The Amish Doll: Amish Knitting Novel (Bonus Knitting Pattern Included) (17 page)

Like a weaned child with his mother;

Like a weaned child is my soul within me.

Psalm 131:1-2

Everything happening was too profound and great for her to grasp. She’d rest in the arms of Jesus, as the Amish often advised. God was in control, so she could quit white knuckling every situation in her life.

She saw Lawrence pull in from her bedroom window, and looked again in the mirror. She had on enough make-up, going with a more natural look. Raven grabbed her white coat and blue hat and went downstairs.

“Happy Birthday, Raven,” Lawrence said. “Ready for your big surprise?”

“I don’t know. You two are making me nervous. With this much fanfare, it must be something big.”

She noticed Eb’s eyes were misty. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all. But you need to get your doll.”

“My doll? Why?”

“It’s part of the surprise,” Lawrence said, his hand on Eb’s shoulder.

Raven put her hands up in surrender. “Okay.” Running up the steps she had a clue about what the surprise was. So many of her doll sweaters she’d knitted over the years were ruined in the fire. Eb must think she wanted doll clothes, but she wasn’t that attached to her doll to go shopping for it. She’d act surprised no matter what he did for her, the dear man had been planning this for weeks.

Raven grabbed her doll and went downstairs. “We’re ready to go.”

Lawrence helped her across the driveway and into his car. Eb got in the back. She looked over at the Yoders, hoping Joshua
didn’t get the wrong idea about her and Lawrence. She’d see Joshua tonight and explain, not wanting to bring any more drama into his life.

Lawrence drove further into Amish country, and not toward Jamestown. “What’s up here? Only farms…”

Eb patted her shoulder. “It’s only a few minutes away.” He told Lawrence which back roads to turn on to.

“I’ve never been down these roads. Are they even plowed?” Raven asked.

“I have a Jeep,” Lawrence quipped. “I can get through anything.”

Raven now knew why Lawrence was invited. They needed a four wheel drive. When Eb told Lawrence to pull into a little shop with a quilt sign on the front, she turned to him. “Eb, thank you! But Amish quilts are so expensive.”

“A quilt isn’t your present,” Eb said in a shaky voice. “Grab your doll before we go in.”

When they got out of the car and started towards the store, Raven saw that Eb was trembling. “Eb, are you cold?”

“Nee, I’m fine. Excited, is all.”

When they entered the store, a middle-aged Amish woman met them. She seemed to know Lawrence and didn’t shun Eb at
all. Raven looked around to see every nook and cranny of the tiny store was filled with crocheted and woven rugs, baskets, table runners, homemade cards, wooden puzzles, lots of quilts hung up, and Amish dolls. She naturally went over to the dolls first. She picked one up and noticed it looked like her rag doll. It didn’t have traditional Amish clothes but a pink and blue paisley dress with matching bonnet, just like hers.

Eb called her over. “Raven, this is Martha Mast. An old friend of mine.”

“Nice to meet you, Martha.” She held up the two dolls. “They look the same, only mine’s faded. Got it from my grandmother years ago.”

Martha took her doll and looked at it carefully. “Where does your grandmother live?”

“Well, she used to live in Salamanca.”

“Ach, she could have bought it here.”

“What a coincidence. Is there any way of knowing if you made it? Any special mark on the doll?”

Martha scrunched her lips. “Well, if I get a particular order, to make something special, I take orders, and before I put the black boot on, I write the person’s name on the doll’s foot.”

Raven had to know if this was the woman who made the doll, the link to her grandmother. “The boots are sewn on. Is there any way of looking to see if her name is on the foot?”

“Easily. I have a stitch ripper handy at all times. Will only take a minute. Why not shop around while I take off the boots? I believe Eb wants you to pick something out,
jah
?”

“
Jah
, I do. But not a quilt.” Tears filled Eb’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I wish I could afford it.”

Raven was puzzled over Eb’s behavior. A cake with candles would have been fine. Why would she expect him to get her a quilt? Maybe he thought the English got really big presents. “Eb, I actually want another doll. I like the ones with the wine color dresses and black aprons.”

“Well, go pick something out.” He turned to go over and talk to Martha.

