“You’re gonna have a lot of fun tonight,” Maggie promised for the hundredth time. I must’ve looked nervous, which didn’t help the situation any.
When I heard the sound of a car, I stretched up on my toes again to peer out the window. Patrick had parked in front of the house in a beat up Honda, and my heart skipped a beat. He had actually picked me up. We were going to the dance. And Finn would be there. I swallowed hard and tried to remind myself that none of this was a big deal at all. I couldn’t believe what a freak I was being.
“He’s here,” I said and took a step back from the door, so it wouldn’t look so much like I had been waiting around like a total loser.
“He is?” Matt panicked and rushed to the door, so he could get a look at him through the window. “That’s his car? That’s a death trap! There’s no way you’re going in that!”
56
“Matt! Knock it off!” Maggie ordered him.
“Maggie, you haven’t seen this car!” Matt insisted but moved back so there was actually room for me to open the door. Maggie gave him a severe look, and he sighed his resignation.
I practically opened the door before Patrick even knocked. He looked a little startled by my speed at answering the door but quickly grinned broadly at us. I could feel Matt behind me, doing everything but growling at Patrick, and I tried to smile apologetically at him.
“Hey, Wendy,” Patrick said easily and gave me a quick look over. “You look really nice.”
He was a bit surprised, but I think it was because he hadn’t expected me to dress up so much. If it had just been the two of us, without any possibility of Finn, I wouldn’t have, but I didn’t want him to know that so I just kept smiling. Patrick had just put on a white tee shirt with dark wash jeans, but he looked pretty good.
“You look good too,” I nodded. Matt was still seething behind me, so I opened the door farther so I could introduce them and then I could get out of there. “Um, Patrick, this is my older brother, Matt, and that’s my aunt, Maggie.”
Patrick didn’t look the least bit intimidated Matt, who shook his hand much more forcefully than necessary. Maggie got up off the couch and hurried over to say hello.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Maggie gushed, shaking his hand.
“Likewise,” Patrick assured her.
“They’re painters,” I said when I saw him looking over their paint covered clothing. “Well, I guess we should get going.”
“Have her back by ten,” Matt demanded, staring harshly at Patrick.
“Midnight,” Maggie said over him.
“The dance doesn’t go til midnight,” Matt snapped incredulously.
“I know.” Maggie kept smiling and started ushering me out the door.
“Have fun guys!”
57
“Midnight at the very latest!” Matt amended as I shut the door behind me.
“Sorry,” I smiled sheepishly at Patrick. “Insanity runs pretty heavily in my family.”
“Good to know,” Patrick grinned as we walked to his car.
My only experience with dances was what I had seen on TV, but it really wasn’t that far off. The theme appeared to be “Crepe Paper in the Gymnasium,” and they had mastered it perfectly. The school colors were white and navy blue, so white and navy blue streamers covered everything, along with matching balloons. For romantic lighting, they had strung everything with white Christmas lights. A table to the side was covered in refreshments, and the band playing on the makeshift stage under the basketball hoop wasn’t that bad. Their set list appeared to only include songs from the films of John Hughes, and we came in the middle of a “Weird Science” cover that was quite a bit more electronic than I remember it being. When the song ended, they announced their name as “Shermer, Illinois.”
The biggest difference between real life and what films had taught me is that nobody was actually dancing. A group of girls stood directly in front of the stage, swooning at the foxy lead singer, but otherwise, the floor was mostly empty. The refreshment table had a small crowd, and people were scattered all over the bleachers.
“The cool kids come later,” Patrick explained when he noticed me looking around.
“So we’re not the cool kids?” I asked.
“Nope. We’re the punctual kids,” Patrick quipped.
Like a gentleman, he got me a cup of punch, and then we went over to the bleachers to sit. We sat on the first row because I had stupidly worn a pair of strappy heels that I didn’t trust myself to make it to the top in. As soon as we sat down, I kicked them off anyway, because for the most part, I hate shoes. We people watched and spent a lot of time mocking the other people that had bothered to show up on time.
58
As the night wore on, I found myself getting increasingly nervous. Finn still wasn’t here. Patrick hadn’t asked me to dance either, and other kids were actually starting to. The band had moved onto some kind of Tears For Fears medley about the time Tegan arrived, and she was arguably the coolest kid in school. She had used a gallon of concealer and lipstick to try to fix her lip, but she still looked like hell. I couldn’t revel in this, though, because I was starting to think that Finn had stood us up.
