The Doll’s House (38 page)

She looked up sharply, caught off guard. ‘I've already given Jim Parker a report.'

‘I know,' he said cheerfully, ‘I've read it. I'm just dotting the Is and crossing the Ts, that's all. You were very clever making him fall in love with you; it can't have been easy with a man like that. Was he a good lover?'

Rosa felt a deep flush spread across her face; she felt wildly angry as she looked into the mild eyes with their friendly enquiry.

‘There's no need to be embarrassed,' he went on. ‘Enjoying sex is not a crime.'

‘I'm not in the least embarrassed. I think the question's irrelevant and I don't intend to answer it.'

‘Do sit down, Mrs Bennet,' he said. ‘So I can assume that he was a good lover. Please – just a few more questions, and they are relevant, I promise you. He fell in love with you, but you didn't fall in love with him. Is that right?' He didn't wait for an answer.

‘Of course you were vulnerable; marriage just broken up, a very unsettling experience for any attractive woman. He had a lot of charm, our friend Harry … devil-may-care, I heard someone say about him once. Nice old-fashioned description but it's apt … You were given a wide brief, after all. If you had to sleep with him in the line of duty, so be it. But you weren't in love with him.'

Rosa clenched both hands at her sides to stop herself slapping him across his blandly inquisitive face. ‘I deny that absolutely. I object to this sort of inquisition, Mr Mackay, and I'm not going to put up with it. Will you please leave!'

He didn't move. He crossed one leg slowly over the other and settled deeper into his chair.

‘If you weren't in love with him, why did you help him get away?'

She caught a breath. ‘How dare you say that! How dare you accuse me!'

‘Your instructions were to call Parker in a crisis,' he remarked. ‘Why didn't you do it till the next morning?'

She glared at him, and tears came into her eyes. She blinked them back and said in a voice that shook with anger, ‘Have you
any
idea of the state I was in after being in that chair? I'd vomited my insides out – I'd wet myself – I was half conscious! You think I could have used a telephone? Have you ever shaken so badly you thought you'd die if it didn't stop? No, I bet you haven't or you wouldn't talk to me like this!'

He said sadly, ‘You were well enough to lie to the doctor … Dr Frazer showed us his notes. Food poisoning, oysters, isn't that what you told him? Why did you lie, Mrs Bennet? Why didn't you ask him to call Parker's number for you?'

‘I told you – I was shattered, I couldn't even think straight.'

She was quieter now, seeing the trap and trying to retreat, he decided.

‘You bought time for Oakham, didn't you? Was it because he'd saved your life?' He'd given her a way out.

‘I don't know. I don't know …'

‘I think you do,' he countered. ‘You're a very decisive lady, and a tough one. I think you knew exactly what you were doing. You were letting him run for it.

‘Do cry if you want to, don't mind me. It can be a great help sometimes. Why not trust me, Mrs Bennet? You're an intelligent lady, and ambitious. You don't want to ruin your future for the sake of Harry Oakham. He's a liar, a traitor to his country, a murderer … He is a very
bad
man, even if he did have a soft spot for you at the end.'

He knew he'd won when she swung round to face him. She was white-faced.

‘But not too bad for people like you to use him, was he? You talk about lying. Did Parker tell me the truth about what happened to his wife Judith? No, of course he didn't! She was murdered in mistake for Harry, and everyone knew it. But they hushed it up.

‘You made full use of what that did to him, didn't you …? He was mad with grief, he tried to kill himself … He felt he was to blame. So you taught him how to kill for his country instead.

‘People like you and Jim Parker made him what he was, sitting behind your desks sending other men out to do the dirty work. You bloody hypocrites, you make me sick—'

‘And did he tell you this?'

‘No,' she spat back at him. ‘The Pole told me about it.'

‘The night you were rescued,' he remarked. ‘When you were so ill and confused and couldn't think straight?'

‘Go to hell.' Rosa had her back to him.

‘You sent him a note, didn't you, with a present. We found the note. What did you give him?'

‘Find out,' she said. ‘I hope you enjoyed reading what I said.'

