The Blackmail Baby (5 page)

‘You heartless beast!’ Chloe exclaimed, snatching Emma up into her arms.

‘No, I didn’t mean—’

‘Save your smooth-talking explanations,’ Chloe cried. She held Emma high against her shoulder and she bent her head over, pressing her cheek against the baby’s soft, wispy hair. ‘You say you want children and that I’ll be a good mother—but what about you? What kind of father will you be? All you’ve done is stare at Emma like she’s some kind of impostor!’

She glared up at him angrily, suddenly hating how cool and controlled he looked. For the last three months her life had been horribly out of her control—it wasn’t fair that he could stand there looking so calm.

‘You have to give me time,’ Lorenzo said. ‘I have nothing against the infant, but she has arrived rather abruptly in my life.’

‘She doesn’t have to be in
your
life—I keep telling you that!’ Chloe exclaimed, scraping her hair back from her face with a desperate gesture. ‘How can you be so heartless? Her mother died!’ she cried. ‘My best friend died, and all you care about is my wish to adopt her baby.’

Suddenly her eyes were swimming with tears and a second later she was weeping.

Lorenzo stepped towards her immediately. Then he wrapped his arms around her sobbing body and gently drew her close. She leant into him instinctively, clinging to him, and finding solace in the familiar strength of his embrace.

She hardly noticed when Mrs Guest lifted Emma carefully out of her arms. A corner of her mind knew that the baby was safe and she closed her eyes, shutting out everything but the solid comfort of Lorenzo’s body. Despite everything, he was her anchor—strong and warm, and exactly what she needed to combat the cold emptiness inside her.

A little while later, when the storm of tears had passed, Chloe opened her eyes and realised that she was cradled against Lorenzo’s chest. He was holding her snugly and she was still clinging to him, her hands tangled tightly in his shirt, deep inside his open jacket. They were sitting on a bench looking away from the house, across an impressive view over the meadows.

For a moment she lay completely still, amazed at how comfortable she felt in Lorenzo’s arms. But then a subtle change came over him—a slight shift in his muscles and a stiffening of his posture—and she knew that he was aware that she had roused.

She sat up slowly, suddenly feeling awkward. She had no idea how long she had wept or how long she had clung on to him. It was embarrassing to have let go of her emotions so completely in front of him.

‘Emma?’ she asked, her voice hoarse from crying.

‘Mrs Guest has her,’ Lorenzo said, realigning his jacket as she pulled away from him and sitting up straighter. ‘She’s fine. But how about you—do you need anything? Some water, maybe?’

Chloe nodded, suddenly realising she was really thirsty, and almost immediately Lorenzo passed her a small bottle of water. It was beaded with condensation and still cold from the fridge, and Chloe took it gratefully.

Presumably Mrs Guest had brought it out for her. It was wonderful to have someone look after her for
a change. And it was even more wonderful to sit with Lorenzo, knowing that he’d been there to comfort her.

‘I’m sorry,’ Chloe said. ‘Sorry for causing a scene like that.’

‘You have nothing to apologise for,’ Lorenzo said. ‘Your grief is entirely natural and I don’t want you to think you have to suppress it because you are here with me. I can’t imagine how hard the last months have been for you.’

Chloe felt her heart turn over at his sympathetic words. She knew he was sincere, and it touched her deeply.

She turned sideways on the bench and looked at him. His arms around her had felt so natural, and now his clear blue gaze appeared completely open and understanding.

It suddenly seemed vital that they were honest with each other. After the mistrust and discord between them, she longed to find a genuine connection with him. And, as she remembered his impassioned outburst the previous evening, she realised that her actions since their marriage had left him out in the cold.

On the day of their wedding she’d been brokenhearted, and at the time she’d felt that her desperation to get away from him was justifiable. It had been devastating to be told by her new husband that he did not believe in love. But she hadn’t waited for the situation to calm down. She had not given him a chance to explain.

‘You upset me badly on our wedding day, but I’m sorry for how I behaved,’ she found herself saying. ‘For running away without telling you I was going. And for not getting in touch about Emma.’

‘That’s behind us now,’ Lorenzo said.

His tone was clipped, and with a flash of irritation Chloe knew he was never going to admit that her behaviour had had any emotional impact on him. She’d been willing to take a step towards him—but he was not prepared to meet her in the middle.

