Good girl? I’m not a fucking dog
.
I don’t want a
pat on the head from Jake fucking Hogan
.
He wasn’t patting her on the head though. He was taking her
shirt off and, god help her, she didn’t move a muscle. Not to stop, not to
assist. It was as though he’d cast a spell on her. Tess told herself she wanted
to move, that she didn’t want Jake to think he was actually in control here.
But she just…didn’t move. Maybe she’d move later. She would
think about
why
later. Afterward. When she wasn’t quite so lightheaded
with lust, and with how much she wanted this.
Her shirt came off, unbuttoned and pulled down her arms by
unseen hands, leaving her standing there in a bra and jeans. And then in just
the jeans. He moved around in front of her again, letting her black-lace
demi-bra dangle from one finger and appraising her breasts frankly.
“Nice.”
Her moment of automatic vanity was short-lived, followed by
faint consternation as his examination took a more practical turn. Pitching the
bra to one side, Jake plumped both of her breasts and squeezed them together,
viewing the resulting arrangement with what seemed to be approval.
“Just big enough.”
She frowned again. Jake gave her a quick, tight smile and
dropped his hands to her jeans, unbuttoning and pushing them down her legs in a
series of jerks, working his way around to her back as he went. Her thong went
with them, and Tess’ pulse quickened as Jake felt his way back up her legs,
ending with his hands lightly skimming the bottom curves of her cheeks.
Naked. In Jake Hogan’s living room. Being inspected.
Whatever she’d imagined over the years, it had never looked quite like
this
.
“Kick them off the rest of the way, please.”
Once she had, she tried to bring her feet back together,
only to find Jake’s much larger, booted foot blocking her from doing so. When
she started to step away, his hand wrapped in her hair, holding her in place.
Not pulling but not letting go. She stopped, shivering again. Words bubbled up
and she clamped them down, determined not to break. She didn’t even realize how
fast she was breathing until Jake spoke again, almost whispering in her ear.
“Easy, Tess. I’ve got you. You’re not going anywhere.”
His breath was a brushfire on her dry-tinder nerves, setting
everything alight wherever it touched. Those few words melted her anxiety,
replacing it with a different tension altogether, and despite his admonition
not to move, Tess tilted her head into his hand, longing for more contact. Jake
let her come to rest against his shoulder, releasing her hair and reaching
around her. He stroked down her belly, pausing at the pubic hair she’d stopped
bothering to have waxed. Then down again, one finger curling inside her and
dipping in and out, in and out, in…and in.
He dropped a kiss on her shoulder, and Tess realized he
hadn’t kissed her on the lips yet, had only touched her breasts once in a
practical, almost perfunctory way. He had violated the time-honored order of
things by jumping straight to the part where his finger was fucking in and out
of her and she was letting him. Gone to third without bothering to round first
and barely tagging second on the way. She should feel horrified, offended by his
presumption. Shouldn’t she? Instead she felt soothed by the caress, even as it
aroused her to the point of insanity.
With his free hand, Jake pointed to the bookcase next to the
mantle. “You see the wildcat?” Tess noted the purple-and-white mascot, the familiar
Northwestern logo on a giant foam finger that rested on one shelf in front of
the books. She nodded, too distracted by what his hand was doing between her
legs to wonder why he wanted to discuss his alma mater all of a sudden. “If you
can’t take something I’m doing, if you need me to stop, if it hurts too much,
you picture that and you say ‘Wildcats’. Everything will stop and we’ll talk.
It won’t count against the dare either. Do you understand?”
She nodded.
Wildcats. Got it. Keep doing that with your
finger.
“But if we stop for that safeword, we stop for the night, so
make sure you’re absolutely certain before you go using it.” He slid his finger
out again, and Tess sighed in mounting frustration as he stepped away. “On the
other hand, if you keep going and take whatever I dish out, you’ll be rewarded
for it.”
