The Fall: Victim Zero (35 page)

The timing was fluid; plans were made but the details had yet to be worked out. As a group Kell and the rest were told they would be allowed to bring only the essentials. Everything else would stay behind. The logistics of transporting housefuls of belongings were too difficult.

Later that day, after Kell and his housemates returned home, he climbed onto the roof and watched the sky. It was a simple thing, the movement of the life-giving orb across the blue, but something he hadn't done in ages.

He expected to feel discouraged, but he didn't. There was no sense of loss that now, after so many months spent gathering supplies, he was jerked back from the cusp of restarting his work. Instead he felt a profound sense of relief. His time alone taught him the value of people. Time with people taught him the importance of relying on himself for some things. But above it all, the previous year had been hard. Trying to integrate into the new community budding here in southern Michigan was brutal, and he'd made mistakes. Too many people knew him or had heard of him. Pulling off a vanishing act was impossible, as was keeping a low profile.

The sun marched its way in the solar dance, and Kell remembered a day much like this one twenty years before. Lying in the back yard, observing the sheer infinite vastness above and wondering. Just wondering. The universe seemed so mysterious to him then, and even as a young boy with his nose buried in text books he understood the beauty in the clockwork motions operating on a scale so large he could barely comprehend it.

After a while Kate and Laura clambered onto the roof and sat next to him as he stared upward. They said nothing, only watched. Enough had passed between them recently that words failed. Their bond was strong, strong enough to overcome almost anything.

“
A lot of kids got into science because of stargazing,” Kell said. “Not me. I wanted to know how the sun worked. I used to do this for hours, even after I understood. It's all so big, so logical, but amazing and fantastic. Up there is a ball of hydrogen burning and fusing into helium, and helium into heavier elements. Repeat that over and over again and it's just like Carl Sagan said—we're all star stuff. Everything we are comes from the bodies of dead stars. Spent their lives making something out of the simplest material just so they'd have an audience.”

Kell smiled. “It's messed up, but I feel better than I have in a long time. In my head I know a lot of bad things have happened. That hasn't gone anywhere. Just knowing we can go forward and start over...I don't know, it changes things. And looking at all that above us, all that sky, just reminds me we're small things. If we fail, the world will go on.”

There was a long silence as the three of them watched clouds move in and block out the light. Not dark ones. Nothing ominous. But enough to rime the clouds in a bright nimbus of light while leaving the watchers in shadow.

“
We have to start over,” Kate said, breaking the silence.

“
I know,” Kell said. “I should be pissed. But we've screwed up a lot. A fresh start may be exactly what we need. Keep our heads down, work on a cure. I don't know if it will be possible where we're going, but from what I'm told, New Haven is a good place to live.”

Laura lay down on the roof, arms stretched over her head. “It is. Hard, but fair. They have more to offer than these ungrateful bastards.”

“It's okay,” Kell said. “When I came here I wanted to be nobody. Not to stand out. Even one person commenting to someone who knew about my work, about my role in the outbreak...it was a risk. I don't blend in anyway, but I made my choices and they didn't help matters. The leadership wants us gone because we took matters into our own hands. And why shouldn't we start over fresh somewhere people don't know anything about us?”

“
You're not wrong,” Kate said. “But we have so much going here. We could probably fight it. I think I could convince them to let us stay so we don't have to begin from scratch.”

For a little while Kell said nothing. “I thought about it. Truth is, all it will take is one person in North Jackson describing me to some surviving member of the old DARPA teams. How many of them, or their families, do you think there are around this part of the world? You think they kept quiet about who started all this when the world fell to pieces? I don't care either way if they know, but I don't want to be burned alive because someone recognizes the NBA-sized nerd who set the gears in motion.”

Laura sighed. “And if we fight it and try to stay, it only draws more attention on us. Some husband or wife who heard third-hand the plague started with a man named McDonald could connect the dots. I hate to say it, but you're right. A clean break is for the best.”

It was true enough, but deeper than all of it Kell felt cut off from this community. It had never really been his, but he stayed for Laura and Kate. There was no sense of belonging on the larger scale. He held no hope New Haven would be better, but he doubted it could be worse. Then there was the thrill of the unknown; maybe the place would surprise him. Treat him like family.

Until and unless he found the comforting warmth of community, of belonging to something greater, Laura and Kate were there. The world was important and the potential for a cure even more so, but in the end Kell lay next to them on the frozen roof and knew that come what may, they were family.

They watched the sky for a long time, content to be together. There were problems between them and pitfalls just around the corner, but for now it was enough. They would stumble and fall, but they would do it as one.

And they would stand back up again. No matter the number of failures, they would rise together.