‘Not really,' he stood up. ‘I just felt very sorry for you. You can go home tomorrow if you like. And by the way, a Commander Lucas from the American Embassy has been pestering the Foreign Office for news of you. They convinced him you'd left the hotel before the nastiness happened and were staying with friends. He seemed very concerned about you. No doubt he'll get in touch, so you know what the story is.'

‘Don't worry,' Rosa answered. ‘I've learned to lie with the best of you. I'd like to leave tonight.'

‘Make it tomorrow,' he suggested. ‘You've had a trying day. You'll feel better in the morning. I'll arrange a car for you. Good Lord, look at the time. I'd better be going. Thank you for being so frank with me. And good luck.'

He knew she would burst into tears when he left.

‘I shouldn't have chanced it,' Jim Parker said. He'd been waiting for Mackay in the staff quarters. They were having a drink together in the library of the fine old Victorian house. It was off limits to students.

‘It was my mistake. Just think how close it was to blowing up in our faces – if that bastard hadn't intervened and pulled her out in time, I don't know how we'd have explained it.'

He finished his Scotch. He was disturbed and Mackay understood why. He'd liked Rosa Bennet. He felt guilty because of what had happened to her and let down because she'd failed to measure up.

‘You can't entirely blame her,' he pointed out. ‘You saw that note; she was infatuated with him.'

‘I don't blame her,' Parker said sourly. ‘I blame myself for sending an amateur to do a professional's job. I don't think infatuation's the right word. Certainly not for him. That farewell letter he sent her – just as well she never got it.' Jane had given them Oakham's note.

Parker asked for a refill and Mackay got up and poured it for him. He was a friend as well as a colleague. They'd worked together for years. He came and sat down and gave Parker the drink.

He said, ‘Thanks to her we got O'Callaghan and her pals. That was worth it on its own. We can make quite a bit of capital out of that torture chamber and the chair. Might stop the bloody Dutch from turning a blind eye to what goes on in Amsterdam.

‘I wonder where he and that Pole are hiding?'

Jim Parker said angrily, ‘God knows; I've had the PM's office shouting the odds … What progress are we making? Why haven't we found them? I got so bloody fed up, I said they were certain to be out of the country by now.

‘Probably out that night by the skin of their teeth … Thanks to bloody Rosa Bennet. All you need is a couple of hours' start in a situation like that.'

‘What are you going to do about her?' Mackay asked.

Jim Parker didn't answer. He sat with the glass of whisky in his two hands and said nothing.

Mackay liked silences, he appreciated their purpose at times of decision. Then Parker looked up at him.

‘That letter he wrote,' he said. ‘I think she should get it.'

‘Why?' Mackay asked.

‘The way she reacted to you means that she's more committed to him than she realizes. Or wants to admit. He wrote all that stuff about wishing he could put the clock back and have a second chance to be with her in Brussels. I'm going to give him that chance, Peter. We'll tell that girl at the hotel she's to send on the letter – she'll do what she's told – I want to keep this going.

‘I'm going to see Bennet and tell her you behaved like a shit. We'll give her a commendation and the job as Second Secretary in Brussels.'

‘You think Oakham will be tempted to get in touch?'

‘He was always a risk-taker,' Parker muttered. ‘And he's gone over the top about her. You read the letter same as I did. I think there's a very good chance he'll try.'

‘She won't turn him in,' Mackay said flatly. ‘I'll guarantee that.'

‘She won't have to,' Parker answered. He lifted his glass to Peter Mackay. ‘Because we'll be there waiting for him. Cheers.'

‘Rosa, I wish you'd talk to me.' Dick Lucas reached out and took her hand. It was very thin; she'd lost a lot of weight.

‘I can't,' she said.

‘Don't you trust me?' She gripped his fingers for a moment.

‘You're about the only person I do trust,' she answered. ‘That was such a good dinner. You've been an angel to me, Dick. I don't deserve it.'

‘I think you do,' he said. ‘I'm a very domesticated guy. I like taking care of you, you know that.'

