Authors: Sherrilyn Kenyon
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Paranormal, #Vampires, #Science Fiction & Fantasy, #Fantasy, #Paranormal & Urban
He didn’t deserve that. Not from her. Not after all he’d done to protect her. “I thought…”
No, he wouldn’t say it. There was no need. Her actions told him everything he needed to know.
“Thought what?” she asked when he didn’t finish.
“Nothing.” Seth started away and then stopped as his anger mounted to a level so high, it blinded his vision. He wanted to lash out and sting her as deeply as she’d kicked him. “No, it
is
something.”
He raked her with a sneer. “I thought you saw me. But you’re just like everyone else. I’m nothing but an animal to you and that’s all I’ll ever be. Something to be feared or kicked or caged or put down.”
But never kept.
Never trusted.
Never loved.
Seth winced at the bitter truth. “All of you think that I can’t control myself. That I’m…” he caught himself before he said the one thing he thought of himself.
… my father. Incapable of feeling or caring.
His adoptive father had said that so many times.
There’s something not right with that one. You can never trust the gods or their by-blows. They’re tricky, sneaky bastards.
And they’d all mistrusted him when he’d given them no reason to.
Just like her.
Looking back, he wasn’t surprised that he’d been sold at thirteen. He was only surprised now that they’d kept him that long.
But he’d expected better from Lydia. He didn’t know why. Not when everyone else had kicked him.
Still, he’d hoped.
And yet again, he’d learned better.
She reached for him, but he wouldn’t let her touch him and weaken his anger. Not this time. He needed it to keep from being hurt any worse. Anger might not be worth much, but at least it kept him warm when nothing else did. And it kept him safe, cocooned away from the world and from being around those who lied to him.
Tears glistened in her eyes. Something that kicked him in the groin with steel spikes. “I
never
treated you like an animal.”
“Didn’t you? In the beginning, did you not set out to tame me?”
She sputtered indignantly. “No, not exactly.”
“No or not exactly? Which is it?”
“It’s both.” Her cheeks darkened as her temper kicked in to match his. “Okay? I’ll admit that. I didn’t know you then. And do you not own a mirror? Have you seen what you look like when you’re painted up and standing nine thousand feet tall with this gigantic aura of I-hate-everything-around-me? You know, you’re just not real approachable like that, buddy. That whole fuck-off-and-die attitude you’ve armor-plated yourself with tends to unnerve people. Excuse me for feeling the very thing you were striving to make me feel. You’re a little too good at it. Maybe if you’d learn how to smile once in a while it might help. Certainly couldn’t hurt. So yes, in the beginning, I did bite you and I was trying to win you over to my side. But then, I did see you. I did.”
“And yet you still fear me, don’t you?”
Lydia pressed her lips together as she debated how to answer. “What do you want me to say?”
“I want the truth.”
“Fine then. Yes. There’s still a part of me that’s scared of you. I’ll admit it. I’ve seen where you’ve lived and what’s been done to you. Horrors like that take their toll. They have to. You can’t walk through hell and not be scarred by it. And while I’ve seen the good in you, I’ve seen the worst. The worst does terrify me. So given all of that, I decided to listen to Jaden’s advice and not tell you I’m a jackal. I didn’t want you to lash out and hurt me for something I can’t help.”
But it was okay that she’d just done that to him.
Because she didn’t see the man in front of her.
She only saw Noir’s mindless slave. The animal Noir had made him. She didn’t think enough of him to believe that he could have his own sense of right and wrong. That he could walk through hell, and while he was definitely scarred from it, he was still whole.
Still worth
something.
Yes, there were times when the scars opened and he bled anew … like now.
But he wasn’t a monster. He didn’t lash out at anyone without reason.
And he’d never once lashed out at her. She had no reason to doubt him.
Yet she did.
There’s something not right with that one. You can never trust the gods or their by-blows. They’re tricky, sneaky bastards.
But it wasn’t just the gods.
It was everyone. All beings served their own agenda. No good deed was served without them expecting something back in return.
