* * * * *
“Hey, Cowboy – you all right?”
When they reached the restaurant again, Lacey was the only one left at the table. She was nursing a shot of something, and looked tired.
Lacey. Figured. Ethan braced for the onslaught.
But she just played with the enormous ring on her finger. Would she take it off and declare herself free for the taking? Would she throw herself into his arms again?
He didn’t give a shit. Even with Autumn gone his answer was still no. Thank God his parents weren’t alive to see the mess he’d made out of his life. What would Claire say? By tomorrow everyone in town would know exactly the kind of idiot he was. Good luck finding a wife now.
“Have a seat. I’ll order you some coffee.” Lacey waved at a passing waitress. “Coffee, please?” The waitress looked at Jamie, who still hovered in the background. “None for him; he’s just leaving.”
“I’m leaving, too,” Ethan said.
“I know you are,” Lacey said, looking up at him at last. “But first you’re going to give me the courtesy of five minutes of your time. Can you do that?”
He hesitated, not knowing why he didn’t walk away. Something was different about Lacey, and he decided to hear her out. “It’s okay, Jamie. Why don’t you head on home. I can take it from here.”
“You sure?”
Ethan nodded.
“All right. Call me if you need anything – I’ll be back at the ranch.”
“I’ll be there soon.”
The waitress came back with his coffee and he gripped the cup thankfully. Maybe it would help clear his mind.
Lacey shook her head. “I thought I had it all figured out,” she said. “Even back in high school, I thought I’d graduate, marry you and everything would fall into place – I’d finally feel like I belonged somewhere – that I’d be worth something.”
Ethan frowned. This kind of introspection wasn’t normal for Lacey.
“I used to write our names over and over – Ethan and Lacey Cruz. I couldn’t wait to stop being a Taylor.”
Ethan nodded. He understood this. “I know things were rough at your place,” he said quietly. Lacey’s father had been a real piece of work when he was alive, heavy with the strap when his kids disappointed him. Lacey’s older brothers lit out for Billings as soon as they could. Lacey stayed with her mother until she hooked up with Ethan, then with Carl.
“You don’t know the half of it.” Lacey laughed, but the sound wasn’t pleasant. “I wish I’d been a boy. I could have stood the beatings. What he did…” she trailed off and Ethan’s chest tightened.
“Hell, Lacey, did he…?” He couldn’t say the words.
She nodded.
Oh, hell. “Why didn’t you ever say?”
“So you could look at me that way? All pity and disgust?”A tear slid down her cheek and Ethan reached for her, but she pulled away. “No, I know you don’t love me. And I don’t really love you, either. I just couldn’t stand that you and Autumn were going to be happy when I felt so…awful.” Ethan moved toward her again and she held up a hand to stop him. “Look, you can’t help me with this – I see that now – but I know I need help.”
He waited for more, but she didn’t speak.
“What made you see that?” he asked softly.
“This,” she said, turning Autumn’s laptop toward him. “I missed it the first time. You should be sure to read it. I’ve never loved anyone the way she loves you, and I finally get why – it’s because I hate myself too much.”
“Can I call Carl for you?” There was no way he was letting Lacey walk out of the restaurant alone. Not tonight.
“No – I can’t lean on him anymore than I could lean on you. I’ve got to try another way. Rose is coming to get me.”
Ethan took a breath. He sure as hell hadn’t seen this coming. “Everything will be okay, Lacey. I know it,” he said as she stood up.
“Well, that makes one of us.” Her eyes were bright with tears, and his heart ached for her. “There’s Rose. I guess I’d better get out of here before I make a bigger fool out of myself.”
“You’re no fool, Lacey Taylor. You’ll do okay.”
She nodded and hurried away. He watched her leave, then sat back down heavily. How could he have missed something so big? He’d spent years with Lacey and she’d never hinted at that kind of trouble at home. He knew one thing, though – if Lacey’s father were alive, he’d beat him within an inch of his life. What kind of monster did that to his own daughter?
He reached for Autumn’s laptop reluctantly, wondering what Lacey had seen there that changed her mind about love so completely. A document was displayed on the screen and he began to read.
“Today I fell in love with a man and my whole life has changed. I’ve been attracted to Ethan since the moment I got off the plane. Everything about him pushes all the right buttons – I’ve never had such an urge to tear off my clothes and jump into a man’s arms. I love this feeling – like one minute with him can wash away every care in the world. To hell with writing an article – I’m going to write a love story, instead – between me and Ethan. The man I worship. The man I’ll spend the rest of my life with.”
Ethan didn’t bother to read another line.
Autumn loved him and he wasn’t going to waste another minute apart from her.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Autumn sat at the large dining room table in the great room of the Big House and watched Lily drag a suitcase down the stairway to the front hall. The door opened and Becka walked in with Autumn’s luggage. Her friend had volunteered to do her packing so she wouldn’t have to return to the bunkhouse and be reminded of her time there.
She had blurted out the whole story to her mother and sister on the awful ride home from the restaurant. Teresa guessed about her pregnancy instantly and demanded to be told the rest. As she’d predicted, her mother was coldly furious, her sister subdued.
She took a sip of the tea Becka had made her earlier. It was cold, but she didn’t care. She didn’t think anything would ever comfort her again. She’d lost Ethan for good. He must hate her guts. She didn’t like herself much right now.
Lily crossed the room and sat down next to her. “Did you really come here to write a magazine article about Ethan?”
Her stomach contracted, but she knew she’d already thrown up everything it contained. “Yes. At least at first.”
“What were you thinking?”