Raven tingled at the thought that her grandmother could have been in this very shop. That she picked the material for her doll and special ordered it would be such a treat. She had a hard time shopping as Martha took the boots off her doll, but looked around nonetheless. Raven noticed the even stitches on a crocheted rug. She’d heard the Amish made knitted rugs that were heavy duty.
She’d love to see one and wondered if Martha made them. Maybe she could bring up a picture and show her.

She heard crying, and turned to see Eb embraced by Lawrence. “What’s wrong?”

Lawrence motioned for her to come over, as he tried to calm Eb down. Martha told her to come back around her little counter. “I have something to show you.”

Raven looked at Martha’s face. She was smiling as if it was good news. But why was Eb crying? She made her way around the counter and Martha took her hand. “Raven, the person who ordered this doll for you wasn’t your grandmother…but your
daed
.” She held up the doll’s foot for Raven to see EB written on the foot.

She
blinked and looked again. “Whose initials are those?”

“They’re not initials, but the name of your
daed
, understand?”

Raven leaned forward and held on to Martha. Lawrence came over and took her hand in one and Eb’s in the other. “Raven, Eb’s your father.”

“What? How?” Raven felt too numb to talk.

“I came with Eb for moral support and to explain if his name was on the doll’s foot and not Rueben’s.”

Martha got a chair and put it behind Raven, and she plopped into it.

“Raven,” Lawrence continued. “Eb and Rueben Yoder had girlfriends during their
rumspringa
, or running around days. These girls lived in Salamanca and came here to have them pick out dolls. They both liked the same doll, so Martha said she’d make two dolls and they could pick them up. She marked the foot on one doll Eb and RY, on the other, for Rueben Yoder.”

Raven put her head in her hands. “So you’re saying my mother was in this shop?”

“Yes, and she picked out that doll. It was passed on to you by your grandmother. Something that was your mother’s. Maybe you don’t remember your grandmother telling you it was your mother’s?”

Raven rocked back and forth. “I was five. I don’t remember much. Just know my grandmother gave her to me.” Her mother…her real mother… was in this store! She felt lightheaded and raked her fingers through her hair. And her real father was in this store…Eb!

She looked up at Eb, sobbing by her side, and she got up to embrace him. “I’m glad. I’m glad,” is all she could get out.

She felt Eb cradle her head on his shoulder. “Me too…my dear one.”

Lawrence put his arms around them both. “How about we go back to Eb’s and he can tell you the story in detail.”

Raven looked up to see other customers had entered the store.

“But Raven needs to pick out a birthday present,” Eb managed to say.

She put her arm through his. “I already have my present.”

Joshua asked the boys to clean the dishes so he could talk to Raven in the living room, and give her a birthday present. She’d been so emotional during dinner, and he knew she went somewhere with Lawrence, so was anxious to see where he stood.

He sat on the bench next to her and took her hand. “Raven, what’s wrong?”

“Joshua, I just can’t wait to tell you something. Eb is my
daed
.”

“What?”

“I found out today at the doll shop in Leon. He bought my doll for my mom years ago when they were dating, during his
rumspringa
. His name was on her foot. Your dad and Eb had girlfriends in their teens and both girls wanted the same doll, so Martha Mast had to make two dolls and marked the doll’s foot with the customer’s name. ”

Joshua looked out the window toward Eb’s house. “So that’s it. All these years my
daed
blamed Eb for leading him into a sinful
rumspringa
. He had an English girlfriend, too?”

Raven took his hand and grinned. “Joshua, I’m glad RY wasn’t on the doll’s foot, because I’d be your sister.”

He saw the excitement in Raven’s eyes, and didn’t want to spoil the night, but he’d be having words with his
daed
.
Jah
, he was right. When you point the finger, you have four pointing back at yourself. When Lottie accused him of being the
daed
of her
boppli
, his
daed
believed her because it was something he would have done, or did when he was young.

He turned to Raven. “He always felt the house fire and losing his wife and girl was God’s judgment for some past sin…”

“He told me all about that. Now he feels like it’s such a miracle he found me, that God really loves him. He wanted to marry my mom. Remember when I first met Eb and he called me Beauty? He called my mom that.”

“
Ach
, and he was drunk. You must look so much alike.”

