The Cowboy and the Angel (27 page)

Derek turned and began to walk away as the doctor slipped the top of the cowboy’s thumb into a bag of ice as one of the paramedics on site helped the cowboy into the back of the ambulance. Angela paled and moved away from the cowboy, shying away from the gore. She shook her head at Skip and he backed away as they closed the doors, still filming as the ambulance pulled out of the rodeo grounds. She turned to the doctor.

“How often does that happen?”

“It’s not common but it happens in the roping events. Usually it’s when the roper dallies the rope around the saddle horn. The tip of his thumb can get caught, and when the rope pulls taut”—he smacked his lips together and flipped his hand up—“there goes the end of the thumb.”

“Are they going to be able to fix it?” He could hear the horror in her voice. She glanced at the cowboy who’d found the digit before looking back at the doctor for his answer.

“They’ll try, but there’s a good chance they won’t be able to do anything.”

She looked at Derek and then at the cowboys around her with incredulity. He could see how it might be difficult for her to grasp the fact that no one seemed overly worried about the thumb. It was just part of the culture: a “cowboy up” attitude. Besides, it was just a thumb.

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I have to get back in the arena and finish. Are you going back to the trailer?”

She glanced at Skip, who jerked his chin toward the cattle chutes at the other end of the arena. “I can get some good shots down there, Angela, and if anything happens I’ll be right there.”

“Okay,” she acquiesced. “Then I’ll head over to the trailer and start the copy with Joe.”

Joe was the last person he wanted to leave her alone with, but he didn’t see that he had a choice. This was her job and Joe was her boss. He spotted Sydney heading into the trailer. “Why don’t you work inside the trailer? It’ll give you some quiet, and I’m sure Syd could use some help with Kassie while she starts dinner for everyone.”

At her nod he felt a measure of relief. At least with Sydney present he would feel safer knowing that she would eavesdrop. Sydney was a master when it came to finding out information people didn’t even know they were giving.

D
EREK ROLLED HIS
shoulders backward, trying to loosen up his stiff muscles. The slack had lasted far longer than he’d thought it would, and they still had one performance left tomorrow. He locked the back gate as the last contestant pulled out. What he really wanted to do was to head back to the ranch and spend a few days working on his house. Working on it always seemed to give him time and distance to put anything troubling him into its proper perspective.

Perspective was exactly what he needed right now, when every instinct was telling him Angela was “the one,” but every circumstance seemed destined to drive them apart. How could a city girl and a cowboy ever make a relationship work? He knew he could never move, and the only place she wanted to go was up: bigger city, bigger stories, bigger fan base, bigger paycheck. As much as he wanted her, he wanted something that would last, and he just couldn’t see past their differences. However, logic wasn’t enough to stop the electrifying jolt of yearning he felt as soon as she came into view.

Angela set out plates of food on a long table for a buffet-style meal for the crew. He chuckled as Kassie reached across Sydney to grab a fistful of Angela’s long hair. He saw the smile that graced Angela’s face as she reached for the child, catching Kassie as she lunged before cuddling her close. She was quickly letting go of her ice queen demeanor. There was joy in her eyes now; contentment had replaced the haunted desperation he’d seen there last week. It surprised him how easily her smile surfaced now. Knowing what he did about her past, it probably surprised her too.

Kassie spotted him behind Angela and reached for him, causing Angela to turn and see what had attracted the child’s attention. She flashed him a bright smile and his heart pounded against his ribs.

That is not a good sign, cowboy.

He scooped the baby from Angela’s arms and kissed her cheek, making her giggle. “Hey, cowgirl. And one for you,” he said, leaning down and pressing a quick, perfunctory kiss on Angela’s cheek.

He didn’t want it to appear too intimate with others around, but he couldn’t help but touch her. Kassie watched them intently, and Derek laughed when she opened her mouth, wanting another kiss. The pair obliged the baby while the crew began dishing up their plates.

“Where’re Joe and Skip?” He shifted Kassie to one side of his chest and held her in the crook of his elbow, bouncing her occasionally as he searched the faces nearby.