“Okay, so maybe this isn’t as much fun as I promised it would be.”
Patrick misread the look on my face for disappointment with him and the dance itself, so I forced a smile and shook my head.
“No, no, it’s fun,” I insisted. I was about to suggest dancing, hoping that would lighten my mood, but then Finn finally pushed through the gymnasium doors.
Wearing a slim-fitting black dress shirt and dark jeans, he looked good.
He had the sleeves rolled up and an extra button undone on his shirt, and I wondered why I had never realized how attractive he looked before. I’m sure I had a goofy smile plastered on my face, so I erased it as quickly as I could and tried to look bored.
“Well look who decided to grace us with his presence,” Patrick joked happily when Finn walked over to us. Patrick had leaned back on the bleachers, spreading his arms out behind so one of them was kind of behind me, but not around me at all.
“I had stuff with work,” Finn explained vaguely and sat down next to Patrick. He glanced over at me but didn’t say anything about how I looked.
Already, he looked annoyed and he’d just gotten here. This wasn’t exactly how I had hoped things would go.
“Work? I didn’t know you worked,” Patrick commented.
“Family business,” Finn sighed. Eager to change the subject, he looked over at us. “Have you guys been dancing?”
“Nope,” Patrick grinned. “Dancing is for suckers.”
59
“Is that why you came to a dance?” Finn asked pointedly. Patrick laughed, and Finn looked down at my bare feet. “You didn’t wear the right shoes for dancing. You didn’t even wear the right shoes for walking.”
“I don’t like shoes,” I told him defensively. My dress only came to above my knees, but I tried to pull it down, as if I could get it to cover my bare feet, which had suddenly become a source of embarrassment.
Finn gave me a look I couldn’t read at all, then went back to staring at the people dancing out in front of us. By now, the floor was almost entirely covered. Kids still dotted the bleachers, but they were mostly the headgear kids and the ones with dandruff. We were among the geeks and freaks of the school, and ordinarily I didn’t care. In fact, I didn’t even really care now. But I was sitting on the sidelines feeling foolish for not wearing shoes.
“So this is what you’re doing? Watching other people dance?” Finn asked.
“Sometimes,” Patrick admitted with a shrug. “But right now, I’m gonna go get some punch.” He stood up and glanced back at us. I was still playing with the hem of my dress and Finn appeared to be glaring at the dance floor.
“You kids don’t have too much fun while I’m gone.”
“Yeah, that’s gonna be hard,” I sighed. Patrick laughed as he walked away. The refreshments were on the side other of the gym, and I lost sight of him through the crowd dancing.
Finn leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and I moved so I was sitting up straighter. I thought we had been getting along, that we were growing into something nice and comfortable, but there was this awful awkward feeling hanging in between us. My dress was strapless, and I rubbed at my bare arms, feeling naked and uncomfortable.
“You cold?” Finn glanced over at me, and I shook my head. “I think its cold in here.”
“It’s a little chilly,” I admitted. “But nothing I can’t handle.”
“Yeah, you can handle anything,” Finn replied dryly.
60
Patrick still hadn’t returned with his punch, and I was starting to think he never would. It had probably been part of his plan, but it was failing horribly. Finn would barely look at me, which is a complete 180 from his constant creepy staring. Somehow, I found this worse. I don’t know why he had even come to the dance if he hated it so much, and I was about to ask him that when he turned to look at me.
“You wanna dance?” Finn asked me flatly.
“Are you asking me?” I couldn’t tell if he wanted to know if I liked dancing in general or if I wanted to dance with him, but either way, at that moment, that answer to both those questions was no.
“Yeah,” Finn shrugged.
“Yeah?” I shrugged sarcastically. “You really know how to sweet talk a girl.” His mouth crept up in his hint of a smile, and that officially won me over, the way it always did. I would’ve said yes to anything he said when he smiled at me, and I hated myself for it.
“Fair enough.” Finn stood up and extended his hand to me. “Would you, Wendy Everly, care to dance with me?”