Raven lowered her head. “Being in that shop, knowing my real mom had been in there, made me happy and angry all at once. I wondered why she abandoned me, but Eb said they were going to meet and run off and get married but she needed more time to think. Never saw her again.”

Joshua rubbed her back. “How about we celebrate you finding your
daed
?”

“Oh, I’m overcome with joy. Eb’s like a dad already. It’s awesome how God brought us together. I was drawn to him immediately, remember?”

He tilted her chin up and kissed her. “
Jah
, and do you realize you’re half Amish?”

She chuckled. “I guess I will be, because Eb’s going to repent and be reinstated in good standing.”

“Ach, that’s
goot
news…everyone will be relieved. We all love Eb.”

“And since my father is Amish, I don’t feel like I’d be denying my heritage by turning Amish too.” She put one hand up. “Not saying I will, but am leaning towards it for two reasons.”

“And what might they be?”

“The two men I love are Amish.”

Joshua pulled her close. “I have a present for you.” He pulled her up, leading her to a corner in the room. “It’s under the quilt.”

She looked at him and grinned. “
Danki
.” Then she pulled the quilt back to reveal a hope chest.

“Look inside.”

She opened the mahogany top and squealed. “Such beautiful China.” She picked up a cup. “So dainty.”

Joshua took her hand. “I can’t propose official like, since you’re not Amish. But a hope chest is just that,
jah
? Something to give, hope of the future?”

“So we’d be unofficially engaged, is that what you’re saying?”

“
Jah
, I want to marry you when God makes our path straight. I dream of you being Amish and my name being cleared. I think God put it in my heart, so I’m believing it will all happen.”

“Oh, Joshua, I’d love to be your wife.” She threw her arms around him and kissed Joshua until she was out of breath. “This is by far the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

~*~

Susanna fidgeted with the fringe on her blanket, the blanket made with love. Only three more weeks and she’d be home, Lord
willing. For her health’s sake, and for the family business. She looked over at Rueben, ever at the recliner, reading letters and cards that just arrived.  “You’ll need to tap the trees soon,
jah
? Maple syrup season’s coming on…”

“My favorite time of year and with a hard winter, the sap will be flowing mighty fine.” He walked over to take her hand. “I’m not leaving you, if you’re concerned.”

“Reuben, I know,” she said.

“So thankful, too. I’m sure Joshua and Eb can handle a lot of the work…”

“Eb?” Susanna narrowed her eyes. “You wouldn’t let him help last year because of the shunning.”

“Just got this letter from Eb. He’s feeling the need to repent for turning his back on God…”

“Praise be. But why the change of heart?”

Rueben pulled at his beard. “It’s so unbelievable, but he found out some good news. Raven is his daughter.”

Susanna gasped. She remembered Raven telling her on the first day they met that she never knew her parents. How painful that was for her. Their talks had deepened and Susanna prayed she’d somehow be reconciled with her family in Salamanca. But Eb was her
daed
? She looked at Rueben. “How is he her
daed
?”

“Remember I confessed about my
rumspringa
? How Eb and I had English girlfriends? Since Raven’s been living with him, lots of clues popped up, and Eb got suspicious. Long story, and it’s all in the letter for you to read….”

Susanna pursed her lips. “Did Eb know he left Raven’s
mamm
pregnant?”

“
Jah
, I remember as if it were yesterday. He was going to run away with her and get married, but said she needed time to think. Eb never heard from her again…”

Susanna thought of Raven knowing her
daed
was Amish. “Maybe Raven will be Amish, too.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Eb, she has a
daed
who’s Amish, and the man she loves is Amish.”

Rueben cocked an eyebrow. “Who?”

“Can’t you see it? Joshua and Raven love each other.”

Reuben slowly went to the recliner and sat down. “And you encourage this?”

“If Raven converts,
jah
. I would.”

“I just. I don’t know. Always figured he’d marry a girl from a
goot
Amish home. Someone who knows our ways.”

“And you think Lottie does? 
Nee
, what I see in Raven is a Christian woman. Isn’t that what we want more than anything for Joshua?”

Rueben looked out the hospital window. “I’ve been pressuring Joshua to marry Lottie, you know that?  People will always say he’s the
daed
…”

Susanna pulled the blanket up closer to her neck. “I’m trusting God to reveal the truth…”

~*~

Raven heard Eb come in the back door. She felt the cold chill wisp through the house. When Eb came into view, he held out a big, red, heart-shaped box of chocolates. He planted a kiss on her cheek. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Daughter.”

