The FitzOsbornes at War (16 page)

‘Mind you, he said it was only because the sample was so small, and I didn’t mention it was boustrophedonic. Still, it’s useful to know the code’s so difficult to decipher. Just in case one ever needs to write a letter to someone. At some stage.’

Well, that’s nice and specific, isn’t it? Typical of the Colonel . . . Oh, the telephone’s ringing. Why does that
always
happen whenever I sit down to write? Good, Veronica’s getting it . . .

I
T WAS HENRY’S HEADMISTRESS
.

‘Henry’s been expelled,’ Veronica reported, coming back into the kitchen.

‘Oh,
no
!’ I cried, dropping my pen (although it wasn’t exactly a tremendous shock). ‘Why?’

‘It’s unspeakable,’ said Veronica.

I stared at her. ‘It’s
what
?’

‘No, I mean, that’s all the headmistress would say when I asked. “It’s unspeakable.” Anyway, they’re putting Henry on a train with her luggage. We have to meet her at King’s Cross Station at 3:20.’

‘Poor Henry, I hope she’s not too upset,’ I said, although, of course, she looked absolutely delighted when we met her on the railway platform.

‘I can’t wait to see your flat!’ she exclaimed, after hugging us both. ‘How long can I stay with you? I know how to cook now – I made scones in Domestic Science – and I sort of know how to sew, if you have any mending to be done. Oh, are we getting a taxi? Do you think we could possibly stop at Madame Tussaud’s on our way? I’ve never been, and I hear it’s very educational and historical, especially the Chamber of Horrors –’

‘We are going directly to the flat, and then you’re returning to Milford tomorrow morning,’ said Veronica. ‘Aunt Charlotte’s livid. What on Earth did you do?’

It transpired that Henry’s ‘unspeakable’ act had been to explain the Facts of Life to one of the girls in her dormitory.

‘But I had to!’ Henry said earnestly. ‘She’d been bleeding for a whole day and was too scared to tell anyone. She didn’t know anything about it at all! She thought she was
dying
.’

‘Couldn’t you just have taken the poor girl to Matron?’ I asked.

‘
No
, because Matron’s about two hundred years old and absolutely horrible! She would have yelled at me for leaving the dorm after bedtime, and then yelled at Cecilia and made Cecilia cry even more. And I bet Matron still wouldn’t have explained anything. I doubt she even
knows
.’ Henry peered at Veronica with some anxiety. ‘But honestly, Veronica, it wasn’t
my
fault the headmistress found out. It was that tattletale Loretta!’

Veronica had been shaking her head furiously, but it wasn’t directed at Henry. ‘Can you
believe
this?’ Veronica said to me. ‘Girls being sent off to boarding school in a state of complete ignorance! And then the school failing to teach them anything useful about human reproduction, and
punishing
them for discussing it!’ She turned back to Henry. ‘You were quite right to put that poor child’s mind at ease!’

Henry looked surprised but gratified, although I couldn’t help wondering how comforting (or accurate) Henry’s version of the Facts of Life had been. I also noticed the back of our taxi driver’s neck growing redder and redder.

‘Well, perhaps we can finish talking about this at home,’ I said, indicating him with meaningful looks.

‘Why should we?’ said Veronica, even louder and more indignantly. ‘Menstruation’s a perfectly normal event! It’s simply because women do it that the whole subject’s treated with shame and disgust. If a
man
bleeds, he’s awarded the Victoria Cross and gets an article in
The Times
explaining what a valiant hero he is!’

‘Only if he were on a battlefield at the time,’ I protested weakly. ‘It’s a bit different.’

‘Yes, one situation’s about perpetuating the human race; the other’s about annihilating it. It just demonstrates what our society really values, doesn’t it?’

It was difficult enough to win an argument against Veronica before she joined the Foreign Office. Now, it’s impossible.

‘Oh, and Sophie, I nearly forgot,’ said Henry, digging in her pocket and pulling out a crumpled envelope. ‘Here’s a letter from the headmistress for you. I had to open it because I thought my train ticket might be in there. She says she couldn’t allow me to stay till the end of term, because I’m such a bad influence on the other girls.’

‘
She’s
the one who’s a bad influence on girls,’ said Veronica, still fuming. ‘You’re much better off out of that place, Henry.’

‘Although I expect Aunt Charlotte will find it pretty difficult to find another school for me after this,’ Henry said, trying to look mournful and failing utterly. ‘I’ll just have to stay at Milford, I suppose, and help with the horses. And look after Carlos and Estella and all the dear little piglets.’

Then she settled back in her seat with a sigh of satisfaction, looking, at that moment,
exactly
like Toby.

29th May, 1940

I
HAVE HELPED CATCH A SPY
!
Several
spies, in fact. What a good thing my abbreviated Kernetin is (probably) indecipherable, so I can record all the details here!

