The Accidental Life of Jessie Jefferson (28 page)

Jack shakes his head at me, and I sense he’s conflicted.

‘How long have you and Eve been an item?’ I ask outright.

‘We’re not. I mean, we sort of are. On and off,’ he tries to explain, but I don’t think I want to know.

‘Well, good luck with that,’ I say bitterly, turning away.

‘Jessie!’ He grabs my hand and wrenches me back, pulling me to him so that my fist is pressed hard against his chest. Then his eyes narrow. ‘You haven’t been honest with me either, have you?’

I don’t say anything, so he pulls me closer. ‘You’re not the nanny, right?’ he says in my ear. He pulls back only to give me a look, and from my expression, he’ll know he’s guessed right. And then he leans in and says, ‘And I bet you’re older than fifteen, too.’

I pull away, confused. What is he saying? He glances towards Johnny with a dirty look on his face, and then I get it. He thinks I’m with Johnny.
With
Johnny.

‘Urgh!’ I shove him in his chest. ‘You moron!’ I shove him again, to his surprise. ‘He’s
MY DAD
!’

The look on his face is one of pure shock. I don’t care. How dare he think that about me!

‘You stupid dickhead!’ I shout, just to ram it home. I glare at Johnny to see him looking bizarrely impressed, and then I turn and storm out of there, feeling safe in the knowledge that my newly protective dad is close behind.

Chapter 25

My head is reeling that night, and the next morning I don’t want to eat anything. I’m so cross with myself for falling for Jack – and so quickly! But more than anything I feel crushed. I really, really liked him. And I was stupid enough to think that he liked me, too.

‘The press release is going out tomorrow morning,’ Annie tells me around lunchtime. ‘Just in time for the weekend papers. So if you want to tell your friends and family before it breaks, you’d better do it today.’

I can’t believe it is finally happening! But I don’t have any family to tell, only friends. I’ve never been particularly close to Stu’s parents, and Mum’s parents were equally useless, as grandparents go. The only family I have is Stu and he already knows.

I wonder if Johnny has told his dad. I go outside to find him. He’s sitting on a sunlounger, scribbling on a notepad. He’s wearing dark sunnies and swimming trunks, and his tanned torso is decorated with tattoos that I still don’t know the meaning of. It’s kind of cool that my dad is considered hot by so many women. Although the thought of someone my age fancying him, like Natalie or Em . . . Yuck.

‘Annie says the press release is ready to go out. Have you told your dad?’ I ask him.

‘I called him this morning, actually,’ he reveals.

‘Really? What did he say?’

He stares up at me, but I can’t see his eyes behind his dark glasses. ‘He wasn’t that surprised.’

Oh. ‘Does he . . . Will he . . .’

‘You’ll meet him soon,’ he promises. ‘He wants to come over in September, so you’ll just miss each other, but maybe next time.’

‘Next time?’ I ask hopefully. We still haven’t discussed exactly when that might be or what’s going to happen when I finally go home.

He puts his pad down. ‘You know Stuart really wants you to finish your GCSEs. And he’s right. So get through this year in the UK and then we’ll see, OK? In the meantime, you can come back for holidays if you want.’

‘That would be great!’ Happiness sweeps some of my anguish about Jack away.

He smiles up at me, then takes off his glasses and his green eyes are concerned. ‘You feeling alright today? After last night, I mean.’

I shrug, feeling downcast again. ‘I’ll be fine.’

‘Don’t let him get to you,’ he says seriously, glancing at his notepad.

‘You writing a song?’ I ask.

‘Yeah. Do you write?’

His question catches me off guard. The truth is, I do. I always have. But I’ve never told anyone about it apart from Mum. ‘A little,’ I find myself admitting. ‘Only poetry and stuff, not songs.’

‘Songs are poetry put to music,’ he replies with a smile. ‘If you ever want me to look at anything you’ve written, just give me a shout.’

‘Thanks,’ I say, knowing full well that I never will.

I turn to go back inside. ‘Jess,’ he calls me back. ‘We need to talk about a few more things before you go home. Stuart said he was sure you’d want to stay at the same school?’

I frown. ‘Yes?’ Of course I don’t want to change schools. What’s he going on about?

‘OK, well, I’ve got someone looking into security, which I understand might be a bit weird for you at first, but it’s necessary.’

‘What are you going on about?’ I ask the previously unspoken question.

He looks confused. ‘Obviously you’re going to need a bodyguard.’