Raven put her head down, trying to hide the tears. She heard sniffling and looked up at Eb. “You too?”

“
Jah
. I’m still breaking down. To know you’re my daughter has made me a happy man. A restored man.”

Raven got up to get a tissue. “To know I was wanted…that my parents wanted to get married…that I wasn’t a mistake. It’s overwhelming at times. I always felt deep down I wasn’t supposed to be born.”

Eb embraced her. “I have nothing against your grandparents, but I wish they would have told me the truth.”

Raven nodded. “Me too. They shouldn’t have told you my mom took me when she ran off.”

“Even if Flo was gone, I wanted to be your
daed
.”

“Because you wanted to do the right thing? The honorable thing?”

“Nee, I loved your
mamm
and I loved you. I never saw you as a
boppli
because…”

“Why?”

“Well, you know the Amish are pacifist and won’t fight. Some friends went with me when you were born so I could see you. We were met with some resistance. Got beat up real bad.”

“What?” Raven remembered her grandfather’s distain for the Amish because he said they weren’t real men, not defending themselves. Was he referring to Eb? “Were you badly hurt?”

“
Jah
, and my
mamm
and
daed
got afraid. Some broken ribs and all and had to be bandaged up. So I sent a letter to Flo asking her to meet me and she came, but like I said, needed more time to think…”

Eb seemed to fall into a trance, thinking of something so long ago, but with such deep emotion. That he loved her mom Raven had no doubt. “Would you like to find her?”

He put up his hand in protest. “I’m going to be reinstated into the Amish, having repented of my turning to the bottle instead of God. I never stopped being Amish, and the last thing I need is to be drawn backwards.” He paused and narrowed his eyes. “Do you want to find her?”

“Since I knitted that scarf for Aunt Brook, I can’t explain it, but I’m not afraid to go down and see her and ask questions about my mom. Lawrence wants me to meet someone who knows my Aunt Brook and wants to talk to me first. Not just go surprise her.”

“Benny Kettle?”

“Yes. I guess he runs the Indian museum in Salamanca.”

“I met Benny years ago. He’s a
goot
man who’s trying to share Christ with his People. Lawrence has helped him for years.” He grinned. “I think Lawrence has his eye on Benny’s daughter. Has for a while, but was taken with you for a spell. He’s taking Heather out on a Valentine’s date tonight.”

Raven was relieved Lawrence was seeing someone. He’d be the last person she’d want to hurt. No wonder he suggested such
casual dating. He was weighing his feelings for Heather and her. She thought of the forecast. “Eb, is Lawrence driving to Salamanca tonight?”

“
Jah
, all dressed up and all.”

“But there’s a blizzard warning. Hope he plays it safe.”

“I think if he gets stuck at Benny’s house, he’ll be glad.” He rubbed his hands together. “Want to put together a puzzle?”

“Joshua made me a Valentine’s meal. You know about us, right?”

“I’m not blind or daft. But you need to be Amish.”

“And I’m reading all the books you gave me to study and talked to the bishop. He doesn’t bite like I supposed. Really a humble man, I now see cares so deeply for those in his church. I was impressed.”

Eb took her hand. “Listen Raven, if there is a blizzard warning, you need to stay here.”

Raven cocked her head. “Why? I’d be next door.”

“You can’t see the nose in front of you in a blizzard. People have gotten trapped in places for days.”

“I’ll come home if I see any snow. How does that sound?”

~*~

Bud and Chuckey looked through their binoculars to see Lottie walk down the road on her usual trip to see a “sick person”. They soon saw Bruce’s car and Lottie get in. Chuckey grabbed his walkie-talkie. “Miss Meadow, come in. S.O.S.”

When there was no response after several attempts, he called Timmy and Cliffy. “Timmy, Cliffy, Skyhawk. Do you read me? S-K-Y-H-A-W-K!”

“This is Timmy. Miss Meadows is here. Now we’ll nail those two. Here she is.”

“Chuckey. This is Miss Meadows. Are you alright? And what is Skyhawk all about?”