The condemnation in her voice sent Autumn over the edge. “I wasn’t thinking, all right? I haven’t…thought…in months! I’ve been terrified – I was about to lose my job. I could barely afford my apartment as it was. No matter what I do, I just screw it up!” To her horror, she began to cry again. How could she have any more tears left? “I saw Ethan’s video – and it seemed perfect for a story. I didn’t think it would work but I had to try. And then he chose me, and I came out here…I didn’t think I’d fall in love with him!”
Lily didn’t say anything and she scraped at her tears with the back of her hand. “I’m so stupid; I thought he loved me back, too. I was going to go through with it – marry him. Help him save the ranch. Have his baby.”
“You mean you weren’t going to publish the story?”
“No, of course not! It’s a stupid story – the whole damn magazine is stupid! The whole damn city is stupid! I want this. I want…Ethan.”
God, she must look a mess. Eyes dripping, nose running. But who cared? She’d lost everything she loved and her future spread before her as bleak as a moonscape and far less interesting. She didn’t know how she’d get through the rest of the day, let alone the rest of her life. When she got back to New York she needed to totally reconstruct her life.
She dropped her head in her arms.
“Lily – would you go give your mom a hand? I don’t think she should carry her suitcase down the stairs,” Becka said, coming up behind Autumn and stroking her back.
“Are you kidding? Mom’s as strong as a horse!” Lily said, but Becka must have shot her a look because Autumn heard her sister’s footsteps fade away as she headed upstairs.
“Thanks,” she whispered. Becka patted her.
“I know this is tough, honey, but you’ll be all right.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Yes, you will – you’re a fighter. My money’s on you, kid.”
Autumn stood up and gave her friend a hug. “Thank God you’re here. I couldn’t do this without you.”
“I’ll always be here to help,” Becka said, hugging her back.
“Hey – that’s my fiancée you’re pawing,” a very masculine, very sexy voice drawled from the front door.
Becka started, then laughed nervously. “Well, what can I say – with you out of the picture I thought I’d give it a whirl…” She broke off and stepped away from Autumn.
Autumn raised her head. “Ethan?” Was he…joking around…with Becka? Her breath hitched as Ethan crossed to her and in one strong motion, swept her into her arms.
“I read what you wrote – Lacey showed me the part where you changed your mind. You weren’t going to publish it.” He kissed her soundly on the mouth.
Autumn’s knees went weak and she clung to his arms. She couldn’t breathe, tears already clogged her throat. Was this real? Was this Ethan – kissing her? After all that had happened?
“Of course not,” she said. “I fell in love with you. I couldn’t do that to my husband.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain.”
“I’m sorry I ever planned to write it.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the video was a joke.”
“I’m sorry…” No, she wasn’t sorry for anything. She didn’t care how they got here. All she cared about was being in Ethan’s arms, holding him tight and kissing him over and over again.
“No more apologies,” he growled. “If you hadn’t planned to write it, you’d never have come, and I couldn’t bear that.”
“I couldn’t bear it either.”
He pulled away from her. “You know marriage is forever with me. Once you walk down that aisle tomorrow, there’s no going back?” He searched her face. “I mean that, Autumn. Once you say yes, you say yes forever.”
“Yes!” she said, tugging him closer for another kiss. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
When they finally separated, Autumn was weeping.
“The wedding’s back on, I take it?” Teresa said acidly from the staircase.
He took Autumn’s hand. “You bet it is, Mrs. Leeds.”
“You’re sure? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of two people who lied to each other so much in such a short period of time.”
Ethan turned back to Autumn, a grin curving the edge of his mouth. “I think I got it all out of my system – how about you, darling?”
“I will never tell another lie as long as I live,” Autumn promised.
They kissed again.
“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Teresa said. “Lily – carry that suitcase back up again. Looks like we’ll be staying another day.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
June 21
st
dawned clear and bright as a new penny, as if the sun wanted to make the most of the longest day of the year. For the moment Autumn stood alone on the front porch, but she knew by breakfast time the front lawn would be bustling with workers setting up rows of seats, the latticed archway for the ceremony, and tables for the dinner afterward.
Autumn had been informed by many of Ethan’s friends and family that no Western wedding would be complete without a barbeque, so the large roasting pit at the side of the house would soon be in use, its smoke twisting up into the stunning blue sky.
She offered up a prayer of gratitude for everything that had happened since she’d arrived at Chance Creek and the Cruz ranch. Ethan had told her of Lacey’s confession and determination to get the help she needed to recover from the abuse she’d received as a young girl. She sent up a prayer for her, too. Now that she wouldn’t be around to interfere with Autumn’s happiness, she found room in her heart for compassion toward Lacey. No wonder she behaved so spitefully when she’d been treated so badly, herself.
She said a prayer of thanks for her mother and sister’s presence at her wedding, too. Teresa already seemed to be coming around to the idea of the marriage and despite her protestations to the contrary, Autumn had a feeling she secretly relished becoming a grandmother. As their mother eased up, Lily relaxed, too -- to the point that she had asked whether there were any other cute, unattached cowboys she could dance with at the wedding. Autumn couldn’t decide whether to steer her toward Rob, or as far from him as possible. Even Claire had softened up, although maybe that was just Jamie’s influence on her.
"Hey, sunshine," Ethan said, coming up behind her and placing a possessive hand on her hip.
"You’re not supposed to see me on our wedding day!"
"The sun’s not all the way up yet. Think we can sneak in a quickie before the guests arrive?"
Desire stirred within her, as it did whenever Ethan was near. Autumn glanced at her watch. It was still early.
"I think we can get away with it," she said. Taking his hand, she hurried back inside, laughing when he picked her up and headed for the stairs. She exchanged a private look with him at the memory of their lovemaking on the treads beneath their feet as they climbed to the second level of the Big House.