The Accidental Wife (28 page)

Us

N
aina stood in front of the floor length mirror and began to slowly unwrap her sari. She called it her reality check mirror because it helped keep track of her scars, both old and new, and monitor them, as some faded and others took their place. Of late, she had even begun to find some resemblance between her reflection and the girl in Rihaan’s video. But now she knew it to be a delusion.

She sneaked a glance at her husband out of the corner of her eye. Having just walked out of the shower, he was vigorously toweling his hair. His white T clung lovingly to his damp torso.

She yanked her eyes away and said, clearing her throat, “Can you help me with these pins? My hand isn’t cooperating again.”

“Are you all right?” he asked, flinging the towel away at once and rushing to her side.

“Yes I think so. Just tired.”

But he wouldn’t believe her as usual, going through the ritual of examining her arm, and asking her to follow simple commands to reassure himself. When he was done, he smiled, appearing satisfied and chided her gently while unpinning her sari. “Why did you have to wear this?”

“To please your mother,” she said watching him in the mirror.

But he looked intent in his task.

“You have to please no one,” he said, tossing the long end of the garment down on the bedroom floor. She sensed his finger run down the spine of her shoulder blade and shuddered, closing her eyes.

“Fabulous,” he murmured softly, as if he was talking to himself. “I must congratulate Dr. Rivers.”

Her eyes sprang open. “Who is Dr. Rivers?”

“Your plastic surgeon,” he explained, meeting her eyes in the mirror. “She’s done an excellent job. The huge scar on your back is almost invisible.” He grinned.

“Oh…right.” She turned around and took a deep breath. Time to come clean. “Rihaan, I appreciate your sacrifice…but…”

“Sacrifice?
What
sacrifice?” He stared blankly at her—that innocent I-don’t-know-what-the-heck-you-mean stare. Why was he making it so difficult!

She tried to compose herself. “I release you from your obligations. You’re free.”

He continued to watch her. “Obligations? Free? Stop talking in riddles, Naina!” He stepped forward, making her stagger against the dresser.

Her hands scrambled for support. The look on his face was sapping her of her courage. Maybe this wasn’t the right time but she couldn’t postpone it any longer. She had to get it out of her system.

She bit her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. “I’ve compelled you all this time to lead your life with a selfish and mean woman, who isn’t even a tiny bit attractive,” she said looking down. Her head sagged weighed down by grief. “I never thought of you. Not once…about your wants, your desires. And I know what you’ll say. You’ll say it doesn’t matter, but I can’t. I can’t let it continue like this. Because…I love you so much!” She broke into a sob.

“Naina…”

But she couldn’t stop crying. The feelings she had suppressed for so long had chosen to revolt. “I really do love you, Rihaan and that’s why even though the very thought kills me, I will let you go.”

“No.” He propped her up as she swayed tipsily on her feet. “No Naina. No! Please. My love. My poor darling. Stop.” Grasping her tear-soaked face in his hands, he kissed it. “Stop crying and listen to me!” He admonished her, but she ignored him.

“I’m an invalid. Damaged goods. Scarred and ugly. You cannot but abhor me. It’s plain as day!” she wailed.

“HUSH!” His lips covered her mouth. “There now.”

She stared insensibly at him.

“Now that I have your attention,” he said, smiling tenderly. “I love you, all of you, every tiny scar. The way you slur your words when you get excited, your ungainly walk. Even your annoying little tantrums.” He tapped her chin with his forefinger. “They make you the most complete and beautiful woman that I’ve ever known in this world, or ever will know. And unfortunately…you can’t let me go.”

“Why?” she asked dumbly.

“Because I am stuck to you, stupid girl! Like a limpet, with waterproof glue or whatever you may choose to call it! You can’t get rid of me no matter how hard you try! Because I belong to you. Only you. Always have!” He yanked her into his arms so fiercely that her breath expelled with an audible whoosh.

“My love. My only love.” He kissed her tear-soaked lashes. “I want to cry with joy when I hear you say that you love me. No words have ever sounded more sweet and pure.”