“Joe’s by your trailer, probably pouting. He’s not happy about the turn of the story but he’s agreed to one more week, although he would like me to head back sooner if possible.” She pointed to several of the crew seated with her father, Skip on his right. “Skip’s over there with Dad. I guess they are going to share the couch in your trailer tonight, which doesn’t really leave you many options again, I’m afraid.”

“My truck or your couch again,” he filled in. The thought of sharing the roll-out bed with her last night stirred a fire within him, again overruling the discomfort still tormenting his back. “Hmm, who’s staying on the couch with me, you or Scott?”

She tipped her head and gave him a reprimanding look. “I overheard Sydney say she was heading back tonight after dinner.” She allowed Kassie to grasp one of her fingers in her pudgy fist. “This one might be coming down with the same thing her cousin has.” As if on cue, Kassie coughed hoarsely.

She met Derek’s gaze, her eyes dark with longing. “I’m not sure what the sleeping arrangements are going to be tonight.”

“Don’t worry, Angel. Your reputation will be safe. Scott and I will take the couch and you can have the bed.”

“I can’t do that! You guys won’t fit on that couch.” She paused, looking as if she wanted to say something, and he wondered if she was thinking about how he’d managed to fit on the couch with her in his arms last night.

“We’ll figure something out.” Derek cringed at the thought of sharing any bed with his brother. He’d done it enough in the past to know it would be a tugging match for blankets. He didn’t anticipate getting much sleep tonight, especially when the person he wanted to be lying next to was only a few feet away.

“Why don’t the two of you take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch?” she suggested, looking pleased with her solution.

It wasn’t the solution he had in mind. “We’ll figure it out.” He turned toward the food. “Dinner looks good.” He reached for a plate and set it on the table, trying to spoon homemade pork and beans onto it without spilling on the baby in his arms.

“Here, either give me Kassie or your plate.” She reached for the child, who whined and clung to her uncle. “Okay, then I’ll take the plate,” she laughed. “She’s pretty smitten with you.”

Derek smiled down at the little girl tucking her head between his neck and chin. “Yeah,” he agreed. “This little girl has a special place in my heart.” Angela turned and looked at him intently, as if trying to read his thoughts. He could see concern creeping into her eyes and wondered at her hesitation.

“That’s sweet.”

Derek didn’t miss her clipped tone. “Angel,” he said, reaching for her waist and pulling her close, “are you jealous?”

“Why would I be jealous?”

“Let’s take our food over there,” he said, jerking his chin toward his truck. “I think we need to talk for a second.”

Angela dished up a plate for herself while he waited. She walked toward the truck, carrying both plates. He lowered the tailgate and she set the plates down, glancing at Kassie, now asleep in Derek’s arms.

“You want me to take her so you can eat?” she asked softly, unable to keep the gentle smile from curving the corners of her lips.

“No, go ahead.” He wasn’t sure where to begin. He stalled, twisting the cap from a bottle of water and drinking half before setting it down. Angela played with her food but remained silent. He could tell she wanted to ask about his earlier statement but wasn’t sure how to bring it up.

“I told you Scott and I didn’t get along, but last year I helped Scott’s ex keep him and Sydney apart. The only thing it accomplished was getting Sydney hurt, almost killed.” Derek could taste the shame on his tongue, bitter and vile, and he looked away from Angela. “I promised her I’d make it up to her. That I’d never let my family down again, and she’s family. Kassie’s . . .”

“The part of Sydney that you
can
have,” Angela finished. He could hear a note of sadness in her voice as she put her fork down. “I get it.”

“No, I . . . damn it.” Derek tossed his hat into the back of the truck, and for the first time Derek wished for someone else to hold Kassie. “Angel . . .”

“Don’t call me that,” Angela murmured, shaking her head and tossing those fiery waves around her shoulders.

He reached his free hand out, grasping her chin in his fingers. “Sydney isn’t the person meant for me.”

“Because she’s with your brother?” Her eyes burned with anguish and he hated himself for causing it.

He was making a mess of this. How could he show her that it wasn’t Sydney he wanted? He took a step forward and slid his fingers into her hair at the back of her head, pulling her toward him. His lips met hers with a fiery passion, burning uncontrolled as he let the dam of emotions loose. With her hands between Kassie and his chest she gasped for breath but didn’t pull away from him. He hoped it was a good sign.

