The Apocalypse Script (18 page)

“
That’s progress.”

“
Why newspapers, though? The same
information is available on the internet.”

“
Newspapers - the paper variety -
can’t be hacked,” she said as she approached the table. She picked
up a piece of toast from his plate and nibbled on it. “You should
never trust the internet, Ben. It is there not to inform you but to
control you.”

“
I’ll keep that in mind.” Pointing
her toward the chair opposite him, he said, “So, what’s on the
agenda today? I’d like to start my inspection of the
tablets.”

“
The marriage
contract.”

“
The not-legally-binding marriage
contract, you mean.”

She sat down. “I mean the marriage
contract not legally binding in the Ardoon world.”

“
Good enough,” said Ben, “since
that’s where I happen to live in.”

“
In an hour, if that’s
okay?”

“
The sooner the
better.”

“
After that, I thought you, Fiela
and I could go to a small park a few miles up the road and have
picnic lunch. Then I’ll bring you back and you can examine the
tablets.”

At that moment Fiela walked into
the room. She wore a pair of denim shorts, a tank top and no shoes.
Her hair was red and tied into a ponytail.

“
Good morning, Mutu,” she said,
striding over to Ben and hugging him. “Did you sleep
well?”

“
Fiela, you can drop the
pretense,” said Lilian, “I know you were here last
night.”

“
Oh.”

“
Nothing happened,” Ben offered
lamely. “I mean, we just slept together.”

“
I’m sure.”

“
It’s true,” said Fiela, grabbing
the other piece of toast from his plate. Ben sighed and threw his
napkin on the table. The girl continued, “But he did have a raging
erection all night. It was like sleeping with a baseball bat taped
to my ass.”

“
Fiela!” said the other woman
sternly, and Ben felt the girl recoil against his shoulder. “You
forget yourself. You are my sister yet you have attempted to
deceive me, you have belittled my husband, and you could have
jeopardized the entire marriage. You are behaving like a
child.”

The Peth moved behind the man.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I am just, you know, excited.
Happy.”

Lilian said, “Fiela, I do not wish
you otherwise. But you must remember your station. Would you like
to see my marriage dissolved because of your
indiscretions?”

“
No,” said the girl with bowed
head.

“
I would think not.” Lilian
glanced at Ben’s expression, and then Fiela’s, and her demeanor
softened. In a less formal tone, she said, “Now, go and tell the
fetches to prepare a picnic lunch for us. We’re going to the
park.”

“
A picnic?” the Peth said,
sounding a little less chastised. “I should like that.”

“
Then get to it.”

“
Yes, Sister.” Fiela kissed Ben
and moved hurriedly out of the room.

“
A bit hard on
her, weren’t you?” asked Ben. “She
is
an adult.”

“
She must learn how to behave. She
has been alone in the wild for many years, Mutu. She has never been
to any court. I don’t want to be harsh but she is Peth and she
responds best to a firm hand.”

Ben thought that rather draconian
but was not interested in getting into family politics, so he
shrugged and with some effort cut off a sliver of egg. When he
lifted his fork he saw that Lilian had covered her mouth with one
hand. Though she was trying to remain stoic, her eyes were
dancing.

“
What?” he asked.

Unable to contain it, the woman
burst out in laughter. When she finally caught her breath, she
managed, “A baseball bat, Ben?
Really? Do
tell!
”

He smiled bashfully. “If you think
that’s
belittling
, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.”

The room in which they met to
review Ben’s membership contract was modest. There were no windows
and every wall was concealed behind tall oak and mahogany
bookshelves, the volumes on the shelves clad in leather bindings
with spines bearing gold letters. Scattered about the room on
various tables were maps, compasses, pens, and abstruse wooden
platters that Ben thought resembled Chinese Checker boards. Papers
cluttered the floor.

A desk with a black granite top
was just inside the doorway. Ridley sat behind it in a chair the
size and style of a small throne, while Ben, Lilian, and Fiela sat
on the opposite side. There was a thick blue candle on the edge of
the workspace, which Ridley lit with a disposable
lighter.

He said, “The contract is ready
for your review.” He handed a stack of papers to each of his
guests, saying to Ben, “I’ve prepared an English version for you,
Ben.”

“
Thanks,” the researcher said, and
began to read. It didn’t take him long to realize that, English or
not, the document was practically indecipherable.

The second paragraph on the fourth
page, for example, read,
“If the mutu
knowingly permits the privations of the asatu’s offspring, and
those offspring were permitted by decree (of the pertinent House’s
committees) in time of war, but are disavowed by the asatu’s
parents as products of illicit and unauthorized acts of procreation
having occurred outside the parameters of the war, the eldest of
the offspring, if adult, shall represent the asatu unless it is
shown that the offspring has been unduly influenced by a serretu to
misrepresent the state of privation. Should misrepresentation of
said nature be confirmed…”

He could feel his eyelids drooping
by the start of the fifth page, at which point he realized he was
reading without actually reading. It was like studying a European
social charter upside down. It was just words and more words and
really, what did any of it matter? He was entering into this
faux-marriage-of-convenience with nothing to lose. He had no
fetches or rights or authorities that could be taken from him and
the Nisirtu did not use or want money. The only reason the contract
existed was to facilitate his access to the tablets.

Right?

“
Looks good,” he said, having
pretended to at least scan each page. He placed it on the
desk.

Ridley nodded and Ben busied
himself reading the titles on the spines of the book on the shelf
behind the scribe. Jorge Borges, Albert Camus, John Calvin, Edward
FitzGerald, and HP Lovecraft appeared to the man’s favorite
authors, if the sampling was any indication. Rather an eclectic
selection, the linguist thought.

