Authors: Ruth Hartzler
John 5:24.
Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.
Chapter 13
.
It had been several days since Jebediah Sprinkler had asked Nettie to marry him, but she shook her head and shuddered every time she thought of it. It had spurred her on to find the will. Consequently, the
haus
was in disarray as Nettie had searched most of it. She had pulled boxes out of old cupboards and had diligently searched through the contents, most of which comprised musty, old, yellowing papers.
To make matters worse, there had been no sign of Daniel Glick, despite him offering to fix the gates to prevent Blessing escaping. Her
mudder
had always said, "
Menner
, they're no
gut
for anything," and she was beginning to think her
mudder
was right. Jebediah Sprinkler was trying to steal her
haus
and farm, and, worse still, wanted to marry her - Nettie shuddered again - and then there was Daniel Glick, who had offered to fix her gates, but since then had been conspicuous by his absence.
The Glicks had asked her to start her gardening duties the week after the next church meeting, and Nettie, despite being slightly annoyed with Daniel over his absence, could not wait to see him.
Nettie turned her attention back to the will. There was a high cupboard above the aged, propane gas powered refrigerator and it was part of an old, built in unit. Nettie dragged one of the wooden kitchen chairs over to the refrigerator, and stood on it. She opened the door and was met with a horrible, musty smell.
I bet this cupboard hasn’t been opened in years
, Nettie thought. She for one had not opened it, and her
mudder
had not been able to stand on a chair for many years, so she most certainly had not opened it, either.
Nettie reached into the dark, musty cupboard and grasped for a cardboard box that was just out of her reach. She stood on her toes and reached for it, and finally was able to drag it toward her. At that moment, the chair collapsed.
Nettie fell heavily to the floor.
The chair just collapsed without warning
, Nettie thought with surprise.
It just gave way without so much as a creak
. Nettie grasped her right ankle which was beginning to hurt.
Just then there was a knock on the door. "
Hullo
, Nettie?"
Nettie tried to stand, but her foot gave way. She sat back down on the floor and called out, "Is that you, Melissa?"
"
Jah
, it’s me," Melissa called back.
"Come in; I'm in the kitchen."
Melissa looked horrified to see Nettie sitting on the floor and hurried over to her. "Nettie, whatever happened; are you all right?"
Nettie nodded. "
Jah
, the chair just collapsed. I was standing on it to get to that cupboard." Nettie pointed behind her. "Oh dear, look at the mess." There were papers spread all over the floor. Nettie sent up a silent prayer of thanks to
Gott
that the heavy box had not fallen on her head.
"Can you stand?" Melissa tried to help Nettie to her feet.
"Ouch."
"Oh Nettie, I must drive you to the
doktor
."
"
Nee
,
nee
," Nettie said. "It’s not broken. It doesn't hurt too much; it just won't take my weight. I'm sure it will be better soon."
Melissa bit her lip and looked at Nettie for a moment. "All right then, but come on; I'll help you over to a comfortable chair. You should elevate your foot and I'll put some ice on it."
"And I have some arnica cream in the kitchen in a mason jar," Nettie said, "if you wouldn’t mind getting that. It's labeled. It'll stop the bruising."
Melissa left, but soon hurried back with ice wrapped in a towel and the mason jar of arnica cream. "I had a look at the chair. Three of the spindles under the chair have snapped. I wouldn’t sit on any of those other chairs in the set; they look so old and I don't think they’re safe. How old are they?"
Nettie thought for a moment. "I think they were
grossmammi's
; they could be sixty years old for all I know."
Melissa shook her head. "Seriously, I don’t think you should sit on any of the chairs. If one broke like that, the others are likely to as well. Anyway, I’ll make you some hot meadow tea with honey for the shock."
"Actually, Melissa, if it's not too much trouble, would you make me some bilberry tea please? It will help with the bruising too."
"Oh yes, I think I saw bilberry tea in one of the mason jars when I was looking for the arnica," Melissa said.
Nettie was filled with gratitude. "I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn't come along; I would've had to crawl everywhere."
Melissa waved her thanks aside. "You're
wilkum
, truly."
Soon, Nettie and Melissa were sitting, drinking bilberry tea. "You know, it doesn't taste too bad," Melissa said. "It’s like a bitter, weak blueberry drink."
"You didn’t put honey in yours too?"
"
Nee
." Melissa looked down at her cup and Nettie felt that perhaps something was troubling her.
"Is everything all right, Melissa?"
Melissa looked even more uncomfortable. "The other day, Daniel saw you having lunch with a
mann
."
Nettie nearly choked on her tea; it went down the wrong way. After a moment of coughing and spluttering, she said in an animated voice, "That was no
mann
! That was Jebediah Sprinkler!"
"The
mann
who's trying to take your
haus
and farm?"
Nettie nodded and took another sip of tea. "
Jah
."
Melissa frowned. "Well then, why did you have lunch with him?"