‘But we still have the future to think about,’ Chloe said. ‘You said last night that you want us to remain married. But, given everything you have said to me—that you don’t love me, that you don’t even believe in love—I don’t know how I can do that.’

She paused, and looked at him utterly seriously. He appeared calm, but she could see a vein pulsing on his temple, and she knew that she was on dangerous ground. But she had to get things straightened out. Her future—and Emma’s future—depended on it.

‘I’m not even sure if you meant it,’ she said carefully. ‘Or if you were just saying it because you were angry with me again.’

Lorenzo stared at her, a spike of annoyance stabbing into his gut and a band of tension tightening across his shoulders.

Chloe was right. The previous evening he
had
reacted instinctively—striking back at her presumption that she could be the one to call an end to their marriage. But since then he had taken time to reevaluate the situation.

He had originally wanted a wife to provide him with an heir, but he had no faith in marriages based on sentiment and emotion. He wanted a stable, nonmaterialistic woman, who would stand by the commitment of marriage and motherhood, and not abandon her children as soon as the going got tough. Or, even more reprehensibly, sell out if she got a better offer.

Chloe had seemed to be a good candidate—until she ran out on him on their wedding day. But now things were different. She had Emma. And she had demonstrated a tenacity—a commitment to motherhood—that had made him reconsider.

‘I meant it,’ Lorenzo said, looking straight into her cloudy green eyes so that she would know he was sincere. ‘I expect us to remain married.’

‘I can’t do that,’ Chloe said. ‘I can’t stay in a loveless marriage, and I won’t bring Emma up in an environment like that.’

‘How will you care for her?’ Lorenzo asked. ‘Yesterday you pointed out that you have no job. Your savings are gone and your credit card is at its limit.’

‘I’ll manage,’ Chloe said hotly, flashing an annoyed look in his direction. She’d known the day
before that it was a mistake to let him know about her precarious financial situation—and here he was, less than twenty-four hours later, throwing it in her face.

‘How?’ Lorenzo pressed. ‘It doesn’t sound like an ideal starting point.’

‘It’s really none of your business,’ Chloe said, but suddenly she knew that he wouldn’t care about that. As far as he was concerned he had a right to know everything—and he would keep digging until he found out. ‘The rent on Liz’s cottage is paid till the end of next month, and I’ll get a job at a temping agency in a nearby town,’ she said. ‘Gladys, Liz’s neighbour, will watch Emma till I can afford proper childcare. It won’t be long until I’m up on my feet again.’

‘It hardly sounds ideal,’ Lorenzo said. ‘Wouldn’t you rather Emma grew up as part of a family, with you to look after her, and other children to play with?’

‘Other children?’ Chloe repeated, appalled by his assumption and the added barb of emotional blackmail. ‘I haven’t agreed to stay in this marriage, and already you have me producing children like a brood mare. Is that all I ever was to you? A convenient baby-making machine?’

‘A
baby-making machine
is not a mother,’ Lorenzo said harshly. ‘I chose you because I knew you would be an excellent mother. You care deeply
about family and about commitment. You have values that are important to me, which I consider paramount in the mother of my children. And the fact that you are willing to fight so hard for your friend’s baby proves that fact.’

‘How can you talk about values, when you don’t even believe in love?’ Chloe gasped. ‘Do you expect me to give up
my
values? Give up on my right to be loved?’

‘Are you going to give up on your chance for a family—on Emma’s future happiness and security—to chase an illusion that doesn’t exist?’ he demanded.

‘It does exist!’ Chloe exclaimed, springing to her feet and glaring down at him.

‘Really? I’ve never seen proof,’ he said, standing up so that once again he towered over her. ‘You said you loved me—then just minutes later you ran out on me. Somehow giving up on our marriage so easily doesn’t seem like an expression of love.’

She stared up at him, suddenly realising that she didn’t have the heart to continue arguing. She’d tried to offer him an olive branch, but all he could do was throw her love for him back in her face.

‘I want a genuine commitment from you,’ he said, already pushing her into a decision she wasn’t ready to make. ‘An absolute assurance to pledge yourself to this marriage and the family we will have together.’

Chloe blinked in surprise, almost unable to believe what she was hearing. But deep down she
knew Lorenzo was serious—that he was making her a genuine proposition. It fitted completely with everything he had ever said since their terrible argument at the
palazzo
when the truth about his feelings had come out.

