The Dead of Winter (Seasons of Jefferson: Book 2) (24 page)

Me: Daemon, the French dude? Do you think that’s a good idea? You know he’s crushing on you. You’re not sending him the wrong signals, are you?

Jenna: He knows I’m all about Ty.

Me: I hope you’re right.

Jenna: So about Night of Lights?

Me: The Dash to the North Pole starts at 4:00. Can you pick me up by 1:00? We need to get down there early so we can sign up and get our list of tasks before the parade starts.

Jenna: Oh, I see how it is. I’m driving again?

Me: Just one more time. My arm is throbbing ;)!

Jenna: Better idea. Let’s hitch a ride with your parents. My car is not good in the snow, and my weather app says Mt. Shasta is in for a big one tonight.

Me: Sounds good. I’ll let my parents know they have two hitchhikers.

Jenna: It’s a date.

Me: See you then.

We pull into Mt. Shasta a little after 2:00. The street is bustling with people getting ready for the Christmas parade kickoff. Floats block the road, while horses jump around nervously from all the commotion. Santa hats bob along as people make their way to any opening to view the parade. “Son, there’s no parking on Mt. Shasta Boulevard. I’ve got to be at my checkpoint for Dash to the North Pole. The logging truck will be pulling in any minute. Take my keys and go park in front of the store.”

I have to drive? With all these people. Hell no
. “Seriously? I have to sign Jenna and me up for the Dash. Not to mention, you want us to walk all the way back up here in the snow and ice?”

“I’ll sign you kids up. Being a sponsor does have its perks. Plus, you don’t have to walk. There are trucks and sleigh rides leaving the parking lot every twenty minutes.”

“But Dad, they have carolers on them.”

He smirks. “It’s not going to hurt you to listen to a little Christmas music. It’s either clydesdales and carolers or hoofing it three blocks. Take your pick.”

I can tell I’m not going to win this one. He holds the keys out in front of me. I grab them from his hooked finger. “I’ll be back.”

As soon as my dad slides out of the truck, I turn to Jenna, “Here.”

“Here?”

“You’ve got to drive,” I quickly mutter, shoving the keys into her hand. I can’t handle the thought of driving these streets.
Why does it have to be so crowded?
I don’t want to hit anyone. I’m not in the right frame of mind to be driving. Sweat begins to pool around my hairline.

“Seriously? You really don’t want to drive your dad’s truck? I thought you lived to drive this rig.”

“I’m not feeling so good. It’s my arm.” I hope I sound convincing. I’m already having panic attacks from all the cars and people. It’s a swarming ant hill around here.

“Well, if you don’t want to, I have no problem taking her for a little spin.”

“Thanks.”

Jenna discreetly slides over my lap, switching me places. I’m so thankful that she’s the badass that she is. What other girl would take on the challenge of driving a truck this size in these crazy conditions?

Cautiously, she pulls away from the crowd, crosses the railroad tracks, and heads down to the store. The crowding somewhat subsides until we get into the parking lot where everyone is gathering to start the parade. I scan the crowd, looking for an open space, when my sister’s eyes meet mine. She’s next to Brody, sitting on the flatbed of a caroling truck. Her eyes track us until we’ve parked and stepped away from the truck.
Why does she look so unhappy?
Crap. She sees Jenna driving. I’m toast.

I swallow the lump in my throat as I take the keys from Jenna and lock the truck.
How am I going to explain this to T? I’m just going to pretend I didn’t see her watching me. I won’t bring it up if she doesn't.
“We’d better get over to the caroling truck before it takes off without us.”

The caroling truck begins to lurch forward as we scurry across the parking lot to try to catch it. It’s moving slow enough that I can jump on. Jenna still gallops behind, waiting for my help. I lower my hand and grip Jenna’s, pulling her up onto the flatbed.

“Wow, looks like your arm is doing better,” she grins.

“I guess it is.”
Wow.
I surprise myself.
That was the first time I haven’t thought about favoring my arm in a really long time.
I rotate my shoulder a couple times, just to make sure I haven’t re-injured it. Jenna watches my face closely. I can tell she’s checking for signs of pain. It feels alright. “I think I’m good.” I chuckle. I’m amused that I just used my arm without too much pain. “Come on. Let’s have a seat.” We climb up on the truck and sit down next to T.

She sits quietly for a moment, looking as though she wants to say something. She holds off for a few minutes until she finally decided to open up. “I’m telling.”

“You’re telling? Are we six now? What are you telling on?”

“Dad’s truck.”

“What do you mean, you’re telling on Dad’s truck? It didn’t do anything.”

“You know what I mean.”

I know exactly what she means, but I can’t let her know that. “What? He told us to bring it and park it down here. What’s the big deal?”

“I’m sure he did tell
you
to bring it down here. So why’s
Jenna
driving? You love driving Dad’s truck. Like I said … I’m telling.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is. Jenna’s a good driver … better than me.”

Kaitlyn narrows her eyes. “The big deal is that you haven’t driven since the accident. It’s been over a month, and you still won’t get behind the wheel. Something is wrong with you, Caden. Really wrong. I’m worried about you. Mom and Dad need to know. You need help.”

I hate being called out on my weaknesses, and if anyone knows my Achille’s heel it’s my sister. “Screw this.” I turn away from her and watch the carolers assembling for their first song. Their mouths begin to move in perfect O’s as
Carol of the Bells
starts ringing out around me. It starts out slow, but as the rhythm and volume of the song intensifies, my nerves begin twisting into knots.
This was supposed to be fun, and here I am, stuck in the middle of The Nightmare Before Christmas.
I begin to rebel against the injustice of being stuck on this truck with eighty year old Christmas carolers and a sister who needs to butt the hell out. Plugging both ears, I begin to shout,
“La la la la la la la la!”