I laugh out loud. He’s joking, right? A bodyguard following me to school? Hanging around me all day when I’m at work or going shopping or chilling out with my friends? That’s ridiculous! What would everyone say? I stare at his face. Shit. He doesn’t look like he’s joking. ‘I don’t want a bodyguard,’ I say, as panic rises up inside me.

‘But Jessie,’ he argues. ‘You don’t have a choice. As soon as this news comes out, the paparazzi will be after you. You might even be a kidnap threat. I want you to move to a more secure house, too. I mentioned it to Stuart, although I know he has reservations about me helping financially.’

‘What? You’ve talked to Stuart about moving?’

‘Yeah, and I get that he doesn’t want me waving my wallet around, but that’s tough. I need you safe.’

‘No way,’ I say fervently, backing away from him. ‘No bloody way. I am not moving.’

Johnny looks shocked as he gets to his feet. ‘You can’t stay where you are,’ he says cautiously, taking a step towards me. ‘It’s not safe. Wendel has checked it out and you won’t be secure—’

‘I am
not
moving!’ I blurt out, my bottom lip wobbling. ‘That was my mum’s house! I grew up there! She’s still there, in every room, and I’m
not leaving her
!’ I’m practically yelling now. Johnny’s face drains of blood as I run into the house and up to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

What the hell? I can’t move! I
won’t
! The little spare room in our house is still full of all of her things: her clothes, her makeup, her jewellery. Neither Stu nor I have had the guts to go through any of it – we just put it all in the room and shut the door. But I go in there sometimes. Sometimes, when I need to be near her. And it smells of her. The room, her
clothes
, even the house still smells of her! I’m not leaving her behind. No way. No frigging way. I burst into tears and bury my face in my pillow.

Ten minutes later there’s a knock at my door. It’s Johnny.

‘Hey, chick,’ he says wearily. ‘Can I come in?’

I don’t respond, but I know he’s there. The bed dips at the end as he sits down. He sighs heavily and I risk a glance at him. He’s facing away from me, hunched over in a defeated sort of pose.

‘I need to talk to you,’ he says in a voice thick with emotion. I sniff my response and he looks over his shoulder to see that I’ve emerged from underneath my tear-sodden pillow. He looks concerned. He looks exhausted.

‘Are you ready for this?’ he asks.

‘Ready for what?’

‘Ready to be my daughter?’

My heart jumps. Does he want me to forget about him? Has he had enough of me? Doesn’t he want me to be a part of his life any more? Am I too much trouble? All of these thoughts rush through my head at once.

‘What are you saying?’ I ask waveringly. ‘Don’t you want me to be here any more?’

His face falls. ‘Of course I do!’ he exclaims. ‘This . . .’ He motions to the two of us. ‘You and me, we’re good, right? Nothing is going to change that. I’m talking about them,’ he points out the window, ‘out there. Are you ready for everyone else to know that you’re my daughter?’

I bite my lip, tears springing into my eyes again. ‘I don’t know,’ I admit. I thought I was, but I don’t think I’ve actually considered the reality of how much my life – and even Stu’s – will change.

‘Because we don’t have to do this. We don’t have to put out that press release. That’s the reason we’ve been holding off. We wanted to give you time to get used to the idea of not being who you are any more. But I don’t know if you’re ready.’

So he has been keeping the truth about me quiet for my benefit, not his. What else did he just say?
Not being who you are any more
. It sounds strange, but I think I understand what he means. I was just little Jessie Pickerill before. A nobody. But soon the world will think of me as Jessie
Jefferson
, and I’ll be considered a whole different person.

‘But I’ve already told some people. I’ve told Jack.’ It hurts to say his name out loud. ‘And what about my friends back home?’ I wanted them to read about me in the papers. Wanted to prove them wrong in the biggest and brightest way possible. It sounds petty, but it’s true.

‘You can still confide in them,’ Johnny says. ‘If you trust them,’ he adds. ‘And despite him acting like a little prick last night, I’m sure Jack Mitchell can be trusted with a secret or two. He’s certainly had to deal with a bit, with his dad,’ Johnny says drily, but my heart flutters at his words. I don’t want to think about why. I don’t want to still care about him, not after seeing him with Eve. I try to put him out of my mind and focus on the immediate conversation.

