The Bones of Valhalla (Purge of Babylon, Book 9) (36 page)

…losing him…

“Will,” she said softly. “This is a dream.”

He smiled at her. “I just wanted to see you again as the man you remembered.”

“I don’t think I ever remembered you in a Hawaiian shirt.”

He laughed. It was loud and hearty and her heart filled up hearing it, because the Will she knew was reserved and thoughtful and he rarely just let it out like he was doing now. And she beamed, because his laughter was so wonderful and she couldn’t get enough.

“No,” he said, “but I thought it would be a nice touch.”

“It is,” she said. “It is.”

She kissed him on the lips again. Softly, gently, afraid of breaking him.

“Will,” she said, the sound of his name like music to her ears. “How are you doing this?”

“We’re connected. We’ve always been connected.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

“So why didn’t you do this before?”

“Because once I make the first connection, I won’t be able to sever it. I’ll always be there at the back of your mind. It can be…uncomfortable for some people.”

“Like you and Kate.”

He nodded. “But it was never this powerful with her. What you and I have…” He was glowing in the sunlight, the smile frozen on his lips, contagious. “It’s stronger than with anyone else.”

“So what does this mean?”

His smile faded.

“Will,” she said, the joy draining from her until there was just that empty hole in her soul again. “What does this mean for us? For you, out there in the real world?”

“I lied to you.”

“About what?”

“Mabry. I lied when I said killing him would reverse the infection. There is no reversal, Lara. What’s done can’t be undone.”

Her arms came loose and she pulled away from him, taking one, then two steps back in the sand. The water continued to lap at her feet but she barely noticed it now, too consumed by the whirlwind of emotions ripping through.

“You lied to me,” she said. “You lied to me…”

“I’m sorry.”

“What else did you lie about?”

“Not everything. I can end this nightmare by killing Mabry. I can give you and humanity a second chance. A real, fighting chance.”

“How?”

“I told you about him. How Mabry’s the beginning and the end. The everything and the nothing. The nowhere and the everywhere. He exists in here.” Will tapped his temple. “Even when he’s not there, he’s there.
We come from him, Lara. All of us.”

“The ghouls…”

“Yes.”

She saw the sadness in his eyes, but there was also something else there that hadn’t been before:
Acceptance.

“Every ghoul comes from him,” Will continued. “His blood flows through our veins. In so many ways, he gave birth to us. He’s our father.”

“Your father?”

“It’s how they look at it. The brood. They are his children. They obey him without question. They go to sleep with his voice in their heads, and wake up with it comforting them. He is the everything, and the nothing. Everywhere, and nowhere. The beginning…and the end.”

“What’s happening at the Dome right now, Will? Where are you?”

“Still there. Danny’s with me. He’s helping me to finish it.”

“How can you be there and here at the same time?”

“This is just a dream, Lara. You were right. It’s a shared connection between the two of us. A bubble that exists outside of time.”

She shook her head. She didn’t understand any of it and she didn’t care to try, because he had lied to her. He told her he could save them and himself, and he had
lied to her.

But slowly, very slowly, the anger slipped away, because she knew why he had done it. Because she would never have agreed to the plan if it meant he wouldn’t return, wouldn’t come back to her even if it wasn’t as the man she loved.

He did it for you. Everything he’s done, it’s been for you, you stupid girl.

She walked back to him. She put her hand on his cheek, and he closed his eyes and leaned into it. She smiled and held him there, enjoying the warmth of his skin. It was so unlike the last time they had made contact, below deck on the
Trident.
He wasn’t the Will he once was then—or the Will he was now.

“Will I remember any of this when I wake up?” she asked.

“Do you want to?”

“Yes. Very much.”

“Then you will. The same way I remembered my dreams with Kate. It lingers. Always. That’s why I never joined with you before. It can be disturbing always having another consciousness at the back of your mind. And our bond is so much stronger…”

“Then why now?”

He smiled at her, and it was genuine and touching, and the sadness had left his eyes, replaced by happiness. “I wanted to see you again. I wanted to explain why I lied, why I did what I did. But most of all, I wanted to tell you that I love you.”

She put her other hand on his other cheek and held him steady. Even as her mind processed everything he had said—the magnitude behind his words—she clung onto him for as long as possible.

“You’re leaving me,” she whispered. “You’re leaving me again.”

“I have to,” he whispered back, covering her hands with his and squeezing, hard. “It’s the only way.”

“Why?”

“Because Mabry’s dead. I killed him. His death will leave a hole, and someone has to fill it.”

“You.”

“Yes. They saw me kill him. They heard him crying in pain before his last moments.”

“You overthrew him,” she said, and pursed a smile at the thought.

“It was the only way to make them listen. To make them pay attention. Not all of them will do it—obey me—but enough will to make a difference in the days to come. Enough to give you and everyone a fresh start.”

“And what about you?”

He squeezed her hand even tighter, then leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead.

“Will,” she whispered. “What about you?”

“I have to show them,” he whispered. “They won’t do it unless I show them that there’s nothing to fear. It’s the only way.”

“Why you?”

“Because…I love you.”

He pulled away, but she wouldn’t let him go. She held onto his hands, but he somehow slipped through anyway and stepped back, and back…

“Will,” she said. “Don’t go.”

“It’s the only way it’ll work,” he said. “I have to show them. I have to lead them.”