I feel the heat creeping into my face. I push the grating voices from my mind.
Why can’t they understand why I don’t want to drive?
The last time I got behind the wheel, I killed my girlfriend. Maybe not her body, but her spirit. Now, she’s all but dead, and I have to live with the fact that it’s my fault.
I momentarily lose focus allowing the continuously looping
la la la la’s
and
ding dongs
to re-invade my senses.
Old lady voices. Ding dong, ding dong. Grating violins.
I want to take them and break them over something.
I feel the anger rage inside of me. I’ve had it. I’ve had it with Peyton. I’ve had it with T.
La la la la. La la la la. Ding dong, ding dong. Why are they trying to out-sing each other?
“For the love of God, make it stop!” I yell.

“Caden, what’s gotten into you? You’re going to hurt their feelings!” Kaitlyn puts her hand over my mouth.
I don’t have to take this. I don’t deserve this. I’m here to help people, not be driven out of my mind.
At this point, I’d do anything to stop this nightmare. I grab my ears to cover any further assault of
Carol of the Bells
.
It’s not working.
I look down at Jenna. “See you later.” I stand up, climb over the hay bale, and jump off the side of the truck, making a mad dash for Mount Shasta Boulevard.

As I approach the Italian restaurant I feel a quick tug on my shoulder. I jump from the sudden, unexpected touch. I turn around to see Jenna, “Holy Crap. You scared the hell out of me!”

“Good!”

“Good?”

“Maybe it will wake you up to the reality of this situation.”

“What situation?”

“He could still be out there, Caden. What happened to sticking together? You know damn good and well we aren’t supposed to go anywhere alone. You took off like a bat out of hell. What happened back there?”

“I was sick of it. That’s all.”

“Sick of what?”

“I just wanted to have fun today, and people are trying to force me to drive, force me to ride with old lady carolers, jump my shit for stuff beyond my control. I just want to have a good time for once, okay? We need to move on with our lives. I don’t want to think about it anymore. I don’t want to be reminded of it. I don’t want anything to do with it. I just want peace. I want to watch the parade, go do my good deeds for the dash, and enjoy a traditional, family Christmas. Is that too much to ask?”

Jenna stares at me with a look of understanding. After a moment of silence, she nods her head. “You’re right. That’s why we’re down here. We need to give you that Christmas. Let’s watch the parade and then find your dad to check on our team.”

I stare at Jenna for a minute. I’ve clearly upset her, and despite my ranting, she’s still standing here in front of me trying to get me through it. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For letting me vent. For sticking by me even when I’m an asshole. For making sure that I’m going to be okay. You’re a great friend. I don’t deserve you.”

“You’ll make it up to me,” she laughs, nudging my shoulder. “Oops, hang on a sec. My phone is buzzing in my pocket.” She holds her finger up to quiet me as she takes the call. “Hey Ty. Really? Oh, no. Yeah, I think so. No, I’m down in Mt. Shasta. Maybe. I’ll try my best. Sorry. No, I’m going to try. Okay. Give him a hug for me. See you soon.”

“Everything okay?”

“It’s Ty’s little brother. He had some complications with his diabetes yesterday. He’s still in the hospital. Looks like he’s going to be there overnight. Caden, it’s Christmas Eve. Parents usually have
a lot
to do on Christmas Eve. I need to get back up there to help Ty so his parents can stay at the hospital with Aiden. I didn’t drive, and I’m supposed to do the Dash to the Pole with you. What should I do?”

Jenna sounds desperate. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll tell you what. We’ll either let you take one of the store trucks or find T and Brody to get you back up to the hospital. Don’t worry about the Dash. They can always put me on an open team. There’s usually a handful that needs to pick up an extra person. Let’s get you up there to help your man.”

“Thanks. I’ll call T.”

“And I’ll call Brody. We’d better work from both ends if we’re going to get them to agree to missing all of the festivities down here.”

“Something tells me when they hear we’re helping give Aiden some Christmas cheer, they’ll jump right on board.”

AFTER BRODY AND KAITLYN AGREE
to drive Jenna back to the North County, I run to
The Fifth Season
, the sporting goods store where my dad is stationed. I walk through the door, peeking over the tops of what seems to be a hundred heads. The parade has just finished. I can barely squeeze through the herd of last minute Christmas shoppers trying to find deals on ski clothes and snow equipment. Finally, I spot him back by the snowshoes. “Hey, Dad, did you get us registered for the Dash?”

“Yep, I took care of it,” he mutters, continuing to highlight and check off names on his paperwork.

“Well, I need you to change it.”

He pauses long enough to raise his eyes and inflict a scornful glance. “Seriously?” I’m a little busy here, son.”

“I know, but Jenna had to leave, so I’m sorta teamless.”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem. Pierre will hook you up with someone.”

Someone?
“I’m not going to be on a team with nine year olds, am I?”

Dad shoulders bounce up and down from his silent chuckle. “Doubt it. Hurry back and see him. He’s in the back fixing some girl’s skis. Come to think of it, I overheard her talking to her friend when they came in. They want to do the Dash, but they need a third person.”

“Girls? Like more than one? Do you think they’d be able to keep up with me? I kinda wanted that prize.”

“Well, the one girl’s a racer, so I’m guessing she has a little competitive fire in her.”