Authors: John Moore
The trouble was a combination of two of the oldest obstacles which beset the thorny path of lovers: the pride of parents and the lack of money. Susan's father and mother, who had made a little fortune out of the refined and genteel business of ladies' hairdressing and lived in a trim little house with its own garage in some trim little suburb where all the houses are like that, thought themselves a cut above the people who work with their hands and flatly refused to allow their daughter to marry a farmer's boy. George, who was not exactly a Lochinvar, knew only too well the inadequacy of his ninety shillings a week and the discomforts of a labourer's cottage; his gratuity, moreover, was quite insufficient to buy even a minimum of furniture. In these circumstances he could not bring himself to take the obvious course of marrying Susan against her parents' wishes. He had been told that he was not good enough for her, and he was foolish enough to believe it. So although the couple walked out religiously every Sunday afternoon, and went to the village hop every Saturday night where they danced every dance together except the Paul Jones; although they took their lovers' stroll down the twilight lanes in such close conjunction that they reminded one of Siamese twins or
competitors in a three-legged race; and although the final hug with which they said goodnight in the shadow of the hostel wall went on so long that they seemed to take root there and to be a natural feature of the landscape â nevertheless a cloud hung over their love, and we in the village, hearing the sad story
ad nauseam
from Margie, Lisbeth, Betsy, Wistaria and Ive, grew almost as impatient as the unhappy couple and became partners in their frustration.
We all loved Susan, and we all liked George, who in his modest and unassuming way had quietly won a Military Medal at Arnhem. His gallantry on that occasion made a curious contrast with his behaviour when he first met Susan. On sick-leave from Normandy after receiving a flesh-wound, he had taken a walk up Brensham Hill on a very hot Sunday and by accident had stumbled upon the Frolick Virgins, all six of them, sunbathing in a woodland clearing, where they must have looked, I imagine, rather like the Dryads themselves. George, who had little fear of the German SS soldiers, nevertheless turned tail and fled from this classical spectacle; and in his headlong flight he knocked off his claret-coloured beret against a branch and, being taken with a kind of nympholepsy, failed to notice the mishap until it was too late, when he dared not go back to retrieve it. Susan returned it to him at the village dance on the following Saturday and, his leave ending, a long correspondence ensued, of which the village knew by hearsay because everybody was informed of it by Margie, Lisbeth, Betsy, Wistaria and Ive.
Goodness knows how George kept it up; because he did me the honour, soon after the invasion, of writing one longish letter to me, in which the smudged indelible and the frequent
crossings-out bore witness to the pain he had in writing it. I imagine he must have sucked his pencil for a long time between the words. âThe country,' he began â he was writing from the
bocage
district before Caen â âis rather like ours. The people are very good farmers. They drink cider. If they didn't speak Frog they'd be just like us. It makes you think.'
Because I was there too, though at a different stage of the battle, I could just imagine George sitting and sucking his pencil beside that road between the orchards which was so optimistically signposted to Paris. Leafless poplars, although it was July, and greyish-yellow dust covering the poplar trunks and the thick hedges and the hedgerow flowers and George's face, hair and hands; a notice on a gate, âMINEN!' with a skull and crossbones underneath it, and a field behind the gate sown with poppies, corn and death; a cart-horse, to which the notice had meant nothing, lying shattered just inside the gate . . .
Not much like Brensham; but George saw the similarities and ignored the differences. Like most Englishmen abroad he expected to find everything strange and was astonished when he discovered things which reminded him of home. He was enormously impressed by his discovery of a little pink weed which turned out to be the same troublesome bindweed which crawled in the cornfields at home; he'd expected strange and unfamiliar and foreign flowers. And he felt at home among the apple trees, Pearmains and Pippins, with the fruit just forming. Like William Hart's orchard. That made you think, too.
