Authors: Karen Kirst
“I’m curious about something.”
“What’s that?”
Kate moved away from him and pretended interest in the chair he’d been assembling.
“How come you don’t work in the dairy with your father and brothers?”
With a poignant smile, he carefully leaned back against the table and put his hands in his pockets. “My grandfather was a master woodworker. Every summer during our visits to his house, I’d beg to help him build something. The summer I turned ten, he decided I was old enough to help without hurting myself. He was a good teacher. Patient. Taught me everything I know.
“Soon I started collecting tools. I cleared out a space in our barn where I could work after my chores were done.” He shifted his weight. “My dad was great. He gave me the freedom to choose my path. And I’m fortunate my brothers didn’t mind the dairy business. Nathan’s a natural animal lover, and Caleb likes the solitary nature of the job.”
Glancing at the stacks of lumber in the corner, she murmured, “So you’re doing what you love and making a living at it.”
And I’m the reason your dream of expanding fell apart.
“I’m a fortunate man.”
How could he stand to look at her after what she’d done? Flouncing into town and invading his home, his family and, ultimately, his business. In that instant, she knew she couldn’t stay. If he didn’t want to purchase the store from her, she’d give it to him. He’d be angry, of course, his pride wounded, but she’d be long gone before he found out.
“Josh,” said Nathan, as he shoved open the door, his face and hair dripping wet. “Bess is terrible sick, and Pa’s getting the wagon ready for deliveries later today. Can you lend me a hand?”
“Sure.” He untied his apron and hung it on the wall. When he stopped in front of Kate, his eyes held a touch of disappointment. “In case you forgot, Bess is the brand-new momma cow. I’m not sure how long I’ll be. This may take a while.”
Relieved at the interruption, she managed, “I’ll go and see if Mary needs my help with anything.”
“I’ll see you later.” Plucking his hat off the table and settling it on his head, he followed Nathan out into the downpour.
Kate didn’t move for the longest time. As soon as she had a chance, she’d pen a letter explaining everything. Then she’d make preparations to leave Gatlinburg.
Sorrow squeezed her heart. Unable to face anyone, she decided against returning to the main house and dashed across the soggy yard to her cabin.
In an effort to push aside thoughts of leaving, she wrote her parents a letter. She also wrote to her sister, careful to keep it impersonal. If Francesca guessed Kate’s feelings for Josh, who knew how she’d react.
The remainder of the day passed slowly. The rain continued through the afternoon, and eventually she grew drowsy from the unrelenting pitter-patter against the roof. Stretching out on the sofa, she pulled the quilt up to her chin and drifted to sleep.
The dream started innocently enough. Another party at the estate. Couples dancing and laughing. Soon the bright, cheerful colors dimmed. The guests disappeared. Now it was just her and Wesley. Walking down the long, dark corridors of the basement in search of the wine cellar. This was a maid’s or butler’s job, she mentioned. He wanted to see her father’s celebrated collection for himself, he said. And glorying in his undivided attention, she happily led the way.
Inside the low, brick-walled room, Wesley stood very near. He held her hand. Told her she was beautiful. The candle flame flickered out, utter darkness descended and her childhood fears overtook her. Terror caught her in its grip. Shaking uncontrollably, she reached out frantically for Wesley.
His voice soothed her as he pulled her into his strong embrace.
“No.” She shook her head. “We mustn’t.”
His hands gripped her shoulders. “Kate, wake up.”
“No.” She twisted her head away. “Wesley, stop!”
“Kate!” He gently shook her, his voice very near her ear.
But it wasn’t Wesley’s voice. It was Josh’s.
Slowly she became aware of her surroundings. She was lying on the sofa in the cabin. And Josh was there, sitting on the edge of the cushion, leaning over her.
His eyes were dark with concern. “Kate, you were having a bad dream.”
Shoving her hair out of her eyes, she scooted up into a sitting position. “I must’ve dozed off.”
As he stood to his feet, his gaze remained fixed on her. “Who’s Wesley?”
Josh watched the tumble of emotions on Kate’s face. She turned her gaze away.
“He’s, um, a friend of the family’s.”
Her reaction to a simple question had his senses on high alert.
“And you were dreaming about him?”
She stood to fold the quilt, smoothing it into a tidy square. “People dream about friends and acquaintances all the time, don’t they? Even those they don’t see on a daily basis.”
Her effort to remain casual told him there was something more to this than she was letting on. “It wasn’t a pleasant dream. Did he hurt you?”
She hesitated a second too long. “No.”
When she made to move past him, he caught her arm. Her shadowed eyes flew to his face. “Your sister deceived me. Don’t do that to me, Kate.”
The color drained from her face. “I would never hurt you the way she did,” she insisted, anguish underscoring her words.
He believed her. Still, doubt wormed its way into his mind. She was keeping something from him.
