Sway (Landry Family #1) (15 page)

"Maybe I'll wash a bowl tomorrow after breakfast and see if it changes my perspective," he teases. "It might be a life-altering experience. Who knows?"

"Report back. Make sure you get a soap that will keep your hands nice and soft."

“Noted.”

We sit quietly, eating our food and trading smiles with each other. I don’t feel awkward or compelled to speak at all, which surprises me. It feels absolutely normal to just sit and enjoy each other’s company like this is a routine afternoon.

I’m in my head, thinking about how comfortable I feel, when I look up and into his eyes. He’s leaned back in his chair just watching me.

I flush. “What?”

“Just watching you.”

“Obviously,” I laugh nervously. “Why?”

He lifts his shoulders in a half-hearted attempt at shrugging. A smile curls the side of his face. “You’re crazy beautiful.”

“I . . .” I sit my fork down and place my hands on my lap. Forcing a swallow, I will myself to look back up at him. “Thank you.”

“You don’t take compliments well.”

“They’re always just unexpected. That’s all.”

His head cocks to the side, like he’s working a puzzle. “Men don’t tell you that all the time? I find that hard to believe.”

“Sometimes, yes, I suppose,” I say, searching for words. “I never really go out of my way to date or anything. So it’s not like I’m in situations where someone is going to blurt it out there.”

“You don’t date? At all?”

Shaking my head, I smile sadly. “No. Occasionally, I guess. But they’re few and far between. Intentionally,” I toss in at the last minute, not wanting to seem like I’m bad goods.

“Trust me when I say I fully understand why someone wouldn’t want to date at certain periods in their lives. I’m kind of there now.” He touches his finger to his lip, trying to hide a smirk. “I’m
supposed
to be there now,” he corrects himself.

I giggle, closing my container and sitting it off to the side. My appetite is now long gone, and I have a propensity to fiddle when I’m nervous. I don’t want to be jacking with the slaw like a little kid, and I will be if I don’t get it out of my face.

“I’m sure you are,” I agree.

“I’m in this election and I have to lock down my image, as stupid as that sounds.”

“Remember when I told you I don’t know a lot about you?” I wink. “I do know enough to know you’re portrayed as a playboy. So you ‘locking down your image’ seems like a good idea.”

He rolls his eyes and it’s obviously a point of contention with him. “Who I’m dating doesn’t affect how I do my job.”

“I can see both sides of the argument.”

“A discussion for another day,” he says, obviously not wanting to delve into it. “My question is this: why are
you
not dating?”

His hands form a steeple that his chin rests on. The dimple in his left cheek sinks in just a bit and I want to touch his skin, feel the smoothness under my own.

“Alison?”

“Lots of reasons,” I say simply, knowing that’s not going to be enough to get around the topic.

A part of me wants him to know so that maybe it’ll make whatever happens next easier. Whether that’s him never calling me again or us meeting for lunch or dinner, it’ll be easier if he knows my hesitations to all of this.

“I told you I have a son. His father is out of the picture completely and I really need to make sure I’m focused on him. He deserves that from me and I’m the only parent he has.”

“Can I ask where his father is?”

I force a swallow. “He’s in prison.”

Barrett’s eyes fly open and he sits back in his seat again.

“He was a judge in Albuquerque,” I continue, figuring I may as well get it out there and over with. “Got caught up in some big scandals and was eventually disbarred, convicted of tampering with evidence, bribery, solicitation of bribery, solicitation of prostitution, and possession of drugs. Among other things. That’s the quick list.”

“Nice guy,” Barrett says, whistling through his teeth.

“Right? When all of that came to light, it was terrifying. The biggest scandal in New Mexico in a long time. I was even investigated for a short while because I was his wife, even though we were in the process of separating when it all came crashing down.”

The memory turns my stomach and I look away, not wanting to see the disappointment or judgment in his eyes. I’ve seen it so many times in other people’s—it would devastate me to see it in his.

“Alison,” he breathes, not speaking until I turn my head and look at him again. “I’m sorry. That had to be rough.”

My jaw drops, my brain unable to process his complete apparent rejection of my possible complicity. Of course I had nothing to do with that, but he doesn’t know me.

“You aren’t going to ask me about it?” I ask in disbelief. “Ask me if I was guilty? Ask me what the investigation found?”

His head shakes gently side to side. “I already know what it found.”

“How do you know?”

My hand trembles beneath the table, nervous energy kicking in. I have nothing to hide. But if he’s researched me and read everything they said, saw the pictures taken of Hayden leaving a hotel room with prostitutes, saw the inquiry into me, I’ll never be able to look at him again. It’s humiliation to an unbearable degree.

“I know because I know
you
,” he says, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Barrett, that doesn’t make any sense.” The breeze kicks up, the edge of the cloth rippling between my fingers. Despite the coolness of the air, my cheeks are on fire. This is not the discussion I wanted to have, although I suppose it was inevitable.

“It makes perfect sense. I know who you are. I don’t have to ask you what some prosecutor decided. I know they didn’t find anything.”

“So you didn’t have me investigated? Vetted, I think they call that.”

He shakes his head and picks up his water. “No.”

I sit incredulous, watching him take a long drink. He watches me over the top, waiting for me to react.

“I promise you I had nothing to do with any of those things,” I ramble, wanting to make it crystal clear that I was and am innocent. “I had no idea. If I had, I would’ve left him long before. I—”

“Hush,” he says, a softness to his voice that dampens the interruption. “I just told you I know what happened. I can tell.
This shit is my life
. Don’t forget that.”

He means for that to reassure me, to make me relax and realize he understands how things go in the public realm. But his words do the very opposite.

