Authors: Francine Rivers

The Atonement Child (43 page)

Joe thought she had never looked more beautiful. He cleared his throat. “What are you gonna call her?”

“Deborah,” she said, “Deborah Anne Carey.” Deborah for Israel’s judge who led her people into battle, Anne for the prophetess who knew the Word of the Lord.

“Welcome to the world, Deborah Anne Carey,” Joe said, stroking the soft cheek with the back of his knuckles. He had never felt anything so soft or beheld anything so untainted and perfect. He brushed her palm and felt the tiny fingers clasp his finger. He swallowed hard, struck by the depth of God’s mercy.

“We’ll be moving to Oregon in a few weeks.”

Joe glanced up. “What’d you say?” He felt as though Dynah had kicked the wind out of him.

Just like that, Lord? Here one day and gone tomorrow?

“Deborah and I. We’re moving to Oregon,” she said again. Joe didn’t look pleased. She explained about her grandmother’s condition and offer as well as the welcome mat laid out by Granny that morning.

“That’s great,” Joe said flatly.
Oregon, huh? Okay, Lord. If that’s the way You want it. Oregon, it is. I’ve always wanted to see the Northwest.
“I’ve heard it’s a great place to live.”

“Maybe you’ll come visit sometime,” Dynah said. She felt like one of the Israelites after forty years in the desert. She was stepping into the Jordan. Would God hold back the water and let her get to the Promised Land?

Joe looked at her, dark eyes clear and direct. “Just give me the address.”

She blinked. And if that wasn’t confirmation enough . . .

THIS IS THE MAN I HAVE CHOSEN FOR YOU, BELOVED.

As she stared into Joe’s eyes, her heart soared.
Oh, Lord, Lord. I am so undeserving.

As Joe returned his attention to her baby, Dynah watched him, her heart softening and warming. Every doubt and hesitation melted away, and she felt the wonder of God’s love for her.
Oh, Jesus, I love You. I love You so much.

“Oh, Joe . . . ,” she said softly, seeing him fully for the first time. He had always been there, right beside her, exactly where the Lord had placed him.

Joe raised his head and looked at her, bemused by what he saw in her eyes. He had waited so long he didn’t recognize it for what it was. “Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t mean to monopolize her.” He brought the baby around the bed and laid her gently on Dynah’s thighs.

“Joe . . .” Cupping his cheek, she turned his face toward her. “My sweet, sweet Joe . . .” Leaning forward, she kissed him full on the mouth.

Joe caught his breath and drew back slightly, searching her eyes. When she smiled, heaven opened. “Oh,” he said, that hushed word the beginning of a psalm. Raking his fingers lightly into her hair, he let the wonder of it flood him. “It’s about time.”

She laughed softly. “Will you marry me?”

His mouth curved wryly, eyes shining. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Leaning down again, Joe kissed her the way he had dreamed of doing since the moment he saw her walk into the gymnasium at NLC.

Epilogue

A young girl sat in the full waiting room of the clinic, her heart hammering, her stomach so tense she felt sick. One girl sat crying silently while an older, narrow-eyed, tight-lipped woman sat beside her. A woman in her late thirties sat with her slender legs crossed reading
Fortune
. Another girl, in her early teens, in a pair of baggy black Levi’s and a scoop-necked white T-shirt sat forward, knees and toes together, beside her friend in a short black skirt and tight red sweater.

No one spoke. No one met the gaze of another. They stared down at their hands or a magazine or off into space.

The young girl closed her eyes tightly, praying for strength.

I AM HERE, BELOVED. I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD, WHO LOVES YOU.

The door opened, and a woman in white stood looking at her clipboard. “Number nine.”

The waiting room emptied of one.

The young girl hunched in her chair.
Oh, God, oh, God, I’m so scared. I want to go home.

COME OUT FROM THEM, BELOVED, AND BE SEPARATE, AND I WILL LEAD YOU IN THE WAY EVERLASTING.

Shaking, she got up.

Her boyfriend clamped his hand around her wrist. “Where’re you going?” he said in a hushed, taut voice.

She leaned down and whispered. “I don’t want to do this.”

He pulled her down beside him again. “Do you think I do?”

“Then let’s leave.”

“And do what?” He leaned closer, speaking so only she could hear. “Look, this isn’t easy for me, either. Don’t make it any harder. We’ve been over this a hundred times. There’s nothing else we can do.”

She tried not to cry. Crying only upset him more. She didn’t want him to get mad at her. “I don’t think I can go through it.”

“You said your parents would disown you.”

THOUGH YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER FORSAKE YOU, I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU.

“And what about school?”

“There must be another way.”

“What other way? You tell me what other way.”

She looked up at him pleadingly. “We could get married.”

“Yeah, right,” he said sotto voce. “And live on what? Love?”

“I’d work. . . .”

“Give me a break. At that fast-food place? Making minimum wage? And what about after the baby comes? Kiss my future good-bye. I want to go to college. Remember?”

Her eyes burned with tears at his tone. He had been so sweet and tender before they had sex. After the first time, that was all he ever wanted. And now that she was pregnant, he was angry with her most of the time. It wasn’t all her fault she was in this condition. She’d only forgotten to take her pill that one day, and he’d never once taken precautions.