He dropped his hand, unsettled by the entire exchange. He’d come to bring her a plate of food, since she hadn’t shown up for supper. When he’d walked in and seen her asleep on the sofa, he hadn’t been able to resist watching her for a moment.
She’d looked so peaceful—a sweet smile on her lips, her dark hair spread out in a curtain across the pillow. In an instant, her sleep had become troubled. And when she’d starting calling out, he’d decided to wake her.
He stoked up the fire, gritting his teeth at the pain shooting up his sides. It had been an exhausting day. Pushing and prodding a sick cow hadn’t helped his injured ribs. “Your supper is on the table.”
She didn’t respond. He heard the scrape of chair legs on the floor and assumed she was eating. When he turned, she was sitting at the table all right. But she wasn’t eating. Hands resting in her lap, she was staring out the window. Her dejected expression wrenched his heart.
Blowing out a breath, Josh went to her. Crouching down, he covered her hands with his.
When she angled her face down, her pale eyes shimmered with unshed tears.
“Please don’t be upset. I wasn’t comparing you to your sister. You have a sensitive, caring heart. I know you wouldn’t willingly hurt anyone.”
“Oh, Josh—” her lower lip trembled “—have you ever done something you later regretted?”
“Of course.” He gave a sardonic laugh. Asking Francesca to marry him ranked at the top of the list.
“Me, too.” Her gaze skittered away. “I believe the Bible when it says God forgives me when I mess up. My head believes it, but at times I have a tough time convincing my heart.”
“Sometimes you have to set aside your feelings and make the conscious decision to trust in His promises. 1 John 1:9 says, ‘If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.’ He forgives us, not because we deserve it, but because of His goodness and the love He has for us.”
“You’re right,” she said softly. “I have to keep reminding myself.”
“Is there something bothering you? I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”
“I’ve no doubt about that.” She pressed her fingertips to her temples. “Actually, I have a headache. I think I might retire for the night.”
“It may be you need to eat something.” Josh stood. “I’ll leave you to eat your supper in peace. See you in the morning?”
“Sure.” She seemed distracted.
She made to rise, but he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “Sit. I’ll let myself out. Just remember to lock it before you go to sleep.”
Walking across the damp yard, he couldn’t shake the feeling of unease. Francesca had been involved with another man throughout the duration of their courtship. She’d been toying with him. Using him to make another man jealous. Any man would be distrustful after tangling with a deceitful woman.
Kate’s different,
he reminded himself.
Why, then, had she acted so strangely when he’d inquired about the man in her dreams?
Face facts, O’Malley. You want her for yourself, and the idea of any other man having a claim on her doesn’t sit well with you.
No, that wasn’t true. He’d been careful to guard his heart.
Kate Morgan wasn’t the woman for him.
Keep telling yourself that, O’Malley. You just may start to believe it.
Chapter Fifteen
S
omething was bothering Kate.
He could see it in the slight slump of her shoulders and the sadness tingeing her smiles. Her gorgeous green eyes no longer sparkled. And she was eating even less than usual.
Despite various attempts to get her alone, he hadn’t succeeded. She was deliberately avoiding him, and he couldn’t figure out why.
Perhaps today he’d get answers.
Reaching into the wardrobe cabinet, he slipped his gray suit off the hook and dressed with care. She was taking photographs of their family today. The gash on his cheek had healed enough so that it wouldn’t show.
“See ya downstairs,” said Nathan, shaved and dressed in his dark brown suit, as he disappeared through the doorway.
Five minutes later, Josh descended the steps in a hurry, only to jerk to a stop at the bottom. Kate was there in the living room gazing out the window, a vision in a creamy yellow confection of a dress that complemented her lustrous brown hair and green eyes. She turned at the sound of his footsteps.
Was it his imagination or had he seen a flash of longing on her face before she’d schooled her features?
“Good morning, Kate. How did you sleep?”
“I slept well, thank you.”
Her polite smile wedged beneath his skin like a splinter.
“I don’t believe you.”
Startled, her composure slipped. “Excuse me?”
Reaching up, he lightly touched a fingertip to the bruised skin beneath her eyes. “Your face tells another story.”
Sucking in a breath, she stepped back. “I—I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
His patience snapped. Closing the distance between them, he clasped her hands. “What’s wrong, Kate? I know something’s bothering you. I—”
“We’re ready if you are, Kate.” His mother, wearing her favorite pink floral dress and the pearl necklace his father had given her on the day of their wedding, bustled in from the kitchen.
Dropping her hands, Josh paced away from her.
“I have everything set up on the front lawn.”
“Lead on, then,” said Mary, smiling with enthusiasm.
