The Dark Inside (A Human Element) (2 page)

He slammed the door upon entering, hoping his father wasn't home yet. Rich smells of meat and gravy met him. A big pot hung over the kitchen fireplace. His mother was becoming an expert at making gourmet meals by fire. She peeked up from her cookbook and grabbed him for a hug. He accommodated her, trying not to wince as his ribs were squeezed, and turned away so she wouldn't see his cuts.

She forced his face around and gasped. "What happened?"

He threw his bag on the table. "No big deal. We lost the game against the Hides."

"And you got hurt in the game?" She gently touched his face and he stiffened.

"Not exactly."

"A fight."

"Yeah." He told her what happened.

Her mouth formed in a tight line. "What's wrong with those boys? Why won't they heal themselves? That's why we have such abilities. It gives us an advantage in this–"

"Dying world."

"Yes." She placed both hands on his cheeks. "And you didn't heal yourself either. Why?"

He tried to pull away, but she held him firmly. "You wouldn't understand, mother."

She raised her eyebrows at him, waiting.

"I wanted to go to school tomorrow like this."

"So they'd think you're a tough guy too?"

He nodded. She frowned at him, and despite that and the fact her curly, black hair was bound up in a tight bun his mother's natural beauty still glowed before him. His father never seemed to notice, but she turned heads when she went out.

"All right." She released his face, hers now sad. He wanted her to smile.

"What did you write today, Caleb?" She knew why he was late.

"A poem."

She smiled and sat down, pulling on his bag. "For a girl?"

He yanked the bag away with a groan. "No, Mother."

"Come on, let me see."

She managed to wiggle his notebook out and a tug-of-war ensued until the door opened.

"What's this?" His father stood there, his massive shape filling the doorframe, fierce eyes fixed on their antics. Caleb slid his notebook away.

His mother tensed and patted Caleb's shoulder. "Just being silly." She got up to fill a bowl of stew and placed it before his father, who sat down and stared into the fire.

"Any word, Adrian?" His mother sat down and placed her hand on his father's arm. Caleb's skin tightened being near him and he quickly grabbed his bag to head to his room.

"Yes." He tapped the table with his thick fingers. "Caleb–stay."

Caleb sighed and sat down, watching his father pound the stew into his steam shovel mouth. The enormous muscles in his neck flexed with each swallow. He finished his meal in a few gulps and pushed the bowl away.

"Brahm has been named as mission commander to the new world. With Manta. They have been chosen to procreate and carry on our race."

"Adrian, I'm so sorry. I know you wanted this. Why not choose you?"

"They believe I'm a risk, having worked the factory nightshift."

"But you don't have pitch disease."

"It can lay dormant and develop years after working with the energy cells and passed on genetically. You know this. They didn't want to take the chance of me going insane over time on their precious mission. My brother, Mr. Scientist, and his wife are the perfect candidates." He spat out the words like a bug from his stew. "As if my seed isn't good enough." The firelight flashed over his father's white hair. It blazed like the fire that Caleb knew raged in his father, and he wondered why he was needed here. His mother sighed–Caleb knew, with relief. She hadn't wanted to go.

"Adrian, it's meant to be. You can do more help here running the energy plant and we can all remain where we belong, as a family."

"We don't belong here anymore. Our resources are nearly gone. We need to leave and find a new place to rebuild our people."

"And what if you crashed and died–"

"Like my twin's mission?"

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Wouldn't happen with me at the helm." His father snorted.

"But what if the new world doesn't want us?"

"We can hide among their people, if need be."

"Start a new life falsely?"

"If it means our survival, yes."

His mother withdrew her hand from his arm. "Enough of that. It has been decided. We will survive here and make the best of it. If the mission is successful there will be others. We should wish Brahm and Manta well on their journey, even though we shall miss our family."

His father banged his fist on the table as the fire popped.

"Sorry father," Caleb said dutifully and stood to leave.

"You are to help your Uncle Brahm ready for his mission. He has requested it. Tomorrow you are to go to his home laboratory after school."

Caleb's heart beat fast. "Is he taking volunteers on the mission?"