“I’m scared,” she said in a soft, shaky voice.

TRUST ME. I AM YOUR ROCK AND YOUR FORTRESS. I AM YOUR DELIVERER, BELOVED. TAKE REFUGE IN ME, FOR I AM YOUR SHIELD AND THE HORN OF YOUR SALVATION. CALL TO ME AND I WILL RESCUE YOU FROM YOUR ENEMIES. THE CORDS OF DEATH WILL NOT ENTANGLE YOU. . . .

“I’m scared, too,” he said, surprising her.

“I want to leave.”

He took her hand and held it tightly. She could feel the perspiration on his palms. “I’ve heard it’s not so bad,” he said bleakly.

SEEK ME, BELOVED, AND I WILL ANSWER YOU. I WILL DELIVER YOU. I WILL BE YOUR HIDING PLACE. I WILL PROTECT YOU AND SURROUND YOU WITH SONGS OF DELIVERANCE.

“It’s only supposed to take a few minutes. By tomorrow, it’ll all be behind us.”

She looked at her boyfriend and saw how uncomfortable he was. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He just wanted to get it over and get out of here.

Oh, God, I don’t want to lose him.

I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD AND THERE IS NO OTHER.

Her heart jumped as the door opened again.

TURN TO ME IN YOUR HOUR OF NEED AND I WILL . . .

Her number was called.

. . . LOVE YOU WITH A LOVE THAT WILL LAST FOREVER.

She hesitated.

“Go,” her boyfriend said, looking at her imploringly.

DO NOT HIDE YOUR FACE FROM ME, BELOVED. I LOVE YOU WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE. I WILL PROVIDE FOR YOU. HEED MY VOICE.

Her number was called again. She wanted to jump up and run screaming from the room.

CALL OUT TO ME AND I WILL BRING YOU UP OUT OF THIS PIT OF DESPAIR AND SET YOUR FEET UPON THE ROCK. I WILL PROTECT YOU. I WILL PROVIDE FOR YOU. OH, MY BELOVED CHILD, YOU ARE SO VERY PRECIOUS TO ME, SO PRECIOUS I DIED FOR YOU AND ROSE AGAIN THAT YOU MIGHT LIVE IN ME. TRUST ME. OH, MY BELOVED, TRUST ME.

Her boyfriend took her hand and stood. Heart hammering, she stood with him.

He didn’t take her out of the clinic. He handed her over to the woman in the doorway with the clipboard in her hand. The woman smiled and said everything would be all right. Letting go of her, the boy stepped back and turned away. As the girl went forward, she looked back and knew she was alone. When the door closed, death surrounded her.

And into the silence and separation that followed could be heard the weeping of God’s only begotten Son, the Atonement Child.

Beloved,

If this story has opened old wounds, please know that Jesus is waiting with open arms to welcome and comfort you as His own. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that the Lord won’t forgive—and forget. He promises that as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed your transgressions from you. He died for you and rose again so that you can have new life in Him. All you have to do is accept Him. His love is not earned but given as a free gift. That’s my prayer for you: that you will know and accept Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord and learn who you are in Him.

In Christ, you are His child. You are raised up with Him. You are forgiven. In Christ, you are a new creation, the very temple of the Holy Spirit. You are delivered from the power of darkness. You are redeemed, blessed, holy, and sanctified. Even now, God is holding your child close. And in Christ, you will be reunited in love.

You are victorious and set free from sin and death. You are more than a conqueror. You are strong in the Lord, able to withstand any storm through Him.

You are sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise. You are accepted. You are complete in Him. You are crucified with Him, free from condemnation, and reconciled to God Almighty—and reunited with your children. Through Jesus, you are qualified to share in His inheritance. You are a fellow citizen with the saints and the household of God. You are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, and Jesus Christ is your Cornerstone, your High Priest, your Husband.

You are born of God, and the evil one cannot touch you.

You are overtaken with blessings.

You are called by God.

You are chosen!

You are an ambassador for Christ, a messenger of the Good News. You are healed by the stripes of Jesus, and you are being transformed into His likeness.

You are loved.

You are one in Christ.

You have everlasting life.

You can do all things in Christ Jesus.

His grace and mercy are beyond anything I can explain in words. The Bible is filled with His love for you—and His promises. Please allow yourself to experience this love and forgiveness, to live in it, to walk with Him. Let go of yourself, and cry out to the Lord, and He will hear and answer. He knows all about you. He knows everything you’ve done, where you’ve been, what you’ve said, how you’ve felt, and He loves you with a love everlasting.

The Holy One, Jesus Christ, the most mighty God, holds out His hand to you right now. All you have to do is open the door of your heart and invite Him in.

May it be so.

Francine Rivers

Support Groups

The following national organizations have information and referrals for postabortion counseling and support groups in your area:

American Rights Coalition

www.abortionproblems.net

Please call 1-800-634-2224 for referrals for medical, legal, and emotional assistance.

E-mail address:
[email protected]
.

Care Net

www.care-net.org

Please call 1-800-395-HELP for a referral to the closest Care Net Crisis Pregnancy Center in your area.

Heartbeat International