Authors: Jessica Callaghan
As with most of the moments we had together, this one was ruined. I was sprawled out on our bed, feeling the soft sheets against my skin while I waited for Gabriel. He was in the bathroom, cleaning the blood from his hands. He was a messy killer. I imagined that as a human he would have been the kind of person who was always told off for playing with his food. Human characteristics are displayed within the vampire world too, just with a lot more blood.
I felt a shift in the air and I detected his presence. He stood in the doorway, his shadow falling over me. I let my eyes flicker open, expecting him to join me and kiss me in the way no one else could, but there was a look of regret on his face.
He always had that look when he was about to deliver bad news or mention something he didn’t want to talk about. It was then that I saw the black block in his hand: it was his mobile phone. I’d never needed one as a human. The only people I had to call were my distant aunt, my alcoholic mother, or Gabriel, but now I was beginning to hate them. These phone calls seemed to interrupt all of the moments Gabriel and I shared.
“What’s happened, Gabe?” I asked, already sensing the answer.
He sighed. “I have to phone one of my contacts. I’m sorry. They sent me a message while we were hunting and it seems urgent. I’m so sorry.”
He backed out of the room, waving the phone at me as if to prove something. I was furious of course. I had been looking forward to our night together but now it had been snatched away. It seemed something always got in the way of our nights together, but I couldn’t stay mad at him. No matter what he did, or what happened, I couldn’t spend our precious moments together being angry.
I sat up in the bed, straining to hear the conversation. I made out the occasional word but nothing helped me to work out who this business contact was, although it was easy to make out the tone. Emotion was seeping out of him, hitting me with great strength. He was furious, that much was certain, but there was a little undercurrent of excitement. Maybe it was a business venture, like he said, but something about his reaction seemed unusual.
I waited for a few moments, trying to stop myself from eavesdropping. It was entirely immoral for me to spy on him, but I couldn’t help myself. I lay back on the bed until eventually I grew tired of keeping track of him. I felt my eyes close and within a matter of seconds I was asleep.
For the first night in a long while I had fallen asleep without my mate in my arms. It was an uneasy sleep of course. Gabriel was keeping something important from me and I pledged then and there to find out what it was. I knew how destructive secrets could be, and I didn’t want anything to come between us again.
**
It may seem to outsiders that the life of a vampire is monotonous, but it’s hard to describe it’s appeal if you aren’t a part of it. Being a vampire, a creature beyond the mortal realm, feeds every desire a human has to seem powerful. No two kills are the same, yet they can always satisfy your thirst to some degree. Every time you kill you can feel the life of a human slipping away. It almost feels as if their essence, their very soul, is pouring from their body into the skin of their killer. You become invincible and empowered, filled with a confidence that is unshakeable.
It never grows old, and having someone like Gabriel to share it with made the nights seem even more perfect. My life as a vampire had been nearing 9 months yet I never felt as if I was repeating myself, or growing bored of my lifestyle.
Gabriel and I had experienced our fair share of ups and downs but every couple has. As a member of the undead you rarely feel emotion, at least not towards the pitiful humans you encounter. It’s only when you are with your mate that your emotion is heightened, and so fights are bound to break out. Gabriel and I had certainly had difficulties but we had moved past them.
Certain things still bothered me. I was no closer to working out who my mysterious stalker was, and he hadn’t shown himself to me recently so I had no way to track him. Gabriel seemed to receive an unusually high number of telephone calls and often disappeared on “business trips” after we had hunted for the night.
At the root of my discomfort were the victim Gabriel chose. Despite everything I tried I couldn’t shake the feeling that the girls we were killing on a nightly basis were familiar. I couldn’t possibly have met them all but there was something linking them, something important about them which I had to work out.
I tried to push these thoughts away. I had grown very good at that during my time of isolation. It didn’t help to dwell on my paranoid delusions or negativity. Even so, there was something niggling away at me which told me to pay attention, and my instincts weren’t often wrong.
Gabriel and I branched out of our usual spots to make the most of the summer months. We found a busy spot filled with student dormitories and youth hostels, and began to pick off the young residents who were unlucky enough to cross our paths.
I sat in the living room, contemplating our kill of that night. Gabriel had chosen as usual and he had picked a small, Swedish girl who was in London for a semester abroad. She was alone and as we spotted her she was crying quietly to herself. I could sense the loneliness she was feeling and a picture of an older woman appeared in my head, a mother figure perhaps. This girl missed the older woman deeply, whoever she was, and that made her vulnerable.
Gabriel could sense her loneliness too, and we both knew that it made her a perfect target. Those who are lonely or depressed are more susceptible to our gifts, and are far more likely to allow themselves to be separated from a group.
He put on an act, pretending to be a concerned fellow student who had experienced home sickness himself and wanted to lend a helping hand. The poor thing didn’t even see it coming.
She looked beautiful in her final moments. The isolation in her face and mind twisted and distorted in to something undescribable. She wasn’t just living alone anymore, she was dying alone which is a far more intense experience. There was a mask of depression on her face that seemed fragile, doll-like in fact.
Her blood came quicker than most, flowing out of the holes in her neck in a thick red stream. The blood slipped on to her long blonde hair, dying the tips a ghastly red. I took my turn feeding from her. Gabriel stroked my hair as I did, drinking in my passion as I bled the girl dry.