‘What I would
like
to do,’ he says, ‘what I’ve just been talking to Meg and Annie about . . .’ I sit more upright and give him my full attention. ‘ . . .is put out a press release telling everyone that I have a daughter, but that she’d like to remain anonymous because she’s still at school. That way you can stay at your school, in your house. We’ll have to put it out quick – I’m thinking now, today – because pictures of you and me at the bar last night could spring up at any point and then there’s no clawing back the story. There are already rumours online,’ he says with disgust. Urgh, God! Do other people think the same as Jack? That I’m his bit on the side? That’s revolting!

‘No one has posted any pictures on the internet yet. Luckily we have Wendel on the case, and because of your age, because of your request for anonymity, if we send out the release now, we should be able to stop anything going to print if there are photos from last night out there. The press owe me a few favours, anyway.’ I try to take all of this in. ‘You can still come clean to your friends,’ he continues. ‘
If
you trust them,’ he adds again, flashing me a significant look. ‘But everyone else will be ignorant, including – hopefully – anyone who might be a threat to your security. No one would expect my daughter to be living where you are, so it’s a pretty good smokescreen. Even if someone recognises your face from a blurry internet shot, it’s unlikely they’ll put two and two together. Sorry,’ he says, seeing the defiant look on my face from what he said about my home. ‘But it’s true,’ he says gently. ‘I still don’t like it, but I understand. I know you’re not ready to leave yet. When you are, we’ll talk again.’

I nod, and immediately afterwards want to cry again, this time with relief more than anything else.

I can’t believe Tom texted me last night. I still haven’t texted him back, but I will. I wonder if he is one of the ‘friends’ that I’ll be telling the truth to? First things first: I ring Natalie.

‘Hi!’ she exclaims when she answers.

‘Hi!’

‘I thought you were going to call me earlier?’ she says. I’d forgotten I said I would when I texted her from the limo. ‘I was going to go and get ready for bed in a minute,’ she adds.

‘Sorry. It’s been a bit hectic here.’ It went through my mind to call her last night when I got back from the gig, but my head was all over the place, and after the way she reacted when I told her about Johnny, I still wasn’t sure I wanted to confide in her.

‘Where are you?’ she asks.

‘Still in LA.’

‘When are you coming back?’

‘A week on Sunday,’ I reply.

‘So are you going to tell me what’s going on? You’re with your real dad?’ She sounds a little detached. I suppose she feels like I’ve shunned her by barely seeing her before I went away, and then disappearing for weeks. I can’t blame her.

‘Yeah,’ I say slowly.

‘Wow. That’s mental.’

I hesitate. ‘You know what I said about Johnny Jefferson?’

‘Yeah,’ she replies carefully.

‘Well, it’s true.’

I hear her snort. She doesn’t sound very amused. ‘Have a look online,’ I say calmly. ‘We’re putting out a press release today so the news that Johnny has a daughter will be up there soon. But we’re not telling anyone that it’s me. We’re going to try and keep my identity a secret.’

Silence.

‘Natalie? I mean it. You can’t tell anyone who I am. I want to remain anonymous.’

More silence, then, ‘This is getting a bit beyond a joke, Jess.’

I take a deep breath, and I can’t help but sound angry when I speak. ‘How would I know that there’s going to be a press release put out about Johnny Jefferson’s fifteen-year-old daughter who wants to remain anonymous because she’s still at school? Hey? Why else would I be in LA for God’s sake?’

She doesn’t answer.

‘Call me back when it hits the news,’ I say, and then I hang up.

Bloody hell. Next I ring Libby.

‘Hey!’ she exclaims as warmth rushes through me. It’s good to hear her voice. ‘I got your message about your new number. I’ve been meaning to text you.’

Then why didn’t she? Probably because she still hasn’t forgiven me for treating her the way I did.

‘I would have called you sooner, but it’s been a bit full-on here and—’ My voice cuts off as I hear a girl speaking in the background.

‘Hang on a sec,’ Libby says, and the line is muffled while she covers the receiver. She comes back on the line. ‘Sorry, I’m staying over at Amanda’s,’ she says casually.

‘Oh, right.’ This revelation should hardly be surprising, let alone hurt me, but hurt it does. Has Libby spent every day of her summer holidays getting closer to Amanda, having sleepovers and living in each other’s pockets, like she used to do with me? I wonder if she misses me, even a little bit? I press on, because this needs to be said. ‘I just wanted to tell you that that secret I told you about, you know, the one you’re not allowed to repeat to anybody?’