Read The Complete Burn for Burn Trilogy: Burn for Burn; Fire With Fire; Ashes to Ashes Online
Authors: Jenny Han
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Issues, #Emotions & Feelings, #Friendship, #Death & Dying
“Actually, no,” I say. “Our housekeeper is doing the wash right now. The most I could give you is a dishrag. Or paper towels. Sorry.”
Ashlin and Rennie share a look. PJ makes a sad face at me and starts to shiver. I roll my eyes and throw him my towel. PJ gives me a big smile. “Thanks, Lil!”
“Yeah, thanks a lot,” Reeve says.
Ashlin lets Derek borrow her towel. Rennie holds out hers for Reeve, but he declines the offer. Instead he just runs his hands over
his abs, wicking away the water, and grabs his clothes. “There’s a real shortage of hospitality up in here. You ready, Alex?”
“Yup.”
I walk over and open the gate for them. “Bye,” I say.
Reeve makes a peace sign at me and leaves, shaking his head. Since when is Reeve Tabatsky the authority on manners? I’ve seen him pick food out of the garbage. It was at Alex’s house, but still.
The boys file out behind Reeve, and Rennie and Ashlin go inside to change. I get up and lean against the fence. That’s when I overhear a conversation on the other side. Because Alex hasn’t left yet. His SUV is still in my driveway.
I hear Reeve say, “God, Cho is such a bitch. Do you think she knows that you and Nadia had a sleepover?”
I gasp.
“No way. Nadia swore to her that she slept at that girl Janelle’s house. There’s no way she’d tell her.”
“You’d better hope not,” Derek says.
Then Reeve says, “Bro, what are you even getting out of all this? I say you just stick with DeBrassio. I give that girl respect. She knows what kind of girl she is.”
Alex starts his SUV. “I know what I’m doing.”
Rennie comes up behind me and puts her hand on my shoulder. I jump, and say, “Hey. Where’s Ash?”
“She’s peeing. Lil, I don’t know how else to say this to you, but . . . you need to get it together.”
“What do you mean?” My mind is still racing. Nadia slept over at a boy’s house. Not just any boy. Lindy. Someone I thought was my friend. Who’d never do something like that. I don’t know why I’ve been so naive. Boys, they aren’t to be trusted. Not any of them.
“Those guys are our friends, and you don’t want to give them a towel? Today is Wednesday. Carlota isn’t even here today. I wasn’t going to call you out in front of everyone, but come on.” She looks around before lowering her voice. “Lil, you need to chill, or people are going to figure out something’s wrong.”
I can’t think straight. I lean against the fence, use it to hold myself up. “You’re right,” I manage to say. I’ll tell her whatever I have to, just to shut her up.
But she doesn’t. Her eyes light up. “OMG! I didn’t even tell you what happened at Bow Tie last night.”
This is it. Finally. “What?”
“Reeve and I kissed! I mean, it was only for a second. He pulled away and told me that I was too important to him to just be a
random hookup. Isn’t that the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard? I’m telling you, we’re like
this close
to being an official couple.” She does a spin, like she’s already wearing her wedding dress.
I force a smile. “You guys are perfect for each other. Honestly.”
* * *
After dinner I hear Nadia in the den, watching television, but I don’t join her. I could barely stand to look at her from across the kitchen table. I go straight up to my room, lie down on my bed, and wonder what I’m going to do now that I can’t trust anyone.
My phone buzzes, and I reach over to my nightstand to pick it up. It’s a text from a number I don’t recognize.
This is Karma. I’m a bitch. Can you think of anyone who deserves a bitch slap?
Oh, yes, I can. I can think of a few.
My phone buzzes again.
If so, meet at Judy Blue Eyes, 2am. If not, sit back and enjoy the show.
That’s what Kat always said she’d name her boat if she ever got one. After her mom. It was Judy’s favorite song.
MARY
I
T WASN’T ME.