This shit is my life.

Everything I want to avoid, everything I left behind, is sitting in front of me amplified.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks.

“Like what?” I swallow.

“I don’t know. Like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“Just memories, I guess.”

“Those memories—that’s why you don’t date? You’re afraid of being hurt again?”

“No, not specifically. Heartbreak is a part of life. I can handle that.” I glance across the lawn, more away from him than at anything in particular. “I’m just being very picky this time around. Unless someone is one hundred percent worth it and in it the same as I am, I’m not taking my energy away from what I need to do for me and Hux. It just seems pointless.”

He nods and sort of takes it all in before pushing away from the table. Startled, I watch him come around and offer me his hand.

Pulling me to my feet, we take the few steps down the porch and onto the lawn. The grass is soft under my shoes, the smell of fall dancing through the air.

“It will be winter soon,” he says, more to himself than anything. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last few years, it’s that you can never predict what life’s going to throw at you one day to the next, just like you can’t predict the weather.”

I’m not sure where he’s going with this, so I don’t reply.

He looks at me through the corner of his bright green eyes. “Nothing you do in life, even the things you think you have figured out—they aren’t guaranteed.”

“True.”

“But at the same time, you have to take some risks to reap rewards.”

“I’m not much of a risk taker.”

He turns to face me, searching me for something. I can smell his cologne heating under the warm afternoon sun as he rolls back the cufflinks of his shirt. His forearms are tanned and toned, adorned with his silver watch. It’s a mix of casual and sophisticated, boy-next-door meets powerful enigma.

“Do you see me as a risk, Alison?”

My breath catches in my throat. “Absolutely.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re . . . you,” I whisper.

Before I know what’s happening, he takes the step that separates us. His body is nearly touching mine, a paper-thin margin the only thing between us.

I look up into his eyes, see the stubble dotting his hard jaw line, the slight angle to his nose that gives him more sex appeal than it takes away.

Our eyes lock. After a slight hesitation, his face lowers inch-by-torturous-inch.

I take in a quick breath as our lips touch. The contact zips through me, making me tingle from head to toe. His hands fall to the small of my back, gently yet firmly encouraging me to draw closer to him.

Pulling back shakily, I see his breathing is as erratic as mine. We watch each other like we don’t know whether to devour the other or walk our separate ways.

I want the first, but know I need to do the second. The look in his eyes tells me he feels the same way. I can’t be much good for his campaign either. As I turn over the options in my mind, what I want and what I need, the alarm goes off on my phone.

Barrett watches with confusion as I pull the device out of my pocket and turn it off.

“I have to go,” I say, my tone mixed with regret and relief. “I’m working tonight for Luxor. I have to be there a little early, hence the alarm.”

He runs his hand through his hair, mussing up the silky locks. His jaw opens and shuts before he finally looks resolved. “Okay.”

With a little slump in his shoulders, he leads me around the side of the house.

The pace is quick and my nerves bound right along with it. I’m not sure how to wrap this up. My head spins a thousand different options, but before I know it, he stops and pulls me in front of him.

“Do you want to see me again?”

It’s a simple question, yet one I stumble to answer.

“Barrett . . .”

“That’s not a no.”

“That’s not a yes, either,” I grin.

He smiles, too, and it ingrains itself in my memory. “I’ll call you soon. Maybe we can find a day we both have open.”

“Maybe.”

“I’d like that.”

“I think I’d like that, too,” I whisper.

His eyes light up and he starts to speak, but seems to think better of it. Instead, he kisses my cheek again and walks me to my car.

Barrett

MY BODY IS SWEATY FROM
the workout with my personal trainer. Instead of going to the gym, he came here. We worked out with free weights and did some simple cardio.

I strip off my soaked t-shirt when my phone rings. I see it’s Daphne, but I answer it anyway. I still need her father’s endorsement, so I can’t just ignore her like I want to. That wouldn’t go over well.

“Hey,” I say, sitting on a barstool at the kitchen island.

“Hey, Barrett,” she sings in her melodramatic way. “How are you?”

“Good. Just finished a workout.”

“Nice. Do you have any plans this evening?”

I look around the empty kitchen and shrug. “No, not really. Just some work I need to finish up. I got a little behind today.”

Memories of Alison on the porch of my family home makes me feel warm all over. It’s normally an off-putting feeling to have a woman anywhere near my family and our things, but with her, it seems normal. Organic.

“Barrett?”

I flip back to reality. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“I was saying that I have a thing with Daddy tonight and was hoping you’d be able to go with me. You know how it goes, all those stuffy men talking about boring stuff. I need someone to go with so I don’t slit my throat.”

“Is it the Raparasey Dinner?”

“Yeah, I think so. It’s the one you went to with me a few times at Seaton Block. I just . . . I need your hot ass to go with me again.”

Chuckling, I stand and head to the fridge for a bottle of water. “I’m sorry, Daph, but I can’t.”

“Why?” she pouts. I can hear the disappointment in her tone, maybe even a little anger.

“I told you I have work to do,” I point out.

“Yeah, but you always go with me. And think of all the connections you can make, sugar. It’s good for you. And Daddy will be there, of course, and I know he hasn’t officially endorsed you yet . . .”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?” she presses.

“It’s really the same thing, isn’t it?”

“No!” she exclaims. “It isn’t. You always go with me. We’ve always bailed each other out, Barrett, and tonight—I need you.”

The last couple of words are so heavy, so full of implication, that I feel my shoulders fall with the weight.

“You don’t need me,” I scoff.

“I do.”

She reminds me of a little girl, pouting to get her way. I wonder if she’s always been this annoying, and if so, why I’m just realizing how bad it is.