The Collected Works of Chögyam Trungpa: Volume 4 (5 page)

Help me to cleanse the impurities of bindu, prāṇa, and mind

And attain enlightenment of this youthful kāya in the vase.
¹⁴

Padma Do Ngak Lingpa, think of me.

Look upon me from the unchanging realm of bliss and

emptiness. Enable me to completely fulfill

All the intentions of the victorious ones and their sons.

Ngakwang Yönten Gyatso,
¹⁵
think of me.

Look upon me from the realm of the union of space and wisdom.

May the habit of solidifying reality fall apart

And may I bring whatever occurs to the path.

Son of the victorious ones, Lodrö Thaye, think of me.

Look upon me from your nature of maitrī and compassion.

Enable me to realize that all beings are my kind parents

And wholeheartedly accomplish the benefit of others.

Padma Kargyi Wangchuk, think of me.

Look upon me from the realm of great bliss and luminosity.

Help me to liberate the five poisons into the five wisdoms.

And destroy my clinging to loss and gain.

Tennyi Yungtrung Lingpa, think of me.

Look upon me from the realm in which saṃsāra and nirvāṇa are equal.

May natural devotion be born in my being.

May realization and liberation simultaneously increase.

Kind root guru, think of me.

Look upon me from the top of my head, the place of great bliss.

May I meet my own mind, the face of dharmakāya

And attain buddhahood in one lifetime.

Alas!

Sentient beings like myself, evildoers with bad karma,

Have wandered in saṃsāra from beginningless time.

Even now we experience endless suffering,

And yet not even an instant of remorse has occurred.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I give rise to renunciation from my depths.

Although I have obtained a free and well-favored human birth,

I have wasted it in vain.

I am constantly distracted by the activities of this futile life.

Unable to accomplish the great objective of liberation and overcome by laziness,

I return empty-handed from a land of jewels.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I fulfill the purpose of human birth.

There is no one on earth who will not die.

Even now, one after another they pass away.

I also will die very soon,

And yet like an idiot, I prepare to live for a long time.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I curtail my worthless schemes.

I will become separated from my lovers and friends.

The wealth and food which I hoarded in miserliness will be enjoyed by others.

Even this body I hold so dear will be left behind.

My consciousness will wander in the unknown pardos of saṃsāra.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I realize the futility of life.

The black darkness of fear escorts me along.

The fierce red wind of karma chases after me.

Yama’s hideous messengers beat and hack me.

Thus, I experience the unbearable suffering of the lower realms.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I free myself from the chasms of the lower realms.

My faults are as large as a mountain, but I conceal them within me.

Others’ faults are as minute as a sesame seed, but I proclaim and condemn them.

I boast about my virtues, though I don’t even have a few.

I call myself a dharma practitioner and practice only nondharma.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I subdue my selfishness and pride.

I hide the demon of ego-fixation within, which will ruin me permanently.

All of my thoughts are the cause of perpetuating kleśas.

All of my actions have unvirtuous results.

I have not even gone toward the path of liberation.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I uproot my selfishness.

Just a little praise or blame makes me happy or sad.

A mere harsh word causes me to lose my armor of patience.

Even when I see helpless ones, compassion does not arise.

When needy people come to me, I am tied up by a knot of miserliness.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that my mind is mixed with the dharma.

I hold on dearly to futile saṃsāra.

For the sake of food and clothing, I completely abandon permanent objectives.

Though I have everything I need, I constantly want more and more.

My mind is duped by insubstantial and illusory things.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I am not attached to this life.

I cannot endure even the slightest physical or mental pain,

Yet I am so stubborn that I have no fear of falling into the lower realms.

Though I actually see unerring cause and effect,

Still I do not act virtuously, but perpetuate evil.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that conviction in karma arises in me.

I am hateful toward enemies and attached to friends.

I am stupified in darkness as to what should be accepted and rejected.

When practicing the dharma, I fall under the influence of discursiveness, sloth, and sleep.

When acting against the dharma, I am clever and my senses are alert,

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I conquer my enemy, the kleśas.

My outer appearance is that of an authentic dharma practitioner,

But inside, my mind is not mixed with the dharma.

Like a poisonous snake, the kleśas are concealed within me.

When I encounter bad circumstances, my hidden faults as a bad practitioner are revealed.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I can tame my own mind.

I don’t realize my own bad faults.

I maintain the form of a practitioner while engaging in various nondharmic pursuits.

Because of the kleśas, I am naturally accustomed to unvirtuous actions.

Again and again I give birth to a mind of virtue, but again and again it falls apart.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I see my own faults.

As each day passes, my death is nearer and nearer.

As each day passes, my being is harsher and harsher.

Though I attend my guru, my devotion becomes gradually obscured.

Love, affection, and sacred outlook toward my dharma companions grow smaller and smaller.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I tame my stubborn nature.

I’ve taken refuge, aroused bodhichitta, and made supplications,

But devotion and compassion are not born in the depths of my heart.

I give lip service to dharmic action and spiritual practice,

But they become routine and I’m not touched by them.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I may be one with the dharma.

All suffering comes from desiring happiness for oneself.

Although it is said that buddhahood is attained by considering the welfare of others,

I arouse supreme bodhichitta but secretly cherish selfishness.

Not only do I not benefit others, I casually cause them harm.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that I exchange myself for others.

The guru is buddha in person, but I regard him as an ordinary man.

I forget his kindness in giving profound instructions.

When he doesn’t do what I want, I lose heart.

His actions and behavior are clouded over by my doubts and disbelief.

Guru, think of me; look upon me quickly with compassion.

Grant your blessings so that unobscured devotion will increase.

My own mind is the Buddha, but I never realize this.