“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Ferrin said, her voice stiff as she glanced past him. “Have we reached Panama?”
“Not quite yet,” Daegan answered as he took the time to gauge her underlying hostility. He stepped forward, causing her to back up far enough for him to enter her cabin. She’d changed into her khaki work uniform and even had her boots laced up as if she were ready to do battle. He looked her over from head to toe and became concerned at the pallor of her face. “We should be there in a few hours. I came by to make sure you were all right. Ferrin, did you get any sleep today?”
“No. Lieutenant Irvine came by to speak with me earlier but I’m fine,” Ferrin reiterated, turning toward her cot. It was then that he saw her bunkmate sitting cross-legged on the lower rack. The woman had dark black hair that was cut short in the back but longer in the front. She was holding on to her pillow as she curiously watched the interaction in front of her. It seemed to spur Ferrin on to make introductions. “Daegan Murphy, this is Nina Cornwall.”
“Nina, it’s nice to meet you.” Daegan only took his gaze off of Ferrin for a minute, wanting to stress to Nina how serious he was in his request. “Would you mind giving me a minute with Ferrin?”
“Of course,” Nina replied, flipping her pillow up onto her own rack and unfolding her legs. She stood and walked over to Ferrin, giving her a brief hug as she continued to look at Daegan with interest. “I’ll be in the mess hall if you need me.”
“I appreciate it,” Ferrin said, giving her friend a small smile. Daegan wasn’t so sure she did appreciate it, but he wasn’t going to point that out. She acted as if she wanted to be alone, but that wasn’t going to happen just yet. It was almost as if she were angry. “And thank you for keeping me company.”
Daegan waited until Nina had closed the hatch before addressing what had taken place today. He was privy to information that no one aboard should know as of yet, but he’d wanted to ease Ferrin’s mind about Tami’s murderer. He didn’t want her thinking someone was loose on the ship or that she could be in danger.
“What I’m about to tell you can’t be made public knowledge until we pull out of port later tonight, but Chuck Farrell is being kept in a holding cell until a federal agent can take him into custody.” Daegan’s words grabbed her attention and Ferrin’s eyes swung to his, widening in shock. He also saw disbelief in those grey circles, so he followed up his statement with eyewitness testimony. “Someone stepped forward and stated they witnessed Chuck leaving Tami’s cabin less than five minutes before you found her. Coupled with the fact that they’d just had sexual relations and he admitted to having a verbal argument with her regarding the status of their relationship doesn’t help his claim of innocence.”
“Who said they saw him leave?” Ferrin asked as she sat down on the same bunk Nina had just left, looking up at him for answers that he didn’t have to give.
“I don’t know,” Daegan admitted, pulling the chair over so that he was sitting directly in front of her. He took her ice cold hands in his, rubbing the back of hers with his fingers. “I was with the team most of the day making sure that everyone else on the ship was all right and accounted for. Now that I’ve shared with you what I know, you need to tell me why you look ready walk the plank.”
Daegan’s attempt at humor failed, but he was glad to see some of the tension ease out of her shoulders. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as if he’d gotten her out of a life sentence. He took the time to really look at her, noticing the dark shadows underneath her eyes. It was apparent she hadn’t slept at all, which was understandable considering what she’d been through today.
“I was afraid they thought I had something to do with Tami’s death,” Ferrin admitted, pulling one hand out of his to rub her forehead. Daegan wasn’t sure he heard her correctly until she continued to expand on her explanation. “They wouldn’t let me stay with her and then they put me in the officer’s wardroom where I wrote down everything I could remember. When Starr and Kane Taylor walked in and relieved me of duty, it didn’t feel as if it was for my emotional wellbeing. Chief Jackson didn’t come to my defense either and Lieutenant Irvine wasn’t the most compassionate man I’ve ever met.”
