Tahn (30 page)
“How far did you fall?” he asked. “Where?”
“From the horse.”
Lucas knew the men outside had heard, and he would have expected Samis to consider that before he spoke. To fall from a familiar mount was worse in their eyes than losing a fight. No matter how strong Samis showed himself to be tomorrow, his status would never be the same. He’d be just a man. Powerful, perhaps. But subject to defeat, just like anyone else.
Lucas waited until Samis slept and then went outside again. All the men were gathered under the trees. “Something’s wrong with him,” one of them was saying.
“He fell,” Lucas said. “He’s hurt.”
“He fell off his horse!” A big man named Burle laughed. “He’s finally become an old man.”
“He killed the baron,” Lucas reminded him.
“He couldn’t now! We could easily best him. He didn’t even notice that some of us are gone. I say we kill him and be done with it. We can draw straws for the horse and what’s on it.”
“No.” Lucas faced all of them. “Samis may deserve death. I know it as well as you do. But could you feel right about slaughtering an old man while he sleeps?”
“I could,” Burle maintained. “Why not? He would do it, wouldn’t he?”
“That’s not the point. He’s weakened right now. If you want to be free of his hold, you don’t have to kill him for that.”
“But what if he recovers quickly?” fifteen-year-old Marcus asked. “If we don’t kill him, he may be the same as before. I don’t want to miss this chance.”
Lucas well understood his desperate expression. Marcus had been a captured street boy like himself and some of the others. Who could blame him for wanting to be free? He sighed. “Don’t miss your opportunity, then. Leave now. You have a good chance he’ll not find all of you. And we’ll be bound by Kent’s words. Agreed?”
Marcus looked at him as though he longed for some more tangible assurance.
“I’m going to take him back to Valhal,” Lucas continued. “I’ll stay at his side. The rest of you should do what you need to. But you’re not going to kill him, and you’re not going to take the horse.”
“Why not?” Burle demanded.
Lucas met his eyes, knowing he would not hear any plea for the master’s sake. “If you would start a new life,” he said, “you might as well begin it clean.”
Marcus stepped forward and extended his hand. “I’ll agree.”
Lucas shook his hand and smiled. “You’ll be a good man one day,” he told him. “Go and find a place where you can forget what you’ve learned.”
“I think you’re a fool,” Burle told Lucas sharply. “Better not to forget. The sword can serve us well, away from Samis’s yoke.”
Lucas ignored him. “How many of you are leaving?”
“What will you tell him of us?” asked a short young man.
“Nothing,” Lucas promised them. “Hide or leave the country, I don’t care. He’ll be sore a few days. It will give you time to get where you’re going.”
Marcus and one other young man were already starting on their way.
“You
would
be the only one to stay with him,” Burle taunted Lucas. “We know what you’re like, waiting on Samis hand and foot. You’re like a wench, trying to be the old man’s favorite.”
“If that’s what he wants,” one of the other men said, “I say he deserves it.”
Burle laughed. “Hear that, Lucas? You can follow the old man around and lick his wounds for him if you want. But we’ll be free of him. There are plenty of good horses out there for the taking, and anything else we could want. We’ll not be bound by anyone’s orders. You stay and be the dog that follows the master. You deserve him, Lucas. Who else would feed you?”
“Just take your horse and go,” Lucas told him, more wearied than angered by his words.
“You can be sure I will.” Burle laughed again. “Come ahead, men! We can be a band to be feared without Samis over us. Let him and Lucas get a taste of each other alone! Which would be worse? Knowing you have only one pathetic servant left, or being the wretched beast?”
Lucas was not surprised by Burle’s taunting. He’d grown used to it over years of bad feeling between them. He just shook his head and stood watching the men saddle and leave. Some went off alone or in pairs. But most followed Burle, who would be looking for goods to plunder everywhere he went.
He turned back to the old stone house where the master slept. But he stayed outside, silent and alone. Maybe the men could conceive of nothing more than becoming bandits. That would be better in their eyes than where they’d been. Samis was a heartless beast who cared for no one, not even those loyal to him.