And he was through being hurt and kicked for no reason. “You know, I’m really not as stupid as everyone thinks. I am. I can tell the difference between you and the jackals who fucked me over … But then maybe not. Because right now, I’m thinking what you’ve done cuts me a whole lot deeper than what they did.”
I expected better from you.
Seth headed out of the nearest set of doors he could find. He had no destination, other than to get as far away from her as he could.
I can’t believe I was so stupid.
After everything he’d risked for her. She still didn’t trust him.
Why do I bother?
“Maybe I should just go back to Noir,” he breathed.
At least in Azmodea, he knew the rules and they never changed.
There, he knew how to protect himself.
Yeah, okay, so he sucked at it, but he knew what to do to not get thrown through a wall. There, he saw the punches coming and he decided beforehand if he wanted them or not.
But here …
It was a minefield where he was assaulted when he least expected it. And the blows Lydia gave him hurt so much more than the worst torture Noir could devise.
“Seth?”
Why did the sound of his name on her lips weaken him so? He didn’t want to stop or turn around.
But he couldn’t walk away. Not from her.
Against his will, he paused and waited for her to run up to him.
Lydia slowed down as she reached his side. He stood as proud and powerful as ever with that mop of riotous curls softening a countenance that was as deadly as it was beautiful. All of her life, she’d dreamed of finding someone who made her feel the way he did.
Someone who could make her laugh when she shouldn’t, and who would talk to her about absolutely nothing. Someone she could sit with and not speak for hours, and that would be okay, too.
Most of all, she’d dreamed of a man who made her feel beautiful when he looked at her. Not with words. But with the light in his eyes that would shine only for her.
The tenderness in his touch.
Who would have ever dreamed that man would be Seth?
She moved to stand in front of him, but he still wouldn’t look at her. The way he bounced his gaze around to look at anything else would be funny, if she didn’t care about his pain.
But she did.
“I wouldn’t hurt you for anything. Not now. In the beginning, yes. But…” She braced herself for whatever off-the-wall reaction he might have. “I love you, Seth. I just wanted you to know that.”
Seth froze as he heard the last thing he’d ever expected someone else to say to him. The one thing no one ever had. “What?”
“I love you. And only you.”
He stared at her in total disbelief as those words echoed in his heart. Were they true?
Did he dare hope or believe that they were?
How should he react? He honestly didn’t know. A multitude of indecipherable emotions exploded through him all at once, paralyzing him.
She looked at him expectantly. “Aren’t you going to say something?”
What? What was he supposed to say? Nothing in his screwed up past had ever coached him on how to deal with something like this. Pain he could handle. Contempt he was well versed in. Insults rolled right over him.
But love …
What did someone do with that?
Lydia waited for some kind of response, but all he did was stand there, eyes wide, like a statue that strangely made her think he was waiting for a pigeon to come crap-bomb him.
Suddenly, he started looking around again. At the sky, the yard, behind them, in front of them. Everywhere.
“What are you doing?” she asked with a light lauth at his strange behavior.
He leaned toward her to whisper in an awed tone. “I’m looking for something bad to happen.”
She frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“You can’t love me. No one does.” The sincerity in his voice and expression was heart-wrenching. He truly couldn’t fathom anyone caring about him.
Not even her.
Laughing, she pulled him into her arms so that she could bury her hand in the curls at the nape of his neck and hold him close. “You silly man. Of course I can love you.”
Seth wrapped his arms around her, stunned and shocked, as she swayed him back and forth. He couldn’t even begin to sort through his rapid-fire emotions right now.
But at the bottom of it all was an equal amount of euphoria …
And holy ranking terror.
What did people do when they loved each other? He tried to remember the few years he’d lived with the jackals, but it’d been too long ago, and he’d banished all those memories to the darkest part of his mind.
Now he trod a whole new landscape where nothing was familiar. The only thing that kept him grounded was the woman in his arms who’d rocked his entire existence.
The woman he would die for.
