Authors: Lisa Dawn Wadler
Chapter 20
She stared into Ian’s face as he rested on his elbows above her; she traced the stubble that appeared every morning. Claire was still breathing too hard as she eased her legs from their tight grip on his waist. His eyes were warm and gentle as a smile slid across his mouth.
“Good morrow, sweeting.” With a kiss to her lips, he said, “I can nay think of a finer way to welcome the new day.” Ian gazed to where their bodies were still joined.
Light streamed in from the window. She had meant to leave at first light, but waking him to say she was leaving had led to her staying. She returned his grin. “I thought I said I was going to get dressed and you should go back to sleep.”
“I dinna believe you complained about staying a wee bit longer with me.” Settling on his side, Ian pulled her into his embrace. “‘Tis too hard to find sleep again without you tucked into me.”
Claire forced herself to move away from his warmth. With a quick kiss, she sat up in bed and wished she were someone who could go back to sleep. “Too late, I’m up. Go back to sleep. I will see you at the meal.” Her vocabulary had changed, and she liked it. Her movements felt heavy as she rose and dressed, and she was unable to stop the yawn that escaped as she stretched.
“You are still tired. Come back to bed, sweeting.” Ian offered with a mischievous grin.
“Then going back to bed will not help.” Claire laughed while she sat to lace her boots and Ian struggled to sit up.
“One week in my bed and you are already tired? Come, we will sleep some more, I promise.” Ian’s grin revealed the thought on how he planned to wake her up later.
While the offer held temptation, she wanted to be gone before the household woke. “I need to go. Go back to sleep.” The kiss goodbye resulted in Ian grabbing her, and he gently threw her back on the bed to land on top of her. “Let me up. I’m leaving.”
“What will you do this day, sweeting?”
Her hands ran over his strong shoulders. “The sun is finally out after a couple of days of rain. My guess is that Neala will want to get some laundry done.”
“Fine. Your skills are nay required for such tasks. There are plenty of lasses here to accomplish the work. I am planning to ride out to meet with the men who care for the livestock. The day would be far sweeter if you joined me.”
Who could refuse?
“That sounds great. When do you want to go?” She was excited at the thought of leaving the grounds as realized she hadn’t been farther than the village since her arrival.
“Mid-morning. Mayhap you can ask the kitchen to pack us a meal. We can eat outside after the business is finished.”
Claire smiled at Ian perched over her and rewarded his idea with a warm kiss. “I like the sound of that.”
She wasn’t surprised Ian took full advantage of the situation. He deepened their kiss, and she questioned if she would ever get enough of him. Against her better judgment, her mouth opened to allow his tongue’s exploration. Even after a night of very little sleep, her body tingled with anticipation of what could happen next.
The question danced in her mind.
Why would I ever want to leave this bed?
Footsteps in the corridor provided the answer. She preferred everyone not know where she spent her nights, at least not yet. The hand on the laces of her gown was pushed away as the fear of being discovered crossed her mind.
“Off me, Ian. I would prefer to have my bath before Cerwyn wants his meal.” She took full advantage of his lax posture, and with a shift of her hips and a push on his thigh, she forced Ian off and onto his back. She landed to sit on top of him. “Maybe now I can get out of this chamber.”
Ian lifted his eyebrow. “‘Tis a fine move, lass. But why leave now when I am at your mercy?” Ian pulled her down and peppered light kisses against her neck.
Claire knew if she didn’t leave now then she never would. She said, “I’m off to the baths. Go back to sleep.” She lifted herself off of Ian and scrambled to the floor. He rose from the bed and followed her to the door. A naked Ian wrapped his arms around her waist and held her against his chest. “I thought you wanted to go back to sleep?”
“I merely wished to make sure you made it safely to the door, sweeting.” He turned her to face him, and his grin gave away the falsehood in the statement. “There will be no more sleep for either of us this morn. Go to your bath. I will see you at the meal.”
Caught in her gaze, Ian’s face was an open book. Claire knew he understood her desire to keep this from being household gossip. “I will see you in a little bit.” With a quick kiss, she left the chamber.
The smile fell from her face as the door closed from behind as a voice called out, “Claire, is that you?”
