The Amish Seamstress (48 page)

My sisters chattered away as Tabitha grabbed plates and Linda counted out the silverware.
Mamm
opened two jars of green beans and dumped them in a big pan.

A few minutes later
Daed
walked in the back door. He saw me right away. He crossed the kitchen in one big step and swept me up in a hug.

“So how is Frannie?”

I teared up as I told him the rattle in her lungs was back. “She was doing so well,” I said. “Ben Yoder thinks she has a week or so left.”

“Maybe she was just waiting for everyone to get home.”

“But her family still needs her. Especially Giselle. For just a little while longer.”

“
Ach
, Izzy. If people held on as long as they were needed, no one would ever go.”

After dinner I retreated to my sewing room and started on the mending while Tabitha and Linda helped
Mamm
with the dishes and then cookies. I tried to pray for Frannie and her family, but the boys playing a game of checkers in the living room, rather loudly, distracted me.
It's good to be home
, I told myself.

But I wasn't all that convincing.

The next day was a non-preaching Sunday, and Zed showed up to invite me to go on another scouting expedition with him. I happily agreed, so glad it was the Sabbath.

We visited several places—a park with a woodsy area, the banks of a creek that had been untouched by development, and the sloping hill of a pasture with an oak tree at the bottom. He felt all of the locations held promise for shooting his film. Afterward, he invited me to lunch, so we went to a nearby deli in Mountville.

As we waited for our food, I finally worked up the courage to ask the question I'd wanted to for a while, ever since I'd received his bombshell of a letter.

“Are you sure you want Shelly to play Abigail in the movie?”

Zed rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah. It's a shame she's such a good actress. She's a real pain as a person.”

Shocked, my head jerked back. A pain as a person? What did he mean?

“Didn't you pick up on that when you were there? She'll do anything to get in front of the camera. Anything.”

We were interrupted when the waitress showed up with Zed's sandwich and my soup and salad special. After a silent prayer, he picked up his pastrami on rye and continued.

“She thought I was going to cast
you
in the part of Abigail. She assumed that was why I took you to the film on campus, so you could get an idea of how it all worked.”

I poked at my salad with my fork, processing his words. “Oh, goodness,”
I said, thinking of what Shelly had said to me a few days after that, when I returned to Goshen with Penny. She told me to “give up and go home,” that I didn't know what I was up against. What were her exact words?
I know what you really want, but you had your chance. It's my turn now
.

Sitting here with Zed, almost a month later, I finally understood. When she said that, she hadn't been protecting a relationship with him—she'd been protecting her role in his film.

“So you're not dating her,” I managed to say without breaking out into a grin. I took a bite of lettuce to cover up my expression.

“Dating her? No way! She has a boyfriend—and I wouldn't trade places with him for a million dollars.”

“She's very pretty, though.”

“Yeah.” He thought for a moment. “But only on the outside.” He took a bite of his sandwich, chewed quickly, and swallowed. “Like that remark she made that day at the film screening. That's what I mean about her being ruthless. She'll do anything to eliminate competition for a role. She's a talented actress and really smart, so she makes a good study partner sometimes, but otherwise I can't stand her.”

I took a bite of my cheesy broccoli soup. The creamy warmth comforted me but not nearly as much as Zed's explanation of Shelly. I'd never felt such relief. Now the only thing standing between me and Zed was—Zed.

After lunch we stopped at one more location. It was a dirt road in a township in the far western part of the county, close to the river. “Wanna guess what scene this is for?” he asked.

I didn't know what he meant, but I looked around to try to figure it out. The area was pretty, but the muddy ruts had frozen. If it weren't so cold, we would have surely become stuck, just as they would have in their buggies more than two hundred years ago.

“Oh!” I cried, turning back to him. “The Great Wagon Road! Is this it?”

“No, sorry. The real Great Wagon Road is now Interstate 81.”

“You're kidding.”

“Nope. But this could make a nice stand-in, don't you think?”

Stepping in closer, Zed held up his hands, framed the shot, and then motioned for me to take a look. I did. “If we end up going with Abigail's
story, don't you think it would be perfect for the scene where she and Gorg and the baby first leave for North Carolina?” I could feel his breath against my face, we were that close.

“Izzy?”

“
Ya
,” I answered, aware that he was no longer looking up the road. He was staring down at me. I turned toward to him, and as I did he said, “Aw, Iz…”

Then, to my astonishment, he leaned forward and kissed me. His lips were warm on mine as his cold hands moved toward my face, framing it instead of the road. I leaned into him, kissing him back, amazed at how natural it felt to be together this way. I'd yearned for this moment for so long. So long.

When he finally pulled away, he dropped his hands and said, “Aw, man.”

I studied his gaze. “What?”

“I shouldn't…Ella told me…” His voice trailed off.

