"Mayhap I should have pressed the issue of her returning to her
duties before now, but she's been so sorely wounded in heart and
mind, I little thought there would be any harm. I even wondered if I
was keeping her safe by allowing her to remain here when she clearly
had no vocation."
He kissed her hand. "Thank you for caring enough about her to want
to keep her safe. But the fact of the matter is, if Morgan dies, no
one in this region will be.
"I don’t want to bring her into danger, Aunt, but nor can I let the
whole family’s fortune and prosperity just slip away. They are my
foster family, and even closer to me than my own kin save for your
good self. Lisleavan is my home. It's the only real home I’ve ever
had since you took your vows. Morgan has been my foster father ever
since then, but my ties go deeper than that. If Conor hadn’t been
murdered, and myself falsely incriminated, Morgana would have been
my wife, and the mother of my children by now, with the help of
God.”
She fixed her sharp blue eyes on her nephew's handsome face. “Yet
Morgana has opted for the Church. Moreover, as a woman she would not
be everyone’s first choice as clan leader, even should she wish to
resume her old life. You are putting her in an impossible, as well
as dangerous position. I hope you're not going to corner her into
making a decision based upon duty only.”
“By all I hold sacred, Aunt, I have always loved her, not her lands
or titles. No one could have ever doubted that had her brother Conor
lived. The case against me looked bad, but she should have loved and
trusted me enough to give me the benefit of the doubt,” Ruairc
argued angrily.
"She was so distraught—"
"I understand that, but she did nothing to defend me, when she
easily could have. She knows in her heart I would never lift a
finger against Conor."
"Nor paid anyone to do it."
He shook his head. "All I had was from Morgan. I have no desire to
rot in Hell for an eternity for murder and the most base
ingratitude. Morgana should have known that. She knew where I was
the night her brother died--"
"Er, yes, I can guess, thank you—"
His eye rounded. "Nay, Aunt, it's not what you think, well, not
quite. I swear, she's still—"
His aunt brushed his protestations aside with a sweep of her hand.
"Better to marry than to burn, especially when you're young. You
were betrothed, after all, and scant days from the wedding ceremony.
I have no intention of reproaching you for your healthy nature. I
merely want to point out to you that that could be one of the
reasons she fled here. Guilt, both religious and personal, for being
in love, being happy, when her brother Conor was meeting his end."
He stared at her for a moment as if the thought had never occurred
to him.
“Well, I'm sure it wasn't because she was terrified of me as a man,
that she was frightened or found me boorish in any way. So thank
you, aunt, I'll keep that in mind.
"But whatever notions she got into her head, this issue goes beyond
mere feelings, to the very heart of our society. My brothers have
applied for titles from Henry the Eighth, and have been dividing up
the MacMahon lands, buying others, until they have succeeded in
surrounding the Maguires. I make no mention of my own dispossession,
though I am legally and morally entitled to a portion of the Maguire
holdings should I choose to press such a claim.
"But you know yourself, Aunt, we've always held the land in common
for centuries, with no need to put our names to titles deeds. We
never threatened each other with legal redress for infringing on
each other’s territories until my brothers gained the upper hand in
the clan.
“I'm doing well in Dublin. I want for nothing, so I have no reason
to press my claims. But all our cousins, the elderly, women and
children, have been thrown off the estates, completely dispossessed,
the land given over to sheep and cattle. I couldn’t even get into
Carrickdoo. It was so heavily fortified it looked more like the
royal mint than my family home,” Ruairc complained, thumping his
fist down on the table angrily.
She reached for his bunched fist and straightened the fingers
gently. “Patience, my son. You're a man of the world. You will
weather these storms. But you are also a man of God. You have a
Christian side to you, which feels the injustice done to your family
deeply.
"But it is done, and I fear there is no turning back. Your brothers
will not suddenly transform overnight into decent men, and give
these people back their homes,” Agatha sighed. “Tell me, what has
happened to all the dispossessed?”
“I have heard Morgana’s family have taken most of them in for the
time being. After a brief visit to see Morgan and learn the truth of
what's been happening from him, I came straight here.I have no idea
just how bad their circumstances are, but after the disastrous
harvests, the cattle raids, fires, and wells running dry last year,
I doubt the Maguire clan will able to provide for so many mouths for
very long. Not without great hardship to themselves, which will
weaken this entire region.
"They're continuing the values that Morgana possesses, kindness,
compassion, generosity, but none of them have her abilities as a
manager and strategist. Now do you see why we need her so badly?”
“Ruairc, you were my child until I was widowed. I can sense your
thoughts and feelings as though you were speaking them aloud.I fear
your love for Morgana may be blinding you to the truth, to the most
prudent course of action,” Agatha said with a sigh.
She raised her hand imperiously when Ruairc sought to interrupt.
“Spare me your protests, Ruairc. You love her, you always have, but
she was too young to be sure of your love. Though I'm certain she's
missed you every day for the past two years, she could be content
here if only you would let her be. I'm afraid you might,
deliberately or unwittingly, use her to fight your battles. Or worse
still, enter into marriage with you for the sake of duty rather than
love.”
“Not a day passed without me wanting to come here and take her away,
marry her. But I understand your concern for her welfare. I promise
you, I won’t force her into doing anything she doesn’t wish to.
"I am not abducting her, nor am I a foul rapist. Many other men
wouldn't even think twice about asserting the rights I am entitled
to. But to do something so unspeakable would be to break her spirit
and bring down hellfire upon my head as well as my soul. Morgana is
too precious to be tricked or coerced. She's strong-willed enough to
know her own mind. Besides, I doubt anything I could say would
influence her, Not when she thinks I killed her brother Conor, my
dearest friend. She even accused me of doing it with my own hand,
when she knows in her heart I could not have.” He shook his head.