With her hands held up against his chest, she scanned his face rapidly, and was surprised by the earnestness she saw there. Her doubts and misgivings began to gradually evaporate. “But I’ve displeased you by telling you lies. It’s okay, Rihaan. You can leave. I can take care of myself. I’m capable now. Alice told me so.”

“It’s okay!?” he exclaimed, throwing his head back and roaring with laughter. Then he clutched her even tighter. “It’s not okay! Because you haven’t, you
didn’t
displease me
, as you so sweetly put it. It was just an innocent way of showing me how much you loved me. And I pounced on you viciously for it. I’m so terribly sorry. Forgive me, darling. Won’t you? Please?” He supplemented his plea with a disarming smile.

She shrugged. Was it that easy? “All right. But…”

“But what?”

“You don’t love me…not in that way…” she said, her eyes fluttering bashfully.

“I do. Love you…very much in that way,” he grunted, dipping his head closer, the smoldering flames in his eyes bringing the blood rushing to her cheeks.

“But…” she gasped. Her heart had gone berserk, pounding so hard it was ready to explode. “You haven’t ever…”

“Shown it?” He completed her sentence. “Yes. I accept I’m guilty and I’ve a confession to make. I was pressuring myself to keep my feelings in check. I was afraid of making a mistake that I’d never be forgiven. I didn’t want to appear to be taking advantage of your situation and add to all the trauma you’ve been through. That is the reason why I didn’t share your bed or sleep in the same room. I simply didn’t want to give in to temptation which seems to multiply with every moment that passes. I know you’ve accepted me as your husband, but I wanted to gain your affection and trust beyond any doubt. I was just waiting for the right moment…”

“Oh Rihaan… My darling,” she said, her eyes glistening again, but this time through a pool of joy. “Don’t you see that I love you? I don’t remember anything of how we got together but I know it must’ve been beautiful. We must’ve been in love and I still am. My feelings have never been stronger and that’s the only truth I know.”

They gazed mutely at each other. Their hearts, having suffused to the brim with love, tottered and spilled over, engulfing them both in a sea of sensations that had no parallel. Silently, he scooped her up in his arms and walked to the bed, leaving a trail of silk as the rest of her sari unraveled on the floor.

Laying her down gently, he reached with eager fingers to unhook her blouse.

“Stop!” she said, gripping his hands. “You first.”

He grinned foxily. “Shy, are we? Fine.” He got rid of his shirt in one swift movement.

She sat up, sucking her breath in sharply. With eyes wide open, she skimmed in wonderment at his finely chiseled flesh, the pads of her fingers brushing across his well-defined pectorals and down his strong, sinewy arms.

A muffled groan escaped him. The look in his eyes made her rush to hide her heated face in the crook of his neck. But he drew her out and locked his mouth onto her trembling lips. Long and hard. Tasting her, as if he hadn’t had a meal in ages. She knotted her fingers into his scalp and kissed him back, while he lay her down removing the rest of her clothing.

Tugging at her hairpiece, he sent it flying to join the rest of the pile on the floor. Then they were bare and pristine, lying side by side, skin to skin, staring boldly at each other.

She experienced no shame. Not even for a moment. They were like two lovers who had known each other all their lives, just hadn’t met yet.

There was no mistaking his desire as his hands launched themselves on an amorous journey all over her body, lingering on her curves which had finally filled back up and were hungering for his touch.

Something clicked, kindling a deeply buried memory for Naina. The lock to a hidden door snapped open. He reached inside and grabbed her soul and took her to a place somewhere far beyond this world. Kissing, coaxing and caressing her wound-tainted flesh, he applied the final healing touch. The scars—they vanished into thin air. Her heart leaped out of her chest wanting to scream and announce aloud to anybody who could hear—Yes! I am the most beautiful and desirable woman in this world, if not for anyone else, to this man, who gives me definition—slowly, intimately, and with love.

The mystery had unraveled and the dust from the storm finally settled. Yes, he was her love, her husband, the only man she’d ever known or wanted to know. And he was loving her just like before. Nothing remained that needed to be proved or disproved.

