“Where're you going?” Stephanie asked abruptly when she came out and saw me getting dressed.
“Going to talk to Chyanne.”
I pulled on my boxer briefs and a pair of sweats before pulling on a thick white T-shirt.
“What are you going to talk to her for?”
I didn't answer her until I walked out of the closet and had stepped into my shoes. “She's having the DNA test tomorrow.”
Standing as she talked with her hands, she shrugged. “So what does that have to do with you going to see her tonight?”
She was quickly annoying me. The attitude in her voice was like nails on a chalk board.
“So when do we talk about our marriage and what we're going to do about it?” She asked as she followed me to the bathroom, leaning against the post of the door as I washed my face.
In that moment, I felt as if we didn't do something about it soon, our living arrangement was only going to get worse. I had asked her to stay in New York when I moved down to Atlanta because I felt as if there was nothing left of our marriage to fix. I had washed my hands of the whole thing, but as time moved on and nostalgia set in, I had begun to miss her in a sense, or miss her familiarity. So, I started to accept her phone calls and I was surprised when we started having civilized conversations. Did that stop me from wanting Chyanne? No.
“What did you do to Chyanne today?” I asked, more so to let her know that I knew what she'd done and to get her to change the subject.
“What do you mean what did I do to her?”
We both had stopped what we were doing and were now looking at one another.
“Did you put your hands on her? Threaten to take her baby?”
I gave her a look that told her I wasn't in the mood for her bullshit. She huffed and gave a faux chuckle before looking at me as if I had grown horns out of my head.
“Excuse me? Are you really asking me about . . .” She chuckled again and stopped talking with a dramatic flair before continuing. “I don't get you! I don't understand you, Aric! What is it about this one that has you so up in arms?”
“What the hell does any of that have to do with you threatening my child or putting your hands on Chyanne for that matter?”
“I didn't threaten... that baby and all I did was push her down in the chair she had been sitting inâ”
“While she is carrying my baby, you keep your damn hands to yourself!”
The look she gave me was murderous. It's like my words had slapped her and she wanted to return the favor.
“You better make sure it's your baby,” she almost too calmly replied as I snatched my phone, keys, and wallet and placed them in the pocket of the sweats I had on.
I ignored her as I walked back into the bathroom and began brushing my teeth.
“I'm just saying Aric,” she continued. “After all I'm sure the guy she was eating lunch with probably thinks it's his baby too with the way he was defending her.”
She smirked when I stopped brushing my teeth long enough to spit and look at her. I finished up while she stood there and watched me. After a while her smirk turned into a full sneer. I finished and moved past her to make my way down the stairs. She followed at a slow pace. By the time I had gotten two bottles of water from the fridge and had grabbed an apple she was standing at the island in the kitchen with her hip pressed against it. I'd learned over the years that Stephanie was like a viper. As long as you didn't stare at it head on and get right in its face, it wouldn't strike; as long as I ignored her, she wouldn't keep talking. She hated to be ignored or told no.
“What is it about her, Aric? What is it about her that makes you disrespect your home the way you do or the woman that's been with you through everything?” She asked after she saw I was making my way to the door and I wasn't about to argue with her. “Answer me Aric! Don't ignore me!”
She was like a spoiled ass child and I wasn't in the mood to cater to her temper tantrum. Besides, my mind was on who the hell Chyanne was at lunch with. I had a good idea being that she claimed to have slept with only one other man.
“Aric!”
Stephanie yelled at me and pulled me from my thoughts. I looked at her . . . hard. Hoping that what I was feeling showed on my face. I really wanted her to leave me alone at that moment. Moving my keys around mindlessly in my pocket I was about at ready to punch something and she was getting on my damned nerves.
“What? What? What do you want? Why the fuck do you keep calling me? What do you want?” I had snapped that before I realized what I had done.
“Don't yell at me because you're mad that your bitch was with another man. Don't take that out on me,” she said using velar pronunciations and dramatics to point at me then back to her chest.
I threw a bottle of water against the wall out of anger. I didn't even know why I was angry or maybe I did. Maybe I was angry because Chyanne was out with another man. Maybe I was angry at the thought of her being with someone else. Maybe I was angry that the longer I stood there and listened to Stephanie bitch, the longer Chyanne could have been letting another motherfucker get what I wanted so badly. I hadn't been able to get inside of her like I'd wanted to for too damn long and I wanted that shit badly. The thought of Chyanne letting somebody else between her thighs had me overheated.
Stephanie chuckled and shook her head as she looked at the water slowly drizzling down the wall. “Is it like that now? You want to get to her that bad?” She asked and gave a fake chuckle again. “Do you even care how I feel about this whole thing? To know that my husband is the father of a baby that doesn't belong to us?” Tears fell down her face as she spoke.
“If I said I cared would that make you feel better? If I said I was sorry would that make you feel better? Because I don't care and I'm not sorry. You didn't want to give me a baby. You're the one who started this whole âI want a divorce' thing. So now, I found someone to give me what I want.”
“So you planned this?” Her eyes squinted and she looked as if I repulsed her.
“No, I didn't plan it, but what's done is done. I can't take that shit back. Chyanne is having my baby whether you like it or not and you will not put your hands on her again as long as she's carrying my seed. I won't say that shit again.”
She got in my face. “And what if I do Aric? What are you going to do? Whoop my ass?”
“Get out of my face Stephanie,” I told her as I pushed her off of me and backed away from her.
She knocked my hand away from her. “She really has some hold on you huh? What is it about this young ass girl that you can't shake? You claim not to love her,” she yelled as she continued, “yet she's special enough to make you treat me like I aint shit to you no more! You know how that makes me feel?”
