Camryn wiped the chocolate off her niece’s face with a napkin. “When adults drink too much alcohol they get sick the next day. They call it hung over.”
“Hung over what?”
“A slang term for a sickness that carries to the next day.”
She had yet to look at him. He felt like a piece of meat tossed to the side. At least he could blame his mood on alcohol or sleep deprivation if anyone asked. Technically he was still her boyfriend, so pretenses needed to be made. But the second they were alone…
Bernice stood. “If you guys want to make your flight, we should get going on the gift opening.”
The family rose from the table like a swarm. Troy stayed where he was until the room emptied except for Cam and Bernice. Cam helped Justin’s mom clear away the plates and clean up the kitchen.
“I’m so sad you’re leaving today. You’ll have to come back and visit us again.”
Camryn placed a hand on Bernice’s arm. “I would love to. Thank you again for everything. Your home is beautiful, and you made Heather’s day lovely.”
Bernice nodded and left for the living room, where a shouting match had already ensued over whether to open the cards or presents first. Camryn dropped her elbows on the counter and rubbed her forehead.
Now or never. Tell her he loved her or watch her run. Fight for happiness or live in regret. There was no option really. Panic set in just the same.
“I have a sure-fire cure for a headache.”
Her head whipped up. “I didn’t know you were still in here.”
“Obviously. We need to talk.”
She straightened. “Not now, Troy.”
“Yes, now.”
Shaking her head, she pivoted and headed toward the hallway.
Do not let her run. Do not let her get away.
He was off his chair and across the room before she could even hit the doorway. He closed his hand over the doorframe, blocking her exit.
“Troy, let me go.”
Laughable statement. “I can’t.” Frustrated, he ran his free hand through his hair. “See, that’s a huge problem. I can’t seem to let you go, Cam.”
“Camryn!” her mother shouted from the other room. “Get in here.”
She turned to go, he grabbed her arm.
“Listen to me. The list started out with me wanting to show you how to live, how to love. I wanted you to believe in those things too. You’re too smart a woman, Cam, to not believe love exists. I wanted to show you that the things your ex said weren’t true.” He knew he was talking too fast, knew he sounded like a rambling moron, but she had to see the whole picture. “Things changed, though, after I kissed you. Then it wasn’t about you believing in love. It was about you falling in love with me.”
She gasped, looking doubtful and innocent as her eyes rounded. Had no one told her they loved her before?
“Did it work, Cam? Did you fall in love with me?”
“Camryn!” This time the order came from Nana.
God, could they shut up for once? Just once? “She’ll be there in a damn minute,” he yelled, scrubbing his hands down his face.
“Troy?” she squeaked out. Disbelieving. Traumatized.
Damn it. He sucked at this. She sucked at this. “What if this wasn’t for pretend?”
She stared at him, her beautiful hazel eyes pleading for him to stop. Her mouth trembled open to probably tell him no.
He cut her off. “Go out with me.”
She blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Go out with me. On a date. Not just here, but for real.”
She swallowed. A fleeting look of hope registered on her face. “You’re insane.”
His hands dropped to his hips. “Yes, but for a week, so were you. We were in this together. This is crazy.
We’re
crazy. But it feels right. I want you, Cam. Not just pretending for a week, but for more. Make this real and…”
“I can’t believe this!” They turned and saw Fisher standing in the other doorway.
“Are you kidding me?” Fisher barked, the question obviously rhetorical. “You lied? This was all a damn lie!”
“What’s going on in there?”
Before Troy could even open his mouth, or punch his best friend in the face, the entire clan had invaded the kitchen.
“What’s all the yelling about?” her mother demanded.
“They lied,” Fisher screamed. “They’re not dating. They made the whole effing thing up.”
In unison, the collective whole turned to stare at them.
“Is that true, Camryn?” Dad asked.
Camryn’s eyes closed. He watched her fight for control, wanting that superpower. And as his gut knotted, he recognized the shame on her face.
“Answer him!” Fisher demanded. “Tell them how this was all a joke. Did you think this was funny?”
Troy stepped forward, to do what, he didn’t know, but Camryn interrupted him mid-stride.
“No,” she said softly. With finality. She directed her gaze at him, as if answering his declaration from before. He couldn’t tell what she referred to. No to Fisher’s question, or no to him. All he did know was his blood stopped circulating, and the cold he’d fought so hard to banish returned.
Clearing her throat, she raised her voice. “It wasn’t meant to be a joke. But it is true. We lied.
I
lied,” she corrected. “Troy was nice enough to go along with it. We’re not dating. We never were.” She looked around the kitchen at her family, one by one. “I asked him to do this because…” She trailed off, her gaze growing distant. “It doesn’t matter why now. I’m sorry. Don’t blame him. This is all my fault. Like everything else.”
The room fell silent for all of five seconds before Nana laughed.
“I told you so! I told you he’d never date her!”
Pause. Shock. Then the kitchen commenced to chaos. Everyone shouting, arms flailing, their true Serbian temper erupting through the air like a Carolina heat wave.
I don’t believe it!
But they were kissing!
Where’s the real boyfriend?
She probably lied about that too!
Troy looked at Camryn for a reaction. Her glazed eyes focused on the counter in front of her. Her hands clutched the granite with such force that her knuckles were white. Like being trapped in the eye of a storm, they stood there while everything around them swirled and flew to Kingdom Come.
She told the family it was a lie. She never responded when he told her how he felt. Everything he ever hoped for ripped away. His whole life, all he ever wanted was love. Someone to love him because no one ever had.
Perhaps she was right after all. True love didn’t exist. It was just some fruitless dream he created to survive.
Tears welled in her eyes, fell down her cheeks. “This was a mistake,” she whispered through the anarchy, probably for her ears only.