“What does this mean, Lydia?”
Lydia smiled up at him as she finally understood his bizarre question. For a man with so much worldly experience and a thorough understanding of the worst things in the universe, in many ways, he was like a small child who was baffled by a simple act of kindness.
“Well, when people love each other, they usually make a commitment to each other … or the man runs for the door in stark, raving terror.”
His look turned to steel. “I don’t run from anything.”
“I know, sweetie.” She stood up on her tiptoes to kiss the stern frown from his brow. “It’s one of the things I love most about you.” She held her hand up with the sign she’d taught him in bed. “This is how you say ‘I love you’ in my language.”
He duplicated the gesture and laid his hand against hers like they’d done earlier. The unspoken happiness in his gaze set her heart pounding even faster.
“How do you say it in ancient Egyptian?”
He actually had to think about it. Something that made her eyes water as she realized why he had to struggle to remember. After a few seconds, he shrugged. “I don’t know. I never heard those words said together.”
She sniffed back her tears. “You will always,
always
hear them from me. Every day. I promise.” Lydia’s gaze dropped to his neck where she’d planned to kiss him, but something else caught her attention.
Was that …
No. Was it?
Standing on her tiptoes again, she pulled the neck piece of his armor down so that she could get a better view and double-check what it was she thought she saw.
Seth stepped back. “What are you doing?”
“The swallow…”
“What of it?” he asked after a few seconds when she didn’t continue speaking.
Lydia was aghast at the sight. She couldn’t get over it. “It’s different now.”
“How so?”
She traced the tail feathers with her fingertip. “The heart inside its tail … It’s no longer broken.” She used her powers to conjure a mirror so that she could show him. “See … the heart’s whole.”
Seth leaned his head back so that he could see his mark. She was right.
Finally, after all this time, his swallow could fly again.
He was whole.
Because of
her.
He leaned down to kiss her lips, but before he could, something bright flashed around them. It came and went so fast, that he wasn’t sure if it’d been real or imagined.
Not until Lydia arched a brow. “Was that lightning?”
“I don’t know.”
It flashed again. Then four more times in rapid succession.
This time, Seth recognized that pattern and what it signified. “It’s Maahes. He’s in battle.”
And there was only one person Maahes could be fighting here in this realm.
Verlyn had found them.
CHAPTER 19
Seth hesitated outside the throne room. In battle, it paid to get your bearings before running in half-cocked. That was the quickest way he knew of getting gutted, and he’d been gutted enough to verify it for a fact.
And while he knew he would survive a good gutting, Lydia might not and he wasn’t about to take a chance with her safety.
As he listened, the familiar sounds of violence and battle rang out around him, reminding him of the life he’d had to endure all these centuries past.
I don’t want to go back to that. Ever.
He wasn’t a coward. But he was tired of fighting for every little thing. Of being on guard with every creature he came into contact with, knowing they wouldn’t hesitate to strike out at him if given a chance.
Lydia had spoiled him with another world, and it was one he never wanted to leave.
Which meant he had to get rid of these assholes so that they could …
Make a commitment to each other.
That’s what Lydia had called it. And that was the life he wanted now. One with her in it.
That
was the life, the only thing, he was willing to fight for.
Closing his eyes, he tapped into the powers that Noir had been stripping from him since puberty. They were stronger now than they’d been even an hour ago, and they still weren’t at full strength. It made him wonder what they’d be like at maximum capacity. They’d have to be impressive, given what he felt right now.
No wonder Noir had kept him under heel. At full strength, he would have the ability to give the bastard a good run for his money.
The jackals should have asked for a higher price when they sold him. Stupid bastards.
And with those powers, he was able to see everything going on inside the throne room.
Verlyn and Maahes were there and engaged in a bloody fight as they stood toe-to-toe. But they weren’t alone.
Far from it.
Solin, along with other Dream-Hunters and a Greek god he didn’t recognize, were fighting another group of their own kind. And as he watched and listened, he finally understood why everyone was after them.