Sweet Damage (33 page)

Sometimes I think about what Anna said about Lilla that day. How not everything she did was bad. And sometimes I watch Anna when she's in the kitchen, cooking us a meal from scratch. She's getting pretty good at cooking these days and she never gets pissed off about the inconvenience or lack of space – our entire preparation area must be less than half a metre long – and I marvel at her determination, at her ability to adapt. And I feel lucky for the way things have turned out. Lucky to be with Anna, living here.

The best thing about our flat is the big east-facing window. There's no fancy view, but sometimes, at night, if I'm very very quiet, I can hear the ocean. And in the morning when we wake up and pull the curtains open, the light pours in, a perfect rectangle over the surface of our bed, our own personal blanket of sunshine.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I'm enormously grateful to my agent, Jo Unwin, for everything she does (including reading this book a billion times!) but most of all for her encouragement and faith, and for always pushing me to make my work better.

I cannot thank either Erica Wagner or Sarah Brenan enough for their support throughout the writing of this novel. From the very early stages right until the end they made what can be a tricky process much easier. Their enthusiasm and persistence – particularly during some eleventh hour changes to the plot – gave me the confidence to keep going until I got it right. Our numerous phone calls also kept me smiling.

Thanks also to Sonja Heijn – whose brilliant last-minute insights made an enormous difference.

Thank you to Vanessa Lanaway, Susila Baybars, Jen Castles, Gillian Stern, Kirsty Eagar, Hilary Reynolds and Aline Le Guen.

Thank you to Kirby Armstrong for the gorgeous, amazing cover.

Thanks to everyone at Allen & Unwin. I'm happy and proud to work with you.

To my first readers for their advice and encouragement – Wendy James, Emma James, Jenny James, Tony James, Prue Macfarlane and Haidee Hudson – thank you!

And to the precious people I live with – Hilary, Charlie, Oscar, Jack and Jimmy – thank you for everything.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rebecca James was born in Sydney in 1970.

She spent her early twenties working as a waitress, her late twenties teaching English in Indonesia and Japan, and most of her thirties having babies and working as a kitchen designer.

Her first novel,
Beautiful Malice
, was an international publishing sensation, selling in 52 countries.

Rebecca now lives in Canberra with her partner and their four sons.