She gazed up at him. An all-consuming need awakened deep in her body, forcing her to throw her arms out and reach for him.

***

“Naina. My most adorable, beautiful wife.” He took her in his arms and wept.

She was finally
his
, completely, and he was loving her and begging her forgiveness for his reckless misdeeds. Her arms tightened around his neck and she whispered his name, over and over again. He choked with joy. “I love you so much, my sweet darling.”

They made love, explicit and irrefutable in every way, moving together in smooth synchrony—a glorious culmination to a long and painful journey. And they savored every moment.

Not Just Biology

N
aina deposited her purchases on the small flight of stairs leading to the entrance of her apartment building, then sat down to rest herself. She needed it badly, having been on the go since early that morning.

And by ‘on the go’, she meant exactly that. She’d begun by baking a batch of cookies—her very first—and taking them over to the hospital where she shared them with a surprised staff, all of whom were uniformly thrilled to see her doing so well. Then, instead of stopping for a bite she’d embarked on an impromptu bus ride and unsuccessfully attempted to draw a mental map of the route. Subsequently, after disembarking right in the middle of downtown she’d proceeded to hike several blocks of teeming city streets, gawking at the sites, even stopping intermittently to take snapshots of some colorful hobos. Following which, she’d spent nearly an hour at the grocery store buying things she didn’t need!

Yet, it just wouldn’t quit! Her gears seemed stuck in perpetual overdrive, making her head spin and her body cry with exhaustion. She stared dolefully at her scuffed up soles
. How much longer am I supposed to handle this torture?

Forever, Naina,
a little voice said.

Forever?
But of course! She smiled. And I won’t have it any other way, even if it implies that I’m prematurely headed for the grave. Because I possess the most precious thing in the world that’d remain absolute even if I paint myself black and blue or get myself locked up in jail—my husband’s love. Nobody on earth can take it away from me. And if that’s driving me insane, so be it!

Naina colored, recollecting what had transpired just a few hours ago…

Morning had broken. The sun’s shadow had gradually crept up over the edge of the bed. Naina lay there like she did every day, in silence, waiting for the fog to lift, so she could take some more pills and summon it back. But not today.

Today, unlike any other day so far, there was no sign of any fog. Only blue skies and brilliant sunshine, making her mind and body feel beautifully fresh and clear and…
naked!

Thrown into a tizzy, she scrambled for the sheets.

“No, don’t. I like you a lot better this way,” her husband’s voice rang out smooth and loud and she was yanked back down only to be spooned onto his bare torso and have her rump lodged firmly against his growing hardness. Then draping an arm possessively across her chest, he began nibbling on her left ear with his sharp teeth, sending tiny shocks of pleasure down her spine.

Shuddering uncontrollably, she flipped over and pressed her lips hard against his.

He was the reason the fog had cleared and for that he deserved anything and everything she could give him.
And why not?
Wasn’t he the man she had loved from the beginning of time?

Yet she couldn’t suppress the moans and cries and gasps as he toyed with her flesh and made a meal of her. Last night’s gentleness was gone. It had been replaced with love which was impulsive, forceful and fiercely passionate. These were all the characteristics she’d come to associate with the man, the secret of his charm, his energy and vibrancy that was making her fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

But he wouldn’t let her quietly rejoice over her fate. He wanted,
demanded
her participation. And she gave it willingly—for her man was endowed with not just a beautiful mind but an unbelievably sexy body. Joyful laughter gurgled in her throat but no! That excited him even more!

Shackling her arms above her head, he imprisoned her with his mesmerizing gaze, then without any further ado thrust into her deep and hard. Her startled cry disappeared into the roomy cavern of his throat when he kissed her with the utmost tenderness, yet continued to slam into her establishing an unearthly rhythm.