He was walking around behind her again. Tess resisted the
urge to turn her head and watch when she heard him step out of the room. A few
seconds later, the heater clicked on and Jake was back. He had taken his shirt
off, revealing a body that was even better than it had been in high school.
Harder, a little hairier—and nothing boyish about it. He looked
finished
.
She could have spent hours gazing at the way his waist tapered, the symmetrical
muscles with that arrow of hair dividing his abs, begging her to scan lower.
His fingers under her chin prevented that. She met his eyes
instead. Those were like they’d always been. Fathomless blue, wiser than his
years.
I have a secret
, they said.
Are you finally ready to hear it?
Oh she was. She was more than ready.
There was a pause, thick with anticipation, and then Jake
swept down and latched his mouth onto hers.
Any hint of hesitation Tess might have harbored was gone in
an instant, wiped out by the intoxicating feel of Jake’s lips caressing hers,
the strength in his body as he pulled her into a tighter embrace, settling her
against his long frame from knee to shoulder.
Tess wasn’t sure at what point she’d wrapped her arms around
his neck. Possibly about the time he started building the kiss, nibbling her
lips open and slipping his tongue inside her mouth to explore more deeply. She
couldn’t help but respond. She felt like she’d been waiting her whole life for
this touch, this moment.
In the back of her mind the doubt tried to re-assert itself,
reminding her that this was Jake. The same Jake she had known all her life. The
Jake she had played touch football with in fourth grade, but avoided playing
with once she was old enough to know what boys were for. Jake, who knew far too
much about her to be safe. He could break her if he wanted to. But she couldn’t
stop.
When he finally pulled back, her first instinct was to
follow him, not let him re-create the distance between them even for a moment.
Her knees shook as the world slowly righted itself, and her lips buzzed faintly
from the brush of Jake’s afternoon stubble. Everything between those points
burned for more.
Jake brought one hand up to her cheek, tracing her cheekbone
from nose to temple before tenderly stroking a wayward strand of hair behind
her ear. He carried the motion down the side of her neck, letting his thumb
slide over so his fingers encircled her throat with a steady pressure. Not
squeezing, not choking, but definitely enough that Tess couldn’t ignore it.
Claiming. Those fingers spoke volumes, simply resting
against her windpipe.
Give me everything. Trust me even with this. Put your
life in my hands.
Tess panicked for a second, almost yanked her head away but
forced herself to stay still. She took a deep breath and released it slowly,
letting her shoulders relax, centering herself on the task of not resisting. An
acute wave of arousal rewarded her, but threw her even further off guard. He
was only touching her
neck
…and looking at her with obvious approval. As
the anxious tightness eased from her upper body, it reassembled itself into a
different kind of tension below, in the muscles of her lower abdomen and inner
thighs.
When he spoke again it was so prosaic, so ordinary, she was
startled. Then slightly amused.
“I just realized I need to call my dad and tell him I won’t
be in to the paper this afternoon either. This headache is killing me. It’ll
only take a minute.” He smiled then threw her for another loop. “Go upstairs
and wait for me. The master bedroom is the door on the left. Use the restroom
if you need to, then kneel on the floor next to the foot of the bed, facing the
door, and don’t move. Do you understand?”
She nodded. It was simple enough, though it seemed like a
big step. A test, maybe. Probably.
He lowered his hand to her breast, cupped it gently,
brushing her nipple with his thumb. “Good girl. Go on up.”
Because he was clearly waiting for her to do so, she headed
for the stairs, feeling ridiculous when she realized he hadn’t even kept watching
her once she started moving. He’d gone back into the kitchen, leaving her to
follow orders. Go upstairs and wait to be fucked. What did he think she was, a
hooker?
No, not that. She didn’t feel like that. Curiously, she
didn’t even feel particularly degraded or objectified, though she knew every
women’s studies professor she’d ever had would probably tell her she should.
That it simply
was
degrading and objectifying, whether she agreed with
that assessment or not.
Eh. Whatever. Screw them
.
They aren’t here
.
