The Chronicles of Heaven's War: Burning Phoenix (43 page)

Ishtar exclaimed, “Oh, but I have met him,
once at least. He is not nice, nice at all. Makes your head spin
with fear and dread, turns you upside down!”

The troll raised a questioning eyebrow. “She
says we have met the Lord of Despair, and yet she arrives here
alive and in good health, and unknowing of this world. Strange that
is, very strange… We must watch this morsel more closely.”

He raised a finger high, shaking it. “Yep,
soon as those folks see they’re in trouble, they call out to my
cousin, Mindlessness, blaming him for all their woes and troubles.
Poor Mindlessness, all he did was permit them a door to walk
through, didn’t have to go, they didn’t, but blame poor ol’
Mindlessness anyway, saying they had no control over matters - that
he made them do it.”

“Finally we get to Timidity.” The troll
beamed as he told about this fated cousin. “Timidity has learned to
make sport of the ones he leads into these underworlds. Timidity
seeks out people who are indecisive and hesitant. Their kind are
overly concerned about every little thing, so afraid to make a
decision for fear it might well be the wrong one to make, which it
usually is for that kind. When opportunity is set before them, they
will wait until it is too late, wait to walk down a dark road for
fear of the highwayman, wait to gather the eggs in case they might
miss one, wait to love for fear of a broken heart. Wait and wait
and wait - that is what the timid one does.”

“Sooo…” The troll rubbed his chin in
thought. “Sooo…, when they arrive here, at my humble abode, they
don’t know at all what to do. Oh, I speak to them, and speak to
them, just like I am doing with you, but they don’t do anything for
fearing it will be the
wrong
anything. Then, when the
floodwaters rise, or the spiders come crawling, or the creepy
things come visitin’, they’re all in a mad hurry, dive into the
waters to make escape. Like I said, you’re not a prisoner here,
don’t need to make escape.”

Pointing into the blue-green crystal ocean,
he explained, “Off they go, this way and that, making rash
decisions about how to leave this place. Either they drown because
they forgot to catch a breath or two,” he smacked his lips again,
“or they disappear into this or the other dark passage, paying no
heed to where it might lead.”

Kicking a large piece of broken crystal into
the water, the rippling wake reaching Ishtar’s shore with its
gentle lapping, the troll bemoaned, “Anyway, yep, you guessed it,
all them indecisive people blame Timidity for their sad lot. If the
Fates were kinder to them, those bad things wouldn’t have happened.
How sad. How sad. The Fates and Timidity off and put the screws to
‘em again.”

He suddenly slammed his fist into an opened
hand. “Well, it ain’t the Fates’ fault! They were just
accommodating those lazy, mindless, timid no-goods who refused to
take responsibility for their own lives. There isn’t any
Fate
unless one wills it. They aren’t real, less someone
wants ‘em to be. It’s just an excuse for lack of common sense and
wisdom. Oh, yes, bad things happen that are beyond a body’s
control, like lightning striking out of the blue, but that body had
to place itself where it could be hit by the lightning to make it
happen. Who’s to say the lightning wouldn’t have struck the same
place anyway if ‘n no one had been there? None of us know.”

At that, the troll returned to the fire and
sat down, facing it. “There. I’ve told you as much as you need to
know, or as much as I’m willing to tell. Your father was smarter
than you, didn’t take nowhere as long to figure out what needed to
be done as you have, didn’t pester me with all those silly
questions either.”

Ishtar stood, peering across the waters.
“What of my mother? Has she come this way also?”

The troll harrumphed. “Everyone comes this
way at some time. Your mother passed through here long ago.”

“What of her?” Ishtar asked, concerned.
“What became of her? Did she go out too, like my father?”

Folding his arms on his chest, the old troll
harrumphed again, shaking his head. “I don’t do no family reunions!
Your mother was here, stayed a long time… maybe.” He glanced toward
the water. “I ain’t gonna tell you any more.” He stirred the dying
fire with the unburned end of a little stick. “Stay as long as you
like. Sort a’ quiet here most of the time anyway, nice place to
rest up. No need to go on that journey of yours, only lots of
trouble it will be, dangerous too.”