There was so much to think about. In her heart she longed to remain Lorenzo’s wife—but at what cost? And at what cost to Emma and their future children? Both she and Lorenzo had grown up in broken homes and she knew first-hand how devastating that could be. But would a loveless marriage be better than that—even if the parents stayed together?

Chloe did not know the answer. And she would not give in to emotional blackmail. She couldn’t let Lorenzo strong-arm her into a decision that would affect the rest of her life.

‘I need your answer,’ he pressed, looming over her.

‘Well, you can’t have it,’ she replied, with a voice that sounded calmer than she felt. Then she turned and headed back to the house.

Lorenzo thrust his hands into his pockets and watched Chloe walking away, feeling the muscles across his shoulders pull even tighter.

He wanted Chloe to remain his wife. Just how much he wanted it shocked him.

‘T
AKE
as much time as you need,’ Mrs Guest said as she ushered Chloe out into the garden. ‘It’s a lovely afternoon and a bit of fresh air might make you feel more like yourself. Emma will be fine with me—she’s a pleasure to look after.’

‘Thank you.’ Chloe smiled reassuringly at the housekeeper. She knew that she’d worried the older lady by getting so upset earlier in the day. ‘I really am feeling better now. I just need a little bit of time alone, and I’d like to have a look around the garden. It truly is lovely.’

‘I’ll be here if you need anything,’ Mrs Guest said.

The sunshine was warm as Chloe walked away from the house across the main lawn. She’d taken another shower, but when she came to get dressed again she just hadn’t had the energy to be creative, so she’d simply slipped her old jeans back on with a fresh T-shirt.

Her main reason for accepting Mrs Guest’s kind offer to watch Emma was that she desperately needed time alone to think. Lorenzo had given her an ultimatum: she must decide whether to stay married to him and make a true commitment to their future together—or leave him, and be left all alone with Emma.

He had been right when he’d said that Chloe was not in an ideal situation to bring up a baby on her own, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t do it. At least she had the type of office skills that were always in demand—and as long as she could earn sufficient money to pay the rent by the end of the month, she would have somewhere to live.

Millions of women brought up children in far less favourable circumstances—with no proper training to get a job and with no one to help out in emergencies. Gladys had been a wonderful neighbour to Liz, and Chloe knew she could count on her if she had no choice.

But should she be so quick to abandon her marriage to Lorenzo?

The flash of joy that had lightened her soul when he appeared at the churchyard the previous day had told her that her feelings still ran deep. And being held in his arms earlier had felt so right.

Now that her emotions were no longer running wild, and she had taken a moment to calm down, she knew for certain that she still loved him. Love wasn’t
something she could just switch on or off. It was an unfathomable, undeniable truth that filled her body and soul.

Before Liz died, Chloe had made her a promise—that she wouldn’t hide herself away from life and lock up her heart because she had been hurt. But she didn’t know how that promise fitted into the future Lorenzo was offering.

Should she turn her back on him and give up on the one thing she had truly wanted—marriage and a family with the man she loved? Or should she accept his offer of a secure and privileged life for herself and their children—and give up on her heart’s deepest wish to experience a genuine loving relationship?

It was an impossible choice.

Lorenzo stood by the glass wall of his study and watched Chloe walking along the far edge of the pond, beside a drift of purple irises. Her head was bowed and, although her blonde hair had fallen forward to obscure her face, he knew she was deep in thought. After all, he had given her a lot to think about.

She looked tiny in her jeans and T-shirt, but Lorenzo was getting used to seeing her that way, which was nothing like the way she’d dressed when they were together. When she was his PA she had always dressed smartly for work, and, although her
style had been less formal once they were personally involved, she’d always looked well-groomed.

Now the difference in her appearance seemed to underline the difference in their relationship. She looked small and fragile as she sat down on a bench, and as she lifted her head to shake her hair back from her face Lorenzo could see that she was frowning.

Her gaze drifted across the pond, then settled on the huge windows of Lorenzo’s study. She was looking right at him, although he knew she couldn’t see him because the glass had been treated to protect the privacy of his study. He stared back at her, feeling an unexpected jolt of irritation.

