Tani's Destiny (Hearts of ICARUS Book 2) (15 page)

“You already have, Naran,” Tani said.  “We’ll get out of here now and let you finish eating.”

Tani went to stand outside while Steel spoke with Naran for a minute.  There was something bothering her, but she didn’t know what it was.  She felt as though something inside of her had suddenly gone tense and wary the moment she stepped into the room with Naran.  Whatever it was, it hadn’t happened the night before when she was not only in the same room with him, but touching him.

“Is something wrong, Tani?” Steel asked, joining her outside the cave.

“Not really,” she said, looking up at him.  Her frown deepened when she saw his eyes.  “What is it?”

“Several men went looking for Roark, the man who was with Naran when they were attacked,” Steel said.  “They couldn’t find him anywhere.  I just told Naran, and he’s upset about it, of course.  He wants to go out looking for him on his own but I told him not to.”

“I know that he feels good right now, and compared to how he felt yesterday at this time, I’m sure he feels fully healed.  But he’s not.  His body needs another day or so of rest, minimum.”

“I told him as much,” Steel said.  “The problem is that Roark and Naran have always been close.  It’s hard for him to know his friend is lying out there somewhere.”

“Is there a chance he could be alive?” Tani asked anxiously.

“No,” Steel said.  “Naran is certain of that much.  He just wants his friend to be properly buried.”

“Yes, I can understand that,” Tani said.  “Why couldn’t anyone find him?”

“Naran thinks he might have given the wrong directions.  He was in a lot of pain at the time.  That’s why he wants to go looking himself.”

“Maybe he’ll be strong enough to do that tomorrow,” Tani said.  “Are you ready to go, or do you want to put it off for a day or two?”

“No, I don’t want to put it off at all,” Steel said.  “You?”

“Nope, let’s do this,” she agreed, stepping back to give him room. 

The moment he was in his
mahrac
form, Steel watched her carefully.  He knew that he was grotesquely ugly, all of them were when they shifted, but he tried to remember what she’d told him and hid his worry. 

“I hope you plan on carrying me in your arms and not your claws,” she said, walking right up to him.  She stopped and looked up at his face, studying him for a long moment, but the expression in her eyes was curiosity, not disgust. 

He reached up to activate the Blind Sight, then placed his arms around her slowly and carefully.  She relaxed into them as though it were the most natural thing in the world.  And that, he realized suddenly, was exactly what it was for her.  She’d grown up with shifters, her parents were
dracons
, a creature he’d never seen, but had read about while researching the Jasani after she’d told him about her inner dracon onboard the
Stray
.  She’d probably ridden on them when they flew from the time she was a baby.  All of this was more natural for her than it was for him because her people had
always
been shifters, and had embraced it in a way that the Khun never had. 

Something inside of him relaxed and he stretched his wings out, made sure she was settled securely, and jumped.  Since they were so heavy, their flesh so dense, it took a while to gain altitude, but he was used to that and barely thought twice about it. 

He looked down at Tani, then pulled her closer against his chest and picked up speed.  It was thirty miles overland to the mine, and he’d have to rest before they returned.

“You’re purring,” Tani said, startling him.  He looked down to see her looking up at him with a smile on her face, her ear pressed to his chest, just over his heart.  He shook his head, not sure he’d heard her right, sure that he’d never done such a thing before.  Somehow, she understood, or seemed to. 

“You’re purring, Steel,” she said again.  “Do you know that?”

He shook his head and smiled, forgetting for a moment that he had a mouthful of long, glistening sharp teeth.  But that didn’t bother her either.  She just laughed up at him, then turned to watch the landscape unfold below them.

“You asked me a question last night that I didn’t get a chance to answer,” she said.  “You wanted to know why I was different from other Clan Jasani women.”

Steel glanced down at her and nodded.  “Do you want me to answer now, or wait until we can both talk?”  He thought for a moment, then nodded again.  Tani didn’t need to clarify his answer.  She already knew what he meant.

