The Four of Hearts (19 page)

‘No self-respecting fortune-teller would tolerate the salmagundi of which that yellow code sheet is the recipe.'

‘Come again?'

‘I've been delving into the occult art. The little I've read convinces me that those cards simply couldn't have been sent by a professional fortune-teller, or even by one who knew much about fortune-telling.'

‘You mean those meanings for each card were just made up.'

‘Oh, the meanings are authentic enough, one by one. The only liberty the poisoner took that I could find was in the meaning of the nine of clubs, which in one system of divination means “warning”. Our friend Egbert improved that; he made it “last warning”. Otherwise, the meanings can be found in any work on the subject.

‘The trouble is that the ones on the yellow sheet represent a haphazard mixture of meanings from a number of
different
systems – there are lots of them, you know. Some from the fifty-two card system, some from the thirty-two, one from the so-called “tableau of 21” system; and so on. Also, no account is taken of the different meanings for upright cards as against reversed; there's no mention of specific method such as Incantation, Oracle, Old English, Romany, Witch, Gipsy; or of specific arrangement, such as Rows of Nine, Lover's Tableau, Lucky Horseshoe, Pyramid, Wheel of Fortune. Also, the tearing of a card in two to reverse its meaning – absolute innovation on the part of friend Egbert; can't find it mentioned anywhere. Also –'

‘For God's sake, I've had enough hocus-pocus!' cried the Inspector, seizing his head.

‘I trust,' said Ellery, ‘I've made my point?'

‘The whole damned thing,' groaned Glücke, ‘adds up to one beautiful headache.'

‘La vie,'
said Ellery philosophically, and he strolled out.

He made straight for the Hollywood hills, like a faithful homing-pigeon. The very sight of the white frame house calmed his ruffled spirit and laid a blanket over his tossing thoughts.

Paula kept him cooling his heels for twenty minutes, succeeding admirably in undoing all the good work achieved by her house.

‘You can't do that to me,' he said in reproach, when her secretary sent him in. He devoured her with his eyes. She was gowned in something svelte and clinging; she looked delectable. Remarkable how every time he saw her he discovered something new to admire! Her left eyelid, now; there was a tiny mole on it. Simply adorable. Gave her eyes interest, character. He seized her hands.

‘Can't do what to you?' Paula murmured.

‘Keep me waiting. Paula, you look so tasty I could eat you.'

‘Cannibal.' She laughed, squeezing his hands. ‘What can you expect if you don't tell a lady in advance you're coming?'

‘What difference does that make?'

‘Difference! Are you really as stupid as you sound? Don't you know that every woman looks forward to an excuse to change her dress?'

‘Oh, that. You don't have to primp for me.'

‘I'm
not
primping for you! This is one of my oldest rags –'

‘The ancient plaint. And you're using lipstick. I don't like lipstick.'

‘
Mr.
Queen! I'll bet you still wear long underwear.'

‘A woman's lips are infinitely more attractive in their natural state.' He pulled her towards him.

‘Well, it stays on,' said Paula hurriedly, backing away. ‘Oh, you infuriate me! I always say to myself I'm going to be as cool and remote as a queen with you, and you always manage to make me feel like a silly little girl on her first date. Sit down, you beast, and tell me why you've come.'

‘To see you,' said Ellery tenderly.

‘Don't give me
that.
You never had a decent, honest, uncomplicated impulse in your life. What is it this time?'

‘Uh … there
was
a little matter of an item in your column today. I mean, about those letters –'

‘I knew it! You are a beast.'

‘You don't begin to fathom how true that is.'

‘You're not even polite. You might lie about it, just once. Make me think you've come for no other reason than to see me.'

‘But that is the reason. In fact,' said Ellery, brightening, ‘the letter business was just an excuse. That's what it was, an excuse.'

She sniffed.
‘You
needing an excuse for anything!'

‘Paula, did I ever tell you how beautiful you are? You're the woman I've dreamed about since the days when I mooned over movie actresses. The perfect supplement to my soul. I think –'

‘You think?' she breathed.

Ellery ran his finger under his collar. ‘I think it's warm in here.'

‘Oh.'