But he heard. Loud and clear.
Chapter Twenty-One
Life Lessons According to Camryn:
No one’s born smart, but one does have to work awfully hard to stay stupid.
The fasten seatbelt light chimed off as her mother continued her babbling about not understanding why Camryn had lied. Troy was sitting with her dad a few rows up. He looked every bit as miserable. At least he was miserable in silence. Mom didn’t know when to shut up.
Camryn directed her gaze out the window, trying to tune out the noise. Her seat was right on the left wing, reminding her of an old
Twilight Zone
episode. A gremlin appeared on the wing with a grin straight out of hell. The ugly little creature pointed to the exhaust propeller, silently questioning whether to mangle it in her honor. She almost smiled and nodded, imagining the plane going down in a smoldering pile of ash. John Lithgow replaced her mother in the next seat, violently shaking his head.
A hand closed over hers, drawing her back.
“Camryn,” she pleaded. “Please, just tell me why you did this.”
If her family wasn’t so damn adamant about her finding a man and marrying in the first place, none of this would’ve happened.
“Maybe I just got sick and tired of not being good enough. Maybe I just got sick of being the butt of every family joke. Sick to death of having marriage rammed down my throat. I thought if I showed up with someone, you’d leave me alone.”
Tears formed in her mother’s eyes. “Oh, Cam. We just want you happy.”
“I was perfectly happy before this trip.”
“You think you were happy? Happy was watching you and Troy together. That was the first time I’ve seen you happy in years.” Her mother gripped her hands in hers. “Maybe it wasn’t all a lie. Maybe you could work it out…”
She pulled her hands back. “There you go again. I don’t need to be with someone to be happy. I’m not like the rest of you, depending on others for contentment. It was a lie, and it’s over.”
A lie that felt awfully true. The pain in her chest confirmed. And she was happy with Troy. She may not have realized it at the time, but she did now. She wished she never knew the feeling, lived the rest of her life in ignorant bliss.
Her mother wiped her eyes. “I pushed you too hard. I didn’t mean to. We never worried about you like we did for Fisher and Heather. Except when it came to love. It’s not that you’re not good enough, Cam. You’re so successful in your career. You have a stable life. But that’s not happiness.” She sighed, staring at her hands in her lap. “I just wanted you to love someone, like I love your father. To know what that feels like.” Swallowing, she looked back at her. “Love isn’t giving up your identity and independence, it’s sharing your life with them. Having someone to wake up next to and go to bed with at night.”
Sighing, Camryn felt her anger drain. Perhaps she’d misunderstood all along, just like the beautiful thing with her father. How wrong she’d been about so many things. But not where Troy was concerned. “I appreciate your intentions, Mother. But Troy and I never were anything but an illusion. Now, drop it, please. I’m tired. Okay?”
Disappointment distorted her mom’s face before she nodded and reluctantly turned away. Camryn glanced out the window, but the gremlin was gone.
What a shame.
After a few minutes, Emily climbed over Mom’s lap to sit in Camryn’s.
“Mommy says maybe I should stay with you tonight. ’Cause you’re lonely.”
Camryn slowly closed her eyes and opened them. She had a job interview in Milwaukee tomorrow. Afterward, she planned on going apartment hunting before meeting with Maxwell in Chicago. Having Emily with her tonight would combat the loneliness she refused to acknowledge aloud.
“Sounds like a plan. We’ll watch a movie.”
“With cockporn?”
Instead of correcting her niece, she smiled. “Sure. With cockporn.”
After Camryn dropped off Emily at her parents’ house, she battled the late-morning traffic toward downtown Milwaukee. She was rethinking her apartment hunt in the western suburbs to forgo the rush hour commute. Then again, Milwaukee traffic couldn’t hold a candle to Chicago’s. Finally seeing her exit, she blew out a relieved breath.
She’d left in plenty of time, but as she pushed the elevator button and checked her watch, she was only five minutes early. She was hoping to make a better impression than this. Of the three interviews lined up, this was the job she wanted. If she didn’t get any of them, she may be forced to stay at her parents for a while.
Shuddering at the thought, she exited the elevator and checked in at the front desk. Before she could sit in the waiting area as directed, a man poked his head around the corner and called her name. He looked like he’d just woken up from a frat house drinking bender.
“I’m Trevor. If you could follow me back, we’ll get started.”
She did as asked, noting his dark mass of hair was arranged in a seemingly purposeful bed head look. His jeans were frayed at the hem. He had on a blue polo—untucked.
Dear God. Please be the IT guy and not my possible new boss
.
She followed him back to a spacious office with a great view of Lake Michigan. Sailboats dotted the water in the far distance. Action figures lined the shelves behind his desk. Spiderman. Captain Kirk. Yoda. A Ryan Braun bobble head. Creepy, those bobble head things. She sat in a chair across from him, watching all the eyes staring back at her.
“So,” he started. “Tell me a bit about yourself.”
Her gaze darted back to the boy-child. Why did they always ask this question in interviews? How was she supposed to answer this?
“I’m from Milwaukee, but I’ve been working in marketing in Chicago since I graduated. I’m very organized…”
He waved his hand to cut her off. “No, no. I know all that. I have your resume. Tell me about
you
.”
Her life in Chicago flashed through her memory. The secretaries calling her
The Ice Queen
. Spending weeknights, and most weekends, alone. Working crazy long hours to fill in the void. Eating lunch alone at her desk because everyone was too scared to talk to her. The only office Christmas card she got was from her secretary, who was probably too threatened not to send one.
As she looked at the man in front of her, she made a decision. She would get this job. She would make friends here. She would not be a stiff flagpole who censored everything she said. She would be personable and friendly and…