But a painful incident had happened to him which had made him think more than anything else. He set it down at great length and without much evidence of schooling; so I will paraphrase it. He had called at a farm, it seemed, to ask for some water. It was a smallholding really, not much
bigger than Alfie Perk's at Brensham. The soil was clean, the headlands were narrow, not a square yard of earth was wasted; but the land, he thought, could have done with a good dose of phosphates.
He met the farmer close to the cottage. He was tending a big dappled cow whose hind leg had been badly shattered by a bomb splinter. She was a magnificent cow; George became almost lyrical in her praise. At home you'd have to pay sixty pounds for such a cow. He wanted to tell the farmer how much he admired her, and to ask how much milk she gave a day and what she was worth in Normandy. But of course he didn't even know the French for âcow'. He stood and grinned and looked a fool.
Then the farmer shook his hand and things became easier. They looked at the cow's leg together and the farmer said âBomb.' George said âEnglish?' and the farmer nodded and shrugged his shoulders as if to say âIt's not your fault.' But the leg was very bad, and it was awful to think that we had done that.
The farmer took him into the cottage. Inside it was just like home. The earthenware jug of cider, rough, raw, cool and sharp, was so familiar that it made him miserably homesick. He didn't feel at all strange in the company of the farmer, his wife and the three children, and although he didn't understand a word of French he often knew what they were saying. When the farmer's wife turned to her husband and asked a question he guessed at once that she was asking about the cow; and he knew that the farmer's reply meant âI shall have to kill her.' He wanted to say âHave you any other cows?' but of course he couldn't and in any case he knew the answer. They had no more. They were poor people, you could see that, and the cow must have been worth a lot of money, especially in wartime when prices were high.
So to make up for the British airman's bomb he took his assault ration out of his haversack and gave all the boiled sweets, which he'd been saving for the battle because he liked to suck sweets in a battle, to the farmer's three children. Then he gave his slab of chocolate to the farmer's wife and his cigarettes to the farmer. But he knew it was all nothing compared with the cow.
When he had to go the farmer walked with him as far as the gate. He said something which George didn't understand. Then he touched the butt of the rifle, and George knew at once. They went to the barn, where the cow was lowing. She was down on her haunches now. George unslung his rifle and handed it to the farmer. He shouldn't have done that really, a soldier should never part with his rifle, but it seemed important that the farmer should do the thing himself.
It reminded him of his father shooting an old dog he was very fond of.
The farmer gave the rifle back and shrugged his shoulders; they shook hands again and they understood each other perfectly, they didn't need any words.
That was three days ago, wrote George; but it still made him think. He wished he could write a proper letter to explain that Frenchmen weren't Froggies but were just like people at home. But he couldn't explain so he finished up in much the same strain as he had begun:
âThey are very good people,' declared George. âTheir cider is peart like ours. When we've got this lot finished we'll go down to the local and I'll tell you all about it. They have fine cows and they are just like us. It makes you think.'
When George came back from the war Susan invited him to spend a weekend with her parents. He put on his demob suit, which didn't fit at all, and his demob tie which was wonderfully striped like a Neapolitan ice, and he succeeded in looking exactly what he wasn't, the gooping village bumpkin dressed up for a trip to town. We never heard what happened during that weekend; but it was clear enough that everything had gone wrong. When it was over George wrapped the precious demob suit away in tissue paper and put on his old paratroop's jacket again and went to work for William Hart. He lived at home with his parents and was able to save about two pounds a week out of his pay; and it was estimated that at this rate he would have saved two hundred pounds in two years' time, with which in some mysterious way he would Better Himself and find favour in the eyes of Susan's parents. But in practice the sum didn't work out like that; for love makes nonsense of mathematics and George would have been a poor sort of lover if he hadn't been moved from time to time by the glory and splendour of his state to buy some absurd and prodigal present for Susan or to squander his week's savings recklessly on squiring all six of the Frolick Virgins to the Horse and Harrow and buying them gin. So it looked as if it might be ten years, rather than two, before George was able to afford to furnish a cottage let alone to Better Himself. Meanwhile the star-crossed pair continued to discover every imaginable delight in each other's company and to say goodnight to each other in an atmosphere of considerable drama outside the land girls' hostel every evening. Mr Chorlton, who liked to walk in the garden at twilight and wrap himself in his thoughts, observed sadly that it was extremely difficult to concentrate
while what appeared to be a combination of Troilus and Cressida, Pyramus and Thisbe, and Romeo and Juliet, breathed eternal farewells just outside the gate.
