The Filthy Series: The Complete Dark Erotic Serial Novel (56 page)

“You nervous?”

“What, uh, I—”

“Want somethin’ to take the edge off?” He reached into his pocket pulled out a little baggie filled with white powder.

I frowned and twisted my hands together. “What is that stuff?”

“Blow.” He shook a little bit out in the space between his thumb and pointer finger. He pressed his nose to the space and inhaled. He rubbed his nose. “You’ve never had it?”

I shook my head slowly. My fingers rattled against one another.

I could just try it.

He shook more of the powder out onto his hand. “Get on your knees,” he said when I bent awkwardly at my waist toward him.

The carpet was rough against my skin, prickly almost, as if someone had spilled something sticky there and never cleaned it up.

“Now just press your finger against one nostril and inhale with the other,” he said.

I didn’t have another moment of indecision this time. I didn’t stop to consider what I was doing. Instead I followed his directions inhaling the powder into my body. The back of my throat tasted the way the Bunsen burners at school smelled during a science experiment.

But I didn’t have time to think about that because he stepped out of his pants and pulled his shirt over his head. His chest was hairy and less muscular than Taylor’s. I reveled in the difference. In the awkwardly done skull and crossbones on his shoulder. The imperfections called to me somehow. My nipples hardened at the sight of his dick.

Or is the drugs?

I didn’t really care.

His cock bobbed there between us, smaller than Taylor’s, but a little bit thicker.

“You wanna suck it?”

I glanced up and met his eyes. I should have been afraid. My brain kept shouting it at me. That I should be fucking terrified of this stranger who was about to fuck me. But I wasn’t. I felt strangely calm. “Do you want me to?” My voice was even, smooth like jazz music.

“More than anythin’.” His cock jumped when I fixed my eyes on it. Almost as if it knew I was watching it.

I got on my knees in front of him. It wasn’t until his dick hit the back of my throat did I realize that I didn’t even know his name. This man who’s dick tasted salty—Taylor’s used to taste like this after he worked out in the yard on Saturday’s. He would come inside and I would devour him, swallow him whole until he was coming down the back of my throat.

Taylor would be so angry if he knew what I was doing. If he knew that I was gagging on someone else’s cock. That thought only made me suck harder, and try to take more of the stranger’s dick down my throat. It made me pump my wrist a little faster—until I was nothing but a bobbing head and a flexing wrist. Until I was just a body of flesh sucking a cock down my throat. I was no one to the man before me. No one but a good time. A blip of pleasure. I wasn’t this stranger’s Faye baby.

I wasn’t anything.

I was no one.

And he when he exploded, his cum draining down my throat mixing with the drugs, his body convulsing in pleasure with his hands buried in my hair, I became invisible to the world, to Taylor, and most importantly—to myself.

The Inbetween—during the six years apart

I let my car idle in the truck stop parking lot. The hum of the engine was quiet in the cold night air.

I shouldn’t be here.

But that was obvious. I knew better. I knew I shouldn’t be here at this place of all places. The place where I drug Faye to my car more than once. The place where she fucked hundreds of men. The thought made my hands flex on the wheel.

Put the car in drive. Leave.

But I didn’t. I continued to grip the wheel until my fingers ached.

It’d been five months. Five months since she left. Five months since she went away and I let her go. Just two months ago I had finally pulled my life together by my fucking bootstraps—with Cayden’s help. Two months since I had been sloshed drunk out of mind. It seemed longer though. Like my fucked up, hazy state happened a millennia ago in a different world, a different time. It seemed farther away than the last time I had Faye. When I pushed her up against my car and fucked her. Since I had taken from her what everyone else had already had.

I was just like them. Like him. My father. I was a piece of shit. There was no arguing with it. It was the truth. I put him away forever just to replace him with myself.

Shame. The same feeling that had been slithering through me for months, threatened to swallow me whole. It threatened to engulf me, until there was nothing left.

I needed a drink. Alcohol. I wanted it. Whiskey. I wanted to feel that burn. It was the burn that made this feeling go away. It set the shame on fire until I couldn’t feel anything, until I was just numb.