With a heart that beat far too quickly, panic consumed her at the scene that was to come. “It’s me, Mairi. Let me explain.”
Mairi stepped back into her chamber. “Quickly, come in, before you are seen.”
She followed Mairi into the room, grateful that the confrontation would be private. Once the door closed, the stench hit her hard. It had only been four days since the room was cleaned. The air was simply foul.
Mairi paced and shook her head in an obvious attempt to clear her thoughts. “I saw you, Claire. I saw you leave the laird’s chamber. What have you done?”
“Please, Mairi, let me explain it to you. There is a lot you don’t know.” The girl paced, and Claire mentally prepared for the outburst.
Mairi fell to her knees in front of her. “You have sinned, Claire. Sinned for me. When we prayed for deliverance, I did nay ken what form it would take.” Mairi grabbed Claire’s hands. “You have saved me. No one has even lifted a finger to help me. Yet, you risk the fires of hell to save me from him.”
Mairi’s reaction completely mystified her. She was prepared for a rant of sin or anything other than this. Filthy hands wrapped around hers, and Claire found that Mairi’s gratitude tasted bitter. There was no honor in the deception. She finally answered, “Mairi, I didn’t do this for you. I did this for me.”
Mairi’s laughter came out like a squeak. “Dinna you see, Claire? The prayers worked. The Lord has saved me because my prayers are so strong. Finally, he has heard me. Will the laird now cancel the marriage? Can I go back now?”
Now she had to be the one to tell her nothing had changed. “No, Mairi. You will still marry. I can’t change that for you.”
“I understand, Claire. My dowry is still wanted.” Mairi said as she lowered her head.
She knelt beside the girl. “I’m glad you understand. This is your home now. Remember, we talked about that.”
“I remember. But now he has you. He will take out his evil lusts on you. I shall find some peace, won’t I?”
She knew there were way too many devils in the details to contemplate this conversation. “Yes, Mairi, most nights the laird will spend with me.”
Mairi nodded. “You sin for me, Claire. I will pray. I will pray every day for your soul. I promise you, my days will be spent repaying you.”
A sad smile covered her face.
Mairi should be outraged, not thankful.
“Thank you, Mairi. Your prayers are a kind offer.”
Mairi rose to pace again. “‘Tis nay enough. Tell me how I can thank you. Anything, Claire, anything for you.”
I shouldn’t take advantage, but opportunities like this are going to be rare.
Claire said, “There is a way you can thank me.” She led Mairi by the hand and led her to the door. “Come with me. You are going to take a bath.” When panic filled Mairi’s face, she added, “Where I am from, they say that cleanliness is next to godliness.”
“I trust you, Claire. But I will nay enjoy this pleasure for the flesh.”
The pair walked hand in hand toward Neala, who waited to assist her as she did every morning. “Mairi would like a bath, please.” Claire returned her attention to the bride. “Mairi, this bath will involve a lot of scrubbing. There will be little to enjoy.”
Encouraged that there were no further complaints, the two women led Mairi to the bathing chamber. Thankfully, Neala took charge of the situation. Women were sent to clean the chamber and instructed to bring clean clothes. Neala was to do the actual bathing. Claire’s only role now was to keep Mairi as calm as possible. Finally, four hair washes and two body scrubbings later, Neala declared it done. The housekeeper helped the girl rise from the bath.
Claire found herself comparing her figure and Mairi’s as she helped to dry her hair. She noted the sagging of her flabby body, the skin marred from body acne and most likely poor hygiene, and knew she was much better looking naked. Claire forced the nasty thoughts away.
Any physical comparison would only lead to resentment toward Mairi, and she’ll never understand why.
“These are nay my clothes,” Mairi said as Neala held up a clean gown for her to wear.
“They are now, my lady. The lasses have worked hard to make new, more appropriate gowns for you. ‘Tis my hope it pleases you.” Neala’s response was formal and surprised Claire as she had never heard the woman so distant.
“Should I keep this on?” Mairi asked clearly confused.