Out front, his father and Caleb waited beneath the branches of a hundred-year-old oak. Pa, still fit and in good health, looked dapper in his pin-striped suit. Caleb paced in his gray trousers, black brocade vest and burgundy dress shirt, his expression clearly stating he’d rather be anywhere else.
Kate approached her camera perched on its stand, removed the lens cover and peered into the viewfinder. Straightening, she moved with careful steps to survey the area, all intense concentration and focus.
The first portrait was to be of the entire family. With an easy manner and pleasant yet firm tone, she directed everyone into position, all the while avoiding eye contact with Josh.
“All right, everyone.” She circled behind her camera, scalloped lace underskirts catching on the blades of grass. Framed against the dreary skies, she was a burst of sunshine. “I need for you to stand very still until the exposure is complete. It takes approximately sixty seconds.”
Stooping to peer through the viewfinder, she recapped the lens only until she’d removed the cover from the dry plate. “Ready? Here goes.” Then, snatching off the lens cover, she held up her hand to remind them not to move.
“Got it!” She beamed after a minute. “Now, Sam and Mary, how about one with just the two of you? Then I can take one of your sons by themselves.”
Josh and his brothers stood off to the side while Kate maneuvered their parents into place. He didn’t miss the love in his mother’s eyes as she glanced up at his father, nor the tender way he held her close. Life on a working farm and raising three rambunctious boys couldn’t have been easy. They’d faced their share of hardships, but it had only made them stronger as a couple. And they’d learned to find joy in the simple things.
He wanted that same loving partnership for himself. He studied Kate. If only things were different…
“Josh? Hello?” Nathan snapped his fingers in front of his face. “It’s our turn.”
Embarrassed to be caught woolgathering, he was quiet as he headed toward the desired spot. Passing by her, he inhaled her citrusy scent and, unable to resist, tugged on a lemon-hued ribbon entwined in her dark locks. The backs of his fingers brushed against her nape.
She sucked in a breath, turned wide, questioning eyes on him. The air between them shimmered with unspoken longing. Okay, he shouldn’t have done that.
Nathan cleared his throat. Josh dropped his hand.
Get a grip, O’Malley.
“You, ah, had a ribbon out of place,” he murmured. “It’s fixed now.”
Cheeks blazing, she nodded and turned to direct his brothers. Her voice was not as steady as before, but she maintained her businesslike approach.
When she’d taken the photograph, Caleb groused, “Are we done? I’ve got work to do.”
Before anyone could answer, he stomped off toward the house to change. The door slammed behind him.
“Wait—” Mary clasped her hands together “—we don’t have a picture of you, Kate. Do you think you could show Samuel what to do so that you can have your picture made with the boys?”
Kate appeared uncertain. “I suppose so. Are you positive you want one?”
“Of course, dear.” She patted Kate on the shoulder. “You’re part of the family now.”
She dipped her head, but not before Josh caught sight of the sudden tears springing to her eyes. He yearned to hold her then, to ease her loneliness. Anger rose hot and swift in his chest at the way her parents and sister had alienated her, made her feel inadequate. How could they not see how kindhearted and special she was?
When she’d finished showing Pa how to work the camera, Mary suggested, “Why don’t you stand over there with Joshua and Nathan?”
Nathan settled a hand on Josh’s shoulder and addressed her. “Sorry, Ma, I’ve got a barn full of cows waitin’ to be milked. Kate, I hope you understand.”
With a parting squeeze, he strode away. Josh made a mental note to take both of his brothers to task later on. While Caleb had been just plain rude, Nathan had bailed in a sly attempt to push the two of them together.
Ma linked an arm with Kate and him and guided them to the tree. “I suppose it’s just the two of you, then.” She sounded much too cheerful to his ears.
Flushed with embarrassment, Kate glanced over at Josh and caught his intense scrutiny. Did this make him uneasy? It certainly made her feel that way. The knowledge that she was leaving made being near him difficult.
Mary urged them closer until their shoulders touched, then went to stand beside Sam. “Look and see if that’s gonna be a good shot,” she urged.
“I’m curious,” Josh said softly without turning his head, “how many portraits you’ve had taken of yourself. Since you’re usually behind the camera, that is.”
Still staring at the camera, she replied, “Very few. I’m sorry you’ve been placed in this position. Don’t feel compelled to ask for a copy of the print if you don’t want one.”
“Why would you say that?” He did turn his head then. “Of course I want one.”
Though she knew it was irrational, his vehemence pleased her deep inside.
“All right, you two,” Mary called, “we’re ready. Joshua, unless you want to be caught forever mooning at Kate, look over here.”
Kate heard his heavy sigh and almost smiled. Hardly daring to breathe, they stood unmoving until Sam replaced the cover as she’d instructed him to do.
“I guess that’s it,” Mary announced with satisfaction. “Thank you so much, Kate.”