I shook my head. No. I couldn’t go back there. I couldn’t. I would lose everything this time. It was a miracle I hadn’t lost it all to begin. Lucky. I was lucky. I told myself that everyone morning when I rolled out of bed to go to work. My new bed. The one in Cayden’s spare bedroom. I was lucky to be alive and to have a job still. I was lucky there were people in the world like Cayden.

A soft rap on my window made me jump. A woman stood there.

Not Faye.

But I knew she wouldn’t be here. Cayden had checked. He looked every day for a month after Faye left and hadn’t seen a trace of her. She hadn’t come back here, just like she promised.

The woman at the window was older, close to my age, early thirties or so. Her dark hair was dirty and matted. Her skimpy clothes didn’t look any better. She had to be cold. It was winter after all and temperatures had been in the forties all week. But she still wore tiny ripped up shorts and a pink top that didn’t cover her belly.

I rolled down the window.

“You’ve been sitting here for a long time.” She smirked at me. “You looking for a good time?” Her breath smelled bad, like she hadn’t brushed her teeth in a good while. But I wasn’t deterred by this. Not in the least. This was what I came here for.

“Yes.” I pulled out a wad of cash. “Get in.”

She smiled at me seductively and walked around to the passenger seat.

I already had my pants undone by the time she climbed in. I didn’t care that we were sitting in the middle of a truck stop parking lot. I didn’t care that this was illegal. I had no fucks left to give about anything. My cock felt the same way.

I hadn’t been inside a woman in months. Not since Faye left and I ended things with Sarah. But now it was time. In this place with a dirty hooker. I was ready.

“Look at you, big boy.” She eyed me appreciatively.

“No talking. Suck it.”

“Wait a second.” She held a finger up. “Don’t be pushing my head down. I hate gagging.”

I snatched the wad of cash off the dash and flipped through it. “Three hundred bucks.” I glanced at her. “I want you to gag.”

Her eyes bugged. “Wait, three hundred just for a blow job?”

I set the cash on the dash and fisted my cock. “Yes.”

Her gaze darted between myself and the money. Her hands trembled in her lap and I knew what she was thinking. I knew she was imagining all the crack she could buy with that money. All the drugs that fry her brain until she was blissfully unaware that she was the scum of the fucking earth.

“You’ve got a deal.” She lunged forward, taking my cock to the back of her throat. Pleasure rippled through me. It mingled with that shame I couldn’t shake. The two twisted together, becoming something bitter inside me.

I pressed my hand down on her head forcing her to take all of me. Every single inch of my thick cock.

She gagged, forcing my cock deeper.

Shame. This was how I treated Faye. Like a fucking whore when I took her up against my car. When I plowed into her roughly, and came inside her. Just like this, almost. Except I was paying the whore-junkie gagging on my cock. I pressed my hand harder on the back of her hair. The strands were greasy, sticking to my fingers. I hated the feeling. I loathed it. It made my want to fling her away from me and speed off with my shame.

But I didn’t.

I dug my fingers harder into her scalp. She gagged again, but she didn’t stop. She didn’t try to deny me. She wouldn’t. Not with three hundred dollars on the fucking line.

She gagged again. The feeling only made my dick harder.

The image of Faye popped into my head. Her leg wrapped around my waist while I moved inside her. Her fingers clinging to my shirt. The way she looked at me. Her brown eyes so dark under the alley light, but so full of something I didn’t even want to consider. Full of all the things I could never give her.

I pressed down harder on the greasy head. She gagged again, triggering something carnal inside me. Something bitter and hateful. I thrust my hips up just as pleasure exploded behind my eyes.

“Faye!”

Faye’s face, her parted lips as she came around my cock covered my vision as I continued to thrust into the warm mouth swallowing me. Except that mouth wasn’t just gagging anymore. She was vomiting all over my cock, but I didn’t care. I didn’t give a fuck as the cum squirted out of me. It seemed to be drug from somewhere deep inside me, pulled from the darkest spaces of my subconscious until I was completely empty, vacant of all the shame, the pleasure. Life.