I have to admit that she was a remarkable victim. Her blood had a raw, primal taste which reminded me of the excitement of my early kills. Gabriel had chosen well. I was drawn to certain victims but I had never made by choice the way he did. He would set eyes on a girl and know in an instant that he had to devour her. I had to feel the energy of a potential kill before deciding on their fate. I was envious of his ability, although I told myself it would come with time.
I was sitting by the large, glass panel in our living room, dwelling on the taste of this exchange student. I could still taste the blood in my mouth and there were dried patches of it on my hands. I wondered if the older woman that meant so much to the girl would find out she was dead, or if her disappearance would always remain a mystery.
Despite this tantalising memory something still didn’t feel right. Gabriel’s method of choosing victims was unique and impossible for me to understand. I put it down to experience of course, but he had never explained the reason behind his choices. Even when I pressed him to elaborate he just shrugged or winked before calling his “associate” and disappearing.
The girls he had chosen to kill ran through my mind. Some victims, while satisfying, never really make their mark the way the first kill does, or the way this Swedish girl would, but I could usually remember sketchy details.
Girl after girl flew through my head like a movie reel. Each one represented a different night and nothing seemed to draw them together. They had each possessed their own unique taste and scent; they had worn different clothing and had varying emotional states.
The blood stained blonde hair of the Swede passed through my head, and then it clicked. I’d never really understood the feeling of an epiphany before. I knew what it meant but I’d never been able to apply real world experiences to the concept. This was as close as I had been.
They were all blonde. Every single one. Not just blonde either, but pale skinned with beautiful, glossy locks which highlighted their beauty. They had all been small in stature, often quite skinny, and they had possessed a willowy quality which seemed elegant. They all looked like me as I had when I was a human.
I couldn’t believe it had taken me so long to piece this together. Every time we went to hunt I had let Gabriel pick the victim, trusting in his taste more than my own. With every kill I had felt something was wrong, and I had been confused by how Gabriel had such a strong intuition that they would be a good victim.
Now I knew his method. He was picking girls who looked like me, that had to be it. It couldn’t be a coincidence that these girls possessed such unique characteristics, all of the things which had given me my distinctive appearance.
I may have connected the motivation for Gabriel’s odd choices but I hadn’t come any closer to working out the reasons behind it. Maybe I should be flattered: it might be his love for me seeping from his subconscious and imprinting itself on his choices.
I doubted that. Vampires don’t pick people without good reason. They may not be the most desirable kill around but they always serve some purpose, and Gabriel must know why he chose these women.
I started to worry, as I always did when it came to issues involving Gabriel. Maybe he was trying to symbolically kill me by killing these women. He held such a strong anger towards me that he felt he had to kill these look a likes in order to feel some kind of release.
Part of me hoped Gabriel would have spoken to me if he was having any doubts about our relationship, but I had seen some of his reckless actions in the past. It was doubtful that he thought about the consequences of his actions at all.
I had to speak to him. That would be the only way to resolve my issues. There may be some obvious explanation for everything. I told myself that it would be nothing, that I should calm down and give Gabriel a chance to explain himself.
Deep down I suppose I knew something more was going on. It was odd, picking out girls to kill who look just like your lover. It could be a gesture of love if you tell your partner, but this case was different. I had hoped everything between us was back to normal and firmly on the right track, but now I was starting to have my doubts.
I took a deep stabilising breath. Despite the fact that it offered no biological benefits, it steadied me and comforted me. I turned to face the bathroom door, where Gabriel was cleaning blood from his shirt, and waited.
I had questions that needed answers, and nothing was going to stop me.
Gabriel walked out from the bathroom, the blood cleared from his face and hands. The dim light framed his face and highlighted his unrivalled beauty. I hated questioning him, in case it led to a fight. I couldn’t lose him again.
I knew this was far too serious to ignore. I needed to know why Gabriel was choosing my blonde doppelgangers to be his victim. I had a right to know what it meant for me and for our relationship.
He could see that something wasn’t right as soon as he looked at my face. I was never very good at hiding my feelings and thoughts from him. He sat down on the floor next to me. I was surprised that he was putting himself at my level. During our fights he would always put himself at a higher position to keep his control, but now he was staring me right in the face.
“What’s wrong?” He said. He ran his hand gently across my exposed calves and avoided looking at my disappointed expression.
Where to start? There were so many ideas running through my head but I had no idea if it was all just paranoia. What if he shot me down and refused to answer? Then I might be more confused than ever.
“All the girls you’ve been picking to be our victims.” I paused, trying to sort through the thoughts running through my head. “They all look like me.”
I couldn’t look at him. If I looked at him then I might see something I didn’t like in his face: shock at being caught out or rage at being wrongly accused.
He took his hand away from my leg and I knew, without even looking at him, that he was less than pleased.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him. “Are you accusing me of something, because you should just come out and say it.”
I hadn’t wanted it to go this way. I had wanted him to shake his head and tell me I was just being silly. I had wanted everything to work out and go back to the easy contentment we had been enjoying before my revelation.
“I’m just worried. You can’t deny that you pick blonde, skinny girls who look like me. I’ve been trying to work it out but I don’t know why. Maybe you just have a type, I don’t know.” I could hear my voice getting louder and more shrill as I went on. I saw Gabriel shaking his head, trying to make me feel stupid.
“You have a lot of explaining to do, Gabe. Are you mad at me or something? Is that why you’re killing these girls who look like me? While we’re at it what about all these phone calls? Who the hell is your “business partner” and why are they so important all of a sudden?” I was yelling by this point and I could feel my whole body tensing in anger.