“Yes, Mairi. It is much more appropriate and quite lovely,” Claire said. The gown was simple, light green, and laced up the front. Yet even clean Mairi was still Mairi. She had to squint to see anything with her small, dark eyes. No wardrobe would hide the fact the girl was short and fat. The skin on her face and body was marred by acne and the scarring left behind. Claire knew it was wrong to note all of this, but she couldn’t stop her mind from cataloging the physical flaws.
“May I return to my chamber now?” Mairi’s agitation grew more obvious with the request.
“There is no permission needed. I shall escort you myself. Some food will be brought to your chamber if you prefer.” Neala’s voice was curt and polite.
There was no reply they understood, so Neala led Mairi to the door. Neala spoke to Claire while she led Mairi out. “Child, leave the mess for now. The lasses will come to clean this chamber. Use the other one. ‘Tis already late, and the wee one wakes any time now.”
She smiled at the soft command and the clear affection. “Thank you, Neala, for all of your help this morning.”
“Dinna thank me. I believe you ken how pleased I am to have this done. I will bring you a clean gown. Enjoy your bath.” Neala turned her attention back to the muttering Mairi. “Come now, my lady, back to your chambers.”
Claire made her way to the adjoining chamber and hoped a soak in the tub would help her make sense of what had just happened and maybe wash away the guilt that threatened to consume her.
After wiping away the mess from Cerwyn’s face and hands, Claire said, “I’m not sure if you eat more or wear more.” She was rewarded with his laughter, but loud voices from the kitchen caught her attention. With Neala not in sight, she scooped up the child and made her way to the kitchen. Tavis’s voice was harsh and angry. “I said this is nay to be used today!” Two young men carried in casks of some type of beverage through the kitchen door. Tavis attempted to block Finella from the casks and was entirely unsuccessful.
Noting the angry posture of the small guardian of the kitchen, Claire asked, “Is there a problem?”
Tavis turned his large belly to her, and with a face red with frustration, retorted, “Aye, there is a problem. The daft old woman does nay understand this ale is nay to be opened. ‘Tis for the day after the marriage, and it needs to be stored away and placed safely out of reach.”
She knew full well Finella understood all of this. Claire tried to keep the amusement out of her voice. “You can leave it to my care. I will have it stored beneath the kitchens in the back storeroom. None will touch it there, I promise.”
Tavis snarled, “You had best see it remains there until I give permission for its use.”
Shifting Cerwyn further back on her hip, Claire replied, “I already gave you my word.”
With a slow hint of a smile, Tavis said, “Then see to it. The ale is a special gift to celebrate the marriage. It has a time and place.”
Tavis’s mocking grin sent chills down her spine. “The men will move it now.” Directing the two young men to where to place the casks, she turned back to Laird Tavis. “See, it is already done. Is there anything else you need?”
“Only for you to enjoy the ale,” Tavis replied with a smirk.
“While I’m sure it’s a fine gift, I’ll pass. I never developed a taste for it, which will leave more for everyone else to enjoy. Do you require anything else?”
“Where is laird Ian? I now carry the contracts and need to speak with him.”
The finality of the statement stopped Claire for just a moment. Everything had become more real. She stumbled over her words. “I’m not quite sure at the moment. He has not eaten yet, perhaps you will find him in the hall.” Grateful as Tavis left, she focused her attention back to Cerwyn. “You were very good just now. Thank you for staying so quiet.” The child snuggled into her neck.
“Are you okay, Finella?” The wink given answered the question. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” A quick laugh from the older woman and a pat on the arm put the issue to rest.
“While I’m here, could I ask for a meal to be packed? Ian and I are going to check on the livestock and will miss the midday meal.” Claire winced as Finella winked at the request. No one fooled this woman; she was aware of everything.
She was surprised to hear the woman answer her. “Aye, Claire.” That may have been the only time she had heard her give a direct answer.
Shooed out of the kitchen, Cerwyn found his voice again. “Run, Larry. We run now.”
With a smile for the chubby face with brilliant green eyes, she said, “Just for a little bit.” She walked out into the sunshine through the kitchen door and into the grass of the gardens.
“Claire! Claire, ‘tis past time to be leaving.” Ian’s voice caught her attention as she chased Cerwyn to the front of the keep.