Ten Thousand Lies (18 page)

“That’s a brilliant idea. We should let the Locals know.”

“I just wonder how it’s going to be when new ones show up.”

“The guys haven’t gotten another mission yet, but when they do, Ellen will have more people to house. We’ll get the feel for it then.”

“True.”

I felt bad though. Xanthe had spent the last two years helping someone overcome personal tragedy while I had worked in a tattoo shop, waiting for the day I could escape. I could have helped unfortunates back in Jersey. I could’ve given my time to helping rape victims or even people with HIV/AIDS. I had the education to do something, and instead, I’d wasted it piercing. I’d lived with Ulla for weeks, I had known of her suffering, and I had done…nothing.

“What are you thinking about?” Xanthe’s voice penetrated my brain.

“Ulla,” I replied.

Behind her glasses, Xanthe’s eyes shimmered. “Yeah. I think about her from time to time, too.”

“For the longest time, I’ve felt so sorry for myself, Xanthe. I missed you and Rex and David and Ellen so much. I hated my own life back in Jersey, to the point I was mostly miserable,” I said, thinking,
Well, not when I had Ricki to talk to.
“Yet…what did I have to be miserable about? I knew it was only a matter of time before I joined up with you. I should have done something for the people in my community while I could.”

“You can’t think of it that way, Jaime. It’s not like I was here this whole time, dedicating my life to the less fortunate.”

“I could have helped,” I said quietly as we stood on the front stoop. “I could’ve volunteered—”

“You were barely scraping by as it was, living in a house with two other blokes. You haven’t had it easy. We can’t be expected to help other people if we can barely live ourselves.”

“I think I feel guilty because I met Ulla. I lived with her, saw what she went through, and still…I haven’t done anything since she died.”

“You were trying to survive, Jaime.”

Then, why do I feel like such a fucking failure?

After our curry dinners, Xanthe and I headed home. I was ready to throw my pillow and blanket on the floor in my bedroom because that damn Army cot was a literal pain in the ass and just pass the hell out. Xanthe had made me feel better with how I’d spent the last four years of my life, and for the moment, I was content.

We entered the house to find Rex, Ronen, and Ricki sitting on the couch, watching TV and drinking beer. All three of them turned eyes on us as we came in.

“Well, I’m gonna head home,” said Ricki, chugging his beer.

“Me, too,” stated Ronen, which surprised me.

I felt wounded as humiliation surged from behind my sternum, spreading and burning away any traces of my complacent attitude. My cheeks went nuclear. Xanthe might have believed these fuckers were nice and friendly, and maybe with her, they were. But, fucking hell, I didn’t need this shit.

“Don’t bother,” I snapped, fighting tears. The
fuck
I would cry in front of any of them. “I’ll just remove myself.”

“Jaime—” said Xanthe.

I swore, I heard pity.

“Fuck this shit!” I raged as I pounded my way up the stairs. “I should’ve stayed in Jersey where I at least had people who fucking
liked
my ass!”

Praying to God they hadn’t heard the sob busting out of me, I wrenched open my bedroom door to find my Army surplus cot and plastic utility drawers were gone. In their place was a queen-size bed in a dark wooden frame with a matching nightstand and dresser.

“Holy sh…”

Now, I was humiliated for a whole other reason. Xanthe hadn’t wanted to spend alone time with me. Well, I was sure she had, but it had come about because the guys were here, on their day off, giving me the nicest bedroom furniture I’d ever had.

“Jaime?”

Smooth, deep, and warm, Ricki’s voice caressed over my back.

Sniffling, I swiped my hand across my eyes. “Yeah?”

Fingertips touched my palm before his large hand enclosed mine. Shocked, I turned watery eyes on him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make you feel welcome. I just…I’m not good with this sort of shite. I like you. You have to know that.”

Nodding, my voice strangled out a weak, “Okay.”

Then, I was hugging him and bawling my eyes out, like a head case, on his shoulder. Ricki didn’t pull away though. After a few seconds, his arms went around my back, and he pulled me in tight, just letting me pour out my stress and self-loathing in his arms.

Smoothing a hand down my back, he breathed in deep. “I should have gone to the airport and picked you up, Jaime. This hug was a long time coming.”

I nodded against his shoulder.

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” I whispered. Pulling back, I looked into his eyes. “Thanks for this. I’m sorry I…” I flapped my hand through the air, hoping that explained that I regretted my earlier outburst.

He shyly smiled through his beard. “No worries. And you’re welcome.”

“Who paid for it?” I asked.

His eyes narrowed, and his smile vanished. “Does it matter? We wanted you to have a fucking bed.”

“I…” I swallowed, once again unnerved by his gaze. “Well, thank you.”

Abruptly, he turned on his heel and left me standing alone in the middle of my new bedroom. I knew then that he was the one who had bought the set.

I still wasn’t convinced he liked me though, confession and tender moment aside.

Ricki

Fully booked all week long, Ronen and I were having trouble keeping up. Rex had to be coerced into the shop to man the front because we were just that bloody busy. So, after having to work the late shift at Wurther’s last night, Rex was one cranky douche.

Making my way out from my station to the front of the shop, I went to see if my client had arrived and what it was I would be doing. Just as I sidled up next to Rex, who was playing solitaire on the computer, the front door opened, and the sight of Jaime traipsing in was like the sun making an appearance.

It had been four days since I’d seen her. After I’d stormed out of her room, I hadn’t had the bollocks to face her again. It had pissed me off that she felt like she had to pay anyone back for a fucking gift.

