The Concubine's Daughter (18 page)

Ah-Jeh held up a hand, calling for silence. “This is something you brought upon yourself. Did you think that you could run and not be chased? Your freedom has been sold; it belonged to Ming-Chou, but he has no further use for it. Now you belong to me.”

She crossed to the corner, returning with a knife, cutting through the grass rope that bound Li’s wrists and ankles.

“They are less than the droppings of a syphilitic bat, those
larn-jai
,” she muttered. “Only the dregs of hell know what diseases they carry. Are you sure they did not enter you?”

Li-Xia nodded with a glint of pride.

“You were lucky. But I must be sure of this—your future may depend on it. If you are still pure, I will save you. The comb and the mirror shall be yours.”

“With great respect, Elder Sister, and with all gratitude, I am not worthy of such an honor. I know now that I can never become a weaver.”

The sound of her own voice, so much stronger than she felt inside, encouraged Li to continue.

“Just as I would be worthless in the bed of the old lord, so would I be found unworthy of the sisterhood. My feet are my only freedom; without them there is no path ahead. I could not spend my life at the loom, without the open air and the sky above me. I have a great fear of four walls.”

“This is not for you to judge. Nor is it an opportunity to be tossed away so lightly.” Ah-Jeh’s words seemed more reasonable than angry. “Where do you think this path you speak of can lead you—one of the
mui-mui
without a name, whose ancestors have turned her away and can find no resting place?”

“I have a mother; her name is Pai-Ling and she is a scholar from the great city of Shanghai. I am called to be a scholar, to read and write as she does. Her knowledge lives within me, and together we will follow our path.”

Ah-Jeh nodded her understanding, then held aside a curtain to reveal a tub of warm water. She allowed the slightest of smiles, and her voice was lightened with the hint of amusement.

“Well, you are no scholar now, but a spinner of silk, and that is knowledge and skill enough for a child. Your mother cannot be allowed to look upon a daughter so badly used. Take off those rags and wash yourself; I will clean your injuries and find you something to wear, then something to eat and drink. You cannot consider such important things until you are well rested.”

She crossed to the vase of canes, selected one, and stood watching as Li shed the muddy garments. She lifted them from the floor with the tip of the cane and flicked them into a corner. Li could see the superintendent eye’s examining every inch of her; there seemed little point in modesty and she made no attempt to hide her nakedness. Ah-Jeh clucked her tongue in a show of sympathy.

“You have been punished enough by those sons of pestilent whores.” She stepped closer to inspect the scratches and bruises on Li’s body. “You are not one who cries easily, I think. But there is nothing serious that I can see. Turn around.”

A fingertip crawled like a fly over Li’s naked back—down the length of her spine to the cleft of her buttocks. She felt them tighten, but the fingers stopped. Ah-Jeh fetched the kettle from the stove and added hot water to the tub, along with brown drops of disinfectant from a small vial, then produced a large sponge and a cake of soap. She flicked the curtain across its rail to give the pretense of privacy.

“Be sure your hair is free of their filth. Call me when you think you are clean. Your back is lacerated; I will attend to it.”

Her voice was almost motherly. The soap smelled of flowers and was
like none Li had seen; the sponge slipped over her wet skin like the hand of an angel as she stood in the tub. It was the first time in many grueling hours that she had a moment alone and a chance to think. She realized that she was in the presence of danger, but was this a greater or lesser evil than she had already faced? That Ah-Jeh possessed more power than any of those who had hurt her was certain, yet it seemed that Elder Sister was also capable of pity, and perhaps even sympathy.

Li knew there was no escape from the hands of Elder Sister except to please her, to play her game to its end. How easily the willow cane could have flayed her raw, yet she had been spared. Compared to the loathsome capering of the
larn-jai
, Ah-Jeh was a comfort.

Moments passed and the curtain was flicked back. There was an almost kindly patience in Ah-Jeh’s voice.

“Turn around. I will tend your back before it festers.”