"She denies ever being with me that night. I can't understand it. I
would almost think it some kind of madness, were she not so rational
in all other respects."
“I admire you for your courage and restraint, my son, and I suspect
I could be right about her guilt over what you shared the night her
brother died, however innocent it might have been, and not wrong for
two people who love each other. But I would also remind you, Morgana
is meant to be taking her final vows in a fortnight. What will you
do if she embraces the Church instead of yourself?”
Ruairc avoided his aunt’s piercing gaze by turning to look out the
window, where a wintry flurry had just started. “A great deal can
happen from now until then, Aunt Agatha. I have the uneasy feeling
it will. We are dealing with forces beyond our control, and Fate
sometimes deals us a rotten hand we simply have to play out to the
last." He rose to watch the flakes dance for a time, then turned
back to look at his aunt, his expression intent.
“But I’m not entirely powerless, and I don’t intend to fight fair
where Morgana is concerned. I love her. She belongs with me, beyond
any other considerations of the Maguire family. I know they need her
too, but the devil with her lands and title. I would elope with her
down to Dublin tomorrow without a penny to her name if she only gave
some sign that she still cared for me,” Ruairc confessed.
Agatha rose and joined him at the window. She patted his cheek and
smiled gently. “In that case, Ruairc, I shall pray for you both. It
will be as the good Lord decides. I should be sorry to lose the most
diligent, hard-working nun I’ve ever had, but would be glad to have
a new niece in the family.”
“Has she really performed so well here, Aunt?” Ruairc asked,
surprised.
She nodded. “Yes indeed.No task was too difficult or onerous, and
she is young and strong. You would also be surprised to find how
well her cooking and sewing have come on. She would make a good wife
and chatelaine of a castle now. She’s not the same wild hoyden you
once knew, Ruairc.”
“Conor’s death affected her very badly,” Ruairc observed with a
sigh. "All the light went out of her. It was terrifying to see. Even
worse than her anger."
“Not just his death, Ruairc. She is older and wiser, and has
struggled hard to subdue her impatient nature.”
He took his aunt's hand and led her back to the warmth of the
hearth.
Ruairc laughed long and hard. “Impatient? Bellicose would be a more
appropriate description. Why, the five of us were the backbone of
the Maguire clan. Together we were invincible! She was the best
horseman I’d ever seen, and as for...”
“Ruairc, she's changed!” Agatha insisted. “Don’t try to force her
into reverting back to her old ways. You yourself have told me there
may be danger. I hope you're not coming here with the intention of
getting her to come home and unite the Maguire clan behind her as
their warlord.”
Ruairc blinked as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Aunt Agatha, you aren’t suggesting I would use Morgana for my own
ends!”
“Perhaps not deliberately, but it may happen, if your brothers are
determined to continue down the road they have taken, and old Morgan
dies.”
The blood hammered in Ruairc’s ears, and he steadied himself with a
deep breath. “There’s nothing wrong with defending ourselves!”
She folded her hands in his lap, and straightened her back. “Who is
‘us’, Ruairc? You're an outcast amongst the Maguires, and you know
it! Please reconsider your position, or at least stop to think what
this means for Morgana. You run the risk of her death by bringing
her back to Lisleavan, and that is the bald truth, is it not?”
“Yes, but-”
“Would you run the risk of losing her just when you have found her
again?”
“It will be her choice, Aunt Agatha,” Ruairc said stiffly.
“I doubt that very much, Ruairc," she replied dryly, her assessing
gaze never wavering from her nephew's face. "Just be sure your
motives are pure. That it isn’t revenge you seek.”
Ruairc turned to stare out the window at the snowflakes once more,
then turned back to face his aunt.
“I swear to you, by all I hold sacred, if Morgana wishes to come
back here, I will not stand in her way.I love her enough to let her
have her freedom, if that is what she chooses.”
“What if she chooses another man? After all, as the heir, all will
seek her hand, where none would have troubled to before,” Agatha
observed.
He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. “Then I will have
to let her go. I can’t live like a blind fool on empty hopes for the
rest of my life, now can I? Maybe I’ve already lost her,” he said,
running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I have no way
of clearing my name concerning Conor’s death.I cannot tell her where
I was after I left her that night without breaking a confidence. I
also can't help feeling hurt. She should have had more trust in me,
believed me when I said appearances were deceiving.”
“She was young, too apt to listen to others. Give her another
chance. I think she'll recognise the true from the false now, after
the passage of time, and the days and nights she has had alone here
to search her own heart.”
His expression was bleak as he stared back at her. “I hope you're
right, for she needs to know I'm on her side. I do truly fear the
worst. With my brothers Dermot and Brendan destroying the MacMahon
clan, living in complete luxury while the people starve, they'll
have very few scruples about moving against her. Morgana’s sister
Aofa has done little for the past two years other than comb her hair
and parade up and down in silk and brocade gowns,” Ruairc snorted in
disgust.
“Morgan let Aofa and her mother have anything. Morgana was allowed
to run wild, was completely neglected, poor, with barely a change of
clothes to her name. Conor of course got everything as the son and
heir, and yet they were the best of friends."
He sat back down across from his aunt in front of the fire. “When
Conor died, the Maguires obeyed Conor’s wishes and chose Morgana as
their leader. That old Morgan could never forgive, though he knew in
his heart Aofa was useless other than as an ornament to grace some
rich man’s table, provided she didn’t open her mouth and reveal her
stupidity for all to see.”