“What journey?” Ishtar quizzed. “Tell me of
the journey if you know.”

The troll shot an angry glance over at the
girl, rubbing his hungry stomach. “Ain’t no journey you need to
know about. Stay here and rest up a bit, wait awhile in this place.
It will grow on you. Soon you’ll like it here as much as I do.” He
smacked his lips one more time.

“
Tell me of my journey!”
Ishtar
demanded.

This did not set well at all with the troll.
He waved her off and got up to leave. “Too nosy it is! Tires us
out…” He trudged off, disgusted, disappearing into the cave from
which he came.

Ishtar screamed out in frustration,
clenching her fists, ordering the troll to return. Nothing, not one
peep or sound came from the cave. Angry, the girl sat to pout. She
didn’t want to be here, never wished to be. It wasn’t her fault
that all those bad things had happened to her. And the journey?
There must be other guiding hands placing her on their fated road.
There was nothing else for the girl to do but to surrender to
whatever the Fates had decided.

Ishtar’s head suddenly snapped up, eyes
wide, her thoughts all a-twirl. What were the troll’s warnings?
‘They always blame the Fates for their laziness, mindlessness,
and timidity. There are no Fates unless we will them, invent them,
and allow them to take over our lives.’
Was she inventing the
Fates in order to avoid responsibility for any actions taken, or
not taken? Was the old troll right when he accused her of being no
wiser than the others who mindlessly followed anything that
glittered in the darkness? Was she too lazy to even seek a path of
escape? Ishtar sat down, dismayed, burying her face in her hands,
and wept. Soon the distraught child fell fast asleep.

Ishtar awoke to a sound like that of a
gentle breeze drifting among the trees. She opened her eyes, half
expecting to find herself in a grassy field somewhere far from
where she had been. But, no, not at all! Indeed, the girl was still
sitting on the exact spot where she had last seen the old troll.
Then what was all the noise about? It had been very quiet before,
with only an occasional echoing drip of water falling from the
ceiling high above. What was it she was now hearing?

Glancing about the cavern, the girl quickly
became aware of subtle changes taking place. The merry glow of the
crystals appeared dimmer, gradually continuing to lose their
brightness as she watched. The lake carried with it a murkiness,
its waters slowly swirling about instead of their formerly becalmed
nature. And the rock shelf that she sat upon did not appear to be
sitting as high above the lapping waves as it earlier had. A gentle
breeze caressed the girl’s cheek, its damp, stale odor reminding
her of some dank cellar that one rarely enters. What was going
on?

It suddenly occurred to her that air long
hidden in deep, dark caverns was being pushed out of its former
dwelling place, but by what, and how? The sight of bubbles escaping
the surface of the once placid lake betrayed an ominous reality.
Somewhere, other caves once filled with air were now flooding.
Possibly rain storms in the world above had unleashed their
torrential madness, delivering a flood to this subterranean world
far below. Ishtar nearly shrieked in panic at the thought that this
cavern might soon become a roiling, frothing, dark abyss.

Hopping up, Ishtar ran to the rock’s edge,
staring down into the growing murk. What was she to do? Her first
urge was to do something, anything. She didn’t intend to end up
like the lazy souls who slowly drowned when floodwaters rose. With
heart racing, she prepared to make her escape. As she took a step
to dive from the rock, part of the
troll’s
warning riddle
came to mind, crying, “
They thought too fast! Too fast! Not used
to thinking, they were. Thought too fast
!
”

The old troll had said she wasn’t smart like
her father. Was she really mindless, didn’t think enough? Why, she
never had to think before, there always being someone there to do
the thinking for her. Now she stood alone upon the edge of the
world with only her own thinking, reasoning, to guide her. It was
mindless people who rushed off into the darkness by making rash
decisions. They went too deep, or journeyed off mindlessly to end
up at the doorstep of the Lord of Despair.

Ishtar wished not to play the fool, so
decided to try to think things out. After all, there was still some
time left for decision making. She could see far into the cloudy
waters, and the stone upon which she stood remained dry for the
moment. The point was time remained for her to attempt a wise
decision, and then act on it accordingly.