“It was my pleasure,” she assured her, moving to gather up her equipment. “I’ll develop these as soon as possible and make sure you get a copy of each one.”
Josh’s hand closed over hers. “I’ll help you with this.”
She released the tripod stand with reluctance. “Thank you.”
Mary and Sam headed for the house. Beside her, Josh was quiet as they walked across the yard. When he’d deposited her gear on the table, he slipped his hands into his pockets and regarded her with questioning eyes.
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Josh.” She sighed.
“Is it me? Have I done something to anger you or make you upset?”
“I’m leaving.”
His head jerked back. “Gatlinburg?”
Gripping the top rung of the chair rail, she nodded. “It’s time.”
“I don’t understand,” he ground out. “What about the studio? And your book?”
“I can’t get over the fact that I’m standing in the way of your dream. If you don’t want the store space, I’ll put it up for sale. As for the book, I’m shelving that idea for the time being. Perhaps in the future…”
“You didn’t do it intentionally.”
“My intentions are irrelevant.”
“What can I do to convince you that I don’t blame you for any of this?”
“Simply put—I can’t enjoy it. Every time I step foot in there, I think of you and your furniture and all the hard work you’ve done to achieve your goals. I’ve made up my mind, Josh. Nothing you can say will change it.”
The next morning, Josh was in that drifting state between sleep and wakefulness when his mother poked her head in his room. “Joshua? Are you awake?”
“Not exactly,” he mumbled into the pillow.
“Are you going to be around today?”
He struggled to open his eyes. “Yeah. I’ll be in the workshop. Why?”
“Your father and I have some business to attend to. Caleb is accompanying us.”
That got his attention. Pushing upward, he peered at her. “Oh? What did you use to bribe him?”
Ignoring his remark, she said, “Nathan is headed over to the Foster farm, and I’m not sure what time he plans to be back. I don’t want Kate left alone. Can you keep an eye on her?”
“Sure. I’ll be around all day.”
“Oh, good,” she said, relieved. “I’m going down to fix coffee.”
When she’d left, Josh cradled his head in his hands and stared up at the ceiling.
Kate’s announcement yesterday had sent him reeling. While he was touched by her concern for his happiness, he couldn’t comprehend her reasoning. He’d seen her in action—it was plain as day that she loved her work. Owning a studio would not only give her an avenue to pursue her passion, it would also grant her independence from her family. She had a chance at a new life here.
She had new friends. And his family had practically adopted her. Not only that, but she loved these mountains as much as he did.
After all the sorrow in her life, she deserved this.
It also struck him as odd that he wasn’t jumping at the chance to take possession of the store. Here she was, offering to hand it over, and all he could think about was her happiness.
He may not have a store to stock, but he still had customer orders to fill.
There’d be other opportunities for him to expand, but apparently God had other plans at this time. So he’d just keep doing what he’d been doing. Taking individual orders and doing his utmost to please his customers.
Lord, I’m so confused. The thought of her leaving kills me. Help me, Father. I must keep my wits about me. Remember all the reasons we can’t be together.
Downstairs in the kitchen, he asked, “Have you seen Kate this morning?”
“She stopped in earlier.” Ma wrapped her shawl around her shoulders. “All she wanted was a cup of tea. Said she wasn’t hungry.”
“Hmm.” Brows pulled together, Josh glanced out the dining room windows. Had she been eating at all the past few days? Worried, he debated going over there.
Then he noticed the sky’s odd color. “Are you going far? Looks like it might rain.”
“No. And I’m sure your father will keep an eye on the weather. See you later, dear.”
She went to join his father and brother in the barn, and he heard the team pull out not long after. He ate his breakfast with haste, not lingering to savor his coffee as he would’ve if Kate had joined him at the table.
Outside, a stiff breeze raised goose bumps on his arms. Holding on to his hat, his boots ate up the distance between the main house and the cabin. Music greeted him on the front steps. One foot on the porch, his hand gripping the railing, he paused to listen.
The delicate, ethereal notes put him in mind of angels and cherubs, of lush flower gardens and flowing waterfalls. Kate’s harp, he mused. Lovely music suited to a sophisticated, talented young lady.
Would she let him watch her play? he wondered.
A raindrop splattered on his hand, then another. Eyeing the rain-swollen clouds hanging low in the pale yellow sky, he realized with a pang of disappointment that he’d have to wait for another time. He was in for a soaking if he didn’t get to his shop soon.
With one last glance at Kate’s door, he pivoted on the step and sprinted away.
Kate discovered that weathering a thunderstorm in a solidly constructed mansion was vastly different than in a two-room, built-by-hand cabin. Huddled on the sofa beneath a mound of quilts, she winced at each flash of lightning and the resounding boom of thunder that shook the cabin’s foundation right afterward. Dark clouds had rolled in about an hour earlier and the storm didn’t show signs of abating.