Why do I stay,
Lucas wondered,
when all the others have the sense to get out while they can?
He sighed. The dog following the master. Wretched indeed.
T
ahn leaned against cushions in the little room, listening to the noises of people entering the church. It was the Sabbath, and Father Anolle was proceeding with morning worship as usual. It sounded like a huge crowd, as though all the town had come out to see the Triletts.
Netta suddenly appeared in the doorway with a smile and in a beautiful dress a friend had brought. She looked so splendid that he turned his eyes away quickly, ashamed to be admiring her.
“Are you sure you don’t want us to move you to the sanctuary, Mr. Dorn? You might enjoy the service.”
He sighed. That was an alarming thought, to say the least. How would the crowd react? “No, Lady. Not with so many people. Take the boys, if you’re sure it’s safe. Might be good for them.”
“I’m sure it’s safe. Even if an enemy came in, we’re surrounded by friends and in God’s house.”
He was staring out the one window to the west. “We should be leaving soon.”
“I’m sure the other little ones are fine.”
“We need to get them,” he insisted. “I need to know for sure.”
“Tomorrow then. We can go. Vari and I.”
Tahn looked at her with surprise. “You? And bring them here?”
“Yes. You’re not strong enough.”
“With a wagon I can make it,” he determined. “We can get to the cave all right. These are … your people. We shouldn’t be staying.”
“Don’t make that decision yet. Not until you speak of it again with my father, please.”
“We can’t hide in this church forever. The cave is sound and harder to find.”
She smiled. “Perhaps things have changed. I need to join Father before the service begins, but we’ll be in when it’s over. He has something to tell you. I will have one of the boys stay with you in case you need anything.”
He watched her turn and go out with a swish of her full velvety skirt. Then he took a deep breath and shook his head.
Such a woman. God, why have you made her so fine? I need to leave here. No question about it.
He looked out the window again and asked the Lord’s help for the coming days. In the sanctuary, music was beginning.
“Sir?” It was Stuva, shyly standing in the doorway. “May I stay with you?”
“Come ahead. Sit down.”
“The lady told me you shouldn’t be alone. I was glad. I don’t like so many people in one room.”
“I don’t blame you. But I think they’re here to worship. They should be harmless.”
Stuva sat beside him and started fiddling with the corner of a blanket. “Can I talk?”
“Indeed. Don’t be afraid of me, all right?”
The boy smiled. “I’m not. Not like I used to be.”
Tahn leaned his head back. He couldn’t recall ever seeing Stuva smile before. Things had truly changed.
“I miss Duncan, sir,” Stuva told him. “And I think they must be awful worried.”
“I know. We’ll go back soon. Tomorrow.”
“Can you ride?”
“I’ll manage.”
“Will we ever see the lady anymore?”
“I couldn’t say. Maybe when we know things are safe, you could visit her. She’ll probably miss you.”
“I like her lessons.”
Tahn nodded. “She’s a good woman. I thank God she’s got family again.”
“What did God do to you?” Stuva’s eyes were full of the question, but it seemed to embarrass him and he lowered his head.
Tahn looked at him for a moment, thinking how to answer. “You mean I seem different?”
“Yeah. I know you was bad hurt, but there’s more than that. You’re not angry no more.”
“Stuva, God took away an awful burden. Do you know what that means?”
“I’m not sure.”
“If I was angry, it was because no matter what I did, there was no way out. I didn’t think God would have me, Stuva, not ever, because of the things I’d done. A life full of blood, then some painful death, and then the fires of hell. That’s all I ever saw.”
“You’re really for sure he’s real, then? I mean, I try, but I still don’t know sometimes.”
“I’m sure. You will be too. He’ll show you, like he did me. He loves us. I can’t say why, but he does. He’ll give us better things than we’ve known. I know it, even when I worry. And we’ve got heaven when we die, Stuva, where nothing hurts anymore.”
