Instead, what I got broke my heart clean in two.
Jaime lay on the couch, curled up into a ball, her puffy eyes closed. Her nose was pink, her cheeks blotchy. She only looked like that when she’d ugly cried.
Quietly, I made my way to the couch and sat at the end, taking her feet and placing them in my lap. She shifted to get more comfortable, but she was out cold. She’d been sleeping a lot these last few days. At odd moments, she’d just drift to sleep, usually the second she’d sit down.
I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, but at some point, Ellen came up and made us tea, saying nothing.
After she’d finished hers, she got up and went to her room, leaving Jaime and me alone.
I’m going to be a father.
It was bloody mind-blowing. I’d never let myself truly want children because I’d always believed I couldn’t have them. Now that I knew it was not only possible, but it was also fucking happening…I was ecstatic. I wanted this baby more than anything.
“Ricki?”
I looked over to see Jaime was awake. “Hey, Doll.”
She huffed in irritation. “What are you doing here?”
“I needed to be with my wife. You fucking laid me out.”
She glanced at the clock hanging on Ellen’s wall. “Did you just get here?”
It was nearly one in the morning. “No. I went to the hospice when I woke up—”
“Oh my God, are you okay?”
“My fucking face hurts, and the doctor gave me a few pills, so I can eat whenever I get around to doing that, but my sperm count is normal.”
“You went and had your sperm counted,” she reiterated.
“Not because I didn’t believe you. Trust me, the bloody punch knocked the sense into me. But I wanted to know, you know? And the doctor said for you to make an appointment soon to make sure everything is okay.”
“Sure,” she said, pulling her feet from my lap.
“Jaime…I’m sorry.”
“You should be.”
“I am. I’m begging you. Please, please forgive me.”
She sighed and closed her eyes. “You can be the biggest prick, Ricki. I was already shocked by it myself, and for you to accuse me of cheating…I mean,
really
. When would I have had the time to fucking meet someone else and have an affair? Or even a fucking fling? We work together, live together, do
everything
together.”
“I didn’t think. I just felt. And, fucking face it, what other conclusion should I have come to?”
“That
you
got me pregnant,” she snapped.
“At the time you told me, it would’ve been a miracle. But it’s not. My junk is in working order. But still…it
is
a miracle. A fucking amazing, awesome miracle, and I’m so sorry to have thought for even a fucking second that you could have been unfaithful.”
She nodded. “Your face hurts?”
“Like a bitch.”
“I guess I forgive you then. Wanna head home?”
“I want to get something to bloody eat. Are you up for that?”
“I’m pretty hungry.”
“Let’s grab some grub then. The café at headquarters is open. We’ll go there.”
Jaime reached out and took my hand, and desperately, I held hers in return. For a few seconds, we simply stared into each other’s eyes.
“You know, I suppose I can understand your reaction,” she said. “It didn’t even cross my mind that you’d think I’d cheated on you. I was so shocked and then so angry. I never should have hit you.”
“I deserved it,” I admitted. “After everything we’ve gone through together, that it even crossed me mind is fucked up.”
“Are we ready for this?”
“I doubt it,” I replied, unable to help my grin. “But I’m bloody chuffed.”
“That’s just because you found out you have sperm.”
Ellen’s old-lady cackle sounded through her bedroom door.
Ricki
Three Days Later
The Locals had an OB/GYN on call. Jaime had had me schedule the appointment, and here we were, with my wife lying back on the exam table and the doctor squirting blue goo on her stomach. It was just a sonogram to listen to the baby’s heartbeat, but I was nearly bursting with my excitement.
“Ready?” the doctor asked.
She was a nice woman. With Jaime quitting the drink and smokes, the doctor assured us there was probably no damage done. The night we’d found out, fought, and made up, I’d promised Jaime I was quitting smoking, and I hadn’t touched a cigarette in three days.
I was in a bit of hell with that. I was jonesing something
awful
. But, if my wife could do it, so could I.
“Ready,” replied Jaime.
She reached out her hand, and I took it, squeezing.
The bulbous wand moved around her belly for a few seconds until we heard it.
Thump-swish. Thump-swish.
My eyes watered, and I scratched my beard for something to do besides bawl like a twat.
“Good, strong heart,” said the doctor.
Jaime let out a loud breath.
The doctor moved the wand around, this time stopping on the other side of Jaime’s belly.
Thump-swish. Thump-swish.
The woman’s face broke into a huge smile. “And so is that one.”
What?
“Come again?” I croaked.
“Seems like you’re having twins.”
“Oh
God
…” groaned Jaime.
“Twins?” I echoed faintly.
“With very healthy heartbeats,” said the doctor. “Let’s go ahead and schedule an ultrasound…”
Stunned, Jaime and I went through the motions until we were able to leave the Locals’ hospice. In silence, we made our way through the streets of De Jordaan in the Mini, pulling up in front of Inkwell.