I blinked, mortified. Had Ella told him how I felt about him?

“Yes?”

“Ella warned me not to start something with you unless I was fully committed.”

“What did she say?”

He shrugged, his cheeks turning red. “She gave me a real talking to, practically all the way from Indiana to here. She warned me not to enter into a romance with you unless I mean to take it all the way to church membership and marriage.”

That explained a lot. “Is that why you were acting so weird when you first got here?”

“Yeah, I was confused. Ella doesn't mince words, you know. She's also really perceptive. It's not surprising she picked up on my feelings for you.”

My knees grew weak as I spoke. “And…what are your feelings for me?”

His eyes glistened. Perhaps it was the cold. Perhaps not.

“I love you, Izzy. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

My heart pounded at the words I'd longed to hear.

“I know it may seem weird, us being friends and all, but I started realizing it a while back, and I just haven't known what to do about it.”

I smiled. “I know what to do about it.”

This time I raised up on my tiptoes and kissed him, our lips meeting sweetly once again.

When we pulled apart the second time, I looked deep into his eyes and said, “You know I love you too, right?”

His eyes widened as I continued. “I think I always have, but I didn't realize it until the day before you went away to school. In August.”

He shook his head, his face slowly breaking into a huge grin. “I had no idea. I can't believe it took me so long to catch up.”

We both chuckled as he reached for my hands and entwined his fingers with mine.

“Ella was right, though. This is no small thing. We're talking about two different churches.”

I nodded. “But your mom left the Amish church for the Mennonites, and she's fine.”

“Yeah, and Ella left the Mennonite church for the Amish, and she's fine.”

We were quiet for a moment.

“So whatever we end up doing, we'll be…fine. Right?” I asked.

He shrugged, as if to say he didn't know.

I didn't know either. In fact, I was stumped as far as what to do next, but I certainly knew how I felt. I loved Zed Bayer with all of my heart.

And now I knew he loved me too.

T
WENTY
-S
IX

T
hat night I broached the topic of my feelings for Zed with my parents. I'd asked them to join me at the kitchen table while my younger siblings played Scrabble in the living room.

“What are you saying?”
Daed
pushed back his chair.

My face grew warm. “Zed and I care about each other. I'm considering the possibility of joining the Mennonite church—”

Daed
leaned forward toward me.

“—rather than the Amish.”

“Izzy,” he groaned.

I glanced toward
Mamm
. To my surprise, she seemed more curious than angry. But
Daed
's expression was all pain as he said, “I don't know how to respond.”

“You don't need to,” I answered. “I just wanted you to know.”

Daed
couldn't leave it alone, though. “Did you ask him to join our church?”

“No.”

“Did he ask you to join his?”

“No. All we've done so far is to put it in God's hands—”

At that
Daed
stood, saying, “What were we thinking to let you spend so much time with that boy?
Of course
this was bound to happen.” He marched away from the table to the mudroom, grabbing his work coat and then heading out into the night.

Tears filled my eyes. In all my life I had never seen him react so strongly.

“I know you both want me to join the church more than anything,” I said to
Mamm
after the back door had banged shut.

“No, not exactly. What I want most is for you to walk with the Lord. It's up to you to decide how to do that.”

I looked at her, astounded. “Like Ben Yoder…”

She nodded. “Like Ben Yoder. Should he not have become a doctor?”

I shook my head.

“Don't misunderstand, Izzy. I wouldn't have this conversation with any of your brothers or sisters. Only you. You're the only one this might work for. You're the only one who has been reading Scripture and praying in that room of yours all these years. Yes, you're intense and you worry, but I know you're connected to God. You're the one who wouldn't get caught up in the ways of the world. You're the one who could stay true to your faith without necessarily staying true to your church.”

I shook my head, trying to comprehend her words. “You wouldn't be…disappointed in me?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Of course not. I love you. And I will always love you, no matter what you decide. And you will always be welcome here, as will your husband.”

“What about
Daed
?”

“He'll come around.”

I didn't think so, but I couldn't bear to have conflict between us without at least trying to resolve it. I grabbed my cape and headed out the back door. A light shone in the window of his shop at far end of the barn. A minute later I pushed open the door. He stood with his back to me, his hands flat on an oak table.

“
Daed
, I'm sorry.”

He turned around, slowly. “I shouldn't have left like that.”

“I understand. This isn't easy.”

He took a deep breath and then asked, “What did your mother say?”

I told him, ending with, “She said the most important thing was that I follow the Lord.”

He ran his hand through his gray hair and then said, “She's right.” He shook his head, looked out the window, and then back at me. “How you follow the Lord is your decision, Izzy, including whether to join the church or not. Will I be disappointed if you don't?
Ya
.” He paused, exhaling slowly. “But I will love you no matter what you decide. Not everyone is cut out for this life.”