The sponge was drawn carefully up and down Li’s back and across her shoulders, soothing the burning scratches; the water turned rusty with blood and dirt running down her legs and into the tub. Li was grateful for its touch, her uncertainty dissolving with the flood of perfumed water down her back, over her buttocks, and down her legs.

She closed her eyes as Ah-Jeh firmly gripped her narrow waist to turn her around. When she opened them, she realized with a small shock how much taller she had grown since first seeing the superintendent perched like a crow upon her stool. Now she saw the whiteness of Ah-Jeh’s scalp, straight as a scar in the parting of her hair.

“Let me see you free of mud and muck.”

The sponge was wiped over her chest and along her arms, her stomach, between and down her legs in such an easy way, Li found no urgent reason to resist as exhaustion swept over her till she trembled.

“I see now why your dolt of a father called you Li-Xia. You are almost a woman when most
mui-mui
are still giggling children.”

“I do not believe I was ever a child … I am incapable of giggling.”

“You are also confused, and nervous. Perhaps you find your position too much to clearly contemplate. I can understand this uncertainty. We will drink tea and talk of it.”

As though in a trance, Li stood still as Elder Sister reached for the towel, gently blotting her skin, paying close attention to her wounds no matter how slight. From a tray, tinctures and salves were painstakingly applied. Through her sense of gratitude, Li’s heart cried out in anger, knowing these were the kindest hands that had ever tended her, the closest she had known to a mother’s touch. She cursed the blind gods for cheating her this way; she knew this was a blessing that would soon be snatched away, and the hands that treated her so sweetly would quickly turn to violence.

Allowing the towel to be wrapped around her, Li followed Ah-Jeh to the small table now set with a pewter teapot and two glass cups with pewter lids. Ah-Jeh seated herself at the table, upon a stool of glazed porcelain, indicating a matching stool on the other side. The lilt of amusement was in her voice as Li took a seat on the edge of the stool.

“It took great spirit to avoid the bed of Ming-Chou so dramatically … and much good sense. He is like all men when it comes to that, no different from the
larn-jai
, but for his robes and riches—his thoughts and actions just as foul. Men differ only in the clothes they shed when the ivory staff is raised like a spear. But it is I you must now please, so be careful in what you say. Do not try my patience too far with your philosophies. You are too young for such meandering; it is for you to learn, not to teach.”

She reached for the teapot, lifting the silver lid of each cup to fill it. Her manner was light and almost friendly. She chuckled in her throaty way, offering Li a cup of the dark green tea with both hands in the proper manner of respect.

“You are not like the others, Li-Xia. Most would do anything to win the master’s favor and the benefits it can bring, and think nothing of the risks. This is not wise. The passions of men do not last—they are fleeting as the thunder and rain. You are very young, yet I believe you already know this.”

When Li could not find a worthy reply, Ah-Jeh left her seat and came to stand behind her.

“It is good that you find the hands of men distasteful. A woman
should not depend upon the needs and whims of any horny goat. You are not a receptacle for unwanted seed, to be filled up and thrown aside—or given a child you cannot feed in return for a moment of bestial pleasure.”

As she spoke, the superintendent placed a hand lightly on the top of Li’s head. Her other hand lifted Li’s newly washed hair to find the hidden nape of her neck.

“If you accept the mirror and the comb and take the oath of
sau-hai
, you need no longer worry about such things. You will have many sisters and a home for life where no harm can come to you. In exchange, you must deny foolish dreams of a scholarly life; there will be no need for you to read and write.”

“I have thought fully on this since I was brought to Ten Willows. My respect for the sisterhood and for Elder Sister is great … but I could not take the oath required of me if my journey is to end before it has begun.”

There was a pause before Ah-Jeh spoke again. Li could see the pulse tripping like the heart of a bird in the vein of her neck.

“You have listened to the prattle of fools who know nothing of
sau-hai
. Your mother is dead. This I know from your father’s lips and from the sisters that serve in his household. The voice you hear will fade with time. You are alone. Only I can guide you in this serious matter.”

Ah-Jeh’s hands were firm upon her shoulders.

“I must first examine you. There is no need for alarm, but your word is not enough. I must be sure of your maidenhood.”