“Ricki?”
“Yeah, Dollface?”
“How the fuck did you go from having no sperm to super sperm?”
“I don’t know.”
After a huge celebration dinner at King’s Buffet, we were slowly getting used to the idea of having twins. Lilla and Ronen were bloody thrilled that they weren’t going to be the only parents in our clique anymore. Oliver had kept giving Xanthe looks of longing throughout dinner until she’d told him to knock it off with the use of her middle finger.
Jaime and I headed home where she immediately crashed on the couch. I was getting ready to settle down for some telly when my phone rang, showing Deo’s number on the screen.
“Hey, mate,” I answered.
“Hey. So, twins, huh?” Deo asked. He sounded quite happy.
“Yeah.” I chuckled. “It’s a bit of a shocker.”
“No doubt. Congratulations.”
“Thanks, mate.”
“Listen…I hate to congratulate you and then turn around and demand you for a mission, but…”
“What sort of mission?” I asked, perking up at the thought.
“I already called Ronen to see what he can dig up on this girl I’m seeing.”
“Opie?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Have you spoken to Xanthe?”
“No,” he replied. “I’m sure she knows though. I’m, uh…trying to cut that cord, you know? I promised someone I’d give Opie my all, and that’s what I’m doing. It feels good, too.”
“Yeah. Opie called Xanthe to ask if Xanthe would mind if she went out with you.”
“What did Xanthe say?” he asked.
There was nothing but curiosity in his voice. No lingering sense of hurt, and I was relieved. Deo, more than anyone, deserved some bloody happiness.
“Well, Opie is still seeing you, yeah?”
“Yes.”
“There’s your answer. Are you over Xanthe?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” Even though I had the feeling he truly was, having him confirm it made me feel better.
“She’s really happy with Ollie,” he stated.
“Is it weird?” I asked.
“Not anymore,” he replied.
“How do you feel about Opie?”
“She, ah…” The unadulterated joy in his voice had me grinning. “She’s got me by the balls, mate. Now, back to the conversation at hand. I need you, Ronen, and Rex to fly your arses out here and help me with this shite. David asked for you personally. Has Ronen told you anything?”
“He’s told me everything. Deo, your woman went through some heinous shit.”
“You think I don’t know?” he snapped.
I could tell his feelings for Opie ran deep, and the thought of her suffering as she had was bloody painful for him.
“I need you guys to bring your equipment, too.”
“That’s not a problem,” I said. I was thinking though that I was practically banished from England. It had been so long. I wasn’t too sure if I
should
go even though the thought of leaving Deo hanging put a foul taste in my mouth.
“Then, what is?” he asked.
“Deo…”
“Yeah?”
“I haven’t stepped foot on British soil in almost fifteen years.”
“Then, it’s time, brother. The Locals know, which means Max has to know, and he hasn’t gotten in touch with me to say no.”
“Yeah, man. You know I’m there for you. You’ve always been there for me, for all of us. We’ll come. Oh, and we got a new guy on our team.”
“Oh, yeah? Who?”
The smile stretching my mouth felt full-on evil. “It’s Ollie.”
“No shit,” he grumped.
“Talk to you later,” I said before hanging up.
Jaime giggled.
Smiling, I glanced at her. “You’re awake?”
“Barely. Did you seriously just tell Deo about Ollie?”
“I did.”
“Is he really going to go on missions with you guys?”
“Yeah, but he won’t be doing what we do. His talent is more intel and surveillance.”
Oliver had been officially inducted into the Locals the day Jaime found out she was pregnant. That Monday hadn’t been about just getting paperwork done. Oliver had joined our team.
“Good. I can’t picture him as a killer.”
I didn’t want to picture Oliver as a killer. I knew the man had it in him, especially if it came down to the people he loved. But I knew what my wife was saying. To tarnish that part of Oliver Fairfax would be sacrilegious.
Ollie was the light, as Jaime was the light, as Lilla was the light, as Trey was the light, and possibly Opie as well.
We needed them, if for nothing else than to show us the way back home.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me while I make my dreams a reality.
The author community is filled with people who are more than happy to help anyone who needs it. Without my fellow authors, the wonderful bloggers—who tirelessly read, review, and promote—and readers, I wouldn’t be here today. Thank you so much. I am honored to have you all in my life.
To Jovana, whom I strive to impress with my improving grammar skills with each book I write, you make my books shine like gems.
To my amazing street team, thank you for loving my words and for wanting to help spread them far and wide.
To my fellow COPAs, your insight, your encouragement, and your love for what we all do just humbles the shit out of me. Thank you for always being there.
To Em, who has been with me since I first put words into a computer with the intent of creating a novel. Thank you for believing in me.
And to Jaime, the original Bro Dawg, this one is all you.