A moment later Lilian furrowed her
brow and said something in Agati to Ridley that made Fiela look up.
Ridley answered at length, pointing to his niece and counting
something off on his fingers. Lilian seemed surprised and began to
object but the scribe cut her off by resuming his explanation, this
time more slowly and with more emphasis. Fiela, looking very
pleased, asked a question of her uncle. He nodded and looked back
at Lilian.

“
Would someone tell me what’s
going on, please?” Ben asked.

Lilian took in a breath and said,
“Ridley requires that Fiela be made serretu. My
surrogate.”

“
Surrogate? What does that
mean?”

Ridley said, “It means that if
Lilian is unavailable, Fiela will take her place as your primary
sponsor. It simply provides for continuity.”

Ben shrugged. “That doesn’t sound
like a big deal. Am I missing something?”

Lilian lowered her eyes and said,
“I’m sure it is inconsequential. I do not plan on becoming
unavailable.
”
She defiantly placed her copy of the contract
back on the scribe’s desk. “The contract is acceptable.”

A minute later Fiela returned her copy, nodding.

“
Excellent,” said the scribe.
“Now, if you would each sign all three copies, we can move on to
other things.” He held out a fountain pen and each did as he
requested. After the signatures were in place he said to Ben, “As
proof of the dowry, I will drop some wax next to your name and
you’ll need to press the signet of your ring into the wax to make
an imprint.”

“
Okay,” said the other man, and
watched as the scribe tilted the blue candle to drop a ball of wax
next to each of his signatures. Before the wax could cool, Ben
leaned over and pressed the signet into each.

“
Well done,” said Ridley, as if
the other man were a kindergartner who had just written his name
correctly for the first time. Putting the papers to one side the
scribe leaned back and exhaled, rubbing his palms against the arms
of his chair as if to dissipate built-up excitement.

“
It is official,” he announced.
“I’ll have these distributed to the other Houses immediately. Now,
with regards to the reception…”

“
Reception?” asked Ben.

“
Yes. The people love a good show
and I think you two,” he gazed at Fiela and Lilian, “merit more
than a piece of paper, yes?”

“
Thank you, uncle,” said
Fiela.

“
The
people,
”
said Ben. “You mean other members
of the Nisirtu, I assume.”

“
A few friends, yes. It will be
held the day after tomorrow, in the Great Hall. I took the liberty
of sending out the invitations this morning. It will give you the
opportunity, as a new member, to meet them, and vice versa. It will
be to everyone’s benefit.” Before Ben could object, the old man
clasped his hands in front him and said, “You know, you are, in a
sense, my nephew now.”

“
How’s that?”

“
Fiela, my niece, is your
surrogate wife.”

It took a moment for the words to
register. Ben replied carefully, “I didn’t realize that Fiela would
assume Lilian’s title as well as her function. But…well, that is
only in Lilian’s absence, right?”

“
Yes, but a
serretu is granted the same rights as any wife. She may now call
you
Mutu
,
for example.
Husband.”

Seeing the girl peering at him,
the researcher strained to lift the corners of his mouth. It was a
Herculean effort.

“
As serretu she
has now also become Lilian’s handmaiden - which is to
say,
personal assistant.
Still, Fiela’s primary function is unchanged. She
is your protector, and Lilian’s.”

“
I won’t hurt you again, I
promise,” said the Peth earnestly, apparently eager to step off on
the right foot.

Ben tilted his head back and said
a quick prayer.

The scribe cleared his throat.
“Now, while the law does not require a dowry for a serretu, I stand
in place of her father, and would like to ensure she is well cared
for. I have therefore included in the contract a small gift for
you.”

Ben looked up. “I don’t think
that’s appropriate-”

“
What did you give him, uncle?”
interrupted Fiela excitedly, as if she were a child on Christmas
morning.

“
Serretu!” warned
Lilian.

“
Oh, he’s my uncle!” moaned the
Peth.

“
Just so,” said the old man. “Ben,
I am granting you the right to occupy and use Steepleguard for as
long as you wish, and the authority to bequeath those rights. In
fact, all my authorities are yours.”

“
What?” exclaimed Ben,
dumbfounded.

Lilian was suddenly more upbeat.
“When shall this be effective?”

“
This very moment,” answered the
scribe. “In fact, I included an addendum to your marriage contract
that has made it official. The bioplates and other security
measures have already been programmed to accept Ben’s signature
DNA, fingerprints, and so forth. Yours too,” he said, looking at
the women, “with the exception of the tablet repository in the cave
and a few other rooms that will, for now, remain programmed for
only Ben and me.”

“
You are giving me this hotel?”
asked Ben.

“
No, I am giving you authority
over it. Nisirtu do not own property. But you need not worry about
the Ardoon ‘owner’ showing up to claim it. That is quite
impossible.”

At a loss, the other man said,
“Why are you doing this? I mean, I don’t want to seem ungrateful.
This is beyond generous. Way,
way
beyond. I really don’t think I can
accept-”

“
It is done and
cannot be undone. Anyway, Steepleguard is too big for me. Always
has been. I am ancient and will soon pass to the underworld. I can
feel
Asag
tugging at my ankles each morning. It is time for me to
legally dispose of my rights. Unfortunately, until last night,
neither Fiela nor Lilian could inherit. Lilian is the illegitimate
daughter of a king who warred against the other Houses and Fiela’s
parents supported him. Yet these two were the only people I would
consider transferring my rights to. With you I can now provide for
them both in one fell swoop.”