Chapter Five
Tess had showered that morning in Jake’s guest bathroom,
downstairs in his lavishly finished basement, so she hadn’t seen the master
bedroom. She half-expected to see a dungeon scene when she entered Jake’s room.
Instead she walked into an airy space with large windows that let in plenty of
afternoon sunlight. The bed was a big, modern four-poster with
industrial-looking metal canopy rails but no canopy. Jake had left the covers
in disarray, which made Tess smile. He obviously hadn’t been expecting company.
The nefarious cabinet was also there, looking like an
innocent piece of storage furniture against one wall, only the hasp and padlock
giving it away. Not wanting to dwell too much on that, she moved along to the
open bathroom door.
Jake had mentioned he was working his way up with the
restoration, and he hadn’t reached the top floor yet. His bathroom was so-so,
not decrepit but not as sleek as the kitchen or basement. It sported its
original claw-foot tub, small white hexagonal tiles on the floor, uninspired
pale-yellow paint on the walls. But it was clean and fairly tidy.
Unobjectionable. It smelled of Jake’s aftershave.
Tess shivered when she returned to the bedroom. From cold,
maybe, although the upstairs seemed warmer than the downstairs had and the
heater was clearly already working. Maybe it was anticipation, she wasn’t sure.
The idea of kneeling at the foot of the bed fired her up, and it bugged her
that she couldn’t figure out why. Why she was so turned-on in general by this
weird dynamic. But she was, and if she was going to give in and admit that to
herself, try exploring it instead of denying it, she supposed she should give
it her all. Half measures had never been her thing.
There was a thick rug under the bed that extended enough to
cover the hardwood floor for a few feet all around. Tess picked a spot by the
corner nearest the door, stared down at it for a minute then knelt.
She could hear a faint murmur from downstairs, then a laugh.
Jake talking to his father, she supposed. Other than that it was silent as the
grave. The room seemed very, very well lit. Tess was okay with her body, but
reasoned that anybody would feel self-conscious in all that daylight. She was
suddenly hyperaware of her posture and its effect on her boobs.
Sitting up straighter changed the pressure on her knees,
drawing her attention there and making her wonder whether she was doing it
right. Was there a special way to kneel for kinky guys? Recalling how Jake had
gone straight for her pussy, she tried spreading her knees a little. Then a
little more. Showing off the goods.
Now I look like a big old ho. And what do I do with my
hands?
Footsteps sounded on the stair. Tess scooted her knees back
in, then out again quickly before she lost her nerve. Eyes down, because she
was too freaked out to meet Jake’s gaze. She slid her fingers under her feet,
feeling subversive for hiding even that much of herself.
He walked right past her as though she weren’t even there.
Strolled into the bathroom, closed the door. A few seconds later she could hear
him peeing. A flush. Then the water running, splashing into the sink.
What the fuck
? But his seeming disregard made her
hotter, which prompted a different and more agonizing moment of
what the
fuck
before Tess reminded herself she was committed to giving this an
honest effort. Perhaps she should stop trying to analyze so much, be in the
moment. Worry about the why of it all later on, when she wasn’t quite so naked
and horny.
So. In the moment, being treated like a cross between a sex
doll and the family dog seemed to be a huge turn-on.
Duly noted
.
The running water made the old pipes groan, then Jake came
out of the bathroom. He walked over to stand in front of her, still not saying
a word.
She wished she’d kept her knees together. She was wet again,
wanting his attention so badly she was almost ready to beg for it, embarrassed
to be so exposed. But damned if she’d move while he was looking, when he’d told
her not to move unless he said so. So she waited, and when he ran his fingertips
over the top of her head before he stepped away again, she stifled a whimper.
This time he headed to the closet. He unlaced his boots
quickly and tossed them in, along with his socks, then closed the door and
headed back to stand in that same spot. Tess shivered again. Definitely
anticipation this time. Sex was somewhere nearby, she could feel it in the air.