Nettie thought for a moment. "I know it seems silly, but I agreed to have lunch with him as he said he didn’t want to take it all away from me and he had an idea how I could keep it." Melissa looked pleased, so Nettie hurried to explain. "
Nee
, it's not
gut
news at all. It turns out his idea was that we should get married."
"Married?" Melissa repeated. "And you're not considering it, are you?"
Nettie was horrified. "
Nee
, of course not." She shuddered. "Oh, Melissa, he seems so awful, and he said he's seeing a lawyer about the missing will."
Melissa shook her head. "That's just it, isn’t it - the will is
missing
, and so as long as it’s missing, there's nothing he can do. Is your lawyer worried?"
"He doesn't seem to be, but he did say that if the missing will was later than the one that's going through probate now, that Jebediah Sprinkler will get everything." Nettie looked at Melissa, expecting her to look exceedingly worried, but she simply shrugged.
"Well, if it's
Gott's
will, it’s
Gott's
will."
Nettie was puzzled. "What do you mean, Melissa? If Jebediah Sprinkler gets my
haus
and land, then I’ll have nothing. I'll be homeless."
"Not homeless surely. The bishop will find you a
familye
to live with. You could even come and live with us."
Nettie was growing more exasperated by the minute. "But it’s
my
property,
my haus
and farm."
Melissa shrugged again. "You have to have faith, Nettie, faith to leave it all in the hands of
Gott
. If it turns out that the will is found, well that will be only because
Gott
wants it to be found.
Gott
might have another plan for you."
That’s what you think
, Nettie thought with some resentment.
Of course Gott wouldn’t want me to be homeless; if I find that will, I will burn it
.
"Anyway," Melissa continued, "You could marry my
bruder
, Daniel."
Nettie spluttered over her tea once more. "Daniel? Marry?"
Melissa laughed at Nettie's discomfort. "
Jah
, he likes you. He was jealous about seeing you with that
mann
."
Nettie's heart raced and her palms grew sweaty. "Did he say so?" She held her breath until Melissa answered.
Melissa chuckled. "
Nee
, but he didn’t have to. He was jealous all right, and I know he likes you. He's never been interested in any
maidel
before. I know a lot about
menner
; you know where I work, don’t you?"
Nettie tried to remember. "
Nee
, I don’t think so; I only know that you work three days a week."
Melissa nodded. "
Jah
, I work for a matchmaking agency. I mostly do the paperwork, but all the
menner
who are on the agency's books seem so predictable, at least on paper. I don’t interview anyone; my boss Harriet does that. I’ll never get married."
Nettie was so shocked that she forgot about her own predicament for the moment. "You'll never get married? What about
kinner
? Don’t you want
bopplis
?"
"I do want
bopplis
," Melissa said, "but I don’t want to get married until I'm almost too old to have
bopplis
." She chuckled.
The girls then sipped their tea in companionable silence. Nettie's thoughts soon drifted to Daniel. His
schweschder
, Melissa, had just told her that Daniel liked her. Nettie was also developing feelings for Daniel. Nettie saw a problem with this. If she destroyed the will, then she could not see herself courting Daniel at any time. Nettie would not be able to keep the fact that she had destroyed the will from Daniel, so then what sort of person would he think she was? As far as Nettie saw it, she had two choices if the will did come to light. The first was to destroy the will, keep her
haus
and farm, and deny her attraction to Daniel. The second was to let Jebediah Sprinkler have her own property, and throw herself onto the will of
Gott
.
It was only later that night, as Nettie tossed and turned in bed thinking over both options, that she thought that perhaps she should stop plotting and planning, and have faith to let
Gott
have His will and way in the matter.
Hebrews 11:6.
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.
Chapter 14
.
Nettie drove Blessing to the Schlabachs'
haus
where the fortnightly church meeting was to be held on this occasion. She was in plenty of time, for the service always started at eight. Yet Nettie felt sick to the stomach with the thought of being around so many people. Sure, she had been around a crowd of people at the viewing and the funeral, but she was in such a state back then that she had paid it no mind. Now, however, she was actively dreading it.
Nettie tied up Blessing and was nervously making her way to the
haus
, when she heard a horse snorting. She turned around and saw that Blessing was walking away from the
haus
, pulling the empty buggy behind him. Nettie hurried after him and to her embarrassment, saw he had stopped next to the Glicks'
familye
buggy. The only Glick in sight was Daniel, who had just caught Blessing.
"Missing a horse?" Daniel asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Daniel," Nettie said. "I know that I tied him properly. Perhaps he can undo knots as well as gates."
Daniel hung his head and avoided Nettie's gaze. "I must explain about not coming to fix your gates," Daniel said.
Nettie hurried to reassure him. "Oh, that's fine. I know you're very busy."
"It's not that," Daniel said, and a slow, red flush colored his cheeks. "It’s just that I didn't want to interrupt you if you had,
err
, guests."
