Tangled Up Hearts (39 page)

“But she’s still around then?”

“She likes it here in Cove Falls and is looking for a place to live. Right now she's living in her sister's house in Manchester but it just sold and she's getting desperate. In fact, I was going to ask you about your place but then I was hoping you'd come back to it yourself." Glad to be discussing something besides the tragic relationship between her brother and friend, Trisha babbled on. "She’s actually really nice. I think you’d like her, Al. She’s done a couple other posts on Cole’s projects since that first one and she's even done a post about daycares and featured mine.” As if realizing that she was blabbering, Trisha shrugged her shoulders and smiled with reassurance that Cassie was no one she needed to worry about.

Al stared at her friend with dismay shooting through her. It made her go weak inside and robbed her legs of strength once again. She plopped down onto a chair and shook her head, afraid to accept what hope was offering. “Just because he isn’t dating this Cassie girl doesn’t mean he is interested in me.” But oh how she wanted it to be true.

When Trisha began to cry softly and was unable to answer her, Jack stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Cole hasn’t been the same since you left, Al. He's been holing up in his house and working himself ragged. He’s not eating properly. His very soul is tortured. You can see it clear as day when you look at him.” He knelt down in front of her and looked her in the eyes. “Trisha and I and his parents have been worried sick. Looking at you, I would say you haven’t fared any better.” He took Alyssa’s hands and squeezed them. “Do you love Cole, Alyssa?”

Tears fell unchecked down her cheeks. “I think I’ve loved him forever.”

Trisha broke into a sob. “Oh, Al, he loves you too. I know he does.”

Alyssa looked at them with hope pounding her heart and stirring life into her sluggish blood. The past few months she had merely existed. She ate, she slept, she worked. Now it felt as if she was coming alive. “I must go see him.” Unwilling to waste even one more second, she stood and hurried for the door.

Trisha beat her to it and opened it for her. “Good luck, Al.”

Alyssa gave her a quick hug. “It will be okay, Trisha. Don’t look so tragic.”

She rushed to her car, sending up frantic prayers as she did so.
Please, God, don’t let it be too late.
 

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
 

Cole drove to his house in a state of shock. He’d lost the only woman he’d ever love because he’d acted without having all the facts straight. He should have known Alyssa wasn’t the type to go from one man to another like some wishy-washy airhead. He should have known.

He pulled into his driveway and charged into his house as if chased by demons. What he’d done was unforgivable. He didn’t deserve her. Not anymore. He’d known Paul was different. He’d sensed it right away. But his foolish pride had prevented him from finding out the truth. He couldn’t blame this on Trisha. He should have asked Alyssa about Paul himself. Now his actions had cost him dearly. How on earth was he going to go through the rest of his life without her? She’d been in it for so long.

Memories of that Christmas when everything changed between them entered his mind. She was only sixteen at the time but he’d been bowled over that night. Staring at her all dolled up, he’d seen her for the first time as a man sees a woman. Although she was far too young, he’d wanted her. Unable to handle his feelings and worried she might guess at them, he began to tease her. She reacted first with hurt then with anger and retaliation.

They fell into a pattern after that which worsened over time. He even managed to convince himself that she no longer attracted him. Yet he was jealous of the boys she went out with, the men she dated. Telling himself he was only protecting her innocence because she was his sister’s best friend, he scared off anyone he didn't believe worthy of her. She took his actions all wrong of course. Like she always did. He wondered if she now knew about Jerry and the fact he was married. A discovery he'd stumbled onto when his wife tried to draw him into their fold. She'd hired him to design a guest house for their place in Boston and thought she'd get more than his professional services. Jerry and his wife engaged in an open marriage and as much as he disliked the idea of it, he knew Alyssa would be thoroughly disgusted. It would have devastated her if she’d found out only after falling in love with him.

His heart ached and he pressed a hand to his chest. So much wasted time. He should have come clean with her years ago. But he hadn’t even come clean with himself until Trisha forced them into that truce. A fine tangled up mess he was in now. The web of his life mangled beyond repair, destroyed by misperceptions and a deplorable lack of communication. His heart was just as tangled, perhaps beyond the hope of ever being repaired.