“Ferrin, you just found out that your friend and co-worker was murdered.” Daegan shook his head at the misunderstanding and now wished he’d been by her side the entire time. This mix-up could have been avoided and she would have been able to get some much-needed sleep. “The logical step was to give you the night off, especially considering that we’re pulling into port and you have to give a statement to a federal agent. What I want to know is why you didn’t come to me if you felt that they were treating you like a suspect. I would have—”
“What would you have done, Daegan?” Ferrin lowered her right hand, squeezing his fingers in reassurance. “You wouldn’t have been able to do anything because we’re not supposed to be together in the first place. We both would have gotten in trouble and neither one of us needs the added stress right now. Plus, Starr has a lot on her plate and I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate finding out about us after what just happened. I still find it hard to believe that Chuck had the guts to kill Tami. He just isn’t that kind of guy.”
“Come here,” Daegan said, pulling her until she was sitting in his lap. It felt so good to hold her. He’d known she was safe when he and the team had started working their way cabin to cabin, but he’d also acknowledged that she was by herself after Gunny had joined in the search. Gunny had shared with them the information regarding Chuck’s involvement and it wasn’t long after Starr questioned the man that he was placed in the brig until they could hand him over to federal authorities. Why then did something still feel wrong? “I’m just glad that you didn’t show up a few minutes earlier. Who knows what he would have done in a panic of being found with his hands around her throat?”
Daegan could feel Ferrin’s shoulders shake as she finally gave way to the grief that must have consumed her today. He held her without saying anything else as he gently stroked her back. He thought of what she’d said and it bothered him. She hadn’t come to him because she assumed there would be ramifications and that was something he’d have to rectify if they were to continue to be together. He wasn’t ready for this to end between them, but he also didn’t want her to fear any consequences. He kissed her forehead and would correct the situation after Chuck Farrell was in federal custody. Ferrin was right about one thing—Starr had enough on her plate for now.
“She didn’t deserve to die,” Ferrin whispered against his neck, wiping away her tears as if she didn’t want him to see her cry. She sat up slightly and used both hands to dry her cheeks. “I keep thinking about what she said about Chuck. She thought she loved him. I’ve known him for months, Daegan. The two of us worked on
The Promised Land’s
systems day in and day out getting the radios networked into the COC, squaring away the antenna arrays, and knocking out a hundred different issues getting communications ready for this mission. I just can’t imagine the guy I know hurting Tami, let alone murdering her barehanded.”
“People do crazy things when they’re put into stressful situations.” Daegan didn’t take his hand from her back, rubbing it up and down in reassurance. “We’re in the middle of the ocean on a very difficult assignment. For all we know a simple argument could have spiraled out of control and things went wrong very fast.”
“Did Chuck confess?”
“Not that I know of, but I wasn’t in the room when Lieutenant Irvine was questioning him.” Daegan had wanted to see for himself that Ferrin was okay before they pulled into port. Who knew how long they would be there with the feds crawling all over the ship? They would have to examine the crime scene as well as remove Tami’s body from the ship. In all likelihood they wouldn’t be pulling out until late tomorrow. “We’ll leave it in the hands of the federal authorities.”
“How long can you stay?”
The simple question wasn’t so simple anymore. Ferrin wasn’t hiding the fact that she wanted this visit to turn into something more and he understood the reason why. He just didn’t want her to regret this knee-jerk reaction.
“I’m meeting up with the team before we pull into Panama.” Daegan brushed the back of his knuckles across her cheek, wishing that her decision wasn’t based on what had happened today. “I don’t have much time.”
“We don’t need much,” Ferrin murmured, leaning forward and brushing her lips against his. Daegan found the strength to pull away, even wrapping his fingers around her arms to keep her from tempting him further. Her next words were almost his undoing. “I want you, Daegan.”
“Not like this. I’m here for you and we can have our own time after this is all cleared up.” Daegan shook his head at the fact that he was turning her down, but this wasn’t just a casual affair anymore. He backpedaled his way of thinking immediately. It
was
casual, but he didn’t want her this way—not when anybody would do. He would look back on the irony of this and laugh, but not right now. “You’ve been dealt an emotional blow and—”
“Don’t tell me what I’m feeling,” Ferrin said, cutting off his words. She pulled back and met his gaze head-on. This was the confident woman he was used to dealing with, but it still didn’t change the fact that she was running on emotion. He was surprised by her strength when she curled her hand into the front of his shirt. “You’re the one who wanted to continue what we started. Outside factors shouldn’t come into play just because you want them to. I want you. It’s that simple.”