Life had been so good, with all his plans for the future falling into place nicely. Why had she gone and complicated everything? He lifted his hand abruptly and, without fully registering his intention, he hit the control that opened the large sliding doors.

Chloe was lost in her thoughts as she gazed across the pond. The sudden movement as the glass door slid silently open brought her back to her surroundings with a start. Then the sight of Lorenzo stepping purposefully onto the deck made her catch her breath in surprise.

She stared at him in shock, slowly realising that she’d foolishly sat down in view of his study. She wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. She was nowhere near ready to decide what to do about his proposition.

He moved swiftly along the deck, then without breaking his stride he turned onto the gravel path that tracked the edge of the pond. He was bearing down on her so quickly that she felt her heart start to race.

She sprang up, ready to face him, although she was filled with the overwhelming urge to bolt. How had things got so difficult between them that the sight of him approaching made her want to run and hide?

She squared her shoulders and stood as tall as she could. She was
not
afraid of Lorenzo. And she would not shy away from the situation he had put her in.

‘If you’ve come to pressure me for an answer, you’re wasting your time,’ she said. Her voice was clear and steady, and did not reveal how uncertain she was feeling. ‘I have not reached a decision yet.’

Lorenzo came to a halt a few feet away from her—close enough for her to be reminded once again of his sheer size compared to her. But not so close that she had to crane her neck back to meet his eyes. He had discarded his jacket but he was still wearing the same white shirt as that morning.

Her eyes settled on the clusters of creases where she had balled her hands in the fabric of his shirt while she wept, and a disconcertingly vivid memory of lying with her face against his chest flashed through her mind.

‘You are struggling to decide what is best for
your future,’ Lorenzo said, ‘and I want you to understand why I believe this is the best arrangement—for everyone.’

‘You already told me your reasons,’ she said quietly. ‘Now it’s up to me to think this through. It’s an important decision I need to work out for myself—decide for myself.’

‘I understand that,’ Lorenzo said, ‘but committing to this marriage, and to raising a family with me, is a huge undertaking. I want you to make this choice with your head, not with your heart.’

Chloe frowned, trying to make sense of what Lorenzo was saying.

‘But marriage is something you feel in your heart,’ she said, unsettled by Lorenzo’s sudden change of tack. Why was he trying to
persuade
her into this, rather than continue trying to tell her what was the right thing to do? ‘When you proposed to me in Paris, I was so happy. And I truly believed you felt the same way I did.’

‘I
was
happy,’ Lorenzo replied. ‘I thought that I had found the perfect woman to share my life with—the perfect, uncomplicated partnership based on friendship and compatibility. Not on an over-hyped emotional ideal that would inevitably disintegrate over time.’

‘Not all marriages fail,’ Chloe said, suddenly feeling defensive and sad at the same time. ‘You shouldn’t be so pessimistic—it’s depressing.’

‘Not pessimistic—
realistic,
’ Lorenzo said. ‘In my experience most marriages do fall apart, and it usually gets pretty ugly. Then the children are the ones who suffer the most.’

Lorenzo looked down at her, reading the emotion written in her expression. She was normally such a positive-thinking, forward-looking person—which was one of the attributes that had drawn him to her in the first place. It was disturbing to see her look unhappy.

‘It doesn’t have to be that way,’ she said. ‘Happy marriages and functional families do exist.’

‘Neither of us experienced it as a child,’ Lorenzo said, ‘but that is why this arrangement can work for us. I know you want Emma, and your own children when we have them, to grow up in a stable environment.’

‘I know that
I
would never abandon my children,’ Chloe said. She looked up at him, the silvery green surface of the pond reflected in her eyes, ‘but how do I know I can trust you?’

Lorenzo met her gaze, already knowing how intensely she was committed to motherhood. He knew how far she would go for Emma. And he knew she’d fight equally hard for her own children.

Lorenzo’s mother had not bothered to fight for him. In fact she’d used him as a bargaining chip in a massive divorce settlement. What kind of mother would do something like that?

Suddenly he found his thoughts hurtling back to his childhood—to a time that he’d thought that he had blotted out of his memory. And all at once he was remembering the hurt, disappointment and confusion as acutely as the day his mother walked out.

He shook his head sharply, and focused on Chloe again. Her face was pale and worried, and he knew what she was thinking.