She was pulled down along with him, plunged into a vortex of unequal ecstasy. They had attained their goal, two beautiful souls finally locked together. As she sank down, her head exploded with flashes of brilliant color she had never seen before. She was in the center of the universe, weathering the strongest typhoon. Then she was riding an invisible roller coaster, ferried to dizzying heights from where she fell free into empty space, before hurtling through galaxies at the speed of light. The stimulation was relentless, incessant, and she could only take so much. His affection had dragged her to the edge of survival.

But just as her batteries were about to run out and she shut her eyes preparing for the waters to close over her head, she was suddenly rescued, and was off riding the crest of a gigantic wave, higher and higher until the darkness was pierced by the purest, sweetest and most serene, white light. She believed she had glimpsed heaven.

Later lingering in the aftermath of ultimate togetherness, Naina shivered as the perspiration evaporated from her back. He drew her closer, flush against his chest, where his respirations still carved a ragged course.

Emitting a happy little moan, she snuggled deeper into his warm and toasty neck waiting for the pleasant numbness to spread through her body and shut down her brain. But just then he murmured in her ear, “I have to go.”

The words jolted her like a thousand watt lightning bolt. “What did you say?”

His response was a dramatic sigh of regret. “Darling, I’ve decided to grant you your wish—independence. I’m leaving you.”

“What? No! You’re lying!” Her eyes were filled with agitation and disbelief.

He laughed and dropped a kiss on her curly mop. “My love, it isn’t what you think. That’d just kill me. I’m going away for a few days, four to be exact.”

Now fully awake, she brooded silently over the information, while his hands smoothed her bare back before localizing suggestively over her butt cheeks, setting her ears aflame.

“Stop playing with me!” she exploded, elbowing him away. “You can’t leave me! Not now, not ever! I won’t let you!”

“I don’t want to go, either,” he said in a more sedate tone. “But my boss, he asked me to. He called yesterday and requested me to present your case at a conference in Rio. I couldn’t refuse, though it’s something I’d rather not do.”

“But if that’s so, you must!” she said earnestly. “There are bound to be so many others like me, who could benefit from your experience. You cannot deny them the chance, Rihaan.”

“Guess you’re right. And you make it sound so noble.” His lips curled into a fond smile. “I wish I could take you along but…”

“I know why you can’t. Because you aren’t yet prepared to divulge to me the circumstances of my accident. Will there ever be a time when you will?” she asked not seeming particularly perturbed.

“Yes, and it’ll be very soon. I promise. I love you so much, my darling! Thank you!” He pulled her again into a tight embrace.

She hugged him back, loving him for protecting her with such a fierceness, even though she felt it may be a bit too excessive.

“I’ve asked sis to take you to her place every night and drop you back off in the morning, so you can enjoy your
freedom
most of the day.”

“You trust me to take care of myself?” she asked cheekily.

“I trust you only to a point. And if you don’t behave…be warned,” he murmured gruffly, smothering her giggle with a kiss. “So, what will you give me for a farewell gift?”

“How does a hearty breakfast sound?” she suggested brightly.

His eyes glinted with mischief. “Plenty of time for that. Right now I’m in the mood for sustenance of a different kind.” He bent down and closed his mouth around her aroused flesh.

***

Naina shivered despite the eighty degree heat. Her entire skin had erupted in goosebumps. She’d heard about the power of love and all the wonderful things it could accomplish, but this? She sighed. I better load up on calories if I want to keep up with him.

She was in the process of gathering her bags when she heard someone call her name. She glanced up and saw a young woman looking earnestly at her.

Naina bit her lips in frustration. This hefty creature with a white-blonde mane and explosive vocal cords couldn’t exactly be termed forgettable. Yet, she couldn’t place her at all. She chose to play it by ear. “Rihaan…I mean Dr. Mehta is out of town. Could I deliver a message?”

“It’s not him I’ve come to see, it’s you.” The woman smiled. “I’m Maria, your colleague from
Landscape
magazine. I understand why you’re having trouble remembering me.”

“You do?”
Naina said, detecting an undercurrent of excited anticipation.

“Yes.” Maria’s expression grew solemn. “I’d have come to visit you earlier, if I hadn’t been away on a sensitive assignment in Africa. But I heard about your accident and everything else.”