She pulled back and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. I expected her to be mad that I fucked her face until she vomited all over my cock. I wasn’t even sorry that her eyes were watering.
Monster.

“You know Faye?”

Her words startled me and stopped me as I reached for the towel in my gym bag. “What?”

“Shauna will be worried about me.”

The memory of Faye and I in the car that day I took her to the doctor practically two years ago flashed into my head.

“Faye. Do you know her? I’m Shauna, her friend. I—I haven’t heard from her in over a year and—”

“Get out.” I cut her off.

“But—”

“Get out.” I tossed the wad of cash into her lap and dug out my wallet. I threw another hundred dollar bill at her. “Now.”

Shauna didn’t waste any time. She snatched up the money and all but fell out of my car.

I watched her run across the parking lot. Hate filled me as I watched her too-thin legs move out of sight. I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t define the way I felt aside from the hate and the loneliness. I wiped the vomit off my dick and threw the towel out the window while I drove home.

It wasn’t until I pulled into Cayden’s driveway that the shame came back, resurfacing like it always did. And I realized didn’t hate Shauna. I hated myself.

The Very End

It was dark. Late. The only light was the bright fluorescent one out in the hall. The same light that was on every night. The same light that had been my night light for nearly twenty-four years. That’s how long I’d been in prison.

I used to think I’d get out. That’d I’d end up back in my life. Back with my Faye baby. But no appeals court would touch my case. No one would consider that I was innocent. And I
was
innocent. Everyone who thought I was guilty was wrong. Faye might have been a child, but she was mine and she loved me—each and every time I touched her she loved me more and I her.

I’d had a lot of time to think about it. To consider the reality of the things I had done. I was a bad man, even I could own up to that. I had laundered money, done dirty things that made me rich and successful. But loving Faye wasn’t on that list. Loving her was the good thing in my life. The highlight of the darkness that had been smeared across my world.

My cock pressed hard against the fabric of my uniform. I reached in my pants and pulled it out. Joe, my roommate who slept on the bottom bunk had been taken to solitary confinement earlier today, so I was alone with my thoughts and my cock.

The image of Faye from so many years ago, jumped into my mind. It was always her. She was the only woman I thought about—even after all these years. It was late one night when I got home from work. I’d been gone for a week or more on business. A trip where I had to deal with some fucked up shit. I was fucking exhausted but I needed to see Faye. She was the one redeeming thing in my world that made it worth living.

I remembered pushing open the door to her room. She was lying in her bed wearing her purple nightgown. That one was my favorite, my cock jumped to life at the sight of her in it. I’d bought it for her just a few months before for her thirteenth birthday. I took a step inside and closed the door behind me quietly.

“Daddy?” she whispered and my cock throbbed harder as I spun around.

“I’m home, Faye baby.”

“I missed you, daddy.”

I stroked my cock in my hand, coming out of the memory at those words.
“I miss you, daddy.”
My dick erupted shooting cum all over my belly. That’s as far as I ever got in the memory before I came. I didn’t even have to think about how I bent her over that night and fucked her or the way she whispered how much she loved me after.

I released my softening cock and sighed. It was always the same.

“I miss you, Faye baby.”

“Do you?”

I jumped at the sound of the voice right next to my head.

“Wha—”

“Do you miss her,
dad
?”

The light in my cell came on just as the thick steal door slammed shut. I blinked at the bright light.

“Rhett?” My son’s visage emerged once my eyes adjusted. “What are you doing here?” I hadn’t seen my son since I was sentenced. He’d sat in the crowd alone watching me with contempt-filled eyes. But I hadn’t cared, not really. He wasn’t the one who mattered. Faye mattered.

“Miss me, dad? It’s only been what, over twenty years?”

Rhett was older now. In his fifties. “How?” I couldn’t really wrap my head around the idea that he was here in the cell with me. My own son. The son who never visited me. The son who helped put me away. The son who took my Faye baby. “Why the fuck are you here?” I tried to sit up but he pressed his hand against my chest, forcing me down. I wasn’t strong like I used to be—I was in my seventies now and the years hadn’t been as good to me.