I
T COULDN’T HAVE BEEN ME.
Whatever happened back at school, whatever that was—I don’t even want to think about it. I just want out of here. Off this island, away from Reeve and everything that reminds me of him and who I used to be.
When I get home, Aunt Bette’s Volvo is in the driveway. I quietly set my bike down on the front lawn and walk backward, toward the street. Forget my dresses, my clothes. Aunt Bette can send me everything later. All I know is that I
need to be on the next ferry out of here.
At the curb I turn and give the house one last look. I try to memorize the exact shade of gray the cedar shingles are, like the sky right before a summer storm. I count the white shutters bolted to each of the windows. Twelve. I trace the curve of the cobblestone walk through the air with my finger. I take it in, because this is the last time I’ll ever see this house again. I’m not ever coming back here. Never.
Then I take a deep breath and start the downhill walk toward the ferry, fighting back tears the whole way. I was crazy to think that Reeve would ever apologize for the terrible things he did to me. I always hoped, somewhere deep down inside, that I mattered to him. That, despite everything, there was something real between us. That he cared about me. That he was sorry for what he did.
I know now, I know for sure, that I was wrong. He’s never going to apologize to me, or acknowledge what he did. And so there’s no reason for me to stay.
My heart is pounding in my chest as I reach the ferry dock. I’m panting too hard to talk, so when I get to the ticket window, I stand a bit off to the side to give myself a chance to catch my breath. I watch from the shore as one boat docks and lets
its passengers on. A woman behind me takes my place in line. She tries to buy a ticket, but the four p.m. ride is sold out. The earliest she can get on is the six p.m.
It gets darker. More people line up to buy tickets, but I don’t make a move. I stand and watch and wait. I want to go back in line and buy my ticket. I want to so badly. Everything inside me is screaming
Go, go, go, go
. But I can’t. Something’s holding me back. Something’s keeping me here.
What is happening to me?
KAT
T
HE SKY IS BLACK.
I
’VE GOT THE TOP DOWN ON
D
AD’S
convertible, and the clock on the dashboard reads a quarter to two in the morning.
I check my cell phone one last time before chucking it into the backseat. No calls, no texts. Nothing. She’s not coming.
Why am I such an idiot?
I should have kept this whole revenge idea to myself. Revenge is supposed to be a solitary thing. I think I heard that somewhere. And I don’t know what help I thought Lillia could give me. Her
mind can’t go to the dark places mine does. She’s way too pure for that. And even with whatever’s going on between Lillia and Rennie, there’s no way Lillia would ever betray her. Actually, knowing Lillia, she’s probably reading my text out loud and Rennie’s laughing her ass off. I got too excited, and now look. I’m going to be done before I even get started.
Screw this. I’m just gonna go home and work on my early decision app to Oberlin. That’s the only thing that will get me through this year—the thought of finally getting off this island for good.
I pull into the ferry parking lot to turn around. The lights are off, the place is cleared out, except for one girl sitting on the curb. She’s got her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands, and her blond hair over one shoulder.
I think about cruising right past her, but something makes me slow down. As I get close, I see that it’s the girl from the bathroom.
“Bathroom girl,” I say, pulling to a stop.
“My name’s Mary,” she says. She’s chewing on a piece of hair.
“I know,” I lie. “I was being funny.” I shake my head and start over. “What the hell are you doing out so late?”
Her eyes are wide and frantic. “I have to get off the island.”
“Well, you know it’s almost two in the morning, right? There’s not going to be another ferry until tomorrow. You missed the last one by, like, three hours.”
Mary doesn’t say anything. She just stares off toward the piers. You can hardly tell water from the sky. Everything’s black. “I think I’m losing my mind.”
She says it, and honestly, I believe her. This girl is totally weird. But I should get down to the yacht club. On the minuscule chance that Lillia does show up, I need to be there. “Do you want a ride home or something?” I ask Mary, hoping her answer is no.
