The Forest of Adventures (#1 of The Knight Trilogy) (6 page)

Suddenly it was me that was
gloomy.

9. STORM

By the time I left Daisy it was
already getting dark and as had been the pattern over the last
week, great lead coloured clouds had gathered over the course of
the afternoon. I made a mental note to add climate change to my
already lengthy worry list.

I stood waiting for the bus,
regretting the decision not to have put on a cardigan as well as my
jacket. The hospital, being a good hour away, involved two
depressing bus changes which gave me ample opportunity to think
about how pointless the evening journey was going to be and how
absurd it was to make a two hour round trip to see an empty human
shell. The nurses were always really kind, making it all seem
natural and worth the effort. As if they could sense my feelings of
pointlessness, they would never fail in telling me how important
and special my visits were, seemingly convinced that somehow I held
the key to Sam’s recovery. They might not have been quite so jolly
if they’d known that it was probably because of me that Sam was in
the state he was in. What they also didn’t realise was that far
from encouraging me, it gave me a weight of responsibility that was
suffocating to the point of almost being unbearable.

As always, the bus was running
late. The first few drops of oversized rain had already started to
fall and at that moment I’d never felt so entirely and wholly
miserable. I closed my eyes waiting for time to stop and offering
up a general sky-bound plea for the bus to arrive before the sky
fully opened up. So it was with surprise that when I opened them, a
black Volkswagen Polo had pulled up to the pavement and somebody
was shouting something out to me. It took me a moment to realise
that the driver was Blake.

“Do you need a lift? It’s about
to pour it down.”

Right on queue, the heaven’s
opened and the rain poured. I could hardly hear Blake and found I
had to shout ridiculously loud for him to hear me, “No thanks, I’m
fine. The bus will be here in a minute.”

“Are you going to the
hospital?” I nodded in response. “Get in! I’m on my way to Truro to
make a delivery. Vivien’s got me running errands.”

I began to protest but I was
already feeling the wet seep through the sleeve of my velvet
jacket. I opened the door, got in and settled into the comfort of
the tan leather seat.

“I’ve got to drive right past
the hospital. I’ll drop you off and then swing by and pick you up
on the way back. How does that sound?”

“Thanks. That would be
good.”

“No problem! What else is a
knight in a shining Volkswagen good for?” He flashed a smile.

I snuggled down into the seat,
relishing the warmth of the car and the smell of the leather. I was
grateful for Blake’s ability to remain silent without feeling the
need to fill the space with small talk. He drove with one hand on
the wheel the other resting on the window. Driving seemed natural
to him but far from being able to relax, I was unsettled by Blake’s
stunning and awesome beauty. It was effortless and raw and he
seemed completely oblivious to it. I wondered if he could hear the
beat of my heart drowning out the thunder.

Like every other time I’d seen
him, he emitted a quiet and old world wealth, wearing dark jeans
and a plain white Oxford shirt which was beautifully fitted. His
sleeves were rolled up and his arms were well defined, full of
muscle and I guessed he was a keen sportsman. The stretch of his
forearm was broken up with a simple gold-cased watch strapped with
black leather. It was old, an antique, like the purple enamel
signet ring he wore on his right ring finger and it had the look of
a very old family heirloom.

“So is Vivien your mother?” I
broke the silence with a question that immediately I wished I
hadn’t, “Sorry, that’s none of my business, mouth before
brain.”

He turned and smiled at me,
before fixing his stare back onto the road.

“It’s fine. Vivien’s kind of my
mother. I suppose the easiest way to describe her is that she’s my
adoptive mother, she’s all I know of one.” He didn’t expand his
explanation and I had the feeling that maybe I had reminded him of
something painful. “Mina, you must feel free to ask me whatever you
like, there’s nothing about my life that’s a secret to
you
.”

His comment was spoken with a
strange emphasis and I wondered if it wasn’t secret to me, then who
was it secret to?