He threw some clothes into a suitcase and headed for his vehicle. He had to get out of there. It would be too hard on him to stick around knowing Alyssa was so close. Once she returned to New York, he would come back and somehow learn to live with his miserable self.

“Zeus. Here boy.” His dog came running and when Cole opened the door to his SUV, having traded in his truck a month after Alyssa left, Zeus jumped onto the front seat with tail-wagging excitement. The big oaf loved going on rides. If only people could be so easily pleased. He got in beside his slobbering companion and sped out of the driveway, kicking up a bit of dirt in the process. Story of my life, Cole thought, kicking up dirt.

As if aware of Cole's inner turmoil, Zeus settled down beside him and laid his head on his lap. Grateful for the comfort, Cole petted him with affection. They'd just disappear until Alyssa went back to New York. In the meantime, he needed the solace of his mountainside cabin. It was the one place on earth that was sure to provide some balm for the pain in his soul.

* * *

It was quite a letdown to arrive at Cole's house and find that he wasn't at home. His truck was gone and there were spun tire tracks in the dirt. He must have been in a pretty big hurry. Discouraged and disappointed, Alyssa parked in his driveway and rested her chin on the steering wheel. Trisha was so sure of his feelings that she'd come here with high hopes. Now reality was settling back in. The fact he wasn't home made her feel unsure about what to do. Obviously he hadn't gone to her parents' to see her or she'd have gotten a call by now. So where was he?

Regardless of Cole's reaction to Trisha's revelation, whether it mattered to him or not, they needed to resolve their differences. His feelings regarding her, be they good or bad, didn't change that. One way or another they would talk and she was not leaving the state again until they'd had a chance to do so. Since she didn't want to risk having something else go wrong between them, it was imperative that they talk as soon as possible. Up until now they had missed too many connections, misread too many signs and jumped to too many wrong conclusions. Given that, she needed to sit right there and wait until he came home.

Unless…what if he didn’t want to talk to her? With that one little question, the devilish voice of doubt began to plague her in earnest. After all, he didn’t come running to her once he found out the truth about Paul did he? No. But he did run and he'd been in quite the hurry if the spun tire tracks were anything to go by. Maybe he just wanted her to leave him alone. Maybe he'd taken off because he was worried that she'd do exactly what she did and come to his house.

Her kinder voice of reason chimed in against that disturbing thought with the reminder that Trisha and Jack believed Cole loved her. Then again, what did the two of them really know about it? They didn’t know everything that had gone on between the two of them. They didn’t know the half of it. Their assumptions could very well be way off the mark. Perhaps he hadn’t been happy lately because things didn’t go right between him and that blond wench he seemed so fond of. Or, maybe he secretly did like that Cassie girl and was upset that she wasn't interested. Though how she couldn't be interested was beyond Alyssa's understanding.

Fear set in that those last thoughts were probably a more apt assumption and her resolve to talk dissolved. She needed to let go of her most fervent wish and accept that she and Cole would never be together. Pain seared through her, making her sick at heart. Oh God, how was she going to live without him? She would never love anyone else. She couldn’t. Her heart was too tangled up with love for him and she couldn’t imagine it ever wanting to beat for anyone else. What a bleak future she faced. One filled with loneliness. It was something she hadn’t allowed herself to think about until now. Instead of facing her pain, she had run from it. And yet here she was, right back where she started.

After indulging in some tears, Alyssa began to worry that Cole might come home and find her there, a situation she no longer desired. So she fought to calm her emotions and waited until she was back in emotional control before she pulled out of his driveway.

If Cole wanted to talk to her then he could come to New York.

* * *

Cole had only gone a few miles down the road when a warning flashed on his dashboard screen telling him that he was losing air pressure. Seconds later his ride went rough and he pulled over to the side of the road. Once he came to a safe stop, he slammed his hands to the steering wheel in frustration. Why did everything always have to go wrong? He couldn’t even get out of town without there being problems.