A prolonged pause followed as she appeared to grapple with what to say next, then just chose to blurt it out. “What you’ve been through is…is unimaginable. I just can’t begin to say how terrible I feel.”

Naina smiled genially. She found Maria’s earnestness captivating, and the empathy that radiated from her required no validation. “Thanks. I’m doing much better now. Why don’t you come in?” She removed the apartment keys from her purse. “We can talk over some tea and maybe you’d like something to eat? Rihaan says I make a mean pita sandwich.”

“That sounds fantastic!” Maria accepted the invitation with a bright smile.

While Naina put the kettle on to boil and set about preparing a small meal, Maria hovered in the vicinity, peeping through windows, picking up random books from the shelves and placing them back right away, simply pottering around aimlessly, looking distracted and preoccupied. And though Naina was bursting at the seams with questions she’d been long seeking answers to, she maintained her peace. Her friend’s visit appeared to have a specific purpose.

Later, as they munched in silence, Naina noticed her guest looking her over. Automatically, her fingers rose to the small cluster of scars on the side of her neck. Her hair was still too short to cover it. She looked Maria directly in the eye, “Would you be honest and tell me something?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“I’m ugly, right?”

Maria looked startled. “Of course not. You’re beautiful. More so now. There’s something in you which wasn’t there before.”

“Yes, the scars.”

“No,” Maria took Naina’s hand. “I meant to say
resilience
, a charming vitality, which adds an earthly vibe to your ethereal beauty. A deadly combination.”

Naina burst out laughing and pulled her hand back. “Words! Just words from a journalist’s repertoire.”

“Maybe you don’t believe me. But your husband. Doesn’t he make you feel beautiful?”

Naina flushed a deep red.
He makes me feel a lot more than beautiful.

“There.” Maria grinned. “What else could you ask for? I’ve never seen a man so madly in love. I cannot forget how distraught he looked, when he discovered you’d left without telling him. I remember it very clearly.”

“I…left him?” Naina echoed.

“Yes. You quarreled or had a misunderstanding of some kind. Didn’t he tell you?” Maria spoke casually while reaching for her satchel.

“No he hasn’t.” Naina murmured softly. She could sense her unrest returning.

Maria pulled a large manila envelope from her bag and handed it over. “These are yours. Your laptop and camera were stolen I was told, but not the prints fortunately.”

Naina removed the contents of the envelope with trepidation. Her hands started to shake just a little.

It was a magazine along with a few other things. She glanced at the cover. It featured the picture of a girl. A young girl in a plain brown kaftan, standing in the middle of a mud caked street, surrounded by filth and garbage, smiling at the camera, her grey green eyes startling in their beauty.

Naina’s breath hitched in her throat and a tension rapidly expanded inside her chest, locking it. She doubled over, clutching her twisting stomach and broke out into a cold sweat.

Her friend grabbed her shoulders. “Naina! What happened? Are you okay?”

“That girl! I know her! I know her, Maria. Her name’s Zeenat!” Naina gasped as food rushed back up to her throat forcing her to retch, then throw up all over the beautiful carpet. She began shivering uncontrollably, her face turning into a haunted mask as terrifying images from a day long past swam in front of her eyes.

Maria embraced her and held her tight. “Yes, you’re right. Zeenat. You saved her from the blast.”

***

Later that afternoon Naina sat amidst her spoils, with the pictures of Kabul she’d taken spread around her. They told the story of her fateful journey very well, yet strangely she felt no regrets.

“Thank god you’re okay,” she said, picking up one of Zeenat’s pictures. “I’ll talk to you soon. I promise.” She caressed the image before setting it aside, then turned to inspect the remaining contents of the envelope. There was a journal with some random notes; a rough draft of the article she had begun to write; a few trinkets, and an unopened letter addressed to her from Rihaan.

Her hands were now shaking uncontrollably. The past had started to unravel in her brain; the images flickering rapidly like a stop motion movie with several of them featuring Rihaan, a very different Rihaan. She was hesitant to press the pause button and examine the scenes fearing what she might see.