“My sisters and I were the first female Jasani to be born in over three thousand years,” she said, startling him.  She saw his surprise and nodded.  “It’s a long story that I’ll share another time.  I have cousins…well, they aren’t truly cousins I suppose.  They’re Bearens.  They were the first females ever born to Clan Jasani who were already shifters.  Before them, only males were born shifters.  They had to perform a ritual on their destined female, their
berezi
, to transform her into their Arima, and give her the ability to shift into whatever Clan they were part of.  My point is that only a
berezi
can be a destined Clan Jasani soul mate, because only a
berezi
can be converted, thereby linking the three parts of her male-set’s shared soul together as it was meant to be.

“Not long after my Dads found my Mom, who was fully human by the way, the Jasani began to discover more and more human women who turned out to be
berezi
, like she was.  They also discovered that the Xanti were identifying
berezi
and kidnapping them to sell as slaves.  In order to protect those women, the Jasani had to be able to identify them too, so they developed a blood test for that purpose.”  Tani looked up to see if Steel was following her.  He nodded, so she continued.

 “About two years ago, my eldest sister, Salene, discovered her future Rami, a Gryphon male-set.  Our middle sister, Rayne, immediately began worrying why she hadn’t found her future Rami yet, but that’s Rayne.  She’s a bit of a worrier.  But I had a completely different reaction.  Somehow, I couldn’t help feeling that there would never be a male-set for me.  That my destiny lay elsewhere.

“I’d always trusted my feelings before, but that time I deliberately tried to ignore them.  I lasted about six months before I went to a clinic on Jasan and had the
berezi
test run on me.  One of the most important aspects of that test is that, by Jasani law, the name of the person having the test run, as well as the results, are highly confidential.  Otherwise, I’m not sure I’d have had the nerve to do it.  When the results came back, I wasn’t surprised.  But I was devastated. 

“I’d always been a little different from my sisters.  My interest in weapons, fighting, tactical planning, evaluation, and theory being just one example.  But I’d just discovered that I was different on such a basic and fundamental level that I didn’t know how to process it.”  She fell silent for a moment, fighting the tears and sadness that always overwhelmed her when she thought about this.

“I am Clan Jasani, but not,” she continued in a subdued voice.  “I will never be soul-linked with a male-set, something I was raised to accept as a natural and normal part of my future.  I will never shift, something that literally defines who and what Clan Jasani are.  I will never be a real member of the culture and society I was born to.”

Tani fell silent for a moment, then felt something wet drip onto her arm.  She looked up to see tears running from Steel’s black eyes, coursing down his broad cheeks.  Her own tears overflowed as she reached up to place one palm on the side of his face.  When he looked down, she offered him a watery smile. 

“You asked why I’m an exception, and the truth is, I don’t know
why
.  I just know that I am.  I let you kiss me, Steel, because I wanted it.  I want you, Steel, more than I’ve ever wanted anything or anyone in my life.”

Steel looked into her eyes for a long moment, then looked down to see where they were.  His wings slowed as he began to descend, landing in a narrow gap between a hillside and a large boulder.  The moment his feet touched the ground he shifted back to his human form, bent his head, and took her mouth with his.

His kiss the night before had been soft and tender.  Sweet.  This time it was hot and filled with need and desire.  She felt his heart racing in his chest as his tongue boldly entered her mouth, claiming it for his own as he thrust and withdrew.  She followed his lead with equal passion, moaning helplessly when she discovered that he tasted as good as he smelled.  Their kisses grew deeper, hotter, and more passionate by the moment until they broke apart, panting and gasping for air.  Steel shifted her in his arms so she could wrap her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.  Her eyes widened when she realized that his erection now pressed directly against her most sensitive area.  She could even feel the heat of him through their jeans.  Steel flexed his hips, grinding himself against her.  Her head went back and her eyes closed at the unexpected intensity of the pleasure that gave her.  Steel groaned and arched into her again.