Well, it turns out I was right about Tyler Kent being a very suspicious character. Or, at least, the
Colonel
was right when he took note of my vague misgivings and investigated the man in more detail. Apparently Mr Kent had already attracted the attentions of the police, because he’d been seen with someone they suspected was a German agent. He’d also become friends with a lady called Anna Wolkoff, whose parents run the Russian Tea Room, near the Natural History Museum. I’d walked past it several times with Henry; what I
didn’t
know was that it was the meeting place for the Right Club, a secret Fascist organisation set up by Archibald Maule Ramsay. He is a Member of Parliament, but a fairly deranged one, by the sound of things. He thinks all the Jews should be thrown out of Britain, and that Bolsheviks are plotting to bring down the government, and so on.

Anyway, it seems that Tyler Kent copied hundreds of confidential telegrams and letters at the American Embassy, and showed them to Captain Ramsay and Miss Wolkoff. Then she sent the important ones off to her contacts at the Italian Embassy. I know we are not actually at war with the Italians, but they are Fascists and very much on Hitler’s side, and it appears that they sent the information on to Berlin. I remember that Mr Kent applied to be transferred to Berlin earlier this year, but had his request turned down. Perhaps that’s why he had to send the information via Miss Wolkoff – who, by the way, used to make dresses for Wallis Simpson, now the Duchess of Windsor and also (according to Veronica) a good friend of several high-ranking Nazis.

I wonder how Mr Kennedy reacted, when he found out what had been going on at the Embassy, right under his nose! Obviously, I’m not allowed to know what was
in
any of the documents, but I think they must have been something to do with America joining the war. Officially, the United States is neutral and a lot of Americans want to keep out of the conflict, but President Roosevelt seems quite keen on helping the British. At any rate, the documents must have contained extremely important information, because all the people involved in the plot have been arrested. The Colonel says they’ll be charged with betraying their country and helping the enemy. I don’t see how they could charge Tyler Kent with that when he isn’t British – although he
did
steal things that were the property of the American government, and that’s certainly against the law.

But there is even
more
to this story! Oswald Mosley has been arrested, too! He didn’t have anything to do with stealing the documents, though. He hasn’t even been charged with a crime. I asked Veronica how Mosley could be imprisoned without any charge, and she explained that a new amendment to the
Emergency Powers Act
had been passed in Parliament the day before. This means the government can now detain not only anyone who is ‘hostile’ to the ‘defence of the realm’, but also any person who has associated with, or is ‘sympathetic with’, any government that’s at war with Britain. That definitely applies to Mosley, who thinks the war is a ‘quarrel of Jewish finance’ and says Britain should sign a peace treaty with Hitler. Still, when I think of all the people I’ve heard deriding Jews and praising Hitler at debutante balls and dinner parties, it seems to me that half the English aristocracy could be locked up. Of course, quite a few of them changed their minds as the war approached – Lady Bosworth, for example, and poor old Lord Redesdale, who’s Unity Mitford’s father.

Anyway, I expect the government knows what it’s doing (about arresting people who might be dangerous, that is). It’s no wonder they’re worried, with the war going so badly on the Continent. The Germans have advanced almost all the way to the English Channel. Yesterday, King Leopold of the Belgians surrendered to Germany (without the agreement of his government), leaving the Allied forces in an even bigger mess than they already were. The RAF planes have flown back home now, but I don’t know about the British soldiers. I suppose they’re still fighting there, alongside the French, who haven’t surrendered. Not yet, anyway.

I wonder why the Germans are winning all the battles so far. Is it because they have those enormous tanks and thousands of aeroplanes, or is it just that they’re better at military strategy? Not that they’d have to be
all
that clever to outmanoeuvre the French. Look at the Maginot Line, for example. A supposedly impregnable fort stretching along France’s border with Germany – except the French forgot to build it all the way to the coast. So naturally, rather than trying to break through it, the Germans went around the end of it. And the French army was
surprised
by this! I suppose the Germans have also had far more battle experience, what with all the fighting they’ve done in Spain and Poland and Norway . . . and they do seem more passionate about winning. Is it because they all worship Hitler and are desperate to please him? I can’t imagine any British soldier ever wanting to worship droopy old Chamberlain, or even King George (who’s always struck me as rather feeble).

Well, perhaps Mr Churchill will be a bit more inspirational for the troops. It seems to me they need all the encouragement they can get.

9th June, 1940

W
RITTEN AT
M
ILFORD
P
ARK,
to
which Veronica and I were urgently summoned by Aunt Charlotte on Friday. The government has decided to requisition the house for use as a military rehabilitation hospital and, of course, our aunt is vehemently opposed to the idea. She claims she needs the whole house to accommodate her family (hence our presence), but the fact is, it’s far too big for just her and Barnes and a couple of servants to manage, and most of the family is scattered now. Even Henry will be back at school after the summer holidays, assuming we can find a school willing to take her. In any case, there’s nothing much Aunt Charlotte can do about it – one can’t argue with the War Office. However, when Veronica said all of this, Aunt Charlotte drew herself up in a very familiar way.