“I’m just going to wait. Maybe I’ll get up the guts to leave by the morning.”
“You’re going to sit here all night?”
“It’s only a few more hours. And then I never have to see this place again.”
“Where’s all your stuff? Didn’t you move here with anything?”
“I—I’ll get it some other time.”
This is crazy. Girlfriend is full-on freaking out. “Is this about Reeve?”
Mary lowers her eyes. “It’s always been about Reeve.”
I’m about to say,
Eff him
—but before I can, I see Lillia’s silver Audi fly down the road and take the first right into the yacht club parking lot. I can’t believe it. She showed. She actually showed.
“Get in,” I tell Mary, because I might be a bitch, but I’m not going to leave her here alone in the dark.
“I—”
“Hurry up!”
For a second Mary looks like she’s going to argue with me. If she does, I’m out of here. I don’t have time to baby her ass. Lillia might not even get out of the car if she doesn’t see me there. Mary hesitates, and then she tries to open the door, but it’s stuck. “It’s locked.”
“Let go of the handle,” I say, and push the unlock button, but when Mary tries the door, it still won’t open. God. “Just hop in, all right!”
“Who are you chasing?” she asks as I gun it to close the distance between us and Lillia’s taillights.
I don’t answer her. I just drive.
When we get into the parking lot, Lillia’s standing by her car. She’s got on a tight hooded sweatshirt, rolled-up pajama shorts with pink and red hearts on them, and flip-flops. Her hair is pulled up into a long ponytail. I think, from the way the moon
hits it, that it’s wet. She must have just taken her bath. That’s a weird thing about Lillia. She always took a bath every night like a kid. I guess some things don’t change.
“You’re late, Kat,” she says. Then she notices Mary with me, and her grip tightens around her car keys.
I hurry out of the car and walk over. I’m excited and relieved that Lillia’s here but trying to hide it. “She needed a ride,” I whisper. “Don’t worry. It’s cool.”
“Kat—” Lillia’s giving me the evil eye. “I’m not saying anything in front of her!”
I guess Mary can hear us, because she calls out, “It’s fine. I can go.” She climbs out of my car.
I hold up my hand for Lillia to give me a second, and I look back at Mary. I say, “Leave Jar Island tomorrow morning like a scared little baby?”
“I
am
scared. I’m scared out of my mind.”
“Of Reeve Tabatsky?” I’m actually pissed now. This girl needs to get a backbone, stat. “He ain’t shit. I won’t let him touch you.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.” Mary covers her face with her hands. “It’s me. I’m the problem. I—I just can’t get over it. I can’t move on.”
“Well, yeah. You don’t have any closure. The wrong hasn’t been made right. Reeve’s never gotten what’s coming to him.”
Lillia shakes her head. “Forget this. I’m out.” She clicks her car alarm. The headlights flash on and off like a lighthouse, and the doors unlock.
I sidle up to her car door and cover the handle with my back so she can’t open it. “Don’t leave now. You wouldn’t have come here if you didn’t want to get Alex as badly as I want to get Rennie.”
Mary slowly approaches us. “What did Alex do to you?”
Lillia hesitates before saying, “He didn’t do anything to me. He did something to my sister.”
Yeah, Nadia and me both. Not that I’m scarred or anything. It was just a stupid hookup. It could have been more, but he screwed that up. I’m over it. Almost.
Mary says, “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to intrude. I’m going to go. And listen, I promise I won’t tell a soul. You can trust me. I know more than maybe anyone else on the island how this kind of thing can weigh you down. I just . . . I think it’s really cool you both are going to do something about it.” She turns around and starts walking away, back toward the ferry. “Good luck.”
Lillia and I look at each other. “Wait!” I call out. Mary turns
around. “You want in on this, Mary? Help us . . . and we’ll help you take down Reeve.” I’m afraid to look at Lillia, because I know she’s probably pissed at me right now. But she doesn’t say anything. And she doesn’t leave, either.