Read Tequila Mockingbird Online

Authors: Tim Federle

Tequila Mockingbird

T
EQUILA
M
OCKINGBIRD

COCKTAILS
with a
LITERARY TWIST

TIM FEDERLE

ILLUSTRATED BY

LAUREN MORTIMER

Disclaimer: Please drink responsibly. This book is intended for people 21 years and over who know the difference between Beverly Cleary and Judy Blume.

© 2013 by Tim Federle

Illustrations © 2013 by Lauren Mortimer

Published by Running Press,

A Member of the Perseus Books Group

All rights reserved under the Pan-American and

International Copyright Conventions

This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher.

Books published by Running Press are available at special discounts for bulk purchases in the United States by corporations, institutions, and other organizations. For more information, please contact the Special Markets Department at the Perseus Books Group, 2300 Chestnut Street, Suite 200, Philadelphia, PA 19103, or call (800) 810-4145, ext. 5000, or e-mail
[email protected]
.

ISBN 978-0-7624-4865-4

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012944541

E-book ISBN 978-0-7624-4876-0

987654321

Digit on the right indicates the number of this printing

Design by Joshua McDonnell

Edited by Jordana Tusman

Typography: Accanthis, Bembo, and Copperplate

Running Press Book Publishers

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Philadelphia, PA 19103-4371

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For Brenda Bowen—worth her weight in Cuervo Gold

CONTENTS

Introduction

Tools

Glassware

Equipment

Techniques

Making a Drink

Decorating a Drink

Terms

Spirits

Liqueurs

Beer

Wine

Other Flavorings

Part 1

Drinks for Dames

One Flew Over the Cosmo's Nest

Ethan Pom

Rye and Prejudice

Love in the Time of Kahlúa

Brave New Swirled

A Cocktail of Two Cities

The Cooler Purple

Frangelico and Zooey

Bloody Carrie

Howards Blend

Gin Eyre

Paradise Sauced

The Joy of Sex on the Beach

A Midsummer Night's Beam

The Postman Always Brings Ice

Remembrance of Things Pabst

Bridget Jones's Daiquiri

Romeo and Julep

The S(ide)carlet Letter

A Rum of One's Own

Tequila Mockingbird

The Yellow Wallbanger

The Unbearable Lightness of Peeing

Are You There God? It's Me, Margarita

The Turn of the Screwdriver

Part 2

Gulps for Guys

Crime and Punish-mint

Decline and Fall Down

Drankenstein

Huckleberry Sin

Absinthe Shrugged

The Count of Monte Cristal

Moby-Drink

Gulp-iver's Travels

A Confederacy of Ounces

The Last of the Mojitos

The Lime of the Ancient Mariner

Lord of the Mai-Tais

Infinite Zest

Heart of Dark Mist

The Moonshine and Sixpence

A Farewell to Amaretto

One Hundred Beers of Solitude

Orange Julius Caesar

Vermouth the Bell Tolls

Silas Marnier

The Old Man and the Seagram's

The Malted Falcon

Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea Breeze

Lord Pimm

The Sound and the Slurry

Part 3

Bevvies for Book Clubs

Fahrenheit 151

Gone with the Wine

The Rye in the Catcher

The Adventures of Sherbet Holmes

The Pitcher of Dorian Grey Goose

The Portrait of a Pink Lady

The Joy Luck Club Soda

Part 4

Refreshments for Recovering Readers

Charlie and the Chocolate Fake-tini

Pear the Wild Things Are

The Phantom Tolljuice

Rip Van Drinkle

Cherry Poppins

White Tang

Pat the Tummy

The Wonderful Blizzard of Oz

Part 5

Bar Bites for Book Hounds

Alice's Adventures in Wonder Bread

The Deviled Egg Wears Prada

Olives 'n' Twist

Fear of Frying

I Know This Munch Is True

Pizza and Wendy

Berry Potter

Prawn Quixote

Bonus!

Games for Geeks

Drinking All by Your Lonesome

Drinking with Friends

Formulas for Metric Conversions

Acknowledgments

Index

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