The Drazen World: The Lesson (Kindle Worlds Novella) (6 page)

Jon,

"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories..."

Thank you for the early spring.

M.

I managed to slip out and made my way back to the dorm unnoticed, successfully avoiding getting caught making the Sunday morning walk of shame.

Over the next few days, I tried to lose myself in the daily grind, avoiding the Sports Complex as much as possible without drawing unneeded attention. I was using work to avoid thinking about what had happened, but Jon Drazen kept creeping into my thoughts and dreams. I definitely wasn't ready to
see Jon and pretend nothing happened—or worse, see him with a flavor of the week—especially with his marks all over my body. That thought made me physically ill.

I had to wear my hair down all week to cover the love bites along my jawline and neck, but they held my fascination when I was alone. As the week went on, the bruises faded, leaving me inexplicably sad. Actually, there was a perfectly good explanation for my sadness, but I refused to acknowledge it.

I’d figured that it would take me a few days to school my reactions to him, then no one would realize that things had changed between us. Saturday had been, for all intents and purposes, a negotiated scene—a very successful one at that—but I couldn't shake the feeling, and fear, that it had been something more.

All the thinking that I was unsuccessfully trying to avoid brought me a moment of clarity. After last Saturday, it was clear that I needed more adventure complete with laughter, wrong turns, and skinned knees. All of those had been in short supply since Mom died. To ensure the laughter, I would have to share the journey. Jon was a complication I truly didn't need, but I nevertheless longed for. A brilliant, sexy, charismatic man on the brink of becoming someone entirely new. Lucius had already found his way in life and the bedroom. He already owned his place in the world and decided on the type of woman that would fit into it. With Lucius, I'd feel like a doll he could bend and mold into a model submissive for his world. The process—and it was a process, complete with a virtual checklist and progress reports—was all Germanic efficiency, no detours, no mistakes, indulgence but little deviation from his plan. Jon's a kindred spirit. We could explore and experiment together without the burden of a "plan."
I need to shake things up and throw away the checklists and routines. Can I survive the cataclysmic changes someone like Jonathan Drazen would bring to my life? Probably not.
It was a moot point. Bailing before dawn had made it abundantly clear to him that Saturday was a one-time thing.

Then Saturday rolled around again, and I couldn't avoid an appearance at Kovac’s. Lucius would be sure to hear about it if I dropped off the radar, and nobody needed
that
lecture. I made my way to Kovac’s, sporting my favorite chunky knit, black turtleneck, a black hobble skirt, and my beloved Docs. A bourbon in hand, I queued up a melancholy mix of The Smiths, Aztec Camera, and Kate Bush. I settled onto my regular stool and started working on a new plan. The Jonathan plan was a non-starter. Maybe one of the art school hang outs—the conservation lab girls were always after me to join them—meet some people. Maybe next week. That was as good a plan as any.

The door flung open, and cold air jolted me out of my half-hearted scheming. A familiar hand clutching my black beret suddenly appeared in my peripheral vision. The scent of sandalwood and Jon
athan
Drazen engulfed me, making me giddy.

He leaned over my shoulder and purred directly into my ear, the vibration making me wild, "You forgot something." I turned toward his voice, and he captured my mouth, kissing me so thoroughly he silenced all the protests bubbling to my lips. "You left without saying good-bye."

"No, you forgot something. We agreed. We can't—"

He put his index finger to my lips and shushed me.
Smart man. Don't let me talk myself out of this.
The square inch of contact was too much. I unconsciously parted my lips oh so slightly, welcoming him in.

"We agreed that we have to be discreet. That's it. And I have been and will always be. The last thing we need is for the team or my family to find out what we are to each other. The fallout would be epic."

"What are we—to each other?" It was barely a whisper.

"Such a question from the girl who quotes
An Affair to Remember.
That is not a discussion that I am willing to rush through in public. But know this—our scene last week taught me something. I learned that I'm willing to do things with and for you, I might not otherwise consider. I also learned that I don't like to share. I especially don't like to share you." He stepped back and held out his hand. "We have so much to teach each other. You're coming?" His commanding tone turned the question to a promise.

I looked at his hand then into those beautiful tourmaline eyes, and I saw my world of alternatives there. I put mine in his, and we walked out into the snowy night to figure the rest of it out together.

PLAYLIST

This Charming Man
by The Smiths

Spanish Bombs
by The Clash

Shout to the Top
by The Style Council

Don't Go
by Yaz

Alone Again Or
by The Damned

Cities in Dust
by Siouxsie and the Banshees

Ccccan't You See
by Vicious Pink

Sea of Sin
by Depeche Mode

#1 Crush
by Garbage

This Woman's Work
by Kate Bush

How Men Are
by Aztec Camera

Midnight
by Yaz

Reel around the Fountain
by The Smiths

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Thank you, Christine, from the bottom of my heart, for all the love and faith you've shown by entrusting your beloved Drazens to the hands of fledgling writers like me. Living with Jonathan Drazen's voice in my head for the last few weeks was the scariest, sexiest fun I've had with my clothes on. You're a lucky woman to have had him all to yourself for so long. I hope I've done him and you justice. Thank you for the beautiful cover as well. I've always dreamt of having my name backed by your beautiful wall of words.  It means the world to me.

Cassie Cox, you are a treasure.  I am so grateful for your patience and guidance.  I couldn't have asked for a better editor. Thank you.

Thanks to my fellow Drazen World Authors for all the support and hand holding, especially D.B and Kristi. I never would have gotten to the end of this tunnel without you. I hope our adventure continues.

Thanks to my notches. You know who you are. You gave me the confidence to take this leap. I promise we'll get Tawdry Tuesday back on track.

Finally, thank you for spending some time with Messalina and her secret someone. I hoped you enjoyed my take on Jonathan's college years. I'd love to hear from you. Drop me a line at [email protected]