62
For the next few weeks, we shoot the movie in the studio. Mainly woodland scenes.
It’s amazing how real a fake forest can look. I’m always touching the leaves, not quite believing they’re made of plastic-coated cloth.
We do a few castle scenes too.
Baz and Leo have a sword-fight on a spiral staircase, which looks a little too real for my liking. Baz really batters Leo, and I think a part of him is still hurting over Sigourney.
It actually makes the scene turn out pretty well, because calm, easygoing Leo suddenly develops a temper and fights back.
The weeks pass, and then it’s time for me and Leo to do our bedroom scene.
I’m a little nervous, but I feel like Marc has helped me a lot.
Marc still isn’t happy about the scene of course. But as I’ve told him over and over again, it really is essential to the movie. Nadia wants to create a dark adult fantasy, and a little bare skin makes it feel much more grown-up. I won’t be naked as such. But I’ll look naked, and the camera will film my bare back.
I actually find it pretty funny that Marc, who has spent so much time teaching me to let go and act grown-up parts, is now jealous I’m doing it for real.
On the morning of the bedroom scene, Marc drives me to the studio.
‘I really think I should be there with you today,’ he says, for the hundredth time.
‘It doesn’t matter how many times you say that, Marc. You can’t.’
‘Look, I can talk to Nadia—’
‘It’s not just Nadia saying no.
I’m
saying no because, whether you want to admit it or not, there’s a little bit of jealousy going on. And that is just not healthy. Think of it this way. I’m helping you grow.’
‘Perhaps. But surely there are easier ways. Sophia, you’ve never done a scene like this. You don’t know what men are like. Not just Leo. The crew. What they think when they see a woman lying semi-naked. And how they talk about her in the bar afterwards.’
‘So you keep saying. But if I do this scene, millions of people are going to see me lying semi-naked. What are you going to do? Stop all of them talking in the bar?’
Marc turns the steering wheel. ‘You’re lucky Nadia’s directing. There’s no way I’d let you do this otherwise.’
‘And how would you stop me?’
‘I’d tie you up.’
‘You know, you can only just about get away with that sort of joke.’
‘Who says it’s a joke?’
‘Come on Marc. You’ve always been the one pushing me to express myself. To release my inhibitions.’
‘I know. Ironic, isn’t it?’
‘Very.’
‘I didn’t factor on pregnancy.’
‘At least I’m not feeling so sick any more. Or maybe I’m just getting used to it. But either way, I don’t feel half as bad as I did.’
‘For that much, I’m thankful.’ Marc pulls the car to a stop in the car park and stares out the driver’s window. ‘Fine. I won’t be there. But only because I know Nadia. She’s very protective of her actresses and she’ll look after you. But if there are any problems at all … if you ever feel uncomfortable—’
‘Marc.’ I take his hand. ‘Don’t be like this. I know this is hard. Hey.’
I pull his arm, and he turns to face me, his eyes clear, blue and hurt.
‘I love you,’ I say. ‘Okay? It’s just one day. Try not to think about anything. Go to the college. See the students.’
Marc drums his fingers on the steering wheel. ‘You’d better go. Or I really will kidnap you.’
I laugh. ‘I love you too.’
63
For the bedroom scene, Nadia takes Leo and me to a purpose-built set.
It’s a round, stone-walled room – supposedly the Tower of London dungeon – with rusty manacles on the walls and hay bales in the corner.
What the audience can’t see, is a thick layer of upholstery over the hay bales designed to make Leo and me more comfortable when we pretend to make love.
I can’t help noticing that a lot of the crew have turned up. In fact, the set is pretty crowded.
I pull my dressing gown tighter around myself, feeling self-conscious. Underneath the gown, I’m wearing the tiniest of g-strings and some stick-on things that cover my nipples and half my breasts. But nothing else.
Leo didn’t bother with a dressing gown. He’s strutting around in g-string underpants, as comfortable as if he were fully dressed.
I have to admit the bulge between his legs is pretty impressive. I’m tempted to take a picture for Jen and send it with a message saying ‘lucky girl’. But Leo has a big enough head as it is.
‘Why are so many of the crew here?’ I ask Nadia, noticing the special effects men at the edge of the set. ‘This just a straightforward scene isn’t it? No CGI or anything?’
Nadia puts an arm around my towelling-covered shoulder. ‘They’re here to see you naked, honey. Men, huh? They want a story to tell their friends. About the day they saw
Sophia Blackwell
with no clothes on.’
I pull the robe even tighter. ‘I haven’t got anything anyone else hasn’t got.’
‘You have sweetheart. Because you’re
famous
.’
‘Hardly.’
‘Famous and modest. That doesn’t happen so often.’ Nadia claps her hands at the crew. ‘Hey guys. If you’re not needed for this scene, clear out okay? This isn’t a peep show.’
There are mutters as half the room empties out.
‘Daryl!’ Nadia shouts. ‘You too.’
‘I thought you might need an extra—’
‘No. We don’t. Out you go.’
The only crew left now are women. Nadia chose female camera, sound and lighting people for this scene, which I’m thankful for.
‘Ready for the magic to happen?’ Leo asks me, grinning and standing with his legs astride, hands on hips.
Nadia laughs. ‘If you open your legs any wider Leo, everything is going to fall out.’
‘And then you fine ladies would see something you’d never forget.’
‘Okay honey.’ Nadia pats my arm. ‘Disrobe please and onto the hay bale. We’re gonna shoot the lovemaking first, and then you can do the dialogue.’
I take off my robe quickly, so I don’t have to think too much about it, and hand it to Nadia. Then I climb onto the bed and lie down, trying to arrange myself so the camera gets the right shot.
‘Perfect. Now Leo. Let’s have you on top.’