She'd been home for a day and a night when he called her. It had been a dreadful twenty-four hours. She had roamed the silent house, unable to sleep during the night, beset by memories and regrets. And afraid of putting the light out. She didn't like darkness any more.

Her mother had been easy to fob off; she'd been told the same story as Dick Lucas. Rosa wasn't anywhere near the Doll's House Manor Hotel; she'd left to visit friends some days before.

Rosa's mother had been quite cross with her for not communicating.

‘You might have thought I'd be worried when all that dreadful business came out on the news. You could at least have telephoned – you're very selfish.' Rosa hadn't argued. She'd just apologized and rung off.

She couldn't escape the lonely house by going to her mother. Questions and heavy-handed hints about how ill she looked and if only she had hung on to a good husband like James … it would have driven Rosa mad.

She stayed at home, but she wasn't sure how long she'd be able to cope with it. And then Dick Lucas called her and came round.

She'd been so glad to see him she'd burst into tears. He'd stayed the night. There was no lovemaking between them. He went to the spare room. There was something terribly wrong and he didn't press her. He just moved in and she let him.

He went to the Embassy during the day and came back in the evening. He cooked if she didn't feel like going out, and after the first week, he sat beside her, holding her hand and asked her to tell him what was wrong.

Rosa looked at him; he was kind and thoughtful. Loving. She shied away from the word.

‘What happened to you at that hotel?'

She shook her head. He went on quietly, ‘I guess you're under oath, is that it?'

‘Yes.'

‘You got caught up in that mess, didn't you, Rosa? You were there when it all happened. What were you doing? I think I can guess that too.'

‘I'm getting over it,' she said at last. ‘Thanks to you. I had a shock, I can tell you that much. It takes time to adjust.'

‘Whatever it was, I feel responsible,' he said. ‘I didn't come down that weekend.'

‘Don't be silly,' Rosa insisted. ‘You were on duty, you told me.'

‘Yeah, but I was jealous too. “Harry”. That's what you said and it got to me. You'd met some other guy down there. I hated the idea so much …'

She freed her hand and got up. ‘I'd like another cup of coffee, will you have one with me?'

‘I'll make it.'

He started to get up and she said quickly, ‘No, you cooked dinner. I'll make more coffee. Help yourself to a drink.'

She closed the door and went into the kitchen. He was an untidy cook; he'd left a bachelor's mess behind him.

She sat down waiting for the coffee to percolate through. He'd been so good to her, so patient. Very different from James. A million miles apart from Harry Oakham. Phrases from the letter forwarded to her by Jane floated through her mind.

‘I could have made sense of my life with you … But there are no second chances. I wish to God it had been different. My darling, believe this: I love you … That's the one true thing.'

She had read it and then torn it up. Into very small pieces. Parker had been the postmaster. Anything connected with Harry would have been confiscated and read. Parker wanted her to read it.

And Parker had come to see her that afternoon, with a ribbon-tied florist's bouquet, and apologized for Peter Mackay.

He'd been very solicitous, very complimentary. Sir Peter Jefford was giving her a personal commendation for what she'd done. It wouldn't be public, of course, but it would go on her Foreign Office file.

And the job at Brussels was waiting for her. It was the least they could do to show their appreciation.

The coffee bubbled, and she picked up the pot. It smelled rich. Dick got up and took it from her.

‘I got myself a Scotch,' he said. ‘Anything for you?'

‘No thanks. Give me your cup. My boss came to see me today.'

He sipped the coffee and said, ‘What did he say? Good news?'

‘They've held the Brussels posting open,' she answered.

‘Good news for you, bad news for me,' he remarked. ‘Means I'm going to lose you to some Belgian …' He made it light-hearted but it wasn't.

‘I'm not taking it,' Rosa said.

He couldn't help it. He grinned like a happy schoolboy. She remembered the silly moon face he'd drawn for her after the first night they spent together. ‘You're not? That's great – why not?'

Go to Brussels. Go back into the world of lies and double standards. Parker had been very sincere, very open with her. Just as he'd been when he sat where Dick Lucas was sitting at that moment, and talked about the enigma that was Harry Oakham.