The rain was falling so heavily
that the windscreen wipers could barely keep up. Their metronomic
movement and the heat of the car lulled me into the deepest and
most peaceful sleep I’d had in over a month and I woke twenty
minutes later just as Blake was pulling into the hospital car
park.

Before I could get out, Blake
leant over into the back of the car and grabbed an umbrella from
the backseat. His movement left a cloud of his scent that reminded
me of sandalwood and the granite of the sea cliffs. There was
something about that smell that made me weak, made me tremble
against reason. I dashed out of the car frightened of the effect he
had on me. By the time I’d made it to the door and turned round,
he’d gone.

It was peak visiting time and
the hospital entrance was busy with anxiety ridden, harassed and
tired relatives making their dutiful visits after long days at
work. It drained the last reserves of spirit in me.

Whenever I walked into Sam’s
room, I was struck by the same feeling of walking into a vacuum.
Nothing in the room changed; time stood still. Sam was neatly laid
out; the hospital blankets tucked in tight creating a ghostly
relief, one very much like a corpse. I’d follow the same pattern;
walk in and stand at the bottom of his bed, pick up his notes, just
for something to do more than out of any ability to decipher them
and then I’d search my brain for something to say. It seemed
ridiculous talking to Sam like this.

I moved to the side of his bed
and let my finger trace the top of his hand. For some reason I
expected it to feel cold but it was surprisingly warm, giving the
impression that he was only sleeping and could be woken with a
simple kiss; just like in the fairytales.

I began to talk, my voice
cracking at first. I told him about the daffodils in the garden and
how I was convinced that there was a pair of blue tits nesting in
the conifer by the gate. I told him about Uncle Josef and Gerard
with their plans to buy an apartment in France. I told him about
the situation with Daisy and how cross I was with her; all of this
chatter and not a flicker. Not a blink. I stopped talking. A
feeling of frustration spread inside of me and it made me
frighteningly angry.

Even though I knew Sam couldn’t
help it, even though I knew he was sick and it was the victim of a
terrible accident, this wicked, evil part of me blamed him for
being like he was, as if he were purposefully punishing me. I
stepped outside, no longer able to bear the room and its constant
brain-beating beep of the heart monitor. I stood outside his room,
hands on knees, head bent as if I’d been winded and needed to get
my breath back. I knew I was selfish - I was human. A familiar
nurse stopped in her tracks to ask if I was okay and mention that
the consultant wanted to see me. My heart pounded and the feeling
of anger began to shift to one of panic as I imagined they were
going to tell me that they were going to end it.
That’ll teach
you!

“Please follow me. Let’s find
somewhere more private for you both to talk.”

It was the same doctor that had
spoken to me on the night Sam was admitted. Dr. Morris was a pretty
woman but obviously tired and stressed. She had a large diamond on
her left ring finger. We exchanged the basics before she got down
to her real reason for wanting to see me,

“We were wondering if you could
tell us a little bit about Sam’s father, it’s just that he’s only
visited Sam twice since he was admitted and on both of those
occasions the nurses had a concerned that maybe he was under the
influence.” She was embarrassed, unsure of how the family dynamics
worked; afraid of insulting me.

“They were probably right. He’s
a drunk,” I said.

“I see.” She flashed a
practiced smile of sympathy. “It’s just that we have to make some
decisions about how we proceed with Sam and really his next of kin
needs to be involved in those discussions. I understand that you’re
engaged and this is hard for you but unfortunately when it comes to
the kind of decisions that have to be made you’re not currently in
a position to decide.”

“Oh my god! You want to turn
off the machines. You want to let him die?”

“No, not at all, we just need
to talk about matters of long term care.”

‘
Long term care’.
A
great weight inside me suddenly plunged as if I’d gone over the top
of a roller coaster. With those three little worlds I was told all
I needed to know. They didn’t think Sam was ever going to get
better. We were both going to be here forever, frozen in time. It
was always going to be a snowy January Friday; the Friday he saw me
walk out of his life with another boy.

The pretty young Doctor Morris
uncrossed and re-crossed her legs adjusting herself to say
something difficult, “Is there anybody else in Sam’s life that we
should know about?”