“I want you, Tani,” he growled before burying his face in her neck and inhaling her sweet and spicy scent deep into his lungs.

“That’s good because I want you, too,” she replied breathlessly. 

Steel raised his head and looked into her eyes.  “We can’t,” he said, the words sounding as though they’d been torn from his throat.

“Why not?” she whispered.

“As much as I want you, I could never dishonor you, Tani.”

“Do your people consider sex dishonorable?” she asked, frowning.

“No, we don’t, although living together is an indication of intent to marry.  But sex outside of marriage, or a similar commitment, is considered dishonorable in many cultures.”

“Not in my culture,” she said, pressing her body against his.  “Do you still want to stop?”

Steel’s eyes flashed with sudden heat, his body arching against hers firmly as his mouth came down on hers, pulling her close against him as his tongue thrust in and out of her mouth faster and more demandingly than before.  Tani smiled inwardly, accepting his reaction as her answer before losing herself to the heat of the kiss.  When he broke away his eyes were closed, his entire body trembling as he tried to catch his breath.

“We can’t,” he said again.  Tani rolled her eyes, wondering if all women had to go through this.  When Clan Jasani met the other half of their souls, they knew they were destined to be together.  There was no other choice, so there was nothing to worry about.  She had no idea how other people did these things.

“Why not this time?” she asked, fighting not to laugh.

“Well, look around,” Steel said, his voice filled with regret.  “I don’t think you want to lay down on these rocks and I certainly don’t want you to.”

Tani had to concede that point.  Then she smiled and pushed away from Steel gently.  He got the hint and set her on her feet.  She kicked off her shoes, unbuttoned her jeans and slid them off, her panties following a moment later.  She was a bit nervous until she saw the expression on his face.  Then she slowed her movements a little as she pulled her shirt off over her head, dropped it on top of her jeans, then added her bra. 

Steel watched Tani take her clothes off and forgot to breathe.  She had a petite, athletic build combined with full breasts tipped with peach colored nipples, a tiny waist, and a perfectly beautiful ass that he ached to caress.  She wasn’t muscular like a man would be, but there was no denying the lean power in her taut arms, legs, and stomach.  He stared at her for so long that he began to grow dizzy before he remembered he had to breathe. 

“You’re stunning,
Khalute
,” he said hoarsely.  “I’ve never seen a woman more beautiful than you.”

Tani had started to get nervous again with his continued silence.  But when he spoke, she looked up and saw the heat in his eyes, and the clenched fists at his sides, and she relaxed and stepped closer to him.  She reached out and unbuttoned his jeans, then his fingers joined hers.  For a moment she was afraid that he was going to stop her, but he didn’t.  He unzipped his pants and pushed them open, then reached in and freed his erection. 

Her eyes widened in surprise at the size of him, and for a moment she wondered if she was making a mistake.  Then he wrapped one hand around his heavy shaft and stroked himself slowly.  Unable to take her eyes from the sight, her mouth went dry and a shudder ran through her.  She reached out, then hesitated.  She wanted to touch, but was uncertain of the right way to do it.  He took her hand in his and guided her closer, then closer still until her fingers were wrapped around the hot, silky flesh that throbbed insistently against her palm. 

She stroked up, then down as she’d seen him do, and was rewarded by a guttural groan.  A drop of fluid appeared in the little slit at the top of the broad, mushroom shaped head, and she bent down to flick it off with her tongue just because she wanted to know what he tasted like.  Steel’s head went back and his entire body stiffened as he fought back the orgasm that had very nearly overtaken him.  When he was sure he was in control, he looked back down.

“You’ve never done this, have you?” he asked, the question more of a statement. 

“No, is that a problem?”

“No,
Khalute
, it’s not a problem,” he said.  “I just don’t want to hurt you.  You’re so small and the breaking of the hymen is painful, I’m told.”