Once again I had to push her out of my face. She fell and hit the floor hard, her hands flailing around wildly as she tried to grab a hold of the bar to break her fall. I hadn't meant to use that much force, but before I could try to apologize she was up. I knew what would happen next so I was prepared when she tried to slap me.
I grabbed both her wrists and shook her. “What is wrong with you?” I yelled at her. “Learn to keep your damn hands to yourself.” Her hair shook wildly around her face as she twisted and turned trying to get out of my grip. “Damn. Why do you always have to make me put my hands on you in order for you to get it? Keep your damn hands to yourself.”
“Fuck you Aric for taking us through this. You had to get that bitch pregnant,” she kicked, yelled, and screamed like a mad woman as tears fell down her face like rapid raindrops. “I hate you for this! I would have given you another baby,” she cried. “You didn't have to do this . . .”
I bent my head to look at her as I spoke. “Given me another baby? You already had your chance. That last life you took from me was the last chance you had. You want to make this out to be as simple as you giving me another child and you know as well as I do that there is more to it than that.” My tone was harsh, but for the life of me I needed her to understand that our time together had passed.
“But I love you Aric . . .”
“Sometimes love isn't enough. If you loving me all of these years has caused as much pain as we brought each other then I don't want it.”
“I'm ready now. The games, the lies, the hurt, the deceit . . . it's all done baby. I swear,” she cried with a begging tone in her voice.
“I hear you. I hear what you're saying, but it's not enough! I'm all burned out!”
She screamed at me. Used her knee to try and hurt me in the area that was aching to be inside of another woman just minutes before. She was hurting and I knew that, but staying together wouldn't make me feel any better and it definitely wouldn't make her happy. I kept my hold on her until she stopped moving and calmed down enough to lay her forehead on my chest. She cried silently as we both stood there. It was clear that we were no longer good for one another. I had no idea why she was trying to fight to hold on to something that had nothing left.
In that moment I realized over and over again why I had agreed to give her a divorce the last time she'd asked for one. I don't know her reasons for wanting one at the time, but I was at the point where I was tired of her throwing the possibility of a divorce in my face. I was just tired of her period! I would always have love for Stephanie, but we could no longer stay married to one another and remain sane. It was obvious. I finally let her wrists go and tried to move her away from me so I could leave.
She grabbed my shirt as she looked up at me. “Are you still having sex with her?”
“What?”
“Are you still having sex with her? Did you have sex with her the same night we had sex?”
Immediately my heart rate picked up. I didn't fathom she would ask that question. The fact that I'd come so close to having sex with Chyanne the same night that I had sex with her did cause me some kind of self-reproach. She was staring intently at me, searching my face for the truth before my mouth could tell her. I could have gone into detail about what happened, but that would start another fight. A fight I didn't feel like fighting. I forced her hands out of the fisted clench she had on my shirt. She let out a sound similar to a person taking their last breath.
“Oh . . . my God! You did, didn't you?” she asked as I took my keys from my pockets. “You fucked her and then came here to let me suck your dick afterwards. You let me suck her pussy off of you. You dirty son of a bitch.”
I didn't say anything as I continued to make my way to the door with her verbal insults being hurled at my back. As I cracked the door, I heard what sounded like a wounded cat and the next thing I felt was her nails in my neck as one of her open handed slaps beat me in the back of the head. I ducked my head at the onslaught of her attack and wrapped my mind around the fact that she was, once again, physically attacking me. I slammed the door so hard and fast the glass threatened to break.
When I turned to face her I'm sure my face held silent, deadly rage. I could tell because of the way her eyes widened and she stumbled back trying to get away from me. I don't know what ire my face held but it was enough to make her scream as I reached out and grabbed her throat. Before I could stop myself, her feet had left the floor, and she went flying against the wall. I'd thrown her so hard that she fell with enough force to knock the wind out of her. All I saw was a blurred vision of her face and blotches of red as she tried to make a swift movement away from me.
“I'm sorry Aric,” she yelled as she swung her fists wildly and used her feet as a defense mechanism to get away from me.
I snatched her legs to bring her back to me, used her throat to pick her up from the floor, and slammed her against the wall again. Only this time, I didn't release her. The tip of her toes scraped the floor and her eyes watered as her nails dug into my hands and wrist. After that defense didn't work, she went for my face. She slapped, punched, and tried to scratch her way out of the hold I had on her neck.
I slammed her head into the wall. “How many times have I asked you to stop putting your hands on me?” I asked as I yelled in her face. Spittle from my mouth landed on her face in a flurry as I slammed her head into the wall again and again. “Stop fucking putting your hands on me!”
“I'm sorry.... I'm sorry.... I can't breathe... Aric . . . I can't . . .”
Before she passed out I let her limp body fall to the floor. I caught myself just in time. I'd told her ass over and over to stop putting her hands on me. Why she couldn't adhere to that, I didn't know. I left her there, on the floor in fetal position, clutching her neck, and crying.
By the time I'd made it to Chyanne's house, it was after Gabe and I had downed a few shots of Trago Tequila and a few shots of Don Julio too. Gabe had a few warning shots for me after I told him what had happened between me and Stephanie. I expected him too. He's her brother, even though she treated him like he wasn't shit, he still had her back to a certain extent. I was tipsy enough to let him do it and get away with it. Had too much shit on my mind. Like what I had done to my wife. I was so pissed that I'd gotten a ticket for doing ninety in a fifty-five-miles-per-hour zone. Stephanie had pissed me off that badly; so pissed that I sat in my garage and beat the hell out of my steering wheel for a good minute or two because of what I had done to her. I wished like hell she wouldn't make me put my hands on her. I didn't want to but she insisted on pushing me to my limit! I could only take so much and no matter how many times I had told her that, she still didn't get it.