‘I get it,’ he said, his eyes boring down into hers. ‘You’re scared I’m going to leave you. It’s happened to you before—first your father, then your mother and sister. Even…’ He hesitated, reluctant to upset her more, but he had to make his point. ‘Even your best friend left you.’

Chloe swallowed, the lump in her throat making it painful, and blinked back tears. How did he know her so well—yet so little at the same time?

‘I’m not going to leave you,’ Lorenzo said. ‘That’s the beauty of this arrangement.’

‘But…what about when someone else catches your eye?’ Chloe asked. A dark shadow moved across Lorenzo’s face and she knew she had offended him with her comment, but she had to carry on—her future was at stake. ‘You don’t love me—what happens when you meet someone you do love?’

‘Be careful what you say,’ Lorenzo said through gritted teeth. ‘Don’t forget what happened. You are the one who left—the one who abandoned this relationship.’

‘It wasn’t like that,’ she protested.

‘Even though you
thought
you loved me,’ Lorenzo said, ‘even then—with your own fear of abandonment so strong—
you
left. Not me.’

‘That was different,’ Chloe said. ‘I’d just found out you didn’t love me.’

‘Do you still love me?’ Lorenzo asked.

‘I…No…’ Chloe faltered, dropping her gaze and staring at the wide expanse of his chest. She couldn’t meet his eye, or surely he would know the truth. She did still love him, but she couldn’t expose her heart to him any more. It was just too painful.

‘My point exactly,’ Lorenzo said, his voice dripping with irony. ‘You
thought
you loved me—but you were fooling yourself, living in a silly romantic dream world. It wasn’t real, which is why you were able to walk out on me without a second glance.’

His fingers slipped beneath her chin and he lifted her face to look into her eyes. Chloe met his blue gaze and a frisson ran through her. The emotion she saw in the depths of his eyes was intense.

He said he didn’t believe in love, but she could feel how deeply he was committed to the future he was proposing. He wanted a stable, contented family as much as she did.

‘We were good together,’ he said, letting his hand slip back so that he was cradling her head. ‘This could be incredible.
We
could be incredible together.’

‘I don’t know…’ Chloe started to speak, but the feel of his hand was distracting.

All she knew was she wanted to be with him. She wanted things back the way they had once been, when he made her feel special and safe at the same time.

‘Make this decision with your head, not your heart,’ he repeated. ‘Tell me that you want to stay married to me. That you want to raise a family with me. That you want to be my wife in every way.’

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Yes, I do.’

But she was speaking from her heart. It was impossible to do anything else. Her heart was calling out so loudly to him that she could not have heard anything her head was saying even if she’d tried.

‘You’ve made the right choice,’ Lorenzo said, pulling her towards him.

Chloe closed her eyes as he enfolded her in his arms. It felt so good, as if she truly belonged there.

Then his hands started to move across her body, and she knew that he intended to make love to her. A quiver of apprehension mixed with anticipation tingled through her. She had just agreed to this—to be his wife in every way.

But she was suddenly nervous, as if this exact moment was the moment of no return in her life.

From this point on her future was mapped out, and before she knew it she would be a mother. She would be bound in marriage to a man who didn’t love her—a man who did not even believe in love.

‘What is it?’ he asked, pulling back and holding her where he could meet her eyes. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘It’s too soon,’ she said, tightening her fists to emphasise her words and realising to her shock that once again they were tangled in his shirt, gripping the fabric tightly. ‘I’m not ready.’

‘Not ready?’ Lorenzo repeated. He slid his hands across her back in a way that sent shivers through her whole body. ‘You know that won’t be a problem for long.’

‘No—I need more time to get used to this,’ she said, unfurling her hands from his shirt and taking a step backwards. But his long arms were still around her, preventing her from moving very far away. ‘Let me go. Let me go so I can think.’

Almost to her surprise, Lorenzo dropped his arms to his sides and stepped away, his feet crunching on the gravel path.

He stood completely still, looking down at her from beneath heavy lids. She knew how much he wanted her, and that thought sent a rush of desire storming through her.

Making love had always brought them closer, made the connection between them stronger. Surely it would do the same thing now. She had to give their new understanding a chance, but she wasn’t ready to completely sign away her future.

‘I’m not ready for more children,’ she said. ‘Everything has been so unsettled…there’s Emma
to consider…it’s just too soon to rush into something so big.’