“It’s you, Angel,” he whispered against her lips. “I don’t know whether it’s safe or not, but I want you.”

Kassie stirred in his arms. “Wait here.” She nodded but looked like she might run away. “Promise me.” She rolled her lips inward and nodded again.

He hurried toward Sydney and Scott, every part of him feeling exposed and raw. If he wasn’t careful she was going to panic and run the other direction. He couldn’t let her think she was a substitute for his brother’s wife, a woman who had never stirred him the way Angela did. He wanted to protect her, not cause her more regret.

“Here,” he said, sliding Kassie into Sydney’s arms. “Angela said you’re leaving tonight?”

Sydney looked at Scott. “I have to get Kassie home. She was running a slight fever, so Scott’s going to drive me after we finish eating. I think she might have a touch of what little Blake caught.”

“I should be back in time for the performance tomorrow,” Scott assured him.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“I’m about to find out.” Derek looked at his brother. “Be careful driving.”

Scott nodded and chuckled. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

A
NGELA SAT ON
the tailgate of the truck. She shouldn’t have bothered to wait for him to return. Nothing he said would change things. The light in his eyes whenever he held Kassie, the connection she’d seen between him and Sydney, spoke volumes. He and Scott were close, but the signs were there. Derek was in love with Sydney and she would never be more than a substitute. She couldn’t be a stand-in for any man, even temporarily. Her heart ached at the thought of emotionally walking away while still physically working in close proximity for the next week.

She looked up in time to see him jogging back to the car without Kassie, and she knew he must have taken her back to her mother. A heavy sigh escaped and she felt tears beginning to burn in the back of her eyes. She closed them, willing the tears away, reached for her anger, and wrapped it around her, tucking her heart behind the chipped wall that had surrounded it before she’d allowed Derek to break through. How could he accuse her of lying about her relationship with Joe when he hadn’t told her about Sydney? She was quickly turning into her mother, falling in love with a man who would put her behind his first love. She couldn’t let history repeat itself.

Derek stepped between her legs, his hands drifting along her thighs. His touch burned through her jeans just above her knees, sending hot desire shooting up her legs to areas she assumed were long dead until meeting him. She fought the yearning pulsing through her body, wishing she had the strength to push him away. She clenched her fists at her sides and dug her nails into her palms, focusing on the pain in her hands and her knuckles pressing into the hard metal of the tailgate instead of feeling the agony in her heart.

“Let me try this again.” His hands slid to her hips and he pulled her toward him, staring down into her eyes. “I’ve been jealous of my brother my entire life and it’s always caused contention between us, even as kids. If he had something, I wanted it: his horse, his friends and, yes, his girlfriends.” He shook his head and looked down at her lap. “I have no idea why I thought he had it so easy. I just always knew that he was the one everyone saw as a ‘man’ and I was the ‘boy.’ I hated it.”

She watched Derek clench his jaw, struggling to make her understand. “But I was so immature. I was good at playing on the sympathy everyone showed me since I was the kid who never knew my parents. I got whatever I wanted. I was a spoiled brat. By the time Sydney came into the picture, Scott and I were barely on speaking terms. I wanted her because she was his. I nearly destroyed their relationship and almost got her killed.”

Derek met her gaze, and she could see his eyes misting. She could read the guilt and pain in his eyes . . . and the shame. She understood the helplessness of living with that sort of shame and guilt. She knew how it felt to have guilt driving every action, every decision, every breath. She wasn’t sure how to remove the pain from his eyes, to help him push away the guilt gnawing at the edges of his heart now that she’d pressed him for an explanation, but she knew she had to do something to comfort him. Angela knew she was risking her own heart as she cupped his jaw between her fingers. “Derek,” she whispered, joining her lips to his.

He tore his mouth from hers but remained only a breath away, his forehead pressing against hers. “I never loved her. I thought I did but it’s nothing like . . .” He stopped and her heart paused mid-beat, waiting for him to finish his thought. “There is nothing but friendship between Sydney and me. I am not in love with her. Kassie is special to me because she is a living reminder of the forgiveness I’ve received, how I can never go back to being that person. I will always put my family first.”