“Hey,” I said, a flush creeping up my neck. I bloody hated it. I felt like a fucking tosser.

China blue eyes met mine. “Hey,” she replied. Digging into a large purse slung across her chest, she pulled out an envelope. “Ellen asked me to deliver this.”

Tingles erupted throughout my body.
A mission.

Next to me, Rex straightened.

I took the envelope; it was thick. My gaze found hers again. “Did she tell you what it was?”

“No.”

“Did you look in it at all?”

Her face showed disgust now, and I found myself feeling disgusted with me, too.

“No,” she snapped. Her eyes shifted away from mine as she looked around the shop.

The disgusted look was still on her face, and glancing around, I could see why. It was a bit manky, dust and grime accumulating on the surfaces.

Ashamed, I turned and headed for my office with the envelope. Poking my head into Ronen’s station, I gave him a look and waved the package at him. He nodded, and I continued on my way. Unlocking the door, I slipped into my space, my vision zeroing in on the recent drawings I had done, taped to the wall above my drawing desk.

Jaime was all I saw when I was alone with my pencils and paper. Her face, her smile, her eyes. She was all I wanted to draw as I imagined a world where she was mine to touch and hold.

Locking the door behind me, I leaned back against it and slid down to the floor, closing my eyes, picturing her laughing. She hardly laughed around me. I didn’t give her any reason to. Even I knew I’d turned creepy around her, but I had no idea what else I should do.

She fucking terrified me.

Until Jaime, I hadn’t given any woman a second thought. Now, I spent all sorts of time fantasizing about Jaime, about how amazing it had felt to hold her while she cried in my arms four days ago. I wanted to do that again—well, without the crying bit.

My gaze found the most recent drawing. I’d done my best to capture her smiling and crying as she’d said thank you. That moment had seared itself in my mind, and I’d relive it over and over, desperate to keep the sensation of holding her in my memory.

I got up and tossed the envelope onto my desk before heading back out. She had to have left by now.

As I came down the corridor, I heard her laughter, and I had to stop and lean against the wall, simply allowing it to fill me. Such a gorgeous noise, it lifted me up as much as it gutted me. Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself off and headed toward the sound.

Standing in the archway, I watched as she and Rex laughed together at something on the computer screen. Taking a closer look, I saw it was a picture of a much younger Xanthe covered in mud, silently shrieking.

I cleared my throat, and they turned to look at me. Jaime’s face smoothed out, any trace of her humor wiped clean.

“I’ll get going then,” she said to Rex.

He sighed. “Yeah, all right.”

“Wait,” I said. “Um…”

She faced me and arched an eyebrow.

“We’re gonna need to open what Ellen sent over, and Ronen’s nearly finished. You…would you stay and man the front while we do?”

Her shoulders relaxed, and she nodded. “Sure. But…” She looked around the place. “I gotta ask, man.”

“What?”

“Are your stations this filthy? Because, if I were a fucking customer walking in here, I wouldn’t let you tattoo my ass, judging from the state of the front alone.”

My face blazed hot. To be honest, I wouldn’t want to move past the front to see if the workstations fared any better. “We constantly clean our stations,” I told Jaime. “But, by the end of the day, we’re too tired to tidy the front.”

She turned her hard stare onto Rex. “What’s your fucking excuse then?”

“What?”

“You just sit on your ass when they ask you to come in? These guys handed you a purpose and a home, and you can’t run a fucking mop on the floor when they fucking ask for help?”

Warmth and gratitude blew up in my chest. Jaime defending Ronen and me against Rex’s sloth was just so nice. Even when Rex had been on our payroll, he hadn’t bothered to clean, and I could see the embarrassment in his face for being called out on it.

Jaime turned back to me. “Are there more clients today?”

I glanced at my watch. “My last one is running late…” It wasn’t unheard of that customers didn’t show up.

“Well, there goes their deposit,” Jaime grumbled.

“What?”

“Their deposit for the tattoo?” she asked.

“Um…”

“You
don’t
take a deposit when clients book an appointment?”

My silence was my answer of guilt.

“You guys are fucking hopeless. You take a deposit, so if they don’t show up, your time isn’t completely wasted. They’re more likely to show up if they’ve already dropped money on the time. Don’t you know this?”

“No,” I confessed.

Huffing, she took one more look around. “Where are the cleaning supplies?”

“Uh…”

“Oh my God.
Seriously
?”

“I’ll run and get some,” said Rex hastily. “Gimme, like, twenty minutes. What do you need?”

“Everything,” Jaime snapped. “Mops, buckets, cleaning rags, sprays, floor soaps—”

“Okay, okay.”

Taking a wad of cash off me, Rex hurried out, leaving Jaime and me staring weirdly at each other.

“You don’t have to do this,” I mumbled, breaking eye contact with her.

“Someone has to,” she replied. “Besides, it’s not like I have much to do at the bookstore. I’m bored to tears over there.”

“Really?” Cogs started turning in my brain.

For a tattoo shop, we were pretty lame. We had a reputation around town for our outstanding work but not for anything else. We didn’t even offer piercing.

Lightbulb!

Before me stood not only the object of my intense desire, but also the fucking answer to improving our bloody shop. I’d have to run it by Ronen, but I didn’t think he’d object to having Jaime here every day. A feminine touch couldn’t hurt either.

Not to mention, she’d managed a damn tattoo shop.