Jake crouched down and pulled her arms from behind her,
arranging her hands on her knees, palms up. He pressed them there firmly, a
clear signal to keep them like that, then stood up once more. Tess followed him
with her eyes, marking the bulge in his jeans that suggested he wasn’t quite as
cool about the whole thing as he seemed.
Then she got to appreciate his ass for a moment, ogling him
unabashedly while his back was turned. He was unlocking and opening the
cabinet—and after one glance inside she knew she would rather think about
Jake’s butt than about the contents of the cabinet.
He had his naughty toy collection arranged as neatly as his
garage, with the same kind of pegboard for hanging tools. But
these
tools would indeed shock the cleaning lady. Tess admitted to being shocked
herself—mostly because she couldn’t immediately identify all the items she’d
seen in that brief look.
There were drawers below the pegboard, and Jake plucked a
few items from those right away then seemed to linger over his next choice. At
one point he looked back over his shoulder and met Tess’ gaze.
“Eyes down,” he reminded her. She looked back at the floor
but could still feel his attention on her, measuring her up.
In another few moments he brought his selections to the bed
and tossed them there, frustrating Tess’ effort to see what he’d pulled from
the cabinet. She wanted so badly to ask or to stand up and look for herself.
But Jake, it seemed, had been right on the money when he’d noticed how she’d
reacted to certain people, certain teachers, particular tones of voice. With a
frankly pathetic eagerness to please, completely at odds with her usual
contrariness.
He had always been able to do that to her, she realized now,
when he wanted to. He used that tone with other people, but not often with Tess
before now. Possibly because he’d known how easily she would fall in line. No
challenge for somebody who knew the secret password to her psyche.
Fuck that
, she decided, and turned to peek up at the
bed, rising up a bit from her kneeling position.
Jake met her eyes with an amused expression, folded his arms
and stared until Tess backed down and returned to her subservient pose, blushing
in anger and embarrassment.
“You lasted longer than I thought you would,” Jake admitted.
“Stand up and face the bed. Right here.” He indicated a spot in the middle of
the closest side, and Tess stood up, knees creaking a protest, and stepped into
place. She looked at the stuff strewn across the bed, identifying a whip with a
lot of wide leather tails, a paddle, some leather cuffs…a bottle of lube.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to block out the rest.
Is there going to be foreplay? Have we already started?
What the fuck, what the—
“Shhh. Relax.” Jake’s arms enfolded her again, his
comforting warmth pressing against her back as his lips tickled her ear.
“You’re shaking again. There’ll be plenty of cause for that later on, but not
quite yet.” He pressed a series of soft, languid kisses down her neck to her
shoulder, until she exhaled and released a little of the tension along with the
air.
But Jake didn’t seem to want her
too
relaxed. “No
words, Tess. Not even in your head. Let all that go for now. I want you to just
feel, and accept whatever I do. If it hurts, if it feels good, if you like it
or not doesn’t matter. I’m going to use you however I see fit, because you’ve
given me permission to do that. You can’t change it. Can’t control it. You can stop
it cold if you want to, but unless you do, it’s all up to me. You understand
that, right?”
Was it hypnotism? She felt his gently spoken words like a
march of fire across her nerve endings, as though he’d stroked every inch of
her with that velvety voice. Such awful things he said, but she couldn’t hide
her response, the soft gasp and almost imperceptible undulation as her body
writhed closer to his.
Jake didn’t wait for a nod. His foot was already nudging
hers to the side, spreading her stance until she was almost unbalanced. The
high edge of the bed braced her hips, helping her stay upright as Jake withdrew
his support and retrieved cuffs and straps. He secured first one ankle then the
other to the legs of the bedstead, testing each bond before moving on.
“Wouldn’t want you escaping my evil clutches,” he explained
as he gave the second tether a tug. As he rose from the floor, evidently
satisfied that the straps would hold, he stroked the back of Tess’ leg from
heel to upper thigh, letting his hand linger at the lower curve of her ass.
Then he gripped her cheek on that side, firmly enough to leave an impression.
“I’ve wanted
this
in my evil clutches for a long, long time, sweetheart.