“Do something
else.
”

“I would if I could, you must know that. But this is the only way.”

“Will, no.”

He stopped, but the dozen or so feet between them might as well be an ocean. The sun played tricks with her eyes, and she could barely make out his face for some reason. She wanted to run over to him, to hold onto him and never let go, but her legs refused to obey her.

Move! Why won’t you move?

“Lara,” he said, the sound of her name on his lips filled with so much joy that her heart ached just to hear it. “Take care of our friends. Take care of Danny. Take care of everyone for me.”

She held out a hand toward him, pleading for him to take it. “Don’t go.”

“I have to.”

“No…”

“I love you. I’ll always love you.”

She tried to force her legs to move, but they wouldn’t, even as Will got smaller, slipping further and further away from her.

“You have more important things to do now,” he said. Though it shouldn’t have been possible with the crashing waves and the growing distance, she could hear his voice just fine, as if he were standing right next to her and not slowly but surely vanishing before her eyes. “They’re going to come to you, ask you to lead them. You should, because you can. You’re stronger than you think you are. Even now, after all you’ve done, all you’ve accomplished, you’re still capable of so much more. I believe in you, Lara. Now you have to keep believing in yourself.”

“Stop!” she screamed. “Will, stop!”

But he didn’t, and he turned, and continued walking away.

As the waves splashed against her bare feet and the wind whipped at her hair, she knew he was never coming back, that this would be it—the final time she got to see him. Not just as the Will she always remembered and loved, but the new Will too, the one in Houston right now with Danny.

He was leaving her…and this time he wouldn’t come back.

* * *

S
he opened
her eyes to Keo’s voice coming through the speakers, the sound of helicopter blades
whup-whup-whupping
in the background.

“I can’t believe what I’m seeing. They’re just… They’re just walking out of the buildings and into the sun. Jesus, there’s so many of them. I had no idea there were so many… God, what is this? What’s happening?”

She looked over at Carly, standing next to her, one hand gripping the headrest of her chair so tightly that her fingers were ghost-white.

Rhett had the microphone and said into it, “Eagle One, can you confirm what Striker’s seeing?”

“Striker’s right; I’m seeing the same thing,” Cole said. “There are just ashes down there. Ashes and bones. It’s like a graveyard. And they’re still coming out of the buildings. Every single building in the city. God
damn.
They’re just walking outside and dying by the hundreds, thousands…”

“I have to show them,”
Will had said.
“They won’t do it unless I show them that there’s nothing to fear. It’s the only way.”

“Rolling Thunder,” Rhett said into the mic, “can you confirm what they’re seeing?”

“Fuck yeah, I can,” Peele said. He sounded almost delirious. “When they started coming out of the buildings, I thought for sure we were fucked. But they’re just dead. Again. Whatever. You know what I mean. They’re just stepping outside and burning and
poof
,
like that, gone. Never seen anything like it. Jesus Fuck.”

“That man’s got a way with words,” Carly said, and Lara wasn’t sure if her friend was going to cry or laugh, or do both.

Lara reached for the second mic. “Keo, can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” Keo said.

“What about Gaby and Blaine? What about Danny?”

“Gaby’s right beside me…”

She waited for him to add Danny’s and Blaine’s names, but he didn’t. In fact, he didn’t say anything else.

“Keo,” she said, too afraid to say the rest of it.

“Blaine didn’t make it,” Keo said. “And Danny’s MIA.”

Lara glanced over at Carly, her friend’s face as pale as she had ever seen it.

“We lost sight of him when we were hightailing it out of the tunnel,” Keo said. “Gaby thinks he went back for Frank. But I don’t know.”

“What
do
you know?”

“Nothing. Nothing for sure. We’re circling now, heading back to the Dome.”

Lara leaned into the mic, but she didn’t say anything right away. She dreaded what she was going to say next, with the dream still fresh in her mind. Even now she could taste the crisp air, hear the wave coming onto the beach and lapping at her toes…

“I have to show them… It’s the only way.”

“Keo,” she said into the mic, “what happened to Frank?”

“I don’t know,” Keo said. “It was chaotic down there. Chances are he’s with Danny like Gaby says, so when we find one we’ll find the other, too.”

“Gaby’s right; Danny would never just leave him,” Carly said quietly behind her.

“We’re circling the HC Dome now,” Keo said through the radio.

“Collaborators?” Lara asked.

“They’re bugging out. Whatever’s left of them, anyway. They can see what’s happening just as we can. The ghouls coming out of the buildings, then frying in the sun. There are bones everywhere, Lara. Jesus Christ, there are piles of bones everywhere.”

“Find them,” Lara said. “Find them, Keo.”

“I will,” Keo said, and there wasn’t a single shred of doubt in his voice. “One way or another, we’re not leaving empty-handed, I can fucking guarantee you that.”

* * *

C
arrie
. Bonnie. And Blaine.

Maybe she should have been happy it wasn’t more. How close had Gaby, Keo, and Danny come to joining that list? How many others had lost their lives helping Will do what he needed to do in order to save them? To save all of them?

She thought of them. Her friends…

Blaine, whom she knew longer than the others, but Bonnie had become a good friend. Carrie too, in her own way. But she would miss Blaine most of all, and maybe that was why she had avoided going to the bridge when she made her way back to the
Trident
, because everything in there reminded her of him.