“All of us?”
“I trust it will be so. The lady taught you to pray, didn’t she?”
“Yes, sir, but it’s hard. I can’t see him. And I’m not sure why he’d want me anyhow.”
He smiled. “You sound like me. I’m not sure either. But I’m glad he does. Maybe we’re not used to the idea of being cared for. That’ll change for you, though.”
“Our father didn’t want us.”
“It was his loss. A man ought to be proud to have you.”
The boy was looking at him so strangely. “Are
you
proud of us?”
“Indeed.”
“Are you going to stay with us, then, and not just leave us sometime?”
It was a hard question. He couldn’t imagine leaving them now, but it was still just as unimaginable that they would really want him. “Stuva, you won’t always need me.”
“Yes, we will! You’ve been good to us.”
“Not good enough to keep you from fearing me.”
“It’s different now. None of us are scared of you. Even when things are all safe, we want to stay with you and the lady both.”
That struck him deep, and it hurt. “You can’t have both, Stuva. Lady Trilett belongs here with her family. We can’t just claim her.”
“She said she loved us, sir. She can’t just forget us, can she?”
“She won’t. But that’s not the same as living where you live.”
“They’re rich, aren’t they?”
“They were. I expect they will be again, once they don’t need to be hiding.”
“You’ll miss her, won’t you, sir?”
He didn’t quite know a safe way to answer that. “We’ll be busy,” he finally said. “Stuva, I need some water.”
“Yes, sir.” The boy jumped up for the pitcher and cup the priest had left on a table by the door. “You hurt a lot, don’t you?”
“Not like I was.”
“I thought we’d lost you, sir.”
“God gave me my life again. I pray he helps me use it well.”
Tahn could hear little of the worship service, but he knew it was over when the sounds changed to a low chatter of voices. Father Anolle was the first to come to him. He stood in the doorway for a moment and then stepped forward, extending his hand.
“Mr. Dorn? Permit me to pray a blessing for you.”
A blessing? Tahn was not completely sure what the priest meant. “Sir, I—”
“God knows your heart, son,” Anolle said. “And I believe he would have you know more of him.”
I don’t understand you, Lord,
Tahn was thinking.
I don’t understand you at all, but I thank you for your love and your good people.
Just as the priest was finishing his prayer, Jarel Trilett came in with Vari, Doogan, and Tam.
“I guess a lot of people love God,” Doogan said. “And a lot of people love you and the lady’s family too.”
Tahn assumed he was talking to the priest. He watched the elderly man in his long robes straighten himself and turn toward the doorway. How could Anolle possibly accept him the way he did? This holy man could put him at ease more than any of the Triletts, more than anyone in his life ever had, except perhaps Vari, whom he counted his best friend.
“Benn will be coming soon, Mr. Dorn,” Anolle said. “Jarel, help me bring some of the food. We can eat together what our friends have shared.”
“Church was strange,” Tam said as soon as the priest was gone.
“It was okay, though,” Vari added. “I think the lady will be safe here. Those people won’t let anything happen to her.”
“The Triletts truly have friends,” Tahn told him.
Benn entered in time to hear it. “We are not the only ones. The people are asking about you.”
That made Tahn uneasy. He didn’t like their whereabouts being so widely known.
“Father Anolle told you to trust,” Benn said. “It is sound advice.” He sat down beside Tahn as Netta came in behind him. It was very clear she’d been crying.
“Come here, little girl,” her father said, and Netta sat on the floor beside him in her fine dress and put her head on his shoulder.
Tahn leaned forward, gripped by her tears. “What’s wrong?”
Benn put his arm around his daughter. “She is missing my brother, my sister, the rest of our family,” he said. “Their presence was sorely missed in our gathering this day.”
Tahn could not help watching her. What must it be like to have had a loving family surrounding you all of your days? And suddenly many, he didn’t know how many, were ripped away.
Dear Lady,
he thought.
It’s a pain I don’t understand.