I hope you know I intend to make the most of it. I’ve had many a dream about
your ass. Although none of them did justice to the real thing.”
He pulled away—then his hand returned with a stinging smack,
the sharp sound resounding in the quiet room.
Tess cried out, startled more than pained, and Jake
chuckled.
“Let’s get your hands squared away.”
By that, he meant tied up. He secured her wrists together
with an elaborately wrapped and knotted arrangement of rope, not sexy black
silk but prickly, pungent hemp. When he knotted the rope onto an S-hook over
the canopy rail, raising her arms over her head, the pressure on her wrists was
negligible but the sensation of the fiber itself made the binding feel tighter,
more significant. She twisted her hands, gripping the rope to feel more stable.
It did nothing to make her feel less exposed, however.
Jake started with a flogger, the whip with all the tails,
showing it to her first and describing what he would do with it.
“Most people like being flogged,” he assured her. Tess was
trembling again though. She’d been on a roller coaster of anticipation since
arriving at Jake’s house. And now this was it, the moment of truth. Was she
really going to let him hit her with that thing?
Wildcats
, she reminded herself as Jake raised his
arm.
The tails of the flogger fell like heavy rain, pattering
against one side of her ass with all the destructive power of a declawed
kitten. Then the other side, and back again, a steady rhythm of mild thuddy
blows, and Tess almost giggled at how gentle it felt. Pleasant, even. He moved
up to her back, flipping her hair forward with great care then working the
flogger against the muscles below her shoulder blades, and it was wonderful.
Like a massage.
This was
easy
. Was this all she had to endure? She
would ask later, she decided, and sighed happily as Jake beat the anxiety from
her shoulders.
By the time he paused, she was practically melting into the
floor. He ran the ends of the soft leather over her back, an entrancing sensual
accompaniment that almost distracted Tess from the significance of what he was
saying.
“You have to think of these things as having settings. Like
a volume button. That was about a one. Now we’re going to increase the volume.”
M’kay
, she thought drowsily.
Two was a firmer massage. Tess eased into that, even
enjoying the more pronounced sensation. Three was mildly uncomfortable at
first, but then she grew used to it and didn’t mind it one bit.
“Let’s skip up a few,” Jake suggested after a few minutes.
And everything changed.
Fire scored her ass in the wake of Jake’s next throw, a
burning that went below the skin and lingered in the muscle. Tess jerked
against the restraints, nearly calling out a curse word but catching herself at
the last minute.
“That was maybe a six or seven,” Jake explained, running his
fingers over the searing mark. “Of course this is a soft flogger, with wide
tails, so it’s not going to sting that much even at full bore, but it’s good
for training. The trick is not to tense up. You have to take it. Let it in,
turn it into something else. Transfer that pain to somewhere else as pleasure.”
He trailed down to push first one, then two fingers into her
pussy, encountering little resistance. Tess felt the brush of something harder
over her clit then realized it was the flogger handle. She shuddered and pushed
back into Jake’s touch, moaning at the sudden rush of need. Until he’d touched
her, she hadn’t known how wet she was, how empty and aching. As the sting
faded, it was replaced with ferocious arousal. The importance of being filled
was overwhelming.
“Not yet.” He withdrew with a gentle pat on her hip, then
stepped back and let fly with the flogger again.
A crack, a sting, a whimper. For a horrible, endless time
Tess bore that rhythm, until at last her mind and body worked out the trick,
like flipping a switch in her nervous system. The sting became feeling, pure
and simple, and the next time Jake stroked the whip against her, Tess groaned
in anticipation and cried out in pleasure as the sensation flowed from her ass
to that needy place between her legs.
After another few strokes he stopped again, and Tess wasn’t
sure if she was panting in relief or frustration, whether she wanted it to end
or go on forever. She wasn’t even sure who she was right then, but she felt
like she might want to
be
whoever this was, this wild, sex-crazed woman.
Someone whose walls could be scaled, who could take it instead of dishing it
out. Someone who could be with someone like Jake.