Anon Mrs Merrythought, with much banging of bolts and clanking of chains, would indicate that she was about to lock up and Susan would scuttle inside. But the lovers' parting was not for long; at seven o'clock next morning they would be reunited; for the land girls were hired out to various farmers in twos and threes and needless to say Susan generally contrived to be among those who worked for Mr Hart. And so together, like characters in some ancient pastoral, the lovers mowed and reaped, ploughed and planted, and even discovered a kind of bliss in sprout-picking when they did it side by side. They were accessories to the crime, if it was one, of growing linseed in Little Twittocks; for Susan had ploughed the field and George had sown the seed. As for old William, he was so crippled with rheumatism that he was only able to hobble as far as the gate and lean over it; but that was probably enough, for it was always said of him that he'd only got to look at something to make it grow.
It is high time that I told you something of the history of this wild and strange old man, whose boisterous mischief, or prankishness as our people aptly described it, was notable even in crack-brained Brensham.
This mischief, in his youth and early middle age, had populated the village with numerous bastards, whom he cheerfully and shamelessly acknowledged; in later life it had manifested itself in the form of uproarious drunkenness and elaborate practical jokes. Impish even when he was sober,
Mr Hart in drink had been liable to ring the church bells at midnight or call out the Fire Brigade to an imaginary fire; he had introduced a squealing pig into a choir practice and a donkey into the deliberations of the Parish Council; and he had defended himself against an angry policeman with the effective though double-edged weapon of a swarm of bees. But though his absurd pranks caused annoyance to their victims, everybody agreed that there was no real harm in him. âHe wouldn't hurt a fly,' people said. The constable, smothered in blue-bag and smarting from a dozen bee-stings, might perhaps have contested this; but they meant that his broad buffooning had its roots in a sort of innocence, his sins were original sins, without any later admixture of vice. Even his occasional drunkenness had a childlike quality which robbed it of offence. He drank to drown no sorrow nor yet, as our dreary little cocktail-sippers do, in order to get rid of the critical faculty which informs them how dreary they really are. He drank simply because he liked the stuff. The more he drank the more he liked it; and when at last it made him drunk his happiness exceeded all bounds. He had no desire to fight or to tell boring stories or to sit in a corner and cry; he only wanted to spread the tidings of his joy among his friends and neighbours and indeed the whole world. It seemed to him that the best way to do so was to make a great deal of noise; so on these evangelic occasions he shouted and sang and roared about the village boisterously like a wind, sometimes even knocking at doors and waking people up in order to communicate his enormous happiness to them. If you were coming out of the Adam and Eve, and William Hart in drink was emerging from the Horse and Harrow, you would hear him singing and hollering and bellowing his happiness although he was a quarter of a mile away.
When he was in this condition he was by no means amenable
to the reprobation of angry householders or to the policeman's suggestion that he should go home quietly; for he would then draw himself up to his full height, which was some six and a half feet, and lean back to balance the weight of his enormous belly, which had the circumference of some fifty-five inches, and wag at his persecutors an admonitory finger. âThee carsn't touch I! Thee carsn't touch I!' he would tell them severely, and then, if asked the reason for his supposed immunity, he would utter in ringing tones his proud boast, which had no basis in fact as far as any one could tell but which he believed throughout his life with all his heart and soul. âThee carsn't touch I-hands off, ladies and gents, hands off! â thee carsn't touch I because I be a descendant of the poet Shakespeare!' With a lordly gesture he would wave away the impudent person who had tried to interfere with him; and as he haughtily strode off he would resume his singing.