His father's thick eyebrows furrowed into a deep frown. "They need dozens more. Think you're worthy, boy?"

"No, Caleb," his mother whispered. Her eyes were huge and shiny, pleading with him.

"I didn't say I was going, Mother. But I'll help him get ready."

"You do that." His father smiled at him. "The two of you will work well together. The weak leading the weak."

Caleb backed up to the door, eager for the comfort of his room.

"Adrian," his mother admonished.

"It's what Brahm is. A weakling. He'll never survive the mission. Just like our other brother. A waste of a ship we've readied for so long. A waste of all the energy we've directed into operating that ship instead of our daily lives." He looked directly at Caleb. "Just like writing poems is a waste of time. There is more important work to be done here. The strong must lead us into a new energy age before our world dies out. Who's going to do that?
You
, Theresa?
You
, Caleb? Your face bears new marks–you are not ready to win such a battle."

He shoved his chair back and paced along the fire. Caleb hated him more than ever. His father hadn't even cried at his own father's death ceremony, but Uncle Brahm did. His uncle had heart, and was more a father to him than his own. How he wanted to go with him to Earth–but he knew his mother would never allow it. How jealous his father would be. The thought filled him with a sweet gladness.

"I'm leaving early in the morning for my sister's," Caleb's mother said, breaking the thick silence between them. "She's sick again."

"Then you must go," his father said, turning from the fire to look at her.

"I'll be gone a few days at the most. There's food in the cellar."

"Mother, I can go with you too."

"Good idea, take Caleb. He's good at women's work."

Caleb gritted his teeth and ignored his father. Despair at being alone with his father sunk in quick. He looked at his mother, but she shook her head.

"You need to be in school. Don't you have an exam this week?"

"Yes, but–"

"You must stay," she said gently. "I will take the main transport–"

"But that's two miles away through the wooded path in the dark hours."

"I have no choice. It's the only transport running at that time."

"Father, can't you take her?"

"The power cells are dead on my vehicle and I'm working the midnight shift again. There are blackouts everywhere and it's only getting worse. They say an ice age is coming. If we don't find a solution we're all dead soon enough." He frowned at Caleb as if it were his fault their world was coming to an end. "I'm off to rest."

His father left the room and his mother served Caleb a bowl of stew.

She pushed him down in a chair and pointed at his bowl. "Eat. It seems you have a busy day tomorrow now with school and helping Uncle Brahm."

Caleb nodded, playing with his stew. His rumbling stomach called to eat but his heart didn't want to answer. His mother stroked his hair and bent to kiss his cheek. Her warmth and love moved into him. "I won't be gone long. Listen to your father and please, try not to fight."

He nodded again.

"I'll miss you, darling."

"Me too." His words came out a whisper.

And he gulped down his stew. He needed it to be strong for Earth, even if only in his dreams.

* * *

Caleb stared at Serah while she got books out of her locker. It was a rare moment that no one from the popular crowd was with her. She swung her glossy hair over her shoulder as she stuffed books into her backpack. He imagined moving silently up behind her and sifting his hands through her silky waterfall, drowning in her scent. If he was going to approach her, he had to do it now before he lost all nerve.

"Serah?"

She turned with a smile then it faded. "Nice bruises." She turned back to her locker.

"I was keeping them for a science experiment." He tried not to stammer, but his tongue stuck to the bottom of his mouth.

She slammed her locker shut and faced him again. "Really? You're not like the other morons who like to beat each other up to look cool?"

"No way." He looked down into her eyes. They were so green, like the soft grass he imagined once grew here from a brilliant sun. He saw her lying down in all that lushness as he kissed her over and over. "I-I may be going on the new world mission with my aunt and uncle. I didn't heal myself because I wanted to see how long my body would be affected by an injury."

She frowned at him and pursed her full lips he wanted so badly to kiss. "Why?"

"To see what it feels like to be different, like a new race I will meet soon and–"

"Maybe."

"Right." He shrugged and looked down. When he looked up again, she was smiling.

"I thought you were like those other athletes. Maybe I was wrong."

