till dark, I was
dying
to see you. You haven’t changed a
bit
– my God, you’re still wearing that crap fleece hoodie …’
‘Can you help me with some decoding?’ Cadel’s muzzy head was beginning to clear. It occurred to him that he had spent half a day sleeping, and that he shouldn’t waste yet more time beating around the bush. ‘I’ve got a couple of things off a computer that tried to self-destruct, and a lot of it’s just wreckage,’ he explained, getting straight to the point. ‘But I’m pretty sure
there’s uncorrupted text in there – and I can’t ask Sonja, because she’s in hospital.’
‘Oh, is she?’ Lexi didn’t sound terribly concerned. ‘I suppose she’s in and out of hospital all the time, being spastic and everything. Best place for her, probably.’ As Cadel opened his mouth to protest, Lexi ploughed on, oblivious. ‘But what’s this about you being in hospital?’ she said. ‘Devin was talking about Prosper English, and CCTV cameras – I couldn’t understand
one single word
.’
‘That’s because you’re thick,’ Devin growled.
‘No, it’s because
you’re
thick,’ Lexi retorted. ‘You’re like an ape, or something. Monosyllabic.’
‘At least I don’t have verbal diarrhoea. At least it’s not blahblah-blah all day long.’
‘Just because you don’t have any friends to talk to –’
‘Hey,’ Cadel interposed. He knew that if he didn’t step in, the twins would start to throw things at each other. ‘Can we not waste time arguing? Please? I’ve got enough to worry about.’
‘Aww,’ said Devin, sarcastically. ‘Izza poor liddle baby gunna cry?’
Lexi was more sympathetic. She draped a pudgy arm around Cadel’s neck; the smell of her perfume was almost suffocating.
‘You don’t have to worry any more,’ she cooed. ‘I’m here now, and I even brought lunch, so you won’t get food poisoning from Devin’s leftovers.’
‘Says the person who once tried to feed us hot-dog soup!’ her brother yelped. ‘Says the person who’s had maggots in her breadbin!’
‘You wouldn’t know a breadbin if you fell into one,’ Lexi scoffed. ‘You wouldn’t know a
fork
if it came up and introduced itself!’
‘Would you two just
stop it
?’ Cadel staggered to his feet, shrugging off Lexi’s arm. ‘I don’t have time for this. Prosper’s trying to kill me. If you want to fight, then do me a favour and go somewhere else. I don’t need the distraction.’ He suddenly
spotted an unfamiliar computer bag. It was pink, and had badges all over it. ‘Is that your laptop?’ he asked Lexi.
‘Yes.’
‘So you’re going to stay and help?’
‘Of course I am!’ Her tone was impatient. ‘I went to a lot of trouble, you know! Did you think I was just going to blow you a kiss and bugger off again?’
Cadel mumbled his thanks. Though grateful, he was also feeling a bit overwhelmed. It had been a long time since his last meeting with Lexi, and he had forgotten how exhausting she could be. She was always shrieking and bouncing around, intruding on people’s conversations and personal space. What’s more, she seemed to regard Cadel as a cross between a pet and a pin-up. He was constantly having to peel her off him, and that could get quite irritating, after a while.
‘If you stay here,’ he said, ‘Devin will have to go.’ As Devin opened his mouth to object, Cadel quickly elaborated. ‘I don’t mean that you can’t be in the same room together. I just mean that a real estate agent wouldn’t be staying here for hours and hours. A plumber might, but not an estate agent.’
Devin swallowed. ‘So you’re saying –’
‘That you’ll have to leave in the green car. Wearing the green clothes,’ Cadel confirmed. ‘That’s if you can drive, of course.’
Lexi snickered. Her brother scowled.
‘I’m not dressing up in that,’ he said, glaring at her suit and stockings. ‘No way.’
‘If you don’t, someone might get suspicious,’ Cadel pointed out.
‘I don’t care.’
‘You mean you
want
the police to come poking around?’ Lexi demanded. ‘Because they will, Devin. Cadel’s right. If that car stays outside for more than an hour, someone’s going to think I’ve fallen downstairs and broken my neck.’
‘Then you shouldn’t have left it there!’ Devin raged. ‘This is all
your
fault, you idiot! You should have waited till tonight! I
told
you to come at night! Why don’t you ever listen to me?’
‘Because you’re not worth listening to, that’s why!’ Lexi was on her feet by this time, and so was her brother. But Cadel stepped between them.
‘Stop,’ he snapped.
‘But –’
‘
Shut up!
’ He turned on Devin, his eyes narrowed, his face white. ‘Two of the people closest to me are in hospital. My home has been flattened. I’ve become a target for every bus and traffic light and CCTV camera in the country. Do you think I’m going to put up with this kind of
crap
?’