‘Warm in here, all right. Where are your cigarettes? Ah. My brand, too. You're a jewel.' He nervously lit a cigarette.

‘You were about to say?'

‘I was about to say? Oh, yes. That item in your column about the letters to Blythe.'

‘Oh,' she said again.

‘Where'd you dig up that nugget?'

She sighed. ‘Nothing up my sleeve. One of my informants was told about your visit to International Mailers, Inc., by a friend of a friend of your friend Mr. Lucey. And so it got to me, as almost everything that happens in this town does. I put two and two together –'

‘And got three.'

‘Oh, no, a cool and accurate four. The description was too, too perfect. A lean and hungry galoot with a rapacious glint in his eye. Beside, you left your name.' She eyed him curiously. ‘What's it all about?'

He told her. She listened in a perfect quiet. When he had finished she reached for a cigarette. He held a match to it and she thanked him with a glance. Then she frowned into space.

‘It's a frame-up, of course. But why did you ask me to keep peppering away in my column at the Ty-Bonnie feud?'

‘Don't you know?'

‘If Bonnie's in danger, it seems to me that Ty, being innocent …' She stopped. ‘Look here, Ellery Queen, you've got something up your sleeve!'

‘No, no,' said Ellery hastily.

‘You just told me yourself you've done everything short of kidnapping to keep those two apart. Why?'

‘A – whim. At any rate, if I must say so myself, I think I've done it very well.'

‘Oh, have you? Well, I don't know why you've done it, but I
don't
think you've done it well, Mister.'

‘Eh?'

‘You've handled that part of it very badly.'

Ellery regarded her with some annoyance. ‘I have, have I? Tell me, my omniscient Minerva, how you would have handled it?'

She gazed at him, her beautiful eyes mocking. ‘How true to type,' she murmured. ‘Such magnificent sarcasm, arising from such magnificent egoism. The great man himself condescending to listen to a mere layman. And a woman, at that. Oh, Ellery, sometimes I think you're either the smartest man in the world or the dumbest!'

Ellery's cheeks took on a strong reddish cast. ‘That's not fair,' he said angrily. ‘I admit I've been a good deal of an ass in my conduct towards you, but as far as the Ty-Bonnie situation is concerned –'

‘You've been even more of an ass, darling.'

‘Damn it all,' cried Ellery, springing to his feet, ‘where? How? You're the most exasperating female I've ever known!'

‘In the first place, Mr. Queen,' smiled Paula, ‘don't shout at me.'

‘Sorry! But –'

‘In the second place, you should have asked my advice, confided in me –'

‘In you?' said Ellery bitterly. ‘When you could have cleared up that business of the mess at the airport so easily?'

‘That was different. A question of professional ethics –'

‘There's woman's logic for you! That was different, she says. Let me tell you, Paula, it was precisely the same in principle. Besides, why should I confide in you? What reason have I to believe –' He stopped very suddenly.

‘For that,' said Paula with a glint in her eye, ‘you'll suffer. No, I think I'll give you the benefit of my wisdom after all. It may reduce the swelling above your ears. You bungled that Ty-Bonnie situation because you don't know women.'

‘What has that to do with it?'

‘Well, Bonnie's very much the woman, and from what you've told me about the exact nature of your lies and her reaction to them … Mr. Queen, you are due to get the surprise of your life, I think very shortly.'

‘
I
think,' said Mr. Queen nastily, ‘you're talking through your hat.'

‘Brr! don't we look mean! Smile, darling. Come, come. You look as if you wanted to eat me up, all right – but not from amorous motives.'

‘Paula,' said Mr. Queen through his teeth, ‘I can stand just so much and no more. You need a lesson. Even the rat stands and fights at last.'

‘Such a humble metaphor!'

‘Paula,' thundered Mr. Queen, ‘I challenge you!'

‘My, how formal,' smiled Paula. ‘Touch a man's vanity and you send it screaming into the night. Challenge me to what?'

Mr. Queen seated himself again, smiling a wintry smile. ‘To tell me who killed Jack Royle and Blythe Stuart.' Nevertheless, his eyes were curiously intent.

She raised her brows. ‘Don't you know – you, who know everything?'

‘I asked
you.
Have you figured it out?'