"Maybe."

She laughed, dazzling him with those white teeth. "Right."

He took a deep breath. "Would you like to get together, sometime?"

The bell for class rang. She slung her bag over her shoulder and tilted her head up at him. "If you get on that mission, Caleb, I'll go out with you."

She flashed him one last smile and ran off to class before he could even close his mouth that was hanging open.
Idiot!
But she had said yes. His heart soared.

His only way of winning Serah was to get on that mission. It occurred to him that accomplishing this meant he would never see her again. That would be all right with him.

One kiss and one night with her would sustain him for a lifetime on another world.

* * *

Caleb knocked on Uncle Brahm's house after school. His uncle greeted him with a wide smile on his round face and pulled him into a big hug. His uncle's hair was white like his father's, but all over the place–like his scientific inventions.

"My boy! Manta and I are off. Starting a new path for our world to follow."

"I'm happy for you. Everything will work out on the mission, right?" Caleb was sorry the moment he asked.

His uncle's smile faded. "My brother's crash was over twenty-five years ago. He was just a young man, just out of youth-hood. Like I was once." He paused and shook his head as if reliving that time. "But we have new technology now."

"I know."

"I often wonder if your father's twin had survived that crash, would your father be different."

"Not likely. He was born the way he is."

His uncle shook his head and looked down. "No, he was much softer in his youth. We were brothers and friends then…"

"I didn't mean to make you sad."

His uncle looked up, his smile came back. "You could never make me sad, son."

Caleb was desperate to move on from talk of his father. "So, taking any volunteers?"

"Aha, I don't think your mother would take to that very well."

"Or my father."

"Yes, nor him."

"Will you think about it though?"

"I'm sorry, Caleb. The team overseeing the launch has decided to draw a lottery to take more travelers. A mix of male and female."

Dizziness engulfed Caleb as he fantasized about two of them being him and Serah. "If I got my name in the lottery I'd still have a chance."

"Our family cannot participate in the lottery, as Manta and I are already going. I'm truly sorry."

Caleb's cheeks burned. How could he impress Serah now and escape this world? It was hopeless. He swallowed his frustration and anger. It wasn't his uncle's fault. "Why isn't Aunt Manta helping you get ready?"

"She's at the main laboratory. We have weeks of preparation ahead. She left me in charge of readying our equipment here for the ship. She knows it's my area. Hers is directing."

"And mine is helping. Can I take a tour of the ship?"

"We'll see."

"I don't want you to go, Uncle Brahm."

"You'll be the first one I send a message to when we arrive and I'll watch over you from afar."

Caleb nodded.
Unlike my dad, up close.

"Come, Caleb. No time for sadness. For now, we must work! And you must read me some new poetry while we do."

Caleb pulled his notepad out, eager to share his words with another poet. If he couldn't share it with Serah, he could share it here.

And the following day his uncle's presence helped soothe the hurt of her rejection. When Serah asked if he had gotten accepted to the mission he had to tell her the truth. He hoped she would feel sorry for him and date him anyways, but when he told her he wasn't going she questioned if he ever had the chance to go. He tried to tell her it wasn't a lie (it wasn't, right? He had wanted to go). But she didn't believe it, said he just wanted a piece of her like all the other boys. He grabbed her hand eager to convince her otherwise–glimpsed her pure soul within and desired her even more–but she shoved him off and walked away. He watched her go, taking his love and self-respect with her. She remained unattainable.

All he had to look forward to now each day was readying his uncle's mission and sharing his poetry, the comforting bond that drew them close. They continued this way all week, as Caleb spent hours after school with his uncle amongst machinery and manuals. When his uncle needed to free his mind to figure out a mechanical problem, he would tend to his roses in his greenhouse while Caleb's poems floated in the air. They were special roses his uncle had bred to grow in low light, pale, and sweet smelling. They seemed of another world, not this one Caleb was forced to suffer on. He didn't want to go home. Each day he stayed longer and longer, living in his uncle's world. A world he wanted. He daydreamed about his mother and Uncle Brahm being together. What a perfect family they would be. All kindred souls.