I nodded, signalling no,
confused by what she was driving at.

“It’s just that there’s been a
woman calling in on Sam every night. She visits ten minutes before
the end of visiting time and her behaviour seems to suggest she
knows Sam well. Every time a member of staff goes to approach her
she slips away before they can reach her. We were wondering if you
knew who this woman was?”

My head spun. I couldn’t get
hold of any sensible thought. Sam’s mother was dead. There was
nobody else in Sam’s world apart from Mum and me.

“I’m sorry; I’ve clearly caused
you a level of distress I hadn’t meant too. I hope you understand
why it is that I had to ask you. Is there any possibility at all
that this woman is a relative of Sam’s?”

“No! His mother’s dead. She
died when he was born. There isn’t anybody else. I don’t
understand.”

“I’m afraid we don’t either.”
She smiled and left the room, placing a hand on my shoulder as she
passed me. At the door she stopped, turned her head, “I’m sorry to
give you more pain Mina.”

I looked down at my watch.
Blake would be outside waiting to collect me in less than ten
minutes. It left me just enough time to call in and say goodbye to
Sam. I gathered myself together and headed towards his room.

The corridor was dimly lit, a
sign that the hospital was winding down towards the night shift. It
gave the hospital an eerie feeling and made me feel like a
somnambulist. A warm yellow glow flooded out of Sam’s room
indicating that the door was open. Sudden dread filled me as I
thought about how I might now discover the mysterious woman
visiting Sam. I wasn’t ready but that didn’t matter. I took a deep
breath and prepared myself for the challenge. I was so sure that it
would be her that it took me a moment to fully understand the scene
in front of me.

At Sam’s bedside, knelt down on
one knee, his head bent so that it rested on clasped hands, was
Blake. His metal cross hung down from inside his hands and as it
trembled in the quiet it was the only movement in the entire
room.

I let my eyes roam over the
curved shape of Blake’s spine and onto his thighs tensed in the
position of prayer. His eyes were closed and I saw how his black
eyelashes swept down, casting a shadow onto his cheek. The
beautiful and awesome image of an angel hit me with full force and
I stood starring deeply at him, drinking in every detail. I watched
as he licked his lips before beginning to mouth a silent prayer and
when finished, he raised the cross to his lips and kissed it.

I swung myself back out of the
door, knowing that it would be terrible to be found spying on such
an intimate and private moment. I felt a naughty guilt, almost as
if I had walked in on Blake naked, and it sent such shivers of
desire up my spine that I had to lean against the wall to stop
myself from falling.

*

It wasn’t long before Blake
swung the car in front of the hospital doors, “Sorry I’m late Mina.
I got caught up; the rain’s causing havoc with the traffic and
there’s been an accident blocking the main road.”

I slid in beside him, “No
problem.”

Seeing me still trembling, he
reached forward and turned up the heater not realising that I was
already on fire.

10. FOREST OF ADVENTURES

Blake’s traffic report turned
out to be more true than he probably realised and after twenty
minutes caught in a tailback out of town, he swerved off onto the
back roads.

“It’s longer but I think it’ll
be faster tonight,” he said by way of explanation. “That’s just in
case you were beginning to worry that I was secretly a mad axe
murderer,” he smiled.

“Well I was beginning to
wonder.” I looked over at him for the first time since getting in
the car and returned his smile.

“Do you want to phone Martha,
tell her about the delay?”

“Martha?” I looked at him
quizzically. “How do you know my mother’s maiden name? Have you
been checking up on me, Mr Beldevier?” I teased.

He was embarrassed at having
been caught out, “Just a few neighbourly enquiries.”

“So what else do you know about
me then?”

“Not much.” He shrugged,
“You’re really quite elusive. I know that you and Sam have been
together since you were fourteen. I know it’s a generally accepted
fact that you’ll end up married to each other. I know you’re very
clever, top of your class in most subjects. A good artist, I’ve
seen your work displayed in the atrium and I also know that even
you think you’re a bit odd.”