“Let’s see…” She pondered aloud, tapping the
side of her face in thought as she did. Looking across the way, the
girl wondered if escape could be found by swimming over to the
troll’s side and then making her way into the tunnel the troll
disappeared through. She shook her head. “No. No. Doesn’t feel
right… Maybe it ends in the troll’s lair, and I’ll wind up being
his dinner.”

Looking at the growing turbulence of the
lake, she wondered, ‘Too deep? Too deep? Did he mean that the
mindless often over-thought, went too deep in their thinking when
they finally started thinking? By seeking escape in the depths far
below, a person might not look for more obvious ways to get out, or
they might overreach and run out of air before securing their
delivery.’

She frowned. ‘Or possibly the Lord of
Despair lures those people into his evil den when the darkness of
the depths below overwhelms them.’ The depths were no place she
wanted to go. Possibly along the submerged rock face there was an
opening, or, she shuddered, maybe there were many openings, not all
providing safe exit.

Ishtar stepped back from the stone’s edge.
What was she to do? A decision must be made, but what should it be,
and who was here to help her? Decisions were never the girl’s
forte. There had always been someone there to guide her, help her,
tell her what she should do.

Her mind filled with foggy memories of when
she was caught in Despair’s evil web, something about smashing a
statue of sorts, but it had been such an easy decision to make. All
she had to do then was the right thing. This felt so different. She
needed to properly decipher the riddling clues given her and then
act. The mind must sort things out properly, mustn’t be hasty.
Think fast, but think things through.

Ishtar rubbed her chin in thought, finally
pointing while speaking aloud. “All right, the passage out must be
along that far rock face, because that was the direction the troll
always glanced in when he spoke of my father going out.”

There was a sudden rush of frothing bubbles
erupting on the surface of the water. The flood must be growing in
power. Ishtar had to decide quickly. What if she was wrong? What if
the troll was tricking with her, leading her to her doom? Fear grew
in a desperate heart. The girl’s hands began shaking. What was she
to do? Doomed, doomed, she was, just like all the others who
trusted to the Fates instead of taking matters into their own hands
and acting with determined resolve.

A sudden rush of foam exploded from the
waters, drenching the girl and soaking the stone. Hopelessness
enveloped her, she shrinking away from the rising water in
desperate hope of finding a secure perch to wait out the flood. She
reasoned maybe the rains above were not that great and the flood
would die down soon. Or possibly there was a hidden passage on this
side of the lake that she could use for flight, and flight it must
soon be, or she, too, would become just another meal for the troll
to feast upon.

“No!” Ishtar shouted in defiance, planting
her feet where she stood. Her father was a brave man, born from a
long line of brave men. The troll said he did not cower here, but
took the contest to Adversity and defeated it. She was a child of
his blood.

‘
Come back carrying your shield, or on
it
.’ That was the motto of her father, learned from the
Spartans and adopted by his company when he served in the Roman
Legions. Well, she was no coward either, scared for sure, but not
willing to surrender to what might appear a hopeless moment.

Ishtar stepped forward until her toes hung
over the rock’s edge. Under the waters, far forward and off to the
left, there must be a passage leading out of this place, and she
was going to find it. At that, the girl pushed off from the
outcropping, diving head first in the frothing waters.

Struggling in the turbulence of swirling
bubbles mixed with litter scoured up from the bottom by the
inrushing flood, Ishtar fought her way to the far end of the
cavern. Clinging to the chiseled rock face, she looked about while
catching her breath. Already the outcropping that had been home
during her visit here was awash, it gone from sight in the fading
light. Soon this world would be dark, leaving the girl to search
for the passage, blind. She shuddered, remembering just how black
these places could become.

Sucking in a giant breath, Ishtar dove
below, along the rock face to find her way out. Down she swam until
she reached the edge of light. In the ghostly shadows of the
underworld, the girl began her search. At least the currents were
not so violent, the water not quite as murky. Here, along this wall
and away from the storm, the girl felt hopeful, her trepidation
slowly subsiding. As dread fled from her, she could begin to think
about the task at hand. She was finding that committing to this
journey by leaving perceived security behind and diving headlong
into the unknown had somehow given her the courage to continue the
quest, and had sharpened her mind to handle the task at hand.