My breathing gets quicker as Leo climbs onto me, leaning on his elbows.
He gives me a grin and a wink. ‘Well Mrs Blackwell. Lovely weather we’re having.’
‘Leo – move back just a little honey,’ says Nadia. ‘That’s it. You got it. Okay. Action!’
Leo’s eyes go from crinkly and amused to intense and seductive. They fix on mine and he puts his palms flat either side of my head as he simulates moving between my legs.
I look up at him, my hands going to his face, trying to feel crazy in love. And also like I’m totally turned on and lost in what he’s doing. Basically, I just think of Marc.
My hands go to Leo’s strong arms and I feel his muscles under my fingers.
Leo’s lips come to meet mine and his kisses me. Hungrily. Passionately. Still moving back and forth between my legs.
I let my hands wander into Leo’s hair and make my body writhe beneath him. I wrap my legs around his back and make all the right noises, moaning and sighing and closing my eyes in ecstasy.
My body acts well. But my heart knows the truth.
After a few takes, Nadia shouts, ‘Okay. We got it. You two can untangle yourselves from each other now. That’s if you want to.’
I turn and see she’s grinning wickedly.
And then I blink, because I don’t believe what I’m seeing behind the camera woman.
Marc.
64
I sit up to get a better look, pushing Leo back from me.
‘Is this how you usually act after sex?’ says Leo, rolling onto his elbow. ‘Boy – I’m starting to feel sorry for Marc. And I never thought
that
would happen.’
‘Marc was right there,’ I say. ‘I told him not to come today. But he was there. On set.’
Nadia turns to where I’m looking. ‘Marc?’
‘Yes.’ I scramble to my feet. ‘Where did he go?’
‘I bet he left,’ says Leo. ‘Men hate getting told off by their women. Trust me. I should know.’
‘Marc’s not like that,’ I say.
‘All men are like that,’ says Leo. ‘No matter how brave they think they are. They’re all scared of an angry woman.’
I grab my robe from the costume rail and throw it on. ‘I can’t believe it. I
told
him not to come. What does he think he’s doing? Where did he go, anyway?’
Nadia shrugs. ‘I was too busy watching you guys. If he saw that scene with you and Leo, I’d guess he’s feeling pretty jealous right now. Any husband would. That scene was
red
hot. Are you sure there’s nothing between you two?’ She winks. ‘You don’t usually see chemistry like that unless there are real feelings.’
‘How dare you Nadia!’ says Leo. ‘I’m engaged to be married.’ He puts a friendly arm around my shoulder. ‘Seriously though. Sophia and I are just good friends. We tried the other route and nothing happening.’
‘We
didn’t
try the other route,’ I say. ‘
You
tried to kiss me. That was all.’
‘And you kissed me back if I remember,’ says Leo.
‘Oh, for like half a second.’
‘Okay, okay. Listen. I’m just kidding. You’re a great actress, that’s all I’m saying.’
‘You’re not so bad yourself,’ I say, remembering the intensity of Leo’s stare and the feeling of his hard body.
I think about Marc, watching the two of us. And I feel angry. I
told
him not to come on set. If he feels hurt, it’s really his fault. I wouldn’t watch him doing a sex scene with another woman. Not in a million years.
‘I need to find Marc,’ I say, pulling on a pair of towelling slippers. ‘He has some explaining to do.’
I head down the studio corridor, but I don’t see Marc.
When I get to the dressing rooms, I grab my phone and call his number.
It goes straight through to answer machine.
As I’m slipping on my summer dress and flip flops, I hear noises. Kind of wailing, clanking noises. Coming from the far-away dressing room.
What
is
that?
I tiptoe closer and see a dressing room door is a little open.
65
Through the crack in the door, I see Baz and Sigourney.
Sigourney is completely naked, but Baz is dressed in full battle medieval battle gear and holding a broadsword to her throat.
At first, I wonder what the hell is going on and think I might have to call for help.
But then Sigourney screams, ‘Harder. HARDER! Oh yes. YES! Fuck me. Harder. HARDER!’
Her knuckles are white on Baz’s metal shoulder plates as he moves between her legs.
‘DO ME. FUCKING DO ME!’ Sigourney screams.
Whoa.
I tiptoe back, then turn and creep out of the dressing room stifling a laugh.
It looks like those two have made up. I just hope it lasts.
‘Hey,’ I ask the receptionist. ‘Has Marc been past here? Marc Blackwell?’
‘Marc? Um … someone left a moment ago. A man I think.’
‘Where did he go?’
‘Towards the car park. I heard a car leave.’
I call Marc again.
This time he answers. ‘Sophia?’
I hear traffic in the background and guess he must be in his car.
‘Where are you?’ I fume. ‘What were you doing on set?’
Silence.
‘Marc?’
‘I wasn’t on set.’
‘Oh don’t give me that. The receptionist saw you leave.’
‘She was mistaken.’
‘That would make
both
of us mistaken.’
‘Sophia. You’ve been working hard. You’re tired. Stressed. Stressed people make mistakes.’
I put the phone to my chest and whirl around to the receptionist. ‘You saw Marc, right?’
‘Um …’ the receptionist frowns. ‘Someone
did
come by … I couldn’t tell you who.’
Now I’m
really
confused.
I put the phone back to my ear. ‘But I
saw
you.’
A pause.
‘I wasn’t on set today.’
‘You wouldn’t lie to me would you?’
Another pause.
‘Marc?’
‘No. I wouldn’t lie to you.’
This is mad.
Maybe I’m working too hard and I really am seeing things. But a niggling part of me says I should be worried. Because even though I trust Marc, the way he’s speaking right now is kind of strange. And I’m so
sure
I saw him … and this has happened twice …
Am I going crazy?