"Guests?" said Nettie, being entirely perplexed.
Daniel turned to his horse and fiddled with its harness. "That day at the plant nursery, when I went inside on an errand for my
mudder
," he said over his shoulder, "I saw you having lunch with a
mann
."
Nettie was concerned. Surely Melissa had told Daniel? Or was he just checking for himself? "
Nee
, that was Jebediah Sprinkler, the
mann
who would like to steal my land. He said he had an idea how I could keep the land, and refused to tell me unless I had lunch with him. He asked me to marry him; his idea for me to keep the land was to marry him."
Nettie noted that Daniel, who had turned back to her and was gazing at her, looked annoyed but not surprised, so she figured that Melissa had told him after all. A little thrill of excitement ran through her as she realized that Daniel was indeed jealous. Suddenly, the sky looked bluer, the sun shone brighter, and she could hear birds happily singing. Nettie giggled as she wondered what had come over her.
"Obviously you refused." Daniel said it as a statement, not a question, but Nettie answered anyway.
"
Jah
, of course."
Daniel beamed. "Well, let me tie up Blessing next to my horse. Perhaps Blessing misses him." He ignored the fact that his horse did not seem quite so pleased in turn to see Blessing, as he squealed at him and struck at him with his hoof.
Nettie's stomach clenched, hoping that Daniel had made the suggestion in order to see her again after the church meeting.
Daniel and Nettie walked over to the Schlabachs'
haus
, and Nettie was glad of his presence. She was now less afraid of going into the crowd of people and less dreading the curious looks that she knew were to come.
To Nettie's relief, Melissa was waiting for her just inside, in the room where the women were already seated on the backless, wooden benches. As the Schlabachs'
haus
was not as large as some, and certainly not as large as the some
familyes'
barns where the church meetings were often held in their turn, the
menner
were seated in an adjoining room. Nettie remembered the church services from the time before her
mudder
had become a recluse, and remembered that the ministers would walk between rooms while sharing
Gott's
word.
The women did look at her with curiosity, but their smiles held warmth and acceptance. Nettie was at once overwhelmed with a sense of community and caring.
The first song of the church meeting was, as always, from the Amish hymnal, the
Ausbund
. And, as always, the hymns were sung without music, and were sung exceedingly slowly. Nettie had not been to church for many years, and although she struggled for a moment with the first line of the song,
O Gott, Vadder, wir loben dich, und deine Güte preisen wir
, the words came back to her readily:
O God, Father, we praise you
And your goodness we exalt,
Which you, O Lord so graciously
Have manifested to us anew,
And have brought us together, Lord,
To admonish us through Your Word,
Grant us grace to this.
Open the mouth, Lord, of your servants,
Moreover grant them wisdom
That they might rightly speak your word,
Which ministers to a godly life
And is useful to your glory,
Give us hunger for such nourishment,
That is our desire.
Give our hearts understanding as well
Enlightenment here on earth,
That your word be engrained in us,
That we may become godly
And live in righteousness,
Heeding Your Word at all times,
So man remains undeceived.
Yours, O Lord, is the kingdom alone,
And the power altogether.
We praise you in the assembly,
Giving thanks to your name,
And beseech you from the depths of our hearts
That you would be with us at this hour
Through Jesus Christ, Amen
.
Nettie knew that sixty five of the one hundred and forty songs of the
Ausbund
were composed between 1535 and 1540 by Anabaptists imprisoned in the dungeon of Passau Castle in Germany. Most of these men were awaiting the death sentence, and were later martyred. Nettie felt a sharp pang of conviction that these men were fully prepared to die for their faith, and by comparison, her own problems were completely inconsequential. What right did she have to go against the will of
Gott
?
The people had begun singing the second song,
Das Loblied
. This was always the second hymn sung at Amish church meetings.
My God, Thee will I praise
When my last hour shall come,
And then my voice I'll raise
Within the heavenly home.
O Lord, most merciful and kind,
Now strengthen my weak faith,
And give me peace of mind.
To Thee, in every deed,
My spirit I commend,
Help me in all my need,
And let me ne'er offend.
Give to my flesh Thy strength
That I with Thee may stand,
A conqueror at length
.
Tears pricked at Nettie's eyes. The
Ausbund
hymns did reflect loneliness, sorrow and despair, but throughout all, they reflected that one should pour out one's troubles to
Gott
. These men, who suffered in the first great persecution of the Anabaptists, found reasons to praise and thank
Gott
, so who was Nettie to go against
Gott's
will?
The first sermon of the day lasted thirty minutes, and the subject was on leading a right life in the sight of
Gott
. Nettie was overwhelmed with guilt. If she destroyed the will, she would be doing the wrong thing.
By the time more Scriptures were read, and Nettie kneeled for the silent prayer before the main sermon, she had all but made up her mind what to do, should she find the will.