‘How tedious.' She wrinkled her little nose. ‘Oh, I imagine I could guess if I wanted to.'

‘Guess.' Ellery sneered. ‘Of course, it wouldn't stand to reason. I mean, that's the point. A woman doesn't reason. She guesses.'

‘And you, you great big powerful man, you've arrived at it by simply herculean efforts of the mind, haven't you?'

‘Who is it?' said Ellery.

‘You tell me first.'

‘Good lord, Paula, you sound like Fanny Brice doing Baby Snooks!'

‘Why should I trust you?' murmured Paula. ‘You'd only claim it was your guess, too. Only you wouldn't use the word “guess”. You'd say “ratiocination”, or something like that.'

‘But for Pete's sake,' said Ellery irritably, ‘I
don't
do these things by guesswork. It's a science with me!'

‘Nothing doing.' Again mockery. ‘You write your name down – the name you've guessed – and I'll do the same, and we'll exchange papers.'

‘Very well,' groaned Ellery. ‘You've disrupted my whole intellectual life. It's childish, but you've got to be taught that lesson I mentioned.'

Paula laughed, and procured two sheets of stationery, and gave him a pencil, and turned her back and wrote something quickly on her paper. Ellery hesitated. Then, with heavy strokes, he wrote a name, too. His eyes were veiled as she turned round.

‘Wait,' said Ellery. ‘I have an improvement to suggest. Get two envelopes.'

She looked perplexed, but obeyed.

‘Put yours in that envelope, and I'll put mine in this.'

‘But why?'

‘Do as I say.'

She shrugged and sealed the envelope over her sheet. Ellery did likewise. Then he stowed her envelope away in his wallet and handed his envelope to her.

‘Not to be opened,' he said grimly, ‘until our friend's ears are pinned back.'

She laughed again. ‘Then I'm afraid they'll never be opened.'

‘Why?'

‘Because,' said Paula, ‘the criminal will never be caught.'

‘Is that so?' said Ellery softly.

‘Oh, I know it's so,' murmured Paula.

They looked at each other for a long time in silence. The mockery in her eyes had deepened.

‘And what makes you so sure?' asked Ellery at last.

‘No proof. Not a shred of evidence you could take into court. Unless you've been holding out on me.'

‘If I snap the trap,' said Ellery with bright eyes, ‘on friend Egbert, will you admit you were wrong?'

‘That would prove me wrong, wouldn't it?' she murmured. ‘But you won't.'

‘Willing to stake something on that?'

‘Certainly. If you'll assure me,' she looked at him through her long lashes, ‘you've got no evidence at this moment.'

‘I haven't.'

‘Then I can't lose – unless the creature goes completely haywire and confesses for no reason at all.'

‘I have an idea,' said Ellery, ‘this creature won't do any such thing. You'll bet, eh?'

‘Anything you say.'

‘Anything?'

She lowered her lashes. ‘Well … that's a broad term. Anything within reason.'

‘Would it be reasonable,' murmured Ellery, ‘to make the loser take the winner out to the Horseshoe Club?'

Once before he had seen that terrified glimmer in her eyes. It almost made him contrite. But not quite. And then it passed very quickly.

‘No guts,' jeered Ellery. ‘If that disgusting term may be applied to a lady's anatomy. Well, I knew you wouldn't.'

‘I didn't … say … I wouldn't.'

‘Then it's a bet!'

She began to laugh softly. ‘Anyway, there's not the slightest danger of winning.'

‘Either a bet's a bet, or it isn't.'

‘And either a bet has two hazards, or it's no bet either. What are
you
giving up if you lose, as you will?'

‘Probably my …'

Something new leaped into Paula's eyes, and it was not terror. ‘Your what?' she asked swiftly.

‘Uh –'

‘What were you going to say?'

‘You know, Paula,' said Ellery, avoiding her eager gaze, ‘I really have you to thank for my solution of this case.'

‘But you were about to say –'

‘You were the one who supplied me with the vital clues.' His tone dried out and became impersonal. ‘The two vital clues.'

‘Ellery Queen, I could shake you! Who cares about that?'

‘Consequently,' said Ellery in the same dry way, ‘I'll be grateful to you for those tips all my life.