Li felt a hand applied to her scalp, the other to her neck, probing, pressing, strong fingers kneading the sinews of her throat; willpower was drawn from her as surely as the golden thread was wound from the cocoon. Li was hardly aware of the pressure applied to a point at the top of her skull and at the base of her throat—only of an engulfing tiredness that robbed her of all energy and drained any thought of re sis tance. The pressure was increased until she had no wish to move, no voice to question. She felt herself carried bodily and laid upon the bed.

As a rosy cloud settled over her, there was no real thought of protest,
only wonderment that she should so easily submit. The towel was opened; the hands of Elder Sister were firm and warm on her skin, applied with sure knowledge of her body—deepening pressure here, then there, the thumbs finding spots that released floods of well-being.

“Your chi is strong, but it is blocked. I will release it so that the channels of your energy flow freely.”

Li felt herself become two persons—one who yielded most readily, and another who looked on, deathly afraid. The hands were laid lightly upon the twin swellings of her breasts; she felt their points rise to the touch, then the hands shifted suddenly to her crotch, parting her softness. An unbearable tingling mounted from the roots of her hair to toes that clenched like fists, then a series of shocks passed through her to slowly ebb away, until she was immersed again by the rosy cloud.

Li had no idea how long she slept. For long moments she lay still, piecing together what had happened to her, before opening her eyes to find the room silent and darkened, the lamp turned down. Her perception was fogged, as though she had not taken part in things but had been a bystander. The physical pain that lingered from her encounter with the
larn-jai
was slight, but enough to remind her that this was no illusion.

Slowly, and with strengthening resolve, she recalled everything that had happened. She searched the shadows to find the superintendent seated in a pool of green light, engrossed in paperwork with small round spectacles perched on her nose.

Li left the bed quietly, wrapping herself in the towel. Ah-Jeh looked up, her face bathed in the lamp’s sickly pallor. She grinned, showing her dull, uneven teeth, and set aside her pen.

“You are awake and feeling stronger, I hope. You have slept well.”

Knowing the danger, Li hesitated for only a moment before speaking the words of her heart. “You betrayed my trust.”

Ah-Jeh’s eyebrows arched in surprise. She stared at Li, her eyes widened and alert.

Before she could reply, Li spoke again, her voice lowered and her tone even.

“You used your skills to confuse me … to take away my spirit. You did not ask for my permission to use me as you did.”

Ah-Jeh’s eyes narrowed as Li spoke, her mouth set in its grim, unyielding line, her brows drawn into a frown.

“I examined you as I said I would. Did you think that I would take your word as proof of your virginity? Would you admit to taking the cock of one of the
larn-jai
if it was forced upon you?” Elder Sister snatched the spectacles from her nose, tossing them aside.

“You did more than examine me.”

Ah-Jeh rose slowly from her seat, then delivered her words slowly, each as deliberate as a slap.

“And you enjoyed every second of it … you ate it like cake and would have feasted on more.”

She stepped out of the green glare, her eyes caught by sparks of red from the altar.

“I showed you what pleasure can be, when I could as easily have taken you beyond the boundaries of pain. I healed you when it was my duty to skin you alive. You lapped up my generosity like a kitten laps warm milk.”

“I am grateful for your kindness, but I ran from the Heavenly House because I am not a duck to be made plump for someone’s pot, or a piece of fruit to be eaten while it is ripe—”

Ah-Jeh’s brittle voice slashed her words, her round face thrust forward to look closely into Li’s eyes.

“How dare you, daughter of a whore? The sisters of
sau-hai
know all and are everywhere. Two of our number have dwelt beneath your father’s roof for more years than you have lived. I know the story of the fox fairy and the death of Great-Aunt … your defiance of the wives and your refusal of the lotus slippers and your alliance with Number Three, Ah-Su, from the island of Hainan. I even know what happened to your mother.”

Li gave a visible start. She no longer feared the short, fat woman before her, and had even found a certain respect for one who had acquired such power with so little beauty. But Elder Sister’s words hit her like a kick to the belly.

“What do you know of my mother? They would not even tell me where she rests.”