“And if Nina comes back?” Daegan asked, trying to be the voice of reason. He wasn’t sure when the roles had reversed, but he’d be damned if they had sex for all the wrong reasons. “Five minutes won’t cut it, Ferrin, and you know that for a fact.”
This verbal exchange only seemed to heighten the sexual tension in the room, which hadn’t been his intention. He was trying to do the right thing and she sure as hell wasn’t making it easy for him. Her fingers went to the button on his jeans before he could stop her and he grabbed hold of her hands. Before either of them could say a word, the hatch opened and Ferrin pulled away.
“Hey, the captain is about to make an all hands announcement,” Nina said, not having looked their way yet. She’d turned to close the hatch and had to kneel to pick up a napkin that she’d brought with her along with a container of soup. By the time she straightened, both Daegan and Ferrin were standing apart. “Word has it it’s regarding what happened. I brought you some soup since you haven’t eaten anything.”
Nina held out her offering to Ferrin, who’d stepped forward to take the food. Her bunkmate didn’t seem to notice the slight blush that tinged Ferrin’s cheeks or the fact that Daegan had to shift his stance to relieve some pressure. He smiled and then stated his intentions before Nina could notice anything wrong.
“Ferrin, walk me out? I have to meet up with the team, but I’ll tell them that you’re holding up well under the circumstances.” Daegan kept up appearances until he and Ferrin were standing in the hallway. He made sure no one was coming down the passageway in either direction and then trained his gaze on her, letting her know just how close she’d come to making him lose control. “I’m not even going to comment about what almost happened in there, but I will start setting the guidelines so feel free to chime in. One, you are to come for me if you ever think that you’re not being treated fairly aboard this ship. Two, you notify me if you feel threatened by anyone. Three, I want you in my stateroom the moment you’re finished giving your statement and you’ll be staying a hell of a lot longer than five minutes.”
“My turn?” Ferrin asked, crossing her arms as she leaned back against the bulkhead. She had a little color back into her cheeks, but it was apparent today had taken a toll on her, as it would anyone. She was dealing with a lot of emotions and he’d tried to keep things in check, but she’d just kept pushing. He nodded, waiting to hear what she had to add. “The one thing I took away from today was the fact that at any moment, any of us could be gone in the blink of an eye. You would think it would be the opposite. Tami lived in the moment and she ended up getting killed. But what if she hadn’t experienced the things she had? That’s all I’ve been able to think about. What if she hadn’t experienced all the things she’d set out to do? Yes, my mind is running in circles right now, but I do know that I want you. So yes, I’ll come to you after I give my statement as long as we both agree to be discreet.”
Daegan caught some type of movement in his peripheral vision and he couldn’t reply to her the way he wanted to. He would agree to keep things discreet unless a moment came that would put her at a disadvantage. He had no trouble coming clean with Starr, but he would hold off unless the truth was needed.
“Take care of yourself and eat that soup that Nina brought you,” Daegan instructed before he started down the hallway. Matt was almost upon them and it was apparent he’d come to check up on Ferrin. Daegan had been debriefed about what had occurred and he knew that Matt had been the one to call for help after Ferrin had discovered Tami’s body. “Matt, good response time on retrieving Captain Hensel after what happened today.”
“It was a stressful moment,” Matt replied with a shrug of his shoulders. Daegan noticed that the man also looked a little haggard, which was understandable. The entire ship was on edge and Ferrin’s previous opinion on Chuck being a good guy only added to his own gut instinct that something was off with the whole “love gone wrong” scenario. “Ferrin, you okay? I hear we both have to give statements to the feds, but I don’t know if it’ll be on board or if we’ll have to go to the embassy.”
Daegan left the two of them to talk and walked toward the team ready room. Starr had notified the entire team about the odd things that had been happening aboard
The Promised Land
that appeared too coincidental. They weren’t to share that information with anyone and Daegan would heed those words, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be keeping a closer eye on Ferrin. He didn’t like thinking about what could have happened to her if she’d come upon Tami’s murderer in the act. If Ferrin was right and Chuck didn’t have it in him to do something of that nature, then who aboard had motive to kill Tami McDaniel?