Zeus whimpered beside him and Cole reached over to pet his head. “We blew a tire, ole boy, nothing to worry about.” He got out of the SUV and walked around to the back. Yep, flat as a pancake. He kicked at it with frustration then popped open the back to retrieve the spare. Only it wasn't there. Disbelief shot through him and he looked again. What the hell?

Could anything else possibly go wrong? He went in search of his cell phone then remembered that he’d left it next to the drafting table to charge. He’d been in such a hurry to leave he walked right out the door and left it. His On-Star wasn't working either because when he bought the vehicle, he wasn't in the mood to set up an account. Damn it all to hell.
 

***

Although it was her intention to go home, Alyssa decided to go for a drive first and give her face a chance to clear up. The last thing she wanted to deal with were prying questions from her parents. As for Trisha, well, she was definitely not up to talking to her right now either.

She'd only gone a few miles when she saw a vehicle pulled over alongside the road. A man was leaning against the back of it with his head down and a dejected stance projecting from his tall, lean frame. Alyssa slowed down and pulled in behind him. Though she knew it was not a good idea to stop for men on lonely highways, she didn’t have the heart to drive by when there was someone obviously in need of assistance. Just in case, though, Alyssa grabbed her cellphone and punched in 911, keeping her finger ready on the send button.

She stepped out of her car just as the man lifted his head and straightened. What the...no way! She stopped dead in her tracks and stared in disbelief.

Cole looked back at her with what she'd guess was the same expression on her own face.

They stared at each other for several long, tense moments. Her eyes ate him up. It seemed ages since she saw him last and she'd missed him.

“Alyssa? What are you doing here?” She was the absolute last person in the world Cole expected to have stop and help him. And really, what were the chances of that? She never came out here. Never. There was no reason for her to even be on this road.

Alyssa could not believe what she was seeing either and blinked her eyes. Yup, still there. Finally she managed to speak. “What are you doing here?”

“I was headed to my cabin. My tire blew out.” His eyes drank in her features. She’d lost weight. Her face was a little splotchy. She was absolutely beautiful.

“Well…um…do you need me to take you anywhere?” Like into my arms forever? Her heart pounded a rapid staccato in her chest, making it difficult to breath. Oh God. What were the chances of this happening? Was this divine interference? Was fate working on her side for a change?

“My spare tire must be at the house. If you could give me a lift?” He didn’t want to talk about tires. He wanted to kiss her and never stop.

“Sure.” She saw Zeus panting excitedly in the window and Cole opened the door to let him out. The dog ran straight for her and jumped up with excited enthusiasm to lick her face. Alyssa staggered back, laughing. Once she had her footing, she gave the dog an affectionate hug. “Okay, Zeus. Down.”

Cole envied his dog. Why couldn’t he just do that? He’d give anything to slobber all over her face. Christ. What was he supposed to say to her? He didn’t want to talk, he wanted to pull her into his arms, absorb her into his system and never let her go. It took all he had to keep his arms at his sides.

Wondering why he was so quiet, Alyssa made a small gesture and turned back to the car. After a brief hesitation Cole followed her.

They didn’t say anything during the short ride to his house.

The moment her car came to a stop in his driveway, Cole turned in his seat to look at her. Alyssa found she couldn't face him and stared straight ahead, unable to even glance his way.

Cole sighed. She was probably still disgusted with him. He didn’t blame her. He was quite disgusted with himself. “I’ll just go get that tire then.” He opened the door and Zeus jumped over the seat and flew out the door behind him, taking off at a run and disappearing around the house. "Zeus! Get back here!"

Alyssa shut off her car and hopped out. “I’ll get him.”

Cole went to the garage in search of his tire and his nerve.

Alyssa went around the house in search of the dog and her courage.

Zeus was nowhere in sight.

Although she'd been initially glad for the distraction of fetching Cole's dog, she grew worried when repeated calls did nothing to bring him back.

Cole soon joined her, his eyes giving the yard a quick sweep. "He hasn't come back yet?"