‘Hey,’ said Devin. ‘I’m doing you a favour –’
‘Oh, really? How? Since when did this basement belong to you?’ Before Devin could respond, Cadel launched into a rapidfire harangue. ‘Somebody’s got to leave right now. And if Lexi does it, then I’ll have to go with her, because I need her help. Which means that she’ll become a target. Do you
want
her to become a target?’
‘Of course he does,’ Lexi spat, offending her brother greatly.
‘That’s a lie!’ he exclaimed, flushing. ‘You always act like I’m some kinda monster, and I’m not!’
‘Then get into those clothes and make yourself scarce for a few hours.’ Cadel gestured at Lexi’s disguise. ‘The wig, as well. You can come back as soon as it gets dark, and then Lexi can go.’
‘But what am I supposed to do?’ Devin whined.
‘How should I know? Whatever you normally do. Shoplift. Wardrive. Whatever.’ Struck by a sudden, disturbing thought, Cadel appealed to Lexi. ‘You
can
fit into his clothes, can’t you?’
Thankfully, she could. Devin’s clothes had always been several sizes too big for him, even before he’d lost weight; Lexi was able to squeeze into his sweatshirt and camouflage pants without too much trouble, while her twin brother donned her Sandra disguise. Then she plastered Devin with make-up, gave him her keys, and told him to leave via the front door. ‘That’s how I came in,’ she said, as he tottered towards the lift in her conservative brown shoes. ‘I just used my old keys – it’s weird they didn’t change the locks after Genius Squad tanked. Too cheap, I suppose.’
Cadel didn’t comment. He was already plugged into the Net, trawling through hospital computer systems. Sonja’s records showed that she had been discharged that very morning. Saul’s details, though scanty, were reassuring; at least he wasn’t dead. Cadel, on the other hand, was still as dead as a dodo. That’s what it said online, at any rate.
He wondered if Vee would believe it.
‘So aren’t you going to have lunch?’ Lexi inquired, after the lift doors had closed on her brother. ‘I brought a whole bunch of salad rolls. You can have ham salad, chicken salad or egg salad.’
‘Whatever you prefer,’ said Cadel, absentmindedly. He was staring at the screen of his laptop, which he’d placed on Devin’s desk. Not that Devin had actually moved any furniture into the basement. His desk was an old wooden door supported by four plastic milk crates, and for a chair he was using another milk crate, topped by two silk cushions. ‘Do you want to have a look at this?’ Cadel asked. ‘It’s the encoded stuff I was talking about. I’m pretty sure it’s email-related, but it’s got me stumped.’
‘Where’d it come from?’ said Lexi, moving over to peer at the screen.
Cadel told her. He gave her a quick summary of the past week’s events as he consumed a chicken salad sandwich. Then, having transferred the relevant files to Lexi’s machine, he left her to tackle the salvaged mystery texts while he explored Com’s CCTV bug. Somewhere, buried deep inside it, there had to be a clue. A mistake. A chink in Vee’s armour. Cadel was determined to pin down his cyber-nemesis, even if it took days and days. He promised himself that he wouldn’t leave Clearview House until he had a real-world location for Dr Vee.
But Vee was clever when it came to covering his tracks. By early evening, Cadel was still floundering about in dense thickets of computer code, with no promising pathway in sight. He had nothing to show for nearly five solid hours of work. It was unbearably frustrating – and mortifying, too. Was he that inept? Had he met his match? Did Vee really outclass him?
I have to start thinking more like Vee
, he decided.
Vee doesn’t recognise any restraints or boundaries, so it gives him an edge. His thinking might be messy, but it’s also left-field and lateral
.
Then Lexi cried, ‘Gotcha!’, and Cadel jumped in his seat.
He’d been concentrating so hard that he had forgotten about Lexi, despite the fact that she was noisy and restless even when focused on an absorbing task. She would shift and mutter and sigh, sometimes cursing under her breath, sometimes twanging a rubber band between her fingers. Having made no secret of the fact that she would have preferred a more comfortable place to sit than Devin’s beanbag, she’d been wiggling about like a worm on a hook. The crunch of beans had become so annoying that Cadel blocked it out, using his extremely efficient mental earplugs.
But this sudden yell pierced the cone of silence he’d constructed for himself.
‘God, Lexi!’ he remonstrated. ‘You almost gave me a heart attack!’
‘I’ve got it.’ She thrust her computer at him. ‘I’ve got the key.’
‘Really?’
‘Wasn’t too hard,’ she crowed. ‘Guy’s an amateur.’
Cadel ignored this veiled attack on his own competence.
‘If you’ve got the key,’ he said, ‘I can set up a decoding program. It wouldn’t take too long.’
‘Wouldn’t take too long to do it manually, either,’ Lexi rejoined, with a shrug. ‘It’s that
basic
.’