“Sure.” I placed my hand in his, trying to ignore how soft and warm his skin felt and the rapid beating of my own heart, and got to my feet.
Naturally, the band had just started playing “If You Leave” by OMD, making me feel like I had walked into a perfect movie moment. Finn led me to the dance floor, and he placed his hand on the small of my back. I put one hand on his shoulder, and he held my other hand. I was so close to him, I could feel the delicious heat radiating from his body. His eyes were the darkest eyes I had ever seen, and they were looking at only me. For one unspoiled minute, everything in life felt perfect in a way that it never had before. Like there should be a spotlight on us and we were the only two people in the world.
Then something changed in Finn’s expression, something I couldn’t read, but it definitely got darker.
“You’re not a very good dancer,” Finn commented in that emotionless way he did.
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“Thanks?” I said unsurely. We were mostly just swaying in a small circle, and I wasn’t really sure how I could screw that up, and we seemed to be dancing the exact same way as everyone else. Maybe he was joking, so I tried to sound playful when I said, “You’re not that great yourself.”
“I’m a wonderful dancer,” Finn replied matter-of-factly. “I just need a better partner.”
“Okay.” I stopped looking up at him and started straight ahead over his shoulder. I didn’t understand what was happening at all. “I don’t know what to say to that.”
“Why do you need to say anything to that? It’s not necessary for you to speak incessantly. Although, I’m not sure you’ve realized that yet.” Finn’s tone had gotten downright icy, and I was still dancing with him because I couldn’t come up with enough sense to walk away.
“I’ve barely said anything. I’ve just been dancing with you.” I swallowed hard and didn’t appreciate how crushed I was starting to feel. “And you asked me to dance! It’s not like you’re doing me a favor.”
“Oh come on,” Finn disparaged me with an exaggerated eye roll. “The desperation was coming off you in waves. You were all but begging to dance with me. I
am
doing you a favor.”
“Wow.” I stepped back from him, feeling confused tears threatening and this awful pain growing inside of me. “I don’t know what I did to you!” His expression softened, but it was too late.
“Wendy-”
“No!” I cut him off. I had started shouting, and everyone around us had stopped dancing and had started staring at us, but I didn’t care. “You are a total dick!”
“Wendy!” Finn repeated, but I turned and hurried through the crowd.
There was nothing in the world I wanted more than to get out of there.
Patrick was standing by the punch bowl, talking to some kid very animatedly about something, but when he saw me, he stopped and grew concerned. My 62
shoes were on the other side of the gym, but I had no intention of going across the dance floor to get them.
“I want to leave.
Now
,” I hissed at Patrick.
“What-” Before he could ask what happened, Finn appeared at my side.
“Look, Wendy, I’m sorry,” Finn apologized sincerely, which only pissed me off. If he was sorry, then why had he even said that stuff in the first place? It was like he had been going out of his way to hurt my feelings.
“I don’t wanna hear anything from you!” I snapped and refused to look at him. Patrick looked back and forth between the two of us, trying to decipher what was going on.
“Wendy,” Finn floundered. “I didn’t mean-”
“I said I don’t want to hear it!” I glared at him, but only for a second
“Wen, maybe you should let the guy apologize,” Patrick suggested gently. “I don’t know what happened, but it never hurts to listen.”
“Yes it does!” Then, like a small child, I stomped my foot. “I want to go!”
“I think you should calm down first,” Patrick said, and I could tell he wasn’t ready to change his mind. Like me, he had envisioned some magical spark between Finn and I that clearly didn’t exist, but since he hadn’t heard what Finn had said to me, he wasn’t quite as willing to give up on the dream as I was. “The night is still really early, and you shouldn’t go home mad. So why don’t you just hear what Finn has to say.”
Finn stood just to the side of us, watching me intently, and part of me really, really wanted to listen to Patrick. If I stayed there, I knew I would let Finn say whatever he wanted to me, and like an idiot, I would probably believe him. And I didn’t want that. I wasn’t going to let him make a fool of me again.
I clenched my fists and looked at Patrick directly in his eyes. I kept chanting what I wanted over and over in my head.
I want to go home, just take me
home, please, please, just take me home. I can’t be here anymore.
Patrick just